"What happens then?" "Nothing. You just suck."
August 8, 2007 5:50 PM   Subscribe

Minesweeper: The Movie.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (34 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite

 
"Why are you here soldier?"
"I'M HERE BECAUSE I'M BORED!"

I'm amused.
posted by bicyclefish at 6:04 PM on August 8, 2007 [3 favorites]


"THAT CLOCK IS GONNA KEEP TICKING UNTIL IT REACHES 999!"

I would see this movie.
posted by ninjew at 6:06 PM on August 8, 2007


Very cute.
posted by greasy_skillet at 6:12 PM on August 8, 2007


"My grandmother plays it all the time" might find its way into some of my conversations now.
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:13 PM on August 8, 2007


But Solitaire's the only game in town.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:17 PM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


Anytime you are dealing with well known, classic source material, you want to avoid distracting your audience with big name stars. Whether that material be The Lord of the Rings, The New Testament, The Holocaust, or Minesweeper, it is much better to have no-names in your movie. I did not recognize any of the actors in this film. I think that is a good move by the producer.

I do object to the unrealistic portrayal of the mines blowing up. There should be blood, screams, and body parts flying everywhere. Instead, there is merely an explosion and the bodies seem to vanish. I don't really understand why anyone would adapt Minesweeper without realistically portraying the violence. I find it to be a cop-out by the director. Perhaps this preview has been sanitized to suit all audiences and th movie will contain the real carnage that is an integral part of Minesweeper. I will reserve my judgment on that.

I also don't like the final scene of the preview. It hints at a sequel. While I fully expect Hearts to have the potential to be equally compelling (though I would love to see them try to make Hearts without gore), it is somewhat of a cinematic faux pas to announce that there will be a sequel to a movie in its own preview. Among other things, this lets the audience know that at least one -- if not more -- of the minesweepers are going to be alive at the end of the movie.

I am a little bit interested in the setting they have chosen. Most of the productions of the original play have have been set in either the future or in a present-day high-tech setting. To apparently go back to early twentieth century Europe is an interesting choice. I chuckle to myself as I think what the implications of that setting may have on the "7." I think that it is no coincidence that the preview holds back on showing the "7." It could be a brilliant interpretation.
posted by flarbuse at 6:18 PM on August 8, 2007 [32 favorites]


flarbuse, please see this
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:23 PM on August 8, 2007 [3 favorites]


I'm waiting for Tetris: The Movie.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 6:27 PM on August 8, 2007


flarbuse that reeks of effort.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 6:32 PM on August 8, 2007


I always thought of it as more of a maritime thing. Like the 'numbers' are sonar pings.
posted by delmoi at 6:47 PM on August 8, 2007


I never much liked Elephant Larry, but this is rather good!
posted by TonyRobots at 6:50 PM on August 8, 2007


I've watched this five times today. It's brilliant.
posted by Mach3avelli at 6:51 PM on August 8, 2007


What do we do now?

Now, we guess.


Amusingly, I'm going to use this exact line in my screenplay; AskMe, The Motion Picture.
posted by quin at 6:55 PM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Why are these mines even here?"

The introspective one always dies.
posted by DU at 6:57 PM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


That was much better than it had any right to be.
posted by Rangeboy at 6:57 PM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


The bombs in Minesweeper are clearly naval mines; that, plus the well-known fact that minesweepers are warships designed to remove naval mines, clearly calls for a naval setting.

Also, there has already been a Minesweeper movie.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:06 PM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


I'm waiting for Tetris: The Movie.

Too late.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:15 PM on August 8, 2007


Joss Whedon should direct it, and all the minesweepers should be twenty-something females in skimpy shorts. I'd watch that.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:15 PM on August 8, 2007


No one's mentioned Monopoly: The Movie yet?
posted by puke & cry at 7:26 PM on August 8, 2007


About as interesting as a fork in the schnozz.
posted by nickyskye at 7:27 PM on August 8, 2007


That was fucking awesome.


A++++++++++ WOULD BLOW UP AGAIN
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:53 PM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


flarbuse FTW.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:54 PM on August 8, 2007


In response to Kirkaracha's first link, can I just say " ha ha ".
posted by wilful at 7:59 PM on August 8, 2007


Metafilter: I'M HERE BECAUSE I'M BORED!
posted by dirigibleman at 8:00 PM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


flarbuse that reeks of effort.
posted by QuarterlyProphet

Yes, god forbid, a little effort to amuse us all, how lame. I'm off now to to smoke behind the bleachers instead of doing my homework.
posted by whoaali at 8:03 PM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


nickyskye typed "About as interesting as a fork in the schnozz."

Needs an NSFA warning.

Also, there is a Tetris movie.
posted by roll truck roll at 8:24 PM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


SO funny! I also loved the facebook/off video on the same site. Hee.
posted by Lucie at 8:28 PM on August 8, 2007


I found this rather meh. Glad other people found it funny though.

I really wish I could find a stream for "The Big Charade". That was the best fake trailer ever.
posted by Alex404 at 8:32 PM on August 8, 2007


that was funny. short attention span theatre on the internet is getting better
posted by jcruelty at 9:10 PM on August 8, 2007


When's "Google: The Movie" coming out?
posted by SteelyDuran at 12:58 AM on August 9, 2007


The Linux community have already banded together to produce "Mines". It's the Deep Impact to this movie's Armageddon. On the plus side, it will be released under a Creative Commons license. On the downside, there will be so much bickering over which movie format is "free" enough that it will never actually be released.
posted by Gary at 1:05 AM on August 9, 2007 [3 favorites]


That's awesome. The last line cracked me the fuck up. I play the Windows Hearts game on a touch screen at work, which is kind of like a Wii for losers.
posted by brundlefly at 2:52 AM on August 9, 2007


Amusing little film, but I think flarbuse's comment was better.
posted by electricinca at 7:13 AM on August 9, 2007


When's "Google: The Movie" coming out?

It's already been cast.
posted by Wet Spot at 2:29 PM on August 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


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