112 Millionaires Drown In Hilarious Accident

August 27, 2007 10:33 PM

Ocean Residencesby Four Seasons is your own private apartment aboard a giant cruise ship (one of 112 similar apartments aboardship). For those afflicted with both wanderlust and an unimaginable amount of money, the online brochure makes a somewhat compelling case for having no fixed abode.
posted by jonson (40 comments total)

There goes the neighborhood.
posted by Poolio at 10:45 PM on August 27, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

I wonder how they handle sea piracy (and security) if they're in international waters.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:47 PM on August 27, 2007

I'd be pretty OK with having my own train car, like James West and Artimus Gordon. Does anyone do that anymore?
posted by oneirodynia at 10:48 PM on August 27, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

See also The World and residenSea.
posted by ericb at 10:51 PM on August 27, 2007

The World Cruise Ship [PDF].
posted by ericb at 11:01 PM on August 27, 2007

I have a hunch that something along those (cruise) lines could be a viable alternative to "assisted care living" when one has grown long in tooth.

Forget the nursing home... put me on the cruise that never ends.
posted by deCadmus at 11:01 PM on August 27, 2007

deCadmus - don't fool yourself - that's just where your children will tell everyone they've put you.
posted by jonson at 11:08 PM on August 27, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

The ocean is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.
posted by Poolio at 11:09 PM on August 27, 2007

Yes please.
posted by Roman Graves at 11:09 PM on August 27, 2007

deCadmus:

Already done.
posted by zabuni at 11:16 PM on August 27, 2007

So this is an FPP about a brochure?
posted by adamvasco at 11:23 PM on August 27, 2007

Brochurley you're not serious, adamvasco.
posted by Poolio at 11:27 PM on August 27, 2007

I was kidding. I really was.

But dang... maybe I *will* retire on a cruise ship! ;)
posted by deCadmus at 11:39 PM on August 27, 2007

Cruise Ships...cruise ships...cruise ships...oh right, cruise ships.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:23 AM on August 28, 2007

I'm gonna retire on a rocketship. When I die, it'll fire itself back at earth, ensuring that I have a lasting impact.
posted by Poolio at 12:28 AM on August 28, 2007

So years of the barf boat?
posted by maxwelton at 12:36 AM on August 28, 2007

Okay, that settles it, I definitely need a Sugar Daddy.
posted by amyms at 12:44 AM on August 28, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

That boat must be one of the best arguments for progressive taxation.
posted by hoskala at 1:56 AM on August 28, 2007

Brochurley you're not serious, adamvasco.

Don't call me Churley, bro.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:33 AM on August 28, 2007

Here you go........ Shirley.
posted by adamvasco at 3:08 AM on August 28, 2007

Shirley?
posted by Roman Graves at 3:20 AM on August 28, 2007

It's like an RV for rich people.
posted by grouse at 3:40 AM on August 28, 2007

It's like an RV for rich people.

But, RVs are already for rich people. I mean, seriously, I've seen new RVs that cost more than my house.
posted by amyms at 4:49 AM on August 28, 2007

Sorry, I mean for really, really, really filthy rich people.
posted by grouse at 5:07 AM on August 28, 2007

A more affordable option.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:50 AM on August 28, 2007

I know, if I have to ask I can't afford it, but I wonder how much these "condos" are likely to run. I just want to know how many years I'll have to eat bologna-on-hand for lunch.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:00 AM on August 28, 2007

Has this ship not been built yet, or something? It seems as if all of the photos in the brochure are modeled images, rather than real life photos. The shots that include people have tell-tale bad lighting mixes on the inserts and sometimes a lack of shadows.
posted by thanotopsis at 7:29 AM on August 28, 2007

The thing I find most interesting about the ideas of these floating condos is the determination of the Itinerary. The fine print on the itinerary page notes that the first couple of years are mapped out and subject to change based on weather and such, but then the itinerary will be left to the determination of the residents.

Imagine your condo association meeting when you discuss what color to repaint the trim in the lobby. Now imagine your condo association meeting if you were deciding exactly where to pick up and move your building to.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:35 AM on August 28, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

So..., anybody gonna be living on this boat except rich old white men?

I suppose I could make friends with the staff...
posted by LordSludge at 8:40 AM on August 28, 2007

LordSludge, that was my thought too- the neighbors wouldn't be any fun. The filthy rich might be nice to visit, but I wouldn't want to live with them.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:12 AM on August 28, 2007

I know, if I have to ask I can't afford it, but I wonder how much these "condos" are likely to run. I just want to know how many years I'll have to eat bologna-on-hand for lunch.

According to this this site, $4-40 million per unit, then 2-3% of that price per year in maintenance fees.
posted by blind.wombat at 10:40 AM on August 28, 2007

That boat must be one of the best arguments for progressive taxation.

I think one of the ideas for this boat is to AVOID taxation...
posted by yoyo_nyc at 10:59 AM on August 28, 2007

But can you do bong hits on the fantail in international waters?
posted by neat-o at 11:56 AM on August 28, 2007

We've talked about something similar before.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:10 PM on August 28, 2007

Way to make the brochure text impossible to read. You just lost my $4-$40 million, suckers.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:01 PM on August 28, 2007

Oh yes, you can at least charter your own private railcar. Saw one of them at Grand Central once, just parked by itself at one of the regular platforms. That's class.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:02 PM on August 28, 2007

Actually, it's even classier, considering that the things are supposed to travel on the back of Amtrak trains and Amtrak doesn't even go to Grand Central. Penn Station is the opposite of class.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:07 PM on August 28, 2007

Oh, wow- thanks, TheOnlyCoolTim!
posted by oneirodynia at 3:19 PM on August 28, 2007

Impressive.

I have to think that being the wait staff on this ship has to be one of the worst jobs going...
posted by fluffycreature at 6:01 PM on August 28, 2007

And then Norwalk Virus will rip through the ship and lay 'em all to (in?) waste.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:17 PM on August 28, 2007