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Bacon Salt
July 19, 2007 8:48 AM   Subscribe

Because everything should taste like bacon.
posted by mr_crash_davis (113 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite

 
Why would you have fries if you could have bacon fries?

-Sean H.
posted by Kwine at 8:51 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


But is it kosher?
posted by wfrgms at 8:51 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


According to the website, it is kosher. And vegetarian. Although that's a little like calling animated porn "feminist" since they didn't exploit any real, specific woman.

Whoa, got a little heavy there. I support baconsalt. It will revolutionize popcorn.
posted by DU at 8:56 AM on July 19, 2007 [4 favorites]


Baconsalt! I approve!
posted by ColdChef at 8:57 AM on July 19, 2007


It does sound slightly better than betel nut / tobbacco flavored condoms.
posted by isopraxis at 8:58 AM on July 19, 2007


Our love is like a honey-baked ham bacon: pink, salty and unclean in the eyes of the lord. (source)

Mmm... Bacon...
posted by slimepuppy at 8:58 AM on July 19, 2007 [6 favorites]


Vosges's Mo's Bacon Bar

It's odd to taste milk chocolate that fades into salt, then bacon bits.
posted by qcubed at 8:58 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Just tried the link. Tastes more like pepsi.
posted by googly at 9:01 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Including ice cream ...
posted by chinese_fashion at 9:01 AM on July 19, 2007


Oh god. If I weren't going on vacation next week, I'd order this today. Don't want the neighbors stealing my baconsalt while I'm gone.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:02 AM on July 19, 2007


God bless America.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:04 AM on July 19, 2007


And for dessert, Cheddar-Bacon Popcorn with Bacon Salt and just the tiniest smidgen of Popcorn Salt with Butter Flavor.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:04 AM on July 19, 2007


I love the shout-out to Plessy segregation logic on their t-shirts. Not.
posted by phaedon at 9:06 AM on July 19, 2007


phaedon, that's a direct quote from George Orwell's Animal Farm. The original commandment is that all animals are equal, and the pigs alter it to justify their dominance over the other animals.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:08 AM on July 19, 2007


*heart asplodes*
posted by jonmc at 9:08 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Because everything should smell like bacon too.
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:08 AM on July 19, 2007


Dogs don't know it's not bacon.
posted by WCityMike at 9:08 AM on July 19, 2007


I had a dream that this day would come where everything could taste like bacon and a glimpse of heaven would be before us. This news is enough to make me cry. Bless you, m_c_d.
posted by dios at 9:09 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


BacosĀ®-flavored Pepsi Blue!
posted by humannaire at 9:09 AM on July 19, 2007


phaedon, I'm pretty sure they're reffing Orwell's Animal Farm, not Plessy.

But my sarcasm detection isn't on yet, not enough caffeine.
posted by SaintCynr at 9:10 AM on July 19, 2007


Should have called it Shadowhog Salt for those of us who want to experience what Gaz experienced in Invader Zim.
posted by inthe80s at 9:10 AM on July 19, 2007


Ah, the Pope beat me to it.
posted by SaintCynr at 9:11 AM on July 19, 2007


Great. The one time I bleed blue I get canned for not knowing my literary references.
posted by phaedon at 9:11 AM on July 19, 2007


This is great. Now we just need to get everything wrapped in fried, sweetened pancake dough and put on the end of a stick.
posted by fungible at 9:12 AM on July 19, 2007


The orders may take 1 to 3 weeks to arrive, according to the confirmation message I just got. God damn it, this is going to be the longest 1 to 3 weeks of my life.

I guess I can just tide myself over by eating platefuls of bacon, topped with bacon. Washed down with a cool refreshing glass of bacon.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:15 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure expressing concern for the civil rights of pigs as expressed in t-shirt slogans is really "bleeding blue" anyway.
posted by DU at 9:19 AM on July 19, 2007


MMM. BACON.

However, they make no mention of whether or not this is safe for use in sex play.

What?
posted by loquacious at 9:20 AM on July 19, 2007 [8 favorites]


I just don't understand the lure of bacon. Even before I gave up eating red meat over 15 years ago bacon had never appealed to me. I would always pick it out of things, even then.

Which leads me to believe that this tastes totally revolting and you are all welcome to my share.
posted by gomichild at 9:21 AM on July 19, 2007


Note the uncanny Metafilterishness of this baconsalt blog recipe.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:23 AM on July 19, 2007


gomichild: it's analogous to huffing gasoline to get high.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:24 AM on July 19, 2007


MMM bacon flavored Cilantro!
posted by Eekacat at 9:25 AM on July 19, 2007


Well, then. Humanity has officially reached its pinnacle. What else is there to do?
posted by Floach at 9:26 AM on July 19, 2007


Well I don't eat bacon for the taste. It's not exactly chocolate. I enjoy eating bacon because I love chomping down on fatty, salty, meaty, oily, crunchy (but not too crunchy) goodness. I also find the image of strips of glistening meat to be somewhat erotic (but not too erotic). There's also a bit of association going on as bacon always summons sweet memories of waking up and watching Saturday morning cartoons and enjoying the smell and crackle as pop that drifted up from the kitchen where my dear mum was busily frying and dicing the blessed meat. Instead of bacon salt to make everything taste like bacon I'd much rather these two entrepreneurs dedicate themselves to making bacon itself more portable and with a better form factor. Perhaps bacon in a can? Or bacon-to-go microwave lunches? Or maybe a service to send over beautiful red-headed women with endless legs to cook package upon package of tasty bacon for you? (Scratch that last one, that's just my fantasy and probably isn't viable... I've said too much.)
posted by nixerman at 9:26 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


I just don't understand the lure of bacon.

Bacon is the chocolate of the meat world. It's so delicious. You're weird. I know die-hard vegans that will occasionally eat bacon, just because it is bacon, and it is good.
posted by loquacious at 9:27 AM on July 19, 2007 [6 favorites]


I would like to purchase some of your marvelous invention, baconsalt. I will be adding it to my bacon.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:29 AM on July 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


...and now for the Futurama reference:

Fry: "I'm never going to get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? ADMIRAL Crunch?!?"

Leela: "Well, if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula."

It looks like we're one step closer to the future.
posted by webnrrd2k at 9:31 AM on July 19, 2007 [8 favorites]


i would like to nominate mr_crash_davis as MeFi's patron saint of bacon.
posted by the painkiller at 9:33 AM on July 19, 2007


So, if it is vegan and kosher, then what the hell is in there? You're not curious, you'd just rather salivate?
posted by Burhanistan at 9:34 AM on July 19, 2007


I am going to use this to get my pakistani coworker addicted to bacon flavor. Yes, I am an asshole.
posted by mikeh at 9:36 AM on July 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


It's vegan in the sense that it's made from vegans, Burhanistan. It's kosher in the sense that it's made from vegan Jews. It's pork in the sense that it's long pork. Baconsalt is people, Burhanistan. Sweet, delicious people!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:38 AM on July 19, 2007 [7 favorites]


So, if it is vegan and kosher, then what the hell is in there?

3,4dimethylbaconium
posted by DU at 9:40 AM on July 19, 2007 [6 favorites]


loquacious: You're weird.

I am not weird.

Ugh even the thought of these greasy pink and white strips coming out of a greasy package turns my stomach! And that disgusting smell as it's put in the pan and starts sizzling away and spitting as the grease pockets do mini explosions... wait you sickos are salivating as you read this aren't you????
posted by gomichild at 9:41 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Because everything should taste like blue.
posted by buzzv at 9:42 AM on July 19, 2007


I just don't understand the lure of bacon. Even before I gave up eating red meat over 15 years ago bacon had never appealed to me. I would always pick it out of things, even then.

I have been a vegetarian for most of my life. The only things I miss are bacon and Hebrew National hot dogs.
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:45 AM on July 19, 2007


>>wait you sickos are salivating as you read this aren't you????

Just keep typing...I'm almost there.
posted by SaintCynr at 9:45 AM on July 19, 2007 [6 favorites]


And don't even get me started on my loathing of popcorn which undoubtably some of you freaks will think to douse with bacon salt...
posted by gomichild at 9:47 AM on July 19, 2007


Just keep typing...I'm almost there.

Am I in an AOL chat room?
posted by uncleozzy at 9:47 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


you sickos are salivating as you read this aren't you?

Screw salivating, you keep describing greasy pink and white strips, and I might start ovulating.

Mama needs some bacon salt. Bad.
posted by mckenney at 9:48 AM on July 19, 2007


I was totally serious, by the way: I want to put this baconsalt on my bacon so I can has bacon2!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:52 AM on July 19, 2007 [5 favorites]


It's pork in the sense that it's long pork. Baconsalt is people, Burhanistan. Sweet, delicious people!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson


Well, at least I learned about Long Pork.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:55 AM on July 19, 2007


I just don't understand the lure of bacon.

More than one Muslim of my acquaintance has told me that the one thing that most tempts them to defy Allah's will on the subject of pork is the inimitably seductive smell of cooking bacon.

So, you know, it's not us, it's you.

That said, imitation bacon bits are pretty vile, so I'll probably stick with the real deal. And anything other than real melted butter and salt on popcorn is an abomination that makes baby Jesus cry so hard the movie screen goes all blurry.
posted by gompa at 9:57 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


3,4dimethylbaconium

That's funny. I just had some 3,4-methylenedioxybacon-N-methylbaconphetamine the other day. It was also incredibly delicious. With that dual-baconation methyl groups, how could it not be?

Also, I love all of you so very, very much. Can I, err, sprinkle some of this salt on you?
posted by loquacious at 9:57 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Next we just need sodium-free baconsalt so we can have pure, unadulterated vegetarian-kosher bacon essence.
posted by Pants! at 9:59 AM on July 19, 2007


I made a pizza on the weekend with a crust based on the 'bacon placemat' from Instructibles. Best use of 14 slices of bacon ever.
posted by lowlife at 10:00 AM on July 19, 2007


Finally, a condiment that tastes like Francis Bacon!

This is much better than my idea for a fruit milkshake called "The Shakes-Pear".
posted by the quidnunc kid at 10:02 AM on July 19, 2007 [6 favorites]


I don't know about bacon salt, really, but just think about this for a minute:

You cook up some of that thick slab bacon, slooooowly. Then you take some fresh sliced sourdough bread and toast it lightly. Then you cut up one New Jersey beefsteak tomato (wait till you get a good one!), you need four thick slices because you are going to end up eating two of these, then one (ONE) piece of red leaf lettuce or Romaine (you need about 1/3 stem/thick end to leaf ratio), not too wet from when you rinse it under the tap. Mayo, fresh ground black pepper.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!

Here is the amazing thing about this amazing sandwich, really, really, anyone can make it and it's fucking delicious, it's the most democratic thing in the world a BLT, with a BLT every man is a king, every woman is president-for-life, every dog is a pony.

Drink ice water while you are eating your BLT's and then quickly go wash your hands and face and lie down on a freshly made bed in an airconditioned room, read sci-fi paperbacks from the seventies, take a little nap.

That's about as good as being a human being gets, I'm pretty sure.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:09 AM on July 19, 2007 [98 favorites]


baconated salt is a wonder of science.
posted by Lord_Pall at 10:11 AM on July 19, 2007


Well, if baconsalt isn't your thing, you can always try Season Shot.
posted by sephira at 10:11 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Groovy beans, sephira! I just hope it works better than jello shots! That one got messy!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:14 AM on July 19, 2007


I support everything about this venture.
posted by banannafish at 10:15 AM on July 19, 2007


Awesome!!!

Bacon salt is a zero calorie,
vegetarian, kosher certified,
seasoning salt that makes
everything taste like bacon.


Boo. I bet it sucks as much as artificial carbohydrate-based bacon bits.
posted by porpoise at 10:19 AM on July 19, 2007


Divine_Wino, you just explained to me how I am spending my upcoming birthday--cheers.
posted by everichon at 10:20 AM on July 19, 2007


> Season Shot.

Holy shit that's funny. Please be real, PLEASE be real.
posted by Peter H at 10:22 AM on July 19, 2007


The list of tags on this post is among the very few earthly examples of perfection that we will ever witness.
posted by Mister_A at 10:22 AM on July 19, 2007


Ugh even the thought of these greasy pink and white strips coming out of a greasy package turns my stomach! And that disgusting smell as it's put in the pan and starts sizzling away and spitting as the grease pockets do mini explosions...

This is the sound of an orgasm building, my friends.
posted by Mikey-San at 10:24 AM on July 19, 2007


This is the sound of an orgasm building, my friends.

Building!? What do you mean... building? I'm already well on my way to a baker's dozen!

Being a Scorpio sucks, sometimes. Sometimes. This is not one of those times.
posted by loquacious at 10:38 AM on July 19, 2007


With bacon every dog is a fucking pony. That's so right.
posted by OmieWise at 10:42 AM on July 19, 2007


I am not a vegetarian, though since I am married to one and hate to cook, from a dietary standpoint, I might as well be one. This really doesn't bother me. I like meat, and when I get up the motivation, I occasionally make it for myself. But I rarely notice when it's not around.

Except when I smell bacon.

I don't even like bacon that much. But my god, that smell...

Just thinking about it makes me hungry. If this is, in fact, vegetarian safe, I'll probably get it, just to have around.
posted by quin at 10:51 AM on July 19, 2007


My best friend has this bit he uses when he chats up strange women that goes something like this:

So I was reading about how China just put out this stamp that tastes like sweet and sour sauce when you lick it. Isn't that awesome? [wait for response, gauge interest] So I was thinking, what if America put out a flavored stamp? What would it be? Well I was thinking about it and I came up with the best idea: [pause for dramatic effect, wait for it...]BACON! [huge grin] What do you think? A bacon flavored stamp! You like bacon don't you? Would you buy a bacon flavored stamp?

Watching him do it is pure magic, the girl is usually so amused by his delivery that the conversation goes on for a while. One time he asked Would you buy a bacon flavored stamp?
to some chick in Starbucks and she replied back straight faced "Well it depends on whether or not it would cost more than a regular stamp."

I was hurting so bad from trying not to laugh at the whole situation that I had to get up and walk outside to laugh uncontrollably.
posted by daHIFI at 10:53 AM on July 19, 2007


Why stop at salt?
posted by oflinkey at 10:54 AM on July 19, 2007


And of course: Six strips of hickory smoked bacon piled high atop two patties of beef. Go on, obsess a little.

I read that last line as "obese a little".
posted by Peter H at 11:05 AM on July 19, 2007


gomichild: keep up with that dirty mouth of yours and some of us might start proposing.

I voted with my wallet and bought the Sampler Pack.

If this thread is still open when it arrives, I'll try to report back with findings.

I'm also about to buy one of their shirts. I think it would be approved motorcycling apparel.

"All the bacon flavor without the triple bypass". I think that would go over well with my other 2-wheeled brethren.
posted by Ynoxas at 11:09 AM on July 19, 2007


Divine_Wino...I...I've done that. Now I want a BLT.

And air conditioning.

And some bacon salt.

In all seriousness, I have a friend who is getting some of this. I'll wrap it in this, of course.
posted by cobaltnine at 11:11 AM on July 19, 2007


God damn this thread, now I might have to get on my god damned bike and go score a BLT for lunch. First Noble Truth, indeed.
posted by everichon at 11:13 AM on July 19, 2007


Thank you. This brought tears to my eyes.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:14 AM on July 19, 2007


Shit Ynoxas, you must have a lot of pork to throw it away on all this bacon.
posted by Peter H at 11:15 AM on July 19, 2007


Ahaha I like their Animal Farm quoting shirts
posted by pantsrobot at 11:17 AM on July 19, 2007


All we need now is some lettuce salt, and some tomato salt and we can have ourselves a delicious salt sandwich.
posted by Peter H at 11:17 AM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


BACON ICE CREAM!!!

If I put bacon salt on that, will it melt faster?

You know what? I really don't fucking care. Bacon ice cream soup sounds good, too.
posted by loquacious at 11:19 AM on July 19, 2007


Thank god for bacon salt if it lives up to the hype. But I've been hurt too many times. Turkey bacon...gack. I still have that taste in my mouth sometimes. And Lawry's seasoned salt, once so bacony good, changed their recipe and left me out in the cold.

I just don't know if I can go through all that pain and disillusionment again...
posted by misha at 11:20 AM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Damnit, this ham gum is all bones.
posted by tehloki at 11:20 AM on July 19, 2007


You know what goes great with pain and disillusionment? That's right: Bacon!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:29 AM on July 19, 2007


"And don't even get me started on my loathing of popcorn which undoubtably some of you freaks will think to douse with bacon salt..."

Damn skippy. As soon as my sampler pack arrives, I will make THREE DIFFERENT FLAVORS OF BACON POPCORN.

Maybe four, if I can find that cheese powder...
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:35 AM on July 19, 2007


No. No it shouldn't. I like bacon as much as the next red-blooded carnivore, but I like variety.
posted by sharpener at 11:52 AM on July 19, 2007


I just wanted to say, in public, that I sent this link to my girlfriend, who turned around and bought us some Bacon Salt. That is to say: my girlfriend is awesome.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:05 PM on July 19, 2007


Oh god.
I'm in love.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 12:22 PM on July 19, 2007


I support Bacon Salt!
posted by djseafood at 12:50 PM on July 19, 2007


More than one Muslim of my acquaintance has told me that the one thing that most tempts them to defy Allah's will on the subject of pork is the inimitably seductive smell of cooking bacon.

Do we need further proof that there is no God? (Or else that if he does exist, he's a sadistic asshole?)
posted by fungible at 1:19 PM on July 19, 2007


Now my hand-woven baconsheets are obsolete, and just when I when I mastered rolling a 20-foot long baconsheet for easy wrapping.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 1:38 PM on July 19, 2007


I'm looking forward to some bacon-flavored desserts. They'll probably mostly be intolerably disgusting, but if someone hits on a good one, oh man.
posted by silby at 1:50 PM on July 19, 2007


Silby, I linked to a story about bacon ice cream a ways up there ...
posted by chinese_fashion at 2:17 PM on July 19, 2007


I actually suffer from a rare medical condition that actually does make everything taste like bacon.

Trust me, it's not nearly as great as it sounds.





OK, I'm lying. It's totally awesome.
posted by infinitywaltz at 2:47 PM on July 19, 2007 [3 favorites]


I feel another Splenda thread coming on. The makers of real bacon are not going to like this one bit. Although I'm sure a few pigs are breathing a little easier tonight.
posted by gfrobe at 3:39 PM on July 19, 2007


I had a dream that this day would come where everything could taste like bacon and a glimpse of heaven would be before us.

And then you could wake from that dream thanks to your WAKE n' BACON Alarm Clock!!!
posted by ericb at 3:45 PM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bacos are vegan. I've been vegetarian all of my adult life, and I eat the little fuckers on and in everything (much to my bacon-hating carnivorous girlfriend's chagrin).

Bacon salt seems kind of pointless, though. If I were a meat eater and wanted bacon flavored popcorn, I'd just pour my morning's bacon grease over the goddamn tub of popped corn.
posted by item at 4:09 PM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


So someone ran baco-bits through a grinder and called it bacon salt? How is this important exactly?
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:11 PM on July 19, 2007


"How is this important exactly?"

IT'S FUCKING BACON SALT.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:24 PM on July 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Yes, but can you smoke it?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:40 PM on July 19, 2007


IT"S FUCKING BACON SALT

Yes, but can you smoke it?


Just when I thought I couldn't love MetaFilter any more, this thread comes along.
posted by skammer at 7:00 PM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


(I just bought 3 sampler packs. One for me, 2 for gifts.)
posted by skammer at 7:01 PM on July 19, 2007


I'm curious, but I think I'll wait for Amazon to carry it (they say it's coming soon) so that I don't have to spend more on shipping than the actual product.
posted by pmurray63 at 8:00 PM on July 19, 2007


Why rub generic salt in your enemies wounds when you can rub bacon salt instead.
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 8:27 PM on July 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


And for extra cruelty, when you have laid waste to their villages, and you salt the ground, make sure you use Bacon Salt.

Plants won't grow and they are cursed with the wonderful fragrance of bacon which they can't eat.

It's old school vengeance with a modern twist!
posted by quin at 9:33 PM on July 19, 2007


How about I just shove a pig down your throat?

Homer: So you think you know better than this family, eh? Well as long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! So butter your bacon!
Bart: Yes father.
Lisa: Mom, dad, my spiritual quest is over!
Homer: Hold that thought... Bacon up that sausage, boy!

Brought to you by the magical bacon animal.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:34 PM on July 19, 2007


If it actually tastes like bacon and not baco-bits I'd be all over it, except... when I want bacon, I just cook some damn bacon.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:45 PM on July 19, 2007


Too bad we can't call it basalt.
posted by Xere at 10:35 PM on July 19, 2007


My god, there is a god! A piggy salty bacony god, with ketchup nipples.
posted by oxford blue at 12:39 AM on July 20, 2007


Will it make frog legs taste like bacon?
posted by NedKoppel at 9:01 AM on July 20, 2007


Mmmm, this would go good on bacon.
posted by mazola at 9:33 AM on July 20, 2007


swine salt = yuck
posted by domdom at 11:37 AM on July 20, 2007


All right, ya'll, a friend just brought me two bottles of this wondrous thing, Original and Peppered. I have not tried the Peppered version yet, but I doused my salad with the Original.

Conclusion: tastes like bacon! No, really. And salt. Basically, it's like finely ground Bacos, which are awesome.

I'm putting this shit on everything from now on.
posted by tristeza at 12:52 PM on July 20, 2007


I just got my order confirmation and tracking number this morning, tristeza. I am so jealous.

I've been on a camping trip since Friday night, and Bacon Salt would make everything cooked over a campfire taste better.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:27 PM on July 23, 2007


Bacon popcorn is awesome, by the way.

Not in large quantities, though. I made a small bowl and it was perfect. A large bowl may have been too much.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:16 PM on July 29, 2007


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