Body parts
September 1, 2007 8:57 PM   Subscribe

News stories about washed up body parts are quite rare, which makes the latest case off Vancouver even more unusual.
posted by Neiltupper (61 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
"I-I just got so damn sick of watching him walk around in a circle all day!"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:03 PM on September 1, 2007 [5 favorites]


Man, I can't dance either.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:06 PM on September 1, 2007


"There were five different shoes on the beach and for some reason she picked up that one, untied the laces, turned the sock inside out and found the foot."

WTF?. Five shoes wash up, one with a foot. A week later another foot washes up, also in a shoe. Both right feet, both size 12. It would make more sense if there'd been UFO sightings or something.

"My best guess is that they are from missing persons cases," he said.

It's good to see they put their best man on the case.
posted by doctor_negative at 9:08 PM on September 1, 2007 [5 favorites]


The poor guy.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:11 PM on September 1, 2007 [6 favorites]


They should be looking for a missing person called Eileen Clodhopper.
posted by Rumple at 9:12 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


'Finding one foot is like a million to one odds, but to find two is crazy' RCMP corporal's 'best guess is that they are from missing persons'

I guess that's why I never went into police work. It would never occur to me that those feet would come from missing people.
posted by RavinDave at 9:24 PM on September 1, 2007


a guy with two right feet apparently came to a bad end.
posted by bruce at 9:38 PM on September 1, 2007


No mystery, the sottish case is the handywork of border reivers and the Canadian is just wacky college kids with their body mod thingy. And they would have gotten away with it if not for Neiltupper and his damn dog.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:43 PM on September 1, 2007


"Two being found in such a short period of time is quite suspicious," said Cpl. Garry Cox

I'm sure with Cpl Garry on the case this will be wrapped up in no time...

LOLMOUNTIES
posted by geos at 9:45 PM on September 1, 2007


"The latest foot -- found still inside a sock -- was discovered by a Vancouver couple walking on a beach trail at the end of Stalker Road..."

hahaha, ah c'mon! that is just too damn weird.
posted by lapolla at 9:47 PM on September 1, 2007


News stories about washed up body parts are quite rare

Rare? the google search you inexplicably linked to lists "about 2,040,000 [results] for washed up body parts."

That's not rare.

It's disturbingly common.
posted by dersins at 9:55 PM on September 1, 2007


The first hooker I ever killed washed up on a beach.
posted by trondant at 9:57 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


"So what do we conclude from this pattern, Watson?"
"Sharks prefer left feet, eh, Holmes?"
"Nonsense: they clearly prefer left footwear."
posted by rob511 at 10:00 PM on September 1, 2007 [4 favorites]


The first hooker I ever killed washed up on a beach.

You're so full of it. We all know she's still in your closet.
posted by IronLizard at 10:20 PM on September 1, 2007


I think sex had something to do with this.
Body parts are most frequently washed up after sex.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:23 PM on September 1, 2007 [3 favorites]


Ever since we went to metric, I haven't had much use for feet either, right or wrong.
posted by salishsea at 10:31 PM on September 1, 2007 [3 favorites]


lol@inspector stephen stiff from the first link.
posted by bruce at 10:35 PM on September 1, 2007


Vancouver, being a port city, has quite the organized crime presence. There's the Russian Mafia, the Vietnamese drug cartels, and many other 'business partners' from all around the Pacific Rim. Rumor has it that shipping containers come in filled with heroin, and leave filled with stolen luxury cars. I believe it.

My guess is that these feet belonged to people who had... debts.
posted by anthill at 10:44 PM on September 1, 2007


Obviously the work of a small boy with an overactive imagination.
posted by maryh at 11:18 PM on September 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


Anthill, my guess is that the foot(s) belong to those guys who went missing after a float plane crash several months ago, or the guy who tried to swim back to Campbell River after a party on Quadra Island at the beginning of the summer.

And I hear you - the Port of Vancouver is a mess.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:23 PM on September 1, 2007


It's probably some damn ARG promotion for the upcoming season.

But, still, what embarassing things the Mounties have been saying. Tsk!
posted by five fresh fish at 11:36 PM on September 1, 2007


Sometimes I use the sink in the kitchen when I want to wash up. Usually body parts are involved. In extreme cases, dishes.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:37 PM on September 1, 2007


Maybe one of these is related to that recent case in Japan of the man who rode his motorcycle for about two kilometers without realizing his right leg had been cut off.
posted by woodblock100 at 11:47 PM on September 1, 2007


THE SEVERED FOOT IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE SHOE!!!
posted by dirigibleman at 11:56 PM on September 1, 2007 [4 favorites]


Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters
posted by Poolio at 12:07 AM on September 2, 2007


A visit to the seaside is hard enough for some people.
posted by nickyskye at 12:41 AM on September 2, 2007


Actually, the 2km ride thing makes sense in the context of him hauling as at 150kmh+ speeds. He'd go that far in less than a minute. A tricky task when one is hemorrhaging.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:52 AM on September 2, 2007


hauling as at 150kmh+ speeds

Doesn't seem like that's what was going on. It was a bunch of middle aged men on touring bikes - not the type that would be burning up the road. Another report said he was "unaware of the loss of his leg despite the acute pain he experienced from the impact." I imagine he just kept riding so as not to 'lose face' with the other guys in the group ...
posted by woodblock100 at 1:18 AM on September 2, 2007


where's dexter when you need him
posted by baker dave at 2:09 AM on September 2, 2007


A 12-year-old girl from Washington state found the first foot ... "There were five different shoes on the beach and for some reason she picked up that one, untied the laces, turned the sock inside out and found the foot."

Therapy?
posted by Jilder at 2:10 AM on September 2, 2007


150kmh+ speeds

150kph is only 93mph. On a large modern bike that is just tootling along.
posted by Joeforking at 2:16 AM on September 2, 2007


Hang on a second. I think I know what this is all about. They put a right foot in, they pulled a right foot out, they put a right foot in...

Did these feet seem... shaken in any way?
posted by pracowity at 3:49 AM on September 2, 2007 [14 favorites]


There's the Russian Mafia, the Vietnamese drug cartels, and many other 'business partners' from all around the Pacific Rim.

Or it could be one mastermind working alone. You know, sort of an... arch villain
posted by hal9k at 4:09 AM on September 2, 2007 [3 favorites]


Die in Vancouver and your sole does not go to heaven.

Mystery widens. Police, victims defeated.

Must stop typing.
posted by hal9k at 4:13 AM on September 2, 2007 [4 favorites]


Its like that old saying.

I used to laugh at a man because he had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

And then I laughed at him instead.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:49 AM on September 2, 2007


Most of my body parts are washed-up.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:52 AM on September 2, 2007


Or it could be one mastermind working alone.... Sawney Bean
posted by mattoxic at 5:26 AM on September 2, 2007


Joeforking writes "150kph is only 93mph. On a large modern bike that is just tootling along."

If you adjust for Japanese speed limits, that's the equivalent of going (punches some keys on calculator) approximately 1,000,000 mph in America.
posted by Bugbread at 5:43 AM on September 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Joeforking writes "150kph is only 93mph. On a large modern bike that is just tootling along."

If you adjust for Japanese speed limits, that's the equivalent of going (punches some keys on calculator) approximately 1,000,000 mph in America.


You're off by a foot.
posted by hal9k at 6:10 AM on September 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


I imagine he just kept riding so as not to 'lose face' with the other guys in the group ...

But the problem wasn't losing face, it was losing legs!
posted by eriko at 7:24 AM on September 2, 2007


Clearly they are recasting the movie My Left Foot and these are suicides that didn't get the part
posted by cccorlew at 7:30 AM on September 2, 2007


Is this viral marketing?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:51 AM on September 2, 2007


Maybe it's a leftover from the last election in Canada, and these guys didn't make the ballot. They intended to throw their hat in the ring, and misunderstood.
posted by Eekacat at 8:01 AM on September 2, 2007


Liver Eating johnson
posted by Artw at 8:48 AM on September 2, 2007


Awash in feet.
posted by phoque at 9:19 AM on September 2, 2007


A washed up feat.
posted by phoque at 9:25 AM on September 2, 2007


Toeing the line between hilarious and offensive.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:42 AM on September 2, 2007


"I thought it would be like CSI, but it was anticlimactic."

WHY CAN'T THINGS BE JUST LIKE TV
posted by Koko at 12:15 PM on September 2, 2007


The victim was seen last fall, fleeing on foot.
posted by hal9k at 3:36 PM on September 2, 2007


I am getting such a kick out of this thread!
posted by ZachsMind at 3:38 PM on September 2, 2007


I wonder if ex-Fisheries Minister Brian Tobin had anything to do with this...
posted by five fresh fish at 3:56 PM on September 2, 2007


I am getting such a kick out of this thread!

Calling all Mefites ... this thread is a chance to get 'footloose and fancy free'!
posted by woodblock100 at 4:24 PM on September 2, 2007


I'd chime in but I'm liable to stick my foot in my mouth.
posted by randomstriker at 5:11 PM on September 2, 2007


Well, we've all got one foot in the grave, I reckon.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:12 PM on September 2, 2007


Put a sock over it.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:36 PM on September 2, 2007


With flip flops on? I don't think so.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:02 PM on September 2, 2007


Rare? the google search you inexplicably linked to lists "about 2,040,000 [results] for washed up body parts."

OK. I have to admit to a bit of sloppy work here. I should have linked to a search for the the four word phrase for which there are exactly five references. However, in my defense, it's quite clear from the original Google link that the phrase has a very short list of of such events, which is why I linked to it in the first place. I didn't find it so inexplicable.
posted by Neiltupper at 6:41 PM on September 2, 2007


I thought the article said two right feet found on George Strait. The man can play country music, but just can't dance.
posted by vagabond at 11:49 PM on September 2, 2007


A foot fleet in the offing.
posted by phoque at 5:03 AM on September 3, 2007


Offings afoot.
posted by phoque at 5:08 AM on September 3, 2007


This story is missing sinister elements.
posted by Neiltupper at 10:39 AM on September 3, 2007


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