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These ain't no slashies, folks... These are the pure breeds.
September 5, 2007 2:14 PM   Subscribe


 
Ick. So self-indulgent and blind.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:22 PM on September 5, 2007


Uh, if those are actual people uploading their drama-angle-portraits, this site is extremely useful as a catalog of idiotic self-lovin'.

Needs more Magnum, tho.
posted by krippledkonscious at 2:25 PM on September 5, 2007


oh shit, did they actually show a shot of the creative director polishing his awards?! oh fuck that's funny.

provided this is not a hoax, their company does seem to do some skilled work, but I'm HEAVILY leaning toward this being a joke, possibly by a group of people within the digitalkitchen company who thought no one else was going to see this site.
posted by shmegegge at 2:27 PM on September 5, 2007


I found these quite funny. Particularly Gunther.

... but maybe that's b/c I like to make fun of designers.

"Design can change the world. I changed it once, by adding ascenders and descenders to the letters that didn't previously have them."

Very well done. And nice design. ;p
posted by mrgrimm at 2:29 PM on September 5, 2007


They misspelled "WORLD," ffs.
posted by desjardins at 2:29 PM on September 5, 2007


Hilarious.
"Emotion graphics."
This needs to be a sit-com.
posted by bstreep at 2:29 PM on September 5, 2007


Yeah, thinking twice about it it must be an in-joke rather than serious promotion.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:29 PM on September 5, 2007


Should I add the parody tag now? ;)
posted by Gervais Brooke-Hamster at 2:31 PM on September 5, 2007


Um, I wouldn't call it a "hoax." They make no attempt to pretend that it's a real agency.

Did you see the credits? You know, where Veronica is a woman named Susan, etc.

It's most obviously a performance piece/satire.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:31 PM on September 5, 2007


I love it. Rotating pull-quote on the front page, and almost every one contains a typo.

"I love design but what i really want to due is direct"
"We are problem solvrs"
"You gotta be able to see passed it, or see through it"
"Hottness is always the tiebreaker"
"Is my work beutiful, because I'm beutiful?"
"I'm not a designer, I'm a artist"
"Perfect people make perfct design"

Perfct, indeed.
posted by adamrice at 2:33 PM on September 5, 2007


They misspelled "WORLD," ffs.

"Traditional spelling is Fascist and often results in poor kerning."

At least that's what Schnauss says.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:33 PM on September 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


ah, no, I did not see the credits. I, in fact, had to watch the thing without audio because I'm at work. whoops.
posted by shmegegge at 2:42 PM on September 5, 2007


also, "I edit standing up. It gives me the freedom to make the hard cuts" almost had me fall out of my chair at work.
posted by shmegegge at 2:44 PM on September 5, 2007


You have to be beautiful to create something beautiful?

That does explain Bob Dylan, I guess.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:46 PM on September 5, 2007


Now that's parody.

Fantastic.
posted by C.Batt at 2:53 PM on September 5, 2007


Designer / Idiots

Designer is such an overused word these days. As a creative person in almost any industrie you always design / create something. So doing a design is only a synonym for being creative ...

But it's the same orwellian sickness as the 'manager' sticker since the 80's. You hardly meet anyone in business that is not a manager of some sort (apart from all the 'designers').

Back to our designers: it's also that overwhelming 'form over content' shift we've experienced since digital design (starting with desktop publishing) has become mainstream.

So the new dogma is: if it looks good it must have some substance. And with Photoshop, Illustrator, After Effects, Final Cu(n)t etc. you can make any shit look good.

Most of all: almost everything you see in advertising, music or most TV / movies is totally virtual. Hardly anything these days is 'the real thing' - it's all some recreated or touched up form of reality ... one giant wankfest for 'designers' to substitute their vision and the desires of the evil marketing people to totally brainwash us.

Amen.
posted by homodigitalis at 2:57 PM on September 5, 2007


It's all terribly tongue in cheek:
    "Inspiration inspires me. I get most of my ideas from real life - the runways in Milan, the Paris shows, Hermes in New York. And believe me, nothing is more "real" than fashion. Have you ever tried to change clothes seven times in an hour? Or do six lines of coke and stare at flashbulbs for two hours. It's way more "street" than "runway". I put all of that angst, anorexia, and jet lag into my work as a designer."
posted by gummi at 3:00 PM on September 5, 2007


You know what we all need? ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCINOS!
posted by spec80 at 3:13 PM on September 5, 2007


spec80 writes 'You know what we all need? ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCINOS!'

Yeah, if does owe more than a little to Derek & Co.
posted by jack_mo at 3:28 PM on September 5, 2007


Oh my goodness. They were so beautiful they crashed my browser.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:59 PM on September 5, 2007


"I'm The Original Pixel Fucker, meaning that I came up with that phrase"

Love it. Reminds me of the last show Chris Morris Did - Nathan Barley.
posted by twistedonion at 4:36 PM on September 5, 2007


Yes - trashbat.co.ck was fantastic - better than this by a factor of 10 zillion.

Irony, seemingly, is poorly executed and ultimately lost on most Americans.
posted by strawberryviagra at 4:50 PM on September 5, 2007


"Designer / Idiots

Designer is such an overused word these days...

Amen"


heh, you're taking the piss right out of yourself as well right?

Or is that a typo on your profile - Designer & Writer / Digital Dadaist, Art Lover and 21st century Dude.?
posted by twistedonion at 5:00 PM on September 5, 2007


homodigitalis:
Designer is such an overused word these days.

This is a useful thing. When you're filling out form, or being accosted by some salesman, or whatever, and they want to know your occupation but you don't really care to be forthcoming, you just say "designer", and you have given them zero useful information, while still answering their question.
posted by -harlequin- at 5:05 PM on September 5, 2007


@twistedonion: "heh, you're taking the piss right out of yourself as well right?"

Yep.

It's all about image baby!
posted by homodigitalis at 5:09 PM on September 5, 2007


While we're griping about designers. Can we please have the world's designers focus less on the typefaces of their blogs and more on getting some actual real products to shelf that DON'T SUCK!

I swear, retail therapy these days is just an exercise in frustration! :)
posted by -harlequin- at 5:19 PM on September 5, 2007


I'm sorry, but What the Fuck Was That?? And DON'T EVEN try to relate this to Dylan!
posted by wafaa at 5:47 PM on September 5, 2007


"Saul Bass + Heidi Klum"

I think I'm in love.
posted by ColdChef at 6:54 PM on September 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


"He was all like, 'say what?' and I was like 'say yeah' and the rest was history"

~ random dude on pixelfucking
posted by arcticwoman at 8:19 PM on September 5, 2007


I thought it was hilarious. And I almost thought it was real but then thought better. As for Digital Kitchen, well they've only done some of the coolest opening sequences for TV shows, like 6 Feet Under and House.


If you prefer your humor a little less subtle, Creative Department Douchebag will probably make you laugh.
posted by O9scar at 9:42 PM on September 5, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Sometimes I wonder... is my work beautiful because I'm beautiful?"

Tell me about it! I know I say that to myself every single damn day. Seriously, this had me laughing for about a half an hour. So much great stuff!

"Designers can change the world. I changed it once. By adding ascenders and descenders to letters that didn't previously have them."

:)
posted by miss lynnster at 10:46 PM on September 5, 2007


Dear Schnauss, Many of your quotes having spelling mistakes, I'm not sure if it's meant to be like that or not... - Fox

One Designer/Slash/Model's mistake is another Designer/Slash/Model's subconscious ingenuity. Traditional spelling is Fascist and often results in poor kerning. Never self-restrict. Letters are mere shapes like trees or poodles. If the poodle looks better in the tree than beside it then so be it...

Damn straight!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:55 PM on September 5, 2007


I am enjoying this parody way too much. Tomorrow I will force three really fun designers in my client's office to watch this because they will LOVE it. Without question, it will be a hit. And I can see it now, I predict the biggest quote that will catch on and will be repeated endlessly in the art department starting tomorrow will be thanks to Fernando:

"That's it. This conversation is devoid of meaning. I'm through talking."

Perfect.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:07 PM on September 5, 2007


When you're filling out form, or being accosted by some salesman, or whatever, and they want to know your occupation but you don't really care to be forthcoming, you just say "designer", and you have given them zero useful information

While in the middle of getting a safe deposit box set up at our bank, we were asked very personal questions about our occupations and whatnot, and told by the banker asking the questions that it was new laws to combat terrorism by tracking where the money comes from. Mind you, we weren't asked for any proof, but difficulties arose when my wife tried to communicate her self-employed status -- this person wanted low-level details about what she did when self-employed.

When she walked off to file something, we discussed it and decided that if something like this ever came up again -- that is, if she was asked her occupation when it seemed inappropriate for that question to be asked -- she would respond "Bird Detailer." If pressed, she would say "You know, I detail birds. For bird shows. Like dog shows. But with birds. Bird Detailer."

Sadly, the situation has yet to repeat itself.
posted by davejay at 11:59 PM on September 5, 2007


Annoying female voice with a German accent: "I am not a designer .. I'm an artist"

..artist? my arse.
posted by Hollow_MarkeD at 4:47 AM on September 6, 2007


They seem to have tapped into the je ne sais quoi that made the "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" shampoo commercial so teeth-gratingly annoying.

When you're filling out form, or being accosted by some salesman, or whatever, and they want to know your occupation but you don't really care to be forthcoming, you just say "designer"...

From now on, I'm going to use "Pixelfucker Emeritus".
posted by Enron Hubbard at 6:20 AM on September 6, 2007


I gave them my face without hesitation.
posted by squalor at 7:48 AM on September 6, 2007


haha You guys know it's a joke right?

Just checking...

This site was made by an actually good design company:
http://www.d-kitchen.com/

Look for their Logos strewn about.
posted by countzen at 3:30 PM on September 6, 2007


"We are problem solvrs"

That's no typo. That's last year's next year's next big site.
posted by pompomtom at 4:44 PM on September 6, 2007


Cracks me up that some people are taking it so seriously. There is not a single thing in there that isn't tongue in uber-photogenic cheek.

But whatever. This thread is devoid of meaning. I'm through posting now.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:16 PM on September 7, 2007


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