ummm.... what? posted by pompomtom at 4:18 AM on October 21, 2007
An ex of mine (mis)directed me to Rate My Poo dot Com. No, I'm not going to make it easier for you to go there. I advise against, in fact.
So, who here actually watched what I presume are the videos? I couldn't look at the site for more than 3 seconds. posted by imperium at 4:19 AM on October 21, 2007
I've watched most of them. It's a total trainwreck of humanity.
Can't sleep. Zits'll eat me.
Hell, not sleeping ever again. posted by loquacious at 4:24 AM on October 21, 2007
Heh, yeah, just kidding. Watch the videos? NO. posted by dreamsign at 4:25 AM on October 21, 2007
Awesome word of the day--Fade like Bleach, meaning--Highy dependable. Used to describe someone/something that happens consitently, as bleach always fades fabric.
Boy: Did you finish the check list?
Girl: Yeah, I got it all done.
Boy: Girl, you fade like bleach!
You know, I can watch a zit be popped. I can even watch another zit be popped. But somewhere there's a line where the sheer number and volume of zit becomes unbearably disgusting, and this site has crossed that line. posted by Anything at 5:11 AM on October 21, 2007
Yuck. posted by Dasein at 5:34 AM on October 21, 2007
I want my $5 back...
hell...for this Matt owes me $10
/goes to call Homeland Security, someone has to do something about this! posted by HuronBob at 5:34 AM on October 21, 2007
Thank goodness I didn't eat breakfast yet. In fact, I don't think I'm ever going to eat again. In fact, I think you can market this link as a diet. posted by spec80 at 5:42 AM on October 21, 2007
I think they are conflating zits and boils. I regret all knowledge I have of the two. posted by srboisvert at 5:42 AM on October 21, 2007
Good god, I actually run into one of those zit/pus fetishists in my tender years of net wandering, when chatting over IRC was the hot fun thing to do. Despite my concern about her health and her need to see a doctor, she kept on harping about how she'd love to make this open wound in her arm all gooey and green.
I really wonder what would have been of my education into the many oddities of life without my early access to the web. posted by Iosephus at 5:44 AM on October 21, 2007
Isn't popping a zit is the worst thing you can do for your skin? IIRC, it increases the chance of infection and a redder, pus-ier inflammation. Granted, that could be these epidermavoyeurs intention, in an attempt for a grand finale. posted by leo. at 5:46 AM on October 21, 2007
Wouldn't they rather be epidermaxhibitionists? posted by Iosephus at 5:49 AM on October 21, 2007
That's enough oil to run my car for a week.
I can see it now, pimply faced kids lined up outside a dermatologist office, with a biodiesel tanker truck parked right outside. posted by Balisong at 5:53 AM on October 21, 2007
I think they are conflating zits and boils. I regret all knowledge I have of the two.
"Hmm..." I think to myself, "what is the difference?" Even wikipedia's dry synopsis of a boil turns my stomach. And then I followed the reference to carbuncles....
Regret all knowledge indeed. :/ I'm so glad I didn't actually click anything on the linked site. posted by adamt at 6:01 AM on October 21, 2007
Ah, zit-popping. I did my share, which is why my cheeks look like someone had a go at them with a bb gun. I'm almost 37 and still get them. I got one on my eyelid, makes me look vaguely piratical. posted by jonmc at 6:19 AM on October 21, 2007
This is worse than watching girls blow goats. Not that I've ever done that. posted by cjorgensen at 6:23 AM on October 21, 2007
Iosephus, good point. Consider my previous assertion popped. posted by leo. at 6:29 AM on October 21, 2007
This is not what the internet is for. posted by empath at 6:40 AM on October 21, 2007
Man, I really wish we still had img tags. posted by BeerFilter at 7:01 AM on October 21, 2007
This has to be computer graphics. Sure, it looks real, but there is no way that much pus can hide in a human body without becoming sentient and arming itself. posted by Bugbread at 7:09 AM on October 21, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]
Unless these were shot with a high speed camera and played back in super slow motion, I'm not even going to look. posted by Tommy Gnosis at 7:34 AM on October 21, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]
To paraphrase David Cross, if this is what we've done with it, I hate our freedom. posted by psmealey at 7:35 AM on October 21, 2007
And I was just settling down to some nice Cream o' Wheat. posted by palancik at 7:54 AM on October 21, 2007
I am not clicking on that!!! Ew, ew, and more ew. posted by typewriter at 7:58 AM on October 21, 2007
Charming. As the fellow said, "What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god: the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals. . . ."
Uh huh. Can somebody please give the porpoises and cockroaches custody of the planet already? posted by FelliniBlank at 8:15 AM on October 21, 2007
Oh hell, pimples are the ultimate existential crisis. You could be as eloquent as Dr. King, handsome as George Clooney and smart as Einstien, but put a zit on your nose and you become just another loser geek. It's the great equalizer.
(oddly, women I've dated have said that my acne scars are 'sexy.' I will never understand the non-dangling gender.) posted by jonmc at 8:40 AM on October 21, 2007
I thought this was going to be a parody of Devo's "Whip It." I was wrong. posted by kirkaracha at 8:47 AM on October 21, 2007
I was going to joke about how much worse it'd be once you realized that this was, in fact, someone's fetish site.
Then I read the thread and learned that, yes, there are zit fetishists.
Damn you, rule 34, damn you. posted by lekvar at 8:53 AM on October 21, 2007
said that my acne scars are 'sexy.'
I'm not sure that this is the principle reason why they are considered so, but tons of 'beautiful people' have them, e.g.: Cameron Diaz, Liz Hurley, Brad Pitt, etc. posted by psmealey at 8:55 AM on October 21, 2007
Been there, done that.
I am *sure* I had one of the biggest zits of all time in college.
It started out as one of those flat shiny ones on your nose?
And then it just kept growing all over my face?
And it got so big it started blocking the vision in one eye?
so someone said, you should really get that Lanced.
(Lanced = popped by medical experts.)
so I did. the doc brought in everyone from the office to get a look at my zit. Then he "lanced" it with a big needle.
This is great. Voyeuristic primate grooming videos. Where's the monkeys eating lice out of each other's hair videos? How about the cats licking the monitor videos? You can't look away! Haaaaahaaaaa!
I HAVE A BLACKHEAD ON MY SHOULDER I HAVE A SCHEDULE FOR SQUEEZING -- ONCE EVERY TWO YEARS.
Bring the hate! Bring it!
(I only watched one and cringed. This sort of thing is so much better in person.) posted by seanmpuckett at 9:03 AM on October 21, 2007
afraid of Rule 34 w/r/t this. posted by jessamyn at 9:04 AM on October 21, 2007
but tons of 'beautiful people' have them, e.g.: Cameron Diaz, Liz Hurley, Brad Pitt, etc.
Dude, mine look knitting-needle induced and I wasn't genetically blessed with a face as good as theirs. I also am mysified why someone would find attractive something that mainly stands as evidence of hormonal overload and bad hygeine. posted by jonmc at 9:07 AM on October 21, 2007
Man. Ten minutes later and I'm STILL skeeving. posted by SPUTNIK at 9:17 AM on October 21, 2007
OMG LOLZITZ posted by illiad at 9:18 AM on October 21, 2007
You know that movie Idiocracy? It's supposed to be about our society 500 years in the future. But I think it might actually be about right now. posted by brain cloud at 9:26 AM on October 21, 2007
Oh, no no no no, jonmc - not bad hygiene. Bad genes, hormonal overload, maybe - but not bad hygiene (OR eating pizza and chocolate). It may be blackheads can be helped with regular cleansing, but not cystic acne. Clean and scrub as hard as you will, those things aren't going away without medicinal help or just plain aging (and not always then). I speak from experience as someone who kept her face scrupulously clean through high school and college. Those fuckers didn't go away until I took a course of Accutane. Also, though it's true that picking can lead to scarring, scarring can occur even if you don't pick. This is why I'm an atheist.
The first guy I fell in love with had very bad scarring. I think what was sexy about him wasn't the scarring itself, but the confidence he had in spite of it. Whereas I, on the other hand, would skip school if I had a very bad break-out. AND I'M STILL BITTER. posted by Evangeline at 9:29 AM on October 21, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]
I threw up a little. Then I looked at the rest of the pics. posted by Ricky_gr10 at 9:30 AM on October 21, 2007
They block YouTube in China, but not this. posted by saysthis at 9:36 AM on October 21, 2007
For the love of God, why? posted by MythMaker at 9:49 AM on October 21, 2007
Man, this is the most disgusting thing I've seen on the Internots since SWAP.avi (link goes to mere description. I've never seen it. I don't think I could take it if I did). posted by sparkletone at 9:50 AM on October 21, 2007
For the love of God, why?
Exactly. Where's you evolutionary theory now? The superfluous production of sebum starts at the exact onset of puberty. Apparently there's not one other mammal that has a similar juvenile phenomenon.
Combined with the adolescent 'knowledge' that acne is very unattractive one would expect a strong selection effect against acne. So why does it still exist? Why does it exist at all, and only with us hairless monkeys?
I've never seen an explanation according to blind watchmaker/selfish gene theory...
And when that has been solved please explain why we all agree that we start to smell (as in stink) too when we hit puberty. (I don't think pheromones are a very convincing argument for smelling in a way that's generally found repulsive)
So there's no other explanation. It must be that God is punishing you for your illicit self-gratification or some heritidary sin (erfzonde).
Intelligent design. posted by jouke at 10:11 AM on October 21, 2007
joukewrites"And when that has been solved please explain why we all agree that we start to smell (as in stink) too when we hit puberty. (I don't think pheromones are a very convincing argument for smelling in a way that's generally found repulsive)"
I can guess at this one: finding that smell repulsive may have started relatively recently (last, I dunno, 3000 or 4000 years or so?), which is not enough time for evolutionary selection to kick in.
Or, equally possible, it is kicking in, and people smelled way the fuck worse 1000 years ago. We just don't know because there's no qualitative data. posted by Bugbread at 10:29 AM on October 21, 2007
@Bugbread: I blame clothes. In a clothing-free world, the sweat would evaporate, cooling the body as it's supposed to and depriving the stink-producing bacteria of their food supply. posted by JDHarper at 10:34 AM on October 21, 2007
Jeebus, the comments alone are making me queasy, there's no way in fucking fuck I'm clicking on the link and you CAN'T MAKE ME. posted by Space Kitty at 10:38 AM on October 21, 2007
I think I'm going to start a website called "Pop That Tumor!" And it won't even make sense because YOU CAN'T DO THAT and yet I know there will be someone out there jacking off to it. posted by Vic Morrow's Personal Vietnam at 10:41 AM on October 21, 2007
jouke writes "explain why we all agree that we start to smell..."
We don't all agree this fact. If you travel to countries that don't fetishize scent and don't bathe every-single-day-sometimes-more-than-once you will find that the people there don't think they stink, in fact, it is you that they think stink because of the artificial floweryness that you carry around with you called "deodorant." posted by M Edward at 10:45 AM on October 21, 2007
Huh. I take a day or so off of Metafilter, I come back, and this is the very first post I see.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna back away from the internet and go take a walk on the beach with my dog now. It seems I need another 24 hours off. posted by miss lynnster at 10:57 AM on October 21, 2007
YouTube had a cyst removal video. The doc lanced it then got a SPOON and scooped out the gunk.
I blame clothes. In a clothing-free world, the sweat would evaporate, cooling the body as it's supposed to and depriving the stink-producing bacteria of their food supply.
This pizza I'm eating was so yummy, until I clicked on that link.
And I LIKE declogging pores. But my own. And, not while eating. Aiee. posted by NikitaNikita at 12:57 PM on October 21, 2007
This story is not especially disgusting.
About a year ago, my fiance (now wife) decided that I needed to get a facial.
What the heck, I figured. I could use some professional face washing. So, I went into the spa pretty sure that this was going to be a relaxing hour.
Well. Well well well.
Men (and you few women who were unaware of this), heed my warning. Facials are pure torment.
First, they blast hot steam at your face. Then, the clinician sets up a giant, well lit magnifying glass over your face. If you're lucky, yours will be like mine and react with revulsion upon seeing your magnified pores. Of course, their face is magnified, too...
Next, my eyes were covered. Then the extractions started.
I honestly had no idea extractions were part of this, but they have a tool that does this. It looks like a tiny little two pronged metal pitchform.
I spend a lot of time looking at my face in the mirror and I never noticed how clogged my pours must have been because I got to sit through about an hour of pinching, poking and gagging.
Maybe I have sensitive skin because it hurt like mad. However, I figured if I whined or whimpered, I would really look bad since, probably, 40 people came through there a day without complaints.
While watching the videos in this link didn't especially disgust me, the main thing I kept thinking was "that has got to hurt."
Because, man, it hurts.
On the plus side, I can't deny my skin looked a whole lot better for a few weeks. posted by Joey Michaels at 12:59 PM on October 21, 2007
I still remember when one of the hottest girls at my high school blithely announced to our entire AP English class that she regularly popped the zits on her boyfriend's back.
I died a little that day. posted by Rangeboy at 1:14 PM on October 21, 2007
There are not enough ways to say DO NOT WANT. posted by po at 1:31 PM on October 21, 2007
The superfluous production of sebum starts at the exact onset of puberty.
Eureka! Perhaps we can harness this sebum as an alterative energy source, and lift the yoke of dependence upon foreign oil. posted by psmealey at 1:39 PM on October 21, 2007
Who's yo papa - papa zit
Where's yo mama - papa zit
Listen to papa - papa zit
Where's yo mama - papa zit
This is the shit
Chew tobacco - papa zit
Two chewbaccas - papa zit
Who's yo papa - papa zit
Where's yo mama - papa zit
This is the shit posted by Sailormom at 2:05 PM on October 21, 2007
This is God's Day.
My glandular state is akin to Bertolli,
The pits on my skin would honor a goalie.
My sole console, as I pop my phiz,
The Lord's day keeping, I surely is:
"Remember the Sabbath, and keep it holey." posted by rob511 at 2:08 PM on October 21, 2007
Arggghhh — used keep twice! posted by rob511 at 2:10 PM on October 21, 2007
No matter how strong a stomach one thinks one may have...one should not click this link while eating dinner.
Just don't do it! posted by gummi at 2:25 PM on October 21, 2007
Frankly, it's all flash video gone horribly wrong to me. posted by champthom at 2:26 PM on October 21, 2007
I would expect nothing less from you loq. Be careful everyone, as loq's uncommon need for zit popping spreads quickly. You are now all infected. Now go and rub greasy food on your friend's faces! posted by phytage at 2:42 PM on October 21, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]
My main concern is what is going to happen during the Alien Invasion. The Alien Commander will have to decide between using his Gamma Particle Phaser to blow Earth into oblivion or leave humanity unharmed. His second-in-command will come into the room and show him the egregious zit-popping and our fates will be sealed.
Won't someone please think about the Alien Invasion? posted by heatherbeth at 3:35 PM on October 21, 2007
Man, that site made me want to vomit.
posted by kyleg
Really? Hmm. You know, that gives me an idea for a video website that'll make this one look tasteful ...
Mwahahahaha. posted by kaemaril at 5:29 PM on October 21, 2007
Isn't popping a zit is the worst thing you can do for your skin?
Ok, serious question: you hear this all the time, and yet, facialists do it. If it's so bad for you, why would the people who are supposed to make you face awesome do it? posted by naoko at 7:05 PM on October 21, 2007
your face, that is.
I am going to get a reputation as one of those continual typo-makers. posted by naoko at 7:05 PM on October 21, 2007
naoko - because supposedly the facialists *know* what they are doing, and the average person doesn't. Plus perhaps they think more about hygiene or something. posted by typewriter at 7:20 PM on October 21, 2007
What typewriter said. Facialists prep your face and use the proper tools so everything is clinical and hygienic. The key is that they get EVERTHING out so it can heal. Generally when you pop your own, you don't get everything. So there's stuff left and it infects. So by popping it, you've successfully messed up your skin worse than it was before. And that pimple will now take two or three times the amount of time to heal. posted by miss lynnster at 7:38 PM on October 21, 2007
but it feels so good! posted by Mick at 8:13 PM on October 21, 2007
Ugh... the zit videos weren't so terribly bad - just mildly gross. It was the "accident on a freeway gawking" thing kicking in for the "Sebaceous Cyst Exploding" video that totally made my lose my lunch.
I just opened and closed that site so fast that I defied the laws of physics. Now a wormhole has appeared in Tallahassee and the world as we know it is over.
Thanks a lot, guys. Damn it. posted by empyrean at 9:04 PM on October 21, 2007
What facialists do is prep the skin by cleaning the surface, then using steam to open the pores, then using a mask to take out as much as they can without extracting anything forcefully yet. Once the skin is prepped, they insert a clean needle into the pore that the pimple has settled in. This provides a clean exit for the crap that's about to come out. Then they squeeze the pimple using the cushy sides of their fingers, never the tips or the nail, at different angles to get that white bit out without damaging your skin.
When we pop pimples, we just go at it and since there is no clear exit point for the stuff to come out of, everything in there gets mixed together and pushes in more and around and if/when you do finally breach the surface, a lot more damage has been done. Therefore, you get the possible infection and scarring. posted by spec80 at 9:39 PM on October 21, 2007
Ok, so theoretically, if I were to be really careful and hygienic about it, I could pop my own zits without shame? posted by naoko at 5:58 AM on October 22, 2007
In a small Thai village I saw a little wizened old man, sitting in the dirt by the side of the road, whose job it was to pick people's zits. I watched him for about 30 minutes, and several people paid him to monkey groom their backs and faces. He used several long fingernails and a stick like an orange stick, and wiped some leaves over the zits after he'd popped them. But no, I won't be watching any of those videos. posted by goo at 9:07 AM on October 22, 2007
Mama's got a squeezebox,
It's on Daddy's back... posted by darkstar at 10:04 PM on October 22, 2007
In case I or any one one among us had thought that "Nastiest Thing On The Internet" was ever going to be a closed topic. There. IS ALWAYS. Something. Worse. posted by damehex at 11:19 PM on October 22, 2007
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posted by jouke at 3:58 AM on October 21, 2007