Skip

Greg Nog was a Host at the Olive Garden
September 25, 2007 10:10 AM   Subscribe

Greg Nog was a Host at the Olive Garden. He has also drawn several other cartoons, and made some other stuff which you may like as well.

For the folks who don't customarily habitually obsessively read MetaTalk. Greg Nog is, of course, MeFi's own Greg Nog.
posted by yhbc (99 comments total) 49 users marked this as a favorite

 
After reading most of them I decided they were just too good not to share with everyone.
posted by yhbc at 10:13 AM on September 25, 2007


God, those are great - thanks!
posted by tristeza at 10:18 AM on September 25, 2007


These are really well done.
posted by drezdn at 10:20 AM on September 25, 2007


Man, those OG strips sum up my time at RT pretty accurately.

Coaster tosses and pancake denial. Yeah, good times.
posted by gummi at 10:26 AM on September 25, 2007


This one is my favorite.
posted by interrobang at 10:27 AM on September 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


The OG strips made my morning.
posted by iconomy at 10:29 AM on September 25, 2007


God damn, I remember the last time I went to Olive Garden.

I’d just met a woman, via friends, and we were in that stage of trying to figure out if we wanted to date, or just, you know, be friends. We were out Christmas shopping—seemed like a fun thing to do, a good way to get to know someone, right? We were hitting a bunch of small shops in an area I was very familiar with, but that she hadn’t been to before. She suggested dinner. Since I knew the area, I began to espouse the amazing ethnic diversity of the place, the fact that there was a fantastic Peruvian place across the street, and the DC-metro area’s best Thai a block away, or, hey, maybe just a quick bowl of Pho, or, since we’re going up the street later, maybe that fantastic Vietnamese place? She interrupted me with “Geez, I said I was hungry. You should’ve just asked me what I wanted.”

She wanted the Olive Garden.

We stayed friends, at least.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:31 AM on September 25, 2007 [14 favorites]


Great post and great comics. Valentines of Unfulfillment pure Genius! You have made my day!
posted by HappyHippo at 10:36 AM on September 25, 2007


Really quite lovely.
posted by Curry at 10:38 AM on September 25, 2007


The more I read the hilariouser they are. Also, love the drawing style.
posted by DU at 10:38 AM on September 25, 2007


"Enchanted piece of lettuce" will now be a permanent part of my lexicon.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:41 AM on September 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


The OG strips made my morning too. Well, those and the chicken hat.

Thanks for sharing!
posted by Kloryne at 10:42 AM on September 25, 2007


True story, once upon a time, these strips made me have an internet crush on Greg.
posted by piratebowling at 10:48 AM on September 25, 2007 [3 favorites]


The Olive Garden strips are beautiful. Makes me want to make a comic about my job as a line cook at an OG knock-off.
posted by bookish at 10:54 AM on September 25, 2007


Well, that was awesome.
posted by odinsdream at 10:59 AM on September 25, 2007




Fantastic! Thanks!!!
posted by agregoli at 11:04 AM on September 25, 2007


I've always wondered what Olive gardens are like as we don't have any in the UK and none of my American friends have seen fit to take me to one when I visit. Are they awful? Or are they sort of OK really. I'm intrigued as we don't really have this sort of chain restaurant here (although I'm sure we will soon).
posted by rhymer at 11:07 AM on September 25, 2007


Comic is rather good, BTW.
posted by rhymer at 11:08 AM on September 25, 2007


Those are hilarious. Thanks yhbc, and Greg Nog, you rock.
posted by danb at 11:10 AM on September 25, 2007


Ugh I was a hostess at California Pizza Kitchen. Those comics make me laugh and cry.
posted by spec80 at 11:13 AM on September 25, 2007


Oh my. My very own "MeFi's own"? SUCK IT, WOZNIAK.

I guess I oughtta draw some more comics now.
posted by Greg Nog at 11:19 AM on September 25, 2007 [7 favorites]


Metafilter: When you're here, you're family. A dysfunctional family of surly drunks with various weeping sores and caustic flatulence... and now you're part of it.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:28 AM on September 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


I've been here before.

*shudder*

Great stuff, Greg Nog.
posted by brundlefly at 11:29 AM on September 25, 2007


These are great; my appreciation for the comics talent pool here seems to know no bounds.
posted by COBRA! at 11:31 AM on September 25, 2007


Are they awful? Or are they sort of OK really.

This sentence somehow perfectly conveys my feelings on Olive Garden.

They ARE awful, especially if you've ever had, you know, Italian food, but they are sort of OK really. But awful. But ok.
posted by agregoli at 11:35 AM on September 25, 2007 [3 favorites]


Greg, these are delightful. Thank you, yhbc.
posted by jamaro at 11:36 AM on September 25, 2007


Those are fab Greg Nog.
posted by jamesonandwater at 11:37 AM on September 25, 2007


These are most excellent.

In other news, today I had a sandwich.
posted by JHarris at 11:39 AM on September 25, 2007


I've never been to an Olive Garden. Now I'm tempted.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 11:43 AM on September 25, 2007


Make more comics! Make some of these into a book! I'd totally buy it.

You're fantastic.
posted by agregoli at 11:51 AM on September 25, 2007


I agree with agregoli. The times I've been, my meal was sort of OK, really. Lots of garlic, which (of course) is a good thing, though my date referenced above didn't like it for that reason (yeah, she insisted on Olive Garden, but didn't like garlic). It didn't suck, I guess.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:52 AM on September 25, 2007


This comic is very-good, Greg-Nog. Well-done.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:53 AM on September 25, 2007


These are great! Thank you!
posted by mewithoutyou at 11:53 AM on September 25, 2007


Yeah, this is super cool, and the Plato one was quite awesome and a little sad.
posted by nasreddin at 11:55 AM on September 25, 2007


If Mr. Nog (Captain Nog? Admiral Nog? Doctor Nog? Mr. Gregory Nog, Esq.?) is reading still this... if you had an RSS feed that updated when there was a new comic, I'd subscribe to it.
posted by JHarris at 12:02 PM on September 25, 2007 [2 favorites]


These are really, really great and would benefit from a construction set, ala Red Meat.
posted by vito90 at 12:12 PM on September 25, 2007


She wanted the Olive Garden.

We stayed friends, at least.


Snerk. Who hasn't had one of those in his/her past?
posted by supercres at 12:16 PM on September 25, 2007


Meh. Those kind of sucked.

I'm just kidding. I thought they were great too. But the lack of snark is getting a little creepy in here.
posted by rusty at 12:16 PM on September 25, 2007


Also, oh my god, he is me.
posted by rusty at 12:20 PM on September 25, 2007


Bravo, sir. Well done. Brought the funny.

But the lack of snark is getting a little creepy in here.

NOTHACKIST
posted by davejay at 12:24 PM on September 25, 2007


I always assumed Olive Garden made their money on the backs of drug reps hauling trays of hyper-salted bread and pasta to doctor's lunches. It is the very definition of serviceable mediocrity. I have never been inside one but have been lulled into many twenty minute comas following a plate of their pasta and a PowerPoint show on heart failure.

And I generally hate these links to comics, but these were really funny, imo. Esp. Jesus mentioning traffic was a bitch.
posted by docpops at 12:26 PM on September 25, 2007


omigosh! my dream came true!
posted by cowbellemoo at 12:41 PM on September 25, 2007


True story, once upon a time, these strips made me have an internet crush on Greg.

Seconded, except for once upon a time sub in right now.
posted by Nabubrush at 12:45 PM on September 25, 2007


Oh, Greg Nog! I just now got it!
posted by Powerful Religious Baby at 12:54 PM on September 25, 2007


I like that clean, uncluttered drawing style
posted by Tuwa at 12:57 PM on September 25, 2007


Love it.

Personally, my hell was working in a one-hour photo place. But a restaurant would be worse. Most people don't understand the tiniest bit about making photos and will thus grudgingly respect you as the keeper of powerful black magic that you are, while everyone apparently assumes that their long experience of eating in restaurants qualifies them to shit on the waitstaff's performance.
posted by Kadin2048 at 12:58 PM on September 25, 2007


these made my day... despite having a decent night out last night, work was just miserable as hell today. So it's fun to read a strip that makes my job look better by comparison.

My wife's family is Italian-American, and Olive Garden is quite often a punch line to any joke involving food. Been there once and the best I can figure is they are to Italian food, what Taco Bell is to Mexican food.
posted by inthe80s at 1:02 PM on September 25, 2007


Okay, based on JHarris's request, I think I just made an RSS feed: Here we go.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:21 PM on September 25, 2007 [2 favorites]


These are great. I demand more.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:22 PM on September 25, 2007


Yay.

So many talented people here.

No wonder I spend a lot of time just reading.
posted by batmonkey at 1:38 PM on September 25, 2007


I can't believe I have an Internet crush on someone who worked at OLIVE GARDEN!!!
posted by astruc at 1:55 PM on September 25, 2007


18th? 42nd? that these are great. Thanks, Greg. And thanks, yhbc.
posted by maxwelton at 2:23 PM on September 25, 2007


Funny stuff — looks like a kinder, gentler Maus, but sounds like Calvin & Hobbes.

(BTW, OG's Lemon Cream Cake is pretty good.)
posted by cenoxo at 2:36 PM on September 25, 2007


<chant>greg nog greg nog greg nog greg nog</chant>
Good stuff.
posted by rouftop at 2:56 PM on September 25, 2007


Hee hee, love the sense of humor. You have resurrected my faith in crappy-job-based comics, Greg Nog.

PS: When I clicked on the feed link, it just took me to your website. Having never subscribed to an RSS feed, however, I wasn't sure what to expect anyway. Please ignore this if it reveals the soft white underbelly of my tech tardation.
posted by IcyJuly at 3:43 PM on September 25, 2007


Thanks for posting this yhbc! Greg Nog is right on!
posted by snsranch at 4:22 PM on September 25, 2007


Awesome.
posted by dreamsign at 4:24 PM on September 25, 2007


The last (and only) time I tried to eat at an Olive Garden, I ended up leaving because of the hostess. She was pleasant enough, but she kept saying "sat" instead of "seated" (as in, "your party is next on the list to be sat!"). Because I'm a pedantic jerk, I eventually had to just walk away hungry.
posted by obloquy at 4:51 PM on September 25, 2007 [1 favorite]


Greg Nog was a Host at the Olive Garden.

Really? Maybe he can explain why the canneloni always give me the trots.
posted by jonmc at 4:53 PM on September 25, 2007


The last one really resonated with me, having just made the transition from being a 4 year server/bartender to getting a pretty normal office job. I haven't been back to the last restaurant I worked at, but I imagine that when I leave that's what I'll be thinking...thank fucking everything that I don't work in the restaurant business anymore!

Favorite things to do as a host when completely bored:
  • Reversing the door greet/thank: when people come in, open door and say, "Thanks for stopping by, have a great day!" and when they leave, say, "Welcome to _____, how can I help you?
  • Following the phrase "Thank you" with the phrase "all your base are belong to us"
  • Laugh hysterically when they say, "Thanks, you too" after you assure them that all their bases are indeed belong to you
  • This one works great when somebody comes in alone and there's no wait. They ask for a table, so you ask them for their name. Then you say, "Ok, we'll get you right in." Then you look around blankly for about 30 seconds, then crane your head back and forth across the waiting area while saying, "[their name], party of 1, your table is ready!"
  • If people walk into your large, noisy restaurant and ask for a quiet table, lead them to a random table and whisper loudly, "This one hasn't said anything all day sir/maam!" OK, I only did that one once, and it got me in a lot of trouble
I could go on like this for days, me and one of the other hosts that I worked with frequently got into a contest of sorts to see who could perturb the customers the most without coming off as being blatantly offensive. If you work as a host, try some of this stuff (like Greg's electric fence), it will make your days bearable when nothing else will.

On preview this sounds pretty lame, but when you're doing the most boring, mindless, soul-searing, I-can't-believe-I'm-getting-paid-next-to-nothing-to-do-this job on the planet, small victories that make you feel like a human being are something you grasp like your last breath
posted by baphomet at 4:56 PM on September 25, 2007 [4 favorites]


These are good in that they seem to come from a real place, which is nice.
I just dont think they are particularly funny.

Seems like "Penny Arcade Funny", which is to say, not funny at all.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 5:36 PM on September 25, 2007


These comics are wonderful. I think I have a little Internet crush on Greg too.
posted by tepidmonkey at 5:45 PM on September 25, 2007


Terrific. I once applied for a job at an Olive Garden, but then I thought, "Nope. Can't do it." After reading these, I remain convinced that I made the right choice.
posted by adgnyc at 6:04 PM on September 25, 2007


Ah, thanks for the feed, it's all subscribe-ed now.

But could you tell me what's up with the pasta? We've been waiting for half an hour now.
posted by JHarris at 7:02 PM on September 25, 2007


I love those. They're not ha-ha funny, but they're true, which is better.

Also, "Fetch Me My Poking-stick" made me laugh out loud.
posted by empath at 7:10 PM on September 25, 2007


Not that anybody asked, but I can't decide if my favorite is the new tie one or the revolution one, because I can see myself in both situations.
posted by yhbc at 7:57 PM on September 25, 2007


You should make this woman into the next mefi t-shirt.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:25 PM on September 25, 2007


I LOL'd many times, which intrigued my wife significantly. She enjoyed them as well -- I'd declare Greg Nog my new hero, but I have a negative and rather dark outlook on life, so instead I declare Senor Cardgage to be my arch-nemesis. [furrows brow...]
posted by lordaych at 8:30 PM on September 25, 2007


I will join your new Supergroup to take down Senor Cardgage, Lordaych!

Penny Arcade is unfunny to you, SC. Their "fucking Mercedes" (as they would say) precludes you from making that judgment in an objective sense.
posted by cowbellemoo at 9:00 PM on September 25, 2007


Your comics are intriguing.

I chose to subscribe to your newsletter via livejournal.
posted by sugarfish at 9:05 PM on September 25, 2007


You should make this woman into the next mefi t-shirt.

Metafilter: Do y'all got it?
posted by dreamsign at 10:42 PM on September 25, 2007


No, no, no. Penny Arcade is funny to hardcore gamers and game developers, who, as has been scientifically and objectively established, have some of the least developed senses of humor on the planet, 48% of which consists of reiterating the latest Memes Of The Moment at the slightest, or often no provocation, 30% creating juvenile scatological puns, and the remaining 22% trying to convince everyone they have grown their facial hair "ironically", despite clear evidence to the contrary.

IAAGD
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:32 PM on September 25, 2007


Oh, and Greg Nog's comics are excellent.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:32 PM on September 25, 2007


Pocketbook! Great link, these are awesome.
posted by Locative at 1:16 AM on September 26, 2007


These comics are the awesome. Greg Nog, I particularly like how you render noses. The flexibility in detail of your Olive Garden comic noses have given me much to think about.

This has been my favorite one so far.
posted by Mister Cheese at 1:50 AM on September 26, 2007


Fun post yhbc.

Got up tonight because the full moon shone so brightly in my window I thought it was dawn and it was only 3am. Amazing moon, with a giant rainbow around it.

So I came to MetaFilter for a peek and looked at your cartoons. Laughed so loudly I thought I'd wake up my roommate.

Absolutely brilliant. I mean that. Great work GregNog. Seconding Mister Cheese's choice. This one.

Reminded me a little of waiter rant blog. But funnier.
posted by nickyskye at 2:05 AM on September 26, 2007


I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned it yet, but those are really good.

Me, I was a server at Louise's Trattoria for 2 years. I had to spend a month studying and memorizing stuff about Louise's food in order to pass their 3 page long server's test. 10+ years later, any time someone mentions capers I must immediately, robotically, announce that "capers are the buds off of a Meditterranean prickly shrub which are salty and slightly lemon in flavor." I will probably do this until the day I die. Just because I can. And because it kinda entertains me.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:57 AM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


These were great fun. Make sure to see the rest of his site too. The art style is fabulous. Great line work.

Olive Garden: Gods forbid anyone with a palate should be forced through the horribly overdecorated doors. As 3-ring binder, chain restaurants go; it's so horrid that it makes Friday's look passable. *shudder*
posted by Peecabu at 8:05 AM on September 26, 2007


Great. Just great. Yet another "my favorite comic". I just hate when people make posts like this.

Yet I have to admit those are some of the best strips. EVAR.

Great stuff! ;-)
posted by Doohickie at 9:14 AM on September 26, 2007


Snerk. Who hasn't had one of those in his/her past?

I married one. Seriously, whenever we discuss where to eat out, she goes with the "safe bet". Not adventurous at all when it comes to eating out. Unless, of course, it's a suggestion made by anyone other than me.
posted by Doohickie at 9:24 AM on September 26, 2007


Wow. Just, wow, most awesome. Glad that greg_nog is a MeFian!
posted by Lynsey at 10:06 AM on September 26, 2007


DO Y'ALL GOT PANCAKES?
posted by Kwine at 11:21 AM on September 26, 2007


Excellent - really enjoyed these.
posted by widdershins at 11:42 AM on September 26, 2007


Metafilter: teh* online community that gots pancakes.

*LOL, accident
posted by neuron at 12:57 PM on September 26, 2007


Personally, my hell was working in a one-hour photo place. But a restaurant would be worse.

Shoe store. Futon sales. Late-night front desk clerk in a crappy motel.

Oh, there are so many, many choices...
posted by jrochest at 3:10 PM on September 26, 2007


Personally, my hell was working in a one-hour photo place. But a restaurant would be worse.

"Inventory specialist." Roofer. Winn-Dixie stockboy. House painter, with a literally crazy ex-felon boss.
posted by Tuwa at 4:01 PM on September 26, 2007


Sold clothes. Did singing telegrams. Groomed horses at horse shows. And I was a dog groomer.

Being a dog groomer sounds fun, you say? Try being 14, at your first job where you think you're gonna get to play with puppies, and instead being told that part of your job entails extracting the glands in a dog's butt.

Any time people start having some kind of contest on "Who's had the grossest job?" I always win.
posted by miss lynnster at 5:04 PM on September 26, 2007


Re dogs' anal glands: Ass Charles.
posted by danb at 10:23 AM on September 27, 2007


Late-night front desk clerk in a crappy motel.

Actually, a friend of mine was telling me a story about a customer at the hotel where he worked, and it struck me as so familiar to my own experiences with customer service that I made a comic about it.

And while I'm here with Secret Bonus Materials that aren't linked on my website:

This is a bad faux-New-Yorker comic I made in response to this cartoon that was on gawker.com.

This is a comic I made as a form of mourning when my childhood pet died, a couple years back.

And this was for a project my roommate wanted to pursue but never followed through on. Mainly, I think he just wanted to think that some good could come from being given a hundred dildos.

Anyway, thanks for the kind words, all!
posted by Greg Nog at 1:25 PM on September 27, 2007 [2 favorites]


Sniff. Kasi was a good kitty.
posted by agregoli at 2:04 PM on September 27, 2007


Thank YOU, Greg, especially for the Secret Bonus Materials.

But for making me cry a little bit about Kasi, here's a self-link to the only thing I've ever done on the internet that I'm really proud of
posted by yhbc at 2:09 PM on September 27, 2007


Hey, even more greatness.

And what IS it with cats and brushes? Ours are so into having their faces brushed with ink brushes that they'll climb up onto my drafting table and just brush themselves silly on my brush rack. It's ridiculous.
posted by COBRA! at 2:29 PM on September 27, 2007


If one more person posts a sweet and sad kitty story, I'm going to freak out. So sad. Yay, DC.
posted by agregoli at 2:49 PM on September 27, 2007


Greg Nog, I just want to add my voice to those saying your comics are awesome. Makes me wish I could do it myself. :)
posted by CrayDrygu at 4:03 PM on September 27, 2007


Aaaaaaaargh, cat mortality! Internet +1, my stonefaced dignity 0.
posted by LobsterMitten at 4:21 PM on September 27, 2007


Thank YOU, Greg, especially for the Secret Bonus Materials.

But for making me cry a little bit about Kasi, here's a self-link to the only thing I've ever done on the internet that I'm really proud of


Nooooo!
posted by Nabubrush at 4:18 PM on September 28, 2007


Greg Nog, the frame of you and your cat cringing is great. I totally relate.

And I really, really miss Tommie...
posted by brundlefly at 2:21 AM on October 2, 2007


Damnit, yhbc! Damnit!

Thanks for sharing.
posted by brundlefly at 2:28 AM on October 2, 2007


« Older The Modern Library of Food (Not Cook) Books   |   Mutations in space Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post