Sexy Mormon Men
September 13, 2007 6:56 PM   Subscribe

Sexy Mormon Men -- "For the first time ever, twelve of the hottest and hunkiest former Mormon Missionaries have dared to pose bare-chested in the first-ever Mormons Exposed calendar." They're trying to "help get rid of stereotypes." Previously mentioned
posted by ericb (82 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Why not have them pose in the secret underwear instead?
posted by jonmc at 6:58 PM on September 13, 2007 [13 favorites]


‘Men on a Mission' calendar controversial among Mormons.

Beefcake calendar exposes Mormon missionaries.
posted by ericb at 6:59 PM on September 13, 2007


How many more shirtless republicans must we endure? Get back to tap dancing in the can.
posted by jsavimbi at 7:00 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


To echo Jonmc, if they aren't in the secret undies they aren't really Mormon.
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:07 PM on September 13, 2007


Oh great, another LOLXXXTIANS post.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:08 PM on September 13, 2007 [4 favorites]


I ordered a copy this past weekend.

I really did.
posted by lampoil at 7:09 PM on September 13, 2007


Twelve of the hottest Mormon men....and their combined 43 wives.
posted by DU at 7:10 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Lampoil! Dangit! See, it's people like you that make people like that create things like this -- cuz they know someone like you is gonna send someone like them money, and then the rest of us have to put up with this stupidity and make fun of it! How dare you!

I bet you respond to the occasional spam email too and buy stuff from them. Don't ya! Huh? Huh? It only takes one in a million to make it worth a spammer's while. Cut it out!

"NO MORE SOUP FOR YOU!"
posted by ZachsMind at 7:13 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Mysterious veil? I have never heard anyone use this term to describe their perception of Mormon missionaries.
posted by tellurian at 7:14 PM on September 13, 2007


And.... they are obedience trained!
posted by hortense at 7:14 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


LOL JABULON BEEFCAKE
posted by 2sheets at 7:16 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


It's worth it.
posted by lampoil at 7:16 PM on September 13, 2007


cannot wait for, The Sisters Edition.
posted by hortense at 7:17 PM on September 13, 2007


Oh great, another LOLXXXTIANS post.

Next up - 'Sexy Men of the Church of Scientology.'
posted by ericb at 7:18 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Trying to get rid of stereotypes? Not the "all mormons are hairless whiteboys" one, I guess.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:20 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


jonmc: because the calendar is supposed to be sexy.
posted by rossmik at 7:26 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I don't understand why I should care. Is this something that I need to be a closeted mormon to understand?
posted by a robot made out of meat at 7:28 PM on September 13, 2007


How can you even begin to compare Mormonism with Scientology? L Ron Hubbard was a manipulative barbituate addict with delusions of deity, whereas Joseph Smith was a hero blessed by Jesus himself with the power of Hat-Based Translation. Flagged as offensive.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:32 PM on September 13, 2007 [14 favorites]


And al of them affectionately called "Mitt" by their friends.
posted by three blind mice at 7:35 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I just love a man in uniform, and somehow, Mormons count (and I'm a Protestant!). I love seeing them get on the subway- white short-sleeved shirts, backpacks, name tags, looking all scrawny and pale. I know that I could completely devour them. So hot.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:40 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


Just don't nobody let Them get wind of this. I'll never hear the end of it.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:41 PM on September 13, 2007


What? No Ken Jennings?
posted by wendell at 7:43 PM on September 13, 2007


the power of Hat-Based Translation

What What What?
posted by amberglow at 7:49 PM on September 13, 2007


Those are the sexiest Mormon men they could find? Meh.
posted by ursus_comiter at 7:52 PM on September 13, 2007


I'd marry a dozen of them!
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:52 PM on September 13, 2007


KJ is way more my cup of tea. What a cutie.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:53 PM on September 13, 2007


(i don't remember hat-based translation in the SouthPark ep that told the whole story)
posted by amberglow at 7:54 PM on September 13, 2007


Those are the sexiest Mormon men they could find? Meh.

I'm with you. There are hot ex-Mormons here in NY--much hotter than these guys. (will they get excommunicated or anything? like that Julie on Real World?)
posted by amberglow at 7:55 PM on September 13, 2007


maybe Hot Amish Guys would work? (they could do it during that year off thing they get, and they already dress well and have good bodies from the farming and stuff) ; >
posted by amberglow at 7:58 PM on September 13, 2007


Mormonsexposed.com, following in the fine tradition of lumbermansexchange.com (via archive.org) and penisland.net
posted by zippy at 7:58 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


(i don't remember hat-based translation in the SouthPark ep that told the whole story)

All About Mormons -- South Park.
posted by ericb at 7:58 PM on September 13, 2007


HA! I totally went to high school with one of those guys. Hilarious.
posted by doift at 7:59 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oops --- 'South Park' link was meant to go to this video clip.
posted by ericb at 8:01 PM on September 13, 2007


Tried to view the video and my browser crashed. Think it's a sign I'm going to hell.
posted by Soliloquy at 8:05 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Next up - 'Sexy Men of the Church of Scientology.'

...kissing other sexy men of the church of scientology at the foot of their airplane...
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:08 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


I think I could go for hot Amish guys. At least they wouldn't wax their chests.
posted by ursus_comiter at 8:10 PM on September 13, 2007


Amish guys are a bundle of fun
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:12 PM on September 13, 2007


maybe Hot Amish Guys would work?

Unlike the Mormons and the Scientologists, the Amish in my experience and reading actually seem to have somewhat of a straight head on about their alternative religious and societal views. Not that everything they do is great, but it's more of a thoughtful philosophical difference combined with a lot of tradition than a batshit insane difference from mainstream society.

They do, however, tend to have a slight thing against getting photographed.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 8:16 PM on September 13, 2007


maybe Hot Amish Guys would work? (they could do it during that year off thing they get, and they already dress well and have good bodies from the farming and stuff) ; >

I guess they raise more than your barn, huh?
posted by jonmc at 8:16 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


Amish guys are a bundle of fun.

Especially during rumspringa.*
posted by ericb at 8:17 PM on September 13, 2007


Devil's Playground -- the documentary on the Amish rite-of-passage, "Rumspinga."
posted by ericb at 8:22 PM on September 13, 2007


Err -- *Rumspringa*
posted by ericb at 8:24 PM on September 13, 2007


it's a good concept but it needs to be developed -- what about Mormon gay porn? The Fist of Mormon, The Latter Day Bears -- the movie titles just write themselves. I'm sure there's a fetish out there for it, there must be.
posted by matteo at 8:30 PM on September 13, 2007


The Latter Day Bears

No, the Latter-Day Taints.
posted by jonmc at 8:31 PM on September 13, 2007 [5 favorites]


Uh, I don't think they're marketing calendars to the demographic that they think they are marketing them to.

. . . Not that there is anything wrong with that.
posted by isopraxis at 8:48 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I am for this sexy morm on men, whatever that describes. Bring it on, boys!
posted by Peter H at 8:55 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Get your morm on.
posted by Peter H at 8:55 PM on September 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


What's this revival tent doing in my trousers?
posted by hermitosis at 9:04 PM on September 13, 2007 [4 favorites]


Don't talk to the snake, hermitosis.
posted by Peter H at 9:05 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Don't worry, I know how to get the venom out.
posted by hermitosis at 9:06 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Ha-Ha. Now you're just talking in tongues! (could not resist, apologies)
posted by Peter H at 9:08 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


What's this revival tent doing in my trousers?
the trouser trout tango
posted by hortense at 9:09 PM on September 13, 2007


what about Mormon gay porn? The Fist of Mormon, The Latter Day Bears -- the movie titles just write themselves. I'm sure there's a fetish out there for it, there must be.</i

Rule 34.

posted by spaceman_spiff at 9:15 PM on September 13, 2007


...kissing other sexy men of the church of scientology at the foot of their airplane... ; >
posted by amberglow at 9:20 PM on September 13, 2007


Every time one of those wholesome, earnest Mormons stops me on the street and tries to convert me, I just want to rip the clothes right off his body. This calendar just goes to show that these people know their target audience and are prepared to take negotiations to the next level.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 9:35 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bring 'em young!
posted by rob511 at 10:12 PM on September 13, 2007 [4 favorites]


They are in no position to be missionaries.
posted by maxwelton at 10:43 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, but I still prefer the Vatican's Calendario Romano, myself. I mean really... like I'd choose any of these goofy, garment-wearing, teatotaling little boys over this & this? Puh-leeease.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:20 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


Flirt to convert!
posted by betweenthebars at 12:06 AM on September 14, 2007


Nobody has commented on the fact that the "I Heart Mormon Boys" t-shirt is available in mens' sizes.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 12:29 AM on September 14, 2007 [3 favorites]


Lots of nice comments. I'm struck speechless. I just might buy the calender, assuming they deliver overseas. Might be interesting to have the calender hanging in sight when a real missionary drops by.
posted by Goofyy at 3:30 AM on September 14, 2007


Oh, on closer look, the actual photos shown are quite boring. Oh well, it was a great idea.
posted by Goofyy at 3:33 AM on September 14, 2007


Where's JekPorkins when we need him the most?
posted by jscott at 3:46 AM on September 14, 2007


Glad to see Mormonism is bringing sexy back.
posted by Deep Dish at 8:24 AM on September 14, 2007


Oh my lord, miss lynnster - the priest in that first 'this' link is HOT. Like, fanning myself-hot. I'm going straight to hell. (and I don't even believe in hell! or Catholicism!)
posted by widdershins at 9:49 AM on September 14, 2007


Twelve of the hottest Mormon men....and their combined 43 wives.

When are we finally going to see the exposes about the rampant lesbianism among the multiple wives-- when!?
posted by jamjam at 9:52 AM on September 14, 2007


I'm sorry, but I still prefer the Vatican's Calendario Romano, myself. I mean really... like I'd choose any of these goofy, garment-wearing, teatotaling little boys over this & this? Puh-leeease.

Priests are hot, but tragic--they're not allowed to have sex at all--not even Missionary-style. ; >
posted by amberglow at 10:05 AM on September 14, 2007


(not that it stops the ones i know tho)
posted by amberglow at 10:05 AM on September 14, 2007


I'm with miss lynnster. I have the priests of Calendario Romano in my office with me right now (sadly, not literally) and I think he might even have to leap forward into 2008. I can't decide if it's the combination of whitebread american evangelicals that is a turn-off or each of those qualities separately.
posted by marylynn at 10:07 AM on September 14, 2007


well, the Italians in the priest calendar don't have to try--they just are hot guys--whether they were priests or not. The Mormons are trying too hard to prove something.
posted by amberglow at 10:10 AM on September 14, 2007


Actually, these men were just trying to escape the Raggamoffyns.
posted by honest knave at 10:15 AM on September 14, 2007


Needs more tits.
posted by trondant at 11:01 AM on September 14, 2007


This is a serious question: How many people do Mormon missionaries convert on average per year abroad?

(Bonus points for a breakup by continent.)
posted by sour cream at 11:47 AM on September 14, 2007


Miss lynnster, thank you for alerting me to that lovely calendar. Ah, the beauty. (And I don't think the Calendario has been posted to the blue, has it? I searched and couldn't find it. It'd be a great FPP.)

amberglow wrote: Priests are hot, but tragic--they're not allowed to have sex at all.

I have to say, hot + tragically celibate really works.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:52 AM on September 14, 2007


I actually discovered it while I was traveling last year. It was displayed on a souvenir stand right next to this.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:18 PM on September 14, 2007


And hurdy gurdy girl? I totally agree with you. :)
posted by miss lynnster at 1:19 PM on September 14, 2007


Me three.
posted by GrammarMoses at 6:06 PM on September 14, 2007


amberglow: "hat-based translation" refers to the fact that before starting the church, Smith reportedly used a "seer stone" placed inside his hat to make predictions and find lost objects. (I don't remember if it was in the SP episode).

it's LOLMORMONS not XTIANS, as technically, Mormons aren't considered part of the Christian religion.

Has someone sent this link to Dooce by the way? She'd dig it.
posted by emjaybee at 9:18 PM on September 14, 2007 [1 favorite]


Where's the Islamic pin-up calendar.
posted by Xere at 3:35 AM on September 15, 2007


it's LOLMORMONS not XTIANS, as technically, Mormons aren't considered part of the Christian religion.

"Technically?" Every religious studies professor I've ever heard speak on the subject has included Mormonism to fall under the vast Christian umbrella. If you're looking at it objectively, of course they're Christians.

The only people who make a point of excluding Mormons from the "Christian" label are some Protestants who also usually say the same of Catholics. Determining a strictly technical classification of the different sects of the world's religions isn't really their motivation there. It's just their way of saying they've got it right and the others don't. Since almost everyone thinks that, it's not really a great way to come to a reliable conclusion.

And so I say that it is both LOLMORMONS and LOLXIANS. Double the pleasure.
posted by lampoil at 5:34 AM on September 15, 2007


Nuns Having Fun 2008 Calendar [adversaria]
posted by tellurian at 8:01 PM on September 16, 2007


That Nuns Having Fun calendar is cute!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:20 PM on September 17, 2007


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