YAD KCOL SPAC

October 22, 2007 4:46 AM

OCTOBER 22 IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!!! EVERY YEAR WE GET TOGETHER AND MAKE SALMON FOR TOAST, EVERY YEAR WE GET A CROCKETY BLOAT, EVERY YEAR WE GET DRUNK ON THE DOCKS, AND EVERY YEAR WE HAVE SEX WITH OUR CAPS LOCKS!!!!
posted by Greg Nog (255 comments total)

PREVIOSULY
PREVIOUSLIY
FREVIOUSLY
PREMIOUSLY
posted by Greg Nog at 4:46 AM on October 22, 2007

IVE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR FOR THIS

HOORAY HOORAY I LOVE YOU ALL
posted by Greg Nog at 4:47 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

MATHOWIE RETURN <IMG> TO US FOR THIS THREAD ALONE

THIS WE ASK, NAY, BEG OF YOU
posted by killdevil at 4:53 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

CEILING CAT IS WEEPING
posted by killdevil at 4:55 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

OH NOES!
posted by Skorgu at 4:55 AM on October 22, 2007

OMG I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY ALREADY I WOULD HAVE FORGOTTEN WITHOUT U GUYZ

THX MEFI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

OMG OMG OMG
posted by grouse at 4:55 AM on October 22, 2007

EVERYBODY PANIC!
posted by Mach5 at 4:55 AM on October 22, 2007

NO IMGS FOR YOU LUSERS
HA HA
LOVE MATT
posted by yhbc at 4:56 AM on October 22, 2007

OH BOY CAPITAL LETTERS THAT I MAKE WITH MY CAPS LOCK
posted by tepidmonkey at 4:56 AM on October 22, 2007

EVERY YEAR WE HAVE THE SAME POST AND GET TO TROT OUT THE SAME TIRED JOKES! HOORAY FOR INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!
posted by MrMustard at 4:57 AM on October 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

eVEN WITH CAPS LOCK ON, i STILL HAVE A HABIT TO USE THE SHIFT KEY.
posted by yeti at 4:59 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

HA! WAIT UNTIL I GET TO WORK!!1!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:59 AM on October 22, 2007

OH GODS NOT AGAIN

(I SHOULD ALSO MENTION THAT I REFUSE TO USE CAPS LOCK, AND SO AM TYPING THIS WHOLE THING WITH THE SHIFT KEY HELD DOWN.)
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:00 AM on October 22, 2007

             GIVE US <IMG> OR THIS HORN GOES RIGHT THROUGH YOU

                                                                
                  ,%%%,                                              
                ,%%%` %==--                                          
               ,%%`( '|                                              
              ,%%@ /\_/                                              
    ,%.-"""--%%% "@@__                                               
   %%/             |__`\                                             
  .%'\     |   \   /  //                                             
  ,%' >   .'----\ |  [/                                              
     <>      `\\\       ||                                                  
        )\\      )\                                                  
^^^jgs^^"""^^^^^^""^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

posted by killdevil at 5:00 AM on October 22, 2007 [5 favorites]

[is a cap lock refusenik]
posted by orange swan at 5:00 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

I STILL LOVE THE FACT THAT "THE SELF PROCLAIMED OFFICIAL HOME PAGE OF CAPS LOCK DAY" USES "TEXT-TRANSFORM: UPPERCASE;"!!!1!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:01 AM on October 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

In 2008, comic sans day and capslock day will overlap and the world will end as we know it.
posted by empyrean at 5:01 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

HAHA MEAN MRMUSTARD MADE A FUNNY I FAVORITED IT BUT I STILL &HEARTS; INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY

IF YOU HAD A REALLY REALLY GOOD BROWSER &HEARTS; WOULD LOOK LIKE ♥ BUT BE IN ALL CAPS.
posted by grouse at 5:01 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

SHUTUP MY BROWSER IS GREAT YOU SUCK
posted by killdevil at 5:03 AM on October 22, 2007

UR BROWSER DOESN'T SUPPORT &HEARTS; SO U SUCK
posted by grouse at 5:05 AM on October 22, 2007

I KISS YOU!!!1!
posted by triv at 5:08 AM on October 22, 2007

/PARTICIPATING IN HISTORIC THREAD
posted by hjo3 at 5:09 AM on October 22, 2007

I IS NOT MEAN I IS JUST AFFECTING A WEARY CYNICISM CUZ I IS ON METAFILTER.
posted by MrMustard at 5:09 AM on October 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

FUCK YEAH YOU CAN COUNT ME IN BRO.

CHEST BUMP.

HIGH FIVES.
posted by The Straightener at 5:09 AM on October 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

REMEMBER THAT TIME WE TRIED TO KILL YOU BY PUTTING YOU IN THE FIRE, AND YOU WERE LIKE 'NO WAY!'? THAT WAS GREAT
posted by cellphone at 5:10 AM on October 22, 2007 [12 favorites]

METAFILTER THREAD SOMEHOW ELICITS MACHO POSTURING
posted by killdevil at 5:11 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

I MISS MY WEIGHTED COMPANION CUBE
posted by killdevil at 5:12 AM on October 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

YO MAN YOU DONT GOTTA YELL I'M STANDIN RIGHT HERE.
posted by The Straightener at 5:12 AM on October 22, 2007

i hear that caps lock day has been canceled this year on account of retardation.
posted by Avenger at 5:16 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

I HEAR THAT CAPS LOCK DAY HAS BEEN CANCELED COMMEMORATED THIS YEAR ON ACCOUNT OF RETARDATION.

FIXED THAT FOR YOU.
posted by tepidmonkey at 5:18 AM on October 22, 2007

CAPS LOCK DAY PROTEST!

THE MAJOR REDUCTION IN SAVINGS ACCOMPLISHED BY THE ONE LAPTOP PER CHILD PEOPLE WILL BE ACCOMPLISHED BY LEAVING OFF THE CAPS LOCK!

SO, THERE'LL BE NO CAPS LOCK DAY FOR THE POOR CHILDREN OF THE WORLD!

WRITE TO THESE BASTARDS AND COMPLAIN NOW! WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN???
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:23 AM on October 22, 2007

THE FIRST NOEL THE ANGELS DID SAY WAS WRITTEN IN CAPS LOCK

O LITTLE TOWN OF CAPS LOCK

GOOD KING WENCESLAS USED HIS CAPS LOCK ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN

SILENT CAPS LOCK HOLY CAPS LOCK
posted by schroedinger at 5:24 AM on October 22, 2007

I LOCK MY CAPS FOR THE LULZ
posted by mullacc at 5:29 AM on October 22, 2007

AND NOW I AM A DEAD THING CLAWING IN THE DARK AND THERE IS NOTHING WE EAT EACH OTHER AND SHIT EACH OUT AND THE STENCH OF BLOOD FILLS MY SINUSES, I FEEL LIKE I AM DROWNING. I CAN SMELL THE ROTTING BLOOD SPILLED BY YOU AND YOUR FATHERS AND YOUR GRANDFATHERS, POOLED FOREVER FETID UNDER A PITILESS SUN.
posted by public at 5:29 AM on October 22, 2007

THERE IS NO IMG TAGS SO RIGHT NOW I ASK U TO THINK OF A SMALL PIZI PIXELATED MC HAMMER DOING A LOOPED HAMMER DANCE ON UR SRCRE SCREEN
posted by darkripper at 5:34 AM on October 22, 2007

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH THE TAG IF YOU HAD IT? IT'D JUST BE TUBGIRL AND GOATSE AND ARSEHOLES AND TAINTS ALL THE LIVELONG DAY.

SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, TURD, TURD, TURD, SCAT, SCAT, SCAT: THAT'S ALL YOU BASTARDS CAN THINK OF.
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:34 AM on October 22, 2007

THIS YEAR IVE MADE A DONATION TO CAPS LOCKERS ANONYMOUS IN YOUR NAME SORRY I COULDNT AFFORD THAT ANATOMICALLY CORRECT TONKA TRUCK THAT YOU WANTED

ALSO I HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY
posted by milquetoast at 5:35 AM on October 22, 2007

HELL YES. I WILL NEVER UNHAPPY FOR AS LONG AS TODAY. SCREW YOU, MEETINGS. I GOTS MYSELF A CAPSLOCK DAY.
posted by jmhodges at 5:37 AM on October 22, 2007

[is a cap lock refusenik]
posted by orange swan at 8:00 AM on October 22 [+] [Flagged]

FOR BREAKING THE GUIDELINES
posted by chlorus at 5:38 AM on October 22, 2007 [11 favorites]

I THINK YOU CAN STILL HAVE A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION IN CAPS LOCK, YOU KNOW, KIND OF LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS OF CCMAIL.
posted by samsara at 5:38 AM on October 22, 2007

WE NEED COMIC SANS TOO PLZ MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by ItsaMario at 5:40 AM on October 22, 2007

I WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN CAPS LOCK DAY BUT WHENEVER I PUT ON THE CAPS LOCK MY LETTERS GET SMALLER AND SMALLER UNTIL FINALLY YOU CANNOT SEE THEM AT ALL AND IT IS A REAL DRAG LET ME TELL YOU.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:41 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

SORRY, WORK. RELIGIOUS HOLIDAY, I WON'T BE COMING IN TODAY!!!!1!!ELEVEN
posted by piratebowling at 5:41 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

DO THEY HAVE CAPSLOCK DAY IN CUBA?
posted by public at 5:42 AM on October 22, 2007

HOW DO I MAKE MY NAME IN CAPS?
posted by chlorus at 5:44 AM on October 22, 2007

AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE!!!!
posted by zardoz at 5:44 AM on October 22, 2007

EVERY YEAR I HIT MY FAVORITE LIMIT FOR THE DAY :(
posted by tehloki at 5:47 AM on October 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
posted by kcds at 5:53 AM on October 22, 2007

flapjax: IT@S YOUR KEYBOARD BATTERY
posted by Leon at 5:53 AM on October 22, 2007

OW. PLEASE STOP SHOUTING. IT MAKES MY EYES HURT.
posted by rtha at 5:55 AM on October 22, 2007

I'm a scroll-locker.
posted by mattoxic at 5:57 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

CAPS LOCKED ON TARGET - FIRE AT WILL
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:58 AM on October 22, 2007

LISTEN, COLIN, I HAVE A DISEASE! I SUFFER FROM VOICE IMMODULATION! I'M UNABLE TO CONTROL THE VOLUME OR INFLECTION OF MY VOICE!
posted by Rock Steady at 5:58 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

nerds
posted by i_cola at 6:01 AM on October 22, 2007

No.
posted by Floach at 6:04 AM on October 22, 2007

YA
posted by Demogorgon at 6:07 AM on October 22, 2007

i scream louder than all of you, for i use caps-lock and shift at the same time. there.
posted by CautionToTheWind at 6:08 AM on October 22, 2007 [5 favorites]

CLEANSE THE HEATHENS!
posted by tehloki at 6:09 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

DO THEY HAVE CAPSLOCK DAY IN CUBA?

FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, ITS NOT ILLEGAL TO CELEBRATE CAPSLOCK DAY IN CUBA
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:15 AM on October 22, 2007 [4 favorites]

I AM GOING TO REGRET WRITING IN THIS THREAD BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER LEAVE MY RECENT ACTIVITY PAGE.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:17 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

IF YOU LOVE CUBA SO MUCH WHY DID YOU COME BACK? - TOM TANCREDO
posted by chlorus at 6:18 AM on October 22, 2007

SPARTANS!!!
posted by PenDevil at 6:19 AM on October 22, 2007

THIS IS 65770!!!!!!!!11
posted by chlorus at 6:20 AM on October 22, 2007

waNoCaps disables caps lock for Windows. So there.
posted by gregoreo at 6:22 AM on October 22, 2007

CAPS LOCK: THE WAY METAFILTER WAS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED

REMEMBER THAT CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME!
posted by slimepuppy at 6:23 AM on October 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

CAPS LOCK IS LIKE BACON. IT MAKES A BORING BOWL OF LETTUCE INTO A SALAD!!!
posted by crunchywelch at 6:23 AM on October 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

HASTEN TO BATTLE, MEN OF BAYAMO,
THAT THE HOMELAND LOOKS PROUDLY TO YOU.
DO NOT FEAR A GLORIOUS DEATH
BECAUSE TO DIE FOR THE COUNTRY IS TO LIVE.

TO LIVE IN CHAINS
IS TO LIVE IN DISHONOUR AND IGNOMINY.
HEAR THE CLARION CALL,
HASTEN, BRAVE ONES, TO BATTLE!
posted by public at 6:26 AM on October 22, 2007

WELCOME TO CAPSLOCK COUNTRY, BETCH
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:26 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

REMEMBER THAT CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME!
posted by slimepuppy at 2:23 PM on October 22 [+] [!]


YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.
posted by public at 6:27 AM on October 22, 2007

_________CAPS!CAP____________CAPS!CAPS
______CAPS!CAPS!CAPS_______CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!C
____CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS___CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS
___CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CA_______CAPS
__CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CA_________CAPS
_CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!C_______CAPS
_CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!______C
CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS__CAP
CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CA_C
CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS
CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS
_CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CA
__CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!
____CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CA
______CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CA
_________CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!C
____________CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!
______________CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!CAPS!
_________________CAPS!CAPS!CAP
___________________CAPS!CAPS
_____________________CAPS!C
______________________CAPS
_______________________CA
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:28 AM on October 22, 2007 [8 favorites]

I CAN HAS TREBUCKET??
posted by pyramid termite at 6:28 AM on October 22, 2007

I SPENT MY $5 JUST SO I CAN PARTICIPATE IN THIS THREAD.
posted by champthom at 6:29 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

OH HELL YES!!!!!
posted by sveskemus at 6:30 AM on October 22, 2007

CAPS LOCK IS FIVE DOLLARS OF GOOD
posted by tehloki at 6:31 AM on October 22, 2007

EGREGIOUS LIES LOCKED IN CAPS ARE TOLERATED.
posted by carsonb at 6:33 AM on October 22, 2007

I KEEP MY CAPS IN A LOCK BOX TO WIN PEACE PRIZE LIKE GORE
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:35 AM on October 22, 2007

I GIVE MYSELF OVER TO THE POWER OF CAPS LOCK!!!
posted by languagehat at 6:35 AM on October 22, 2007

TAKE ME CAPS LOCK. TAKE ME TO YOUR THE BEAUTIFUL GREEN LED HEAVEN.
posted by jmhodges at 6:45 AM on October 22, 2007

UNLOLKEILLOR
posted by xorry at 6:45 AM on October 22, 2007

Oh, shut up.
posted by Termite at 6:46 AM on October 22, 2007

I AM SORRY PUBLIC. CAPS LOCK MAKES ME EXCITED.

I LIKE CAPS LOCK BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE I AM SHOUTING EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT.
posted by slimepuppy at 6:48 AM on October 22, 2007

OH MAN. THE GREATEST HOLIDAY IS CAPS LOCK HOLIDAY.
posted by Stynxno at 6:54 AM on October 22, 2007

I CAN HAS TREBUCKET??

ARNOLD TREBUCKET???

posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:57 AM on October 22, 2007

OH MAN. THE GREATEST HOLIDAY IS CAPS LOCK HOLIDAY.

ISN'T IT IRONIC THAT CAPSLOCK DOES SO MUCH WORK ON HIS HOLIDAY?
posted by public at 7:00 AM on October 22, 2007

IF THERE IS ANY JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD, THIS THREAD WILL GET A SIMILAR TREATMENT TO THE COMIC SANS ONE.
posted by zztzed at 7:01 AM on October 22, 2007

I KNOWS I SKIPPED WORK FOR GOOD REASN!!!1!!
posted by afu at 7:02 AM on October 22, 2007

I USED THE SHIFT KEY. CRAP
posted by starman at 7:03 AM on October 22, 2007

I'VE BEEN READING METAFILTER IN ALL CAPS ALL DAY. THIS THREAD LOOKED JUST LIKE ANY OTHER, ONLY SLIGHTLY DUMBER.

NOT RECOMMENDED.
posted by plant at 7:05 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

Paste this into comment box for lulz.

<style>* {TEXT-TRANSFORM: UPPERCASE;} </style>
posted by public at 7:07 AM on October 22, 2007

I HAVE A VAGUE SENSE OF ENTHUSIASM APROPOS OF NOTHING
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 7:11 AM on October 22, 2007

I don't want to be a kill joy ... FUCK IT I AM THE COOKIE RECIPE OF KICK-ASS.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 7:12 AM on October 22, 2007

stop this foolishness
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:12 AM on October 22, 2007

SCROLL LOCK IS BETTAH

Scroll Lock Online: The web's first interactive scroll lock key!
posted by ALongDecember at 7:12 AM on October 22, 2007

SHHHHHHH. THIS IS A LIBRARY.
posted by squasha at 7:13 AM on October 22, 2007

OI, WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SPAC?
posted by chrismear at 7:15 AM on October 22, 2007

GREGOREO: THIS IS THE SAME SOFTWARE FOR MAC USERS
posted by darkripper at 7:19 AM on October 22, 2007

HEY GUYS THE ONLY TIME I GET THREATENED WITH LAWSUITS ON SOME OF THE SITES I RUN I GET NOTES LIKE THIS THREAD, WITH SPECIAL CLAUSES, USUALLY THE THREAT OF LAWYERS, IN ALL CAPS. IT MAKES ME SCAREDED.
posted by maxwelton at 7:21 AM on October 22, 2007

FUCK CAKE FACE FUCK
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 7:27 AM on October 22, 2007

MY CAPS LOCK HAS A GREEN LIGHT IN IT!
posted by ShawnString at 7:30 AM on October 22, 2007

HAY GUYZ?

ANYBODY KNOW IF NEW MEFIMALI SUPPORTS THE CAPS????
posted by sparkletone at 7:30 AM on October 22, 2007

MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, IF THERE WAS NO CAPS LOCK DAY THERE WOULD BE NO LOLCATS.

BUT WE SHOULD NOT BLAME THE FATHER FOR THE SINS OF THE SON.
posted by turaho at 7:31 AM on October 22, 2007

ALSO. SPEAKING OF SPECIAL TREATMENT.

IMG TAG PLZ

(TYPED WHILE MAKING COLBERT-ESQUE GRABBY HANDS GESTURE)
posted by sparkletone at 7:32 AM on October 22, 2007

hey guys. what's happening? did i miss something?
posted by item at 7:34 AM on October 22, 2007

I HAVE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY FOR THIS !1!!ONE!!!!
posted by freq at 7:35 AM on October 22, 2007

I fixed it!* {TEXT-TRANSFORM: UPPERCASE;}
posted by item at 7:36 AM on October 22, 2007

DAMMIT
posted by item at 7:36 AM on October 22, 2007

INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY.
posted by hangashore at 7:36 AM on October 22, 2007

IYAM S4D NO IMGSRC BUTT YAY CAPSLOCKS DAY!
posted by Jeremy at 7:37 AM on October 22, 2007

PLZ CALL ALLLLGORE!!!!!!1!! THE CAPS ARE MELTING!!
posted by darkripper at 7:37 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

BRING ME MY BOW OF BURNING GOLD!!1!
BRING ME MY ARROWS OF DESIRE!!1!
BRING ME MY SPEAR, O CLOUDS UNFOLD!!1!1!!
BRING ME MY CHARIOT OF FIRE!11!!!

I WILL NOT CEASE FROM MENTAL FIGHT,
NOR SHALL MY SWORD SLEEP IN MY HAND,
TILL WE HAVE BUILT CAPS LOCK
IN ENGLAND'S GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:38 AM on October 22, 2007

ANAGRAMTASTIC!

LAD SPAY COCK LAD PAYS COCK YACK LAPS COD YACK SLAP DOC YACK SLAP COD YACK PALS DOC YACK PALS COD YACK PA SCOLD YACK PA CLODS YACK PA COLDS YACK PAS COLD YACK PAS CLOD YACK SPA COLD YACK SPA CLOD YACK SAP COLD YACK SAP CLOD YACK ASP COLD YACK ASP CLOD LAC DAYS POCK LAC DAY POCKS LAC YAPS DOCK LAC SPAY DOCK LAC PAYS DOCK LAC YAP DOCKS LAC PAY DOCKS CLAP DAY SOCK CLAP YAKS DOC CLAP YAKS COD CLAP YAK DOCS CLAP YAK CODS CLAP SAY DOCK CLAP YA DOCKS CLAP AY DOCKS CLASP YAK DOC CLASP YAK COD CLASP YA DOCK CLASP AY DOCK CLAPS YAK DOC CLAPS YAK COD CLAPS YA DOCK CLAPS AY DOCK SCALP YAK DOC SCALP YAK COD SCALP YA DOCK SCALP AY DOCK LACS DAY POCK LACS YAP DOCK LACS PAY DOCK SCALY AD POCK SCALY PA DOCK CLAYS AD POCK CLAYS PA DOCK CLAY AD POCKS CLAY PAD SOCK CLAY ADS POCK CLAY SAD POCK CLAY PA DOCKS CLAY PAS DOCK CLAY SPA DOCK CLAY SAP DOCK CLAY ASP DOCK LACY AD POCKS LACY PAD SOCK LACY ADS POCK LACY SAD POCK LACY PA DOCKS LACY PAS DOCK LACY SPA DOCK LACY SAP DOCK LACY ASP DOCK CAP ALKYD COS CAP LADY SOCK CAP DAYS LOCK CAP DAY LOCKS CAP YAKS COLD CAP YAKS CLOD CAP YAK SCOLD CAP YAK CLODS CAP YAK COLDS CAP SLAY DOCK CAP LAYS DOCK DAYS LAP COCK DAYS ALP COCK DAYS PAL COCK DAYS PA CLOCK DAY LAP COCKS DAY ALP COCKS DAY PAL COCKS DAY ALPS COCK DAY LAPS COCK DAY SLAP COCK DAY PALS COCK DAY PA CLOCKS DAY PAS CLOCK DAY SPA CLOCK DAY SAP CLOCK DAY ASP CLOCK A CLACK DO SPY A CAD LOCK SPY A CAD POCK SLY A CAD SOCK PLY A CAD CLOP SKY A CLAD COP SKY A LACK DOC SPY A LACK COD SPY A CALK DOC SPY A CALK COD SPY A PACK DOC SLY A PACK COD SLY A CASK DOC PLY
posted by sparkletone at 7:41 AM on October 22, 2007

CAPSLOCK SECRET!

I REALLY DON'T LIKE MY MOTHER VERY MUCH, BECAUSE SHE'S SUCH A TWEE RACIST.

SHHHHHH!
posted by Sparx at 7:42 AM on October 22, 2007

DON'T FORGET THIS IS A DAY TO REMEMBER THE ONE WHO CAN'T PARTECIPATE THIS IS NOT JUST A PARTY BUT A DAY OF AWARENESS

LOOK AT THE POOR BABBY
posted by darkripper at 7:44 AM on October 22, 2007

OMGWTFBBQ! I IS SO EXCITED TO BE IN THIS THREAD WITH ALL YOU COOL GUYZ!!!!1!
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:46 AM on October 22, 2007

(NOT CAPSLOCKIST)
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 7:49 AM on October 22, 2007

everytime you use capslock, god makes a fictional character gay.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:51 AM on October 22, 2007

EVERYTIME YOU USE CAPSLOCK, GOD MAKES A FICTIONAL CHARACTER GAY.

AT THIS POINT, THE 22ND OF THE OCTOBER IS THE ONLY REASON I TOLERATE HAVING THIS KEY ON MY LAPTOP.
posted by sparkletone at 7:54 AM on October 22, 2007

I AM SO PROWD TO BE THE FROST PISTOR OF THE YAD KCOL SPAC IN 2003 AND SEE TEH FYN TRADISHUN OF DEREK GO FOURTH INTO THE MEFEYE FUTCHUR!!!!!!
posted by quonsar at 7:55 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

(AND I'M FINE WITH GAY CHARACTERS. GOD CAN START WITH JESSICA FLETCHER AND WORK HIS WAY OUT FROM THERE. HOT AMIRITE?)
posted by sparkletone at 7:55 AM on October 22, 2007

WE HAVE CAPSLOCKS.
posted by eriko at 7:55 AM on October 22, 2007

everytime you use capslock, god makes a fictional character gay.

WHOPS THERE GOES ALVIN AND THE CHIPMONKS
posted by Greg Nog at 7:59 AM on October 22, 2007

10/22 NEVAR FORGET
posted by quonsar at 7:59 AM on October 22, 2007

NOTE:HELPMAINTAIN A HEALTHY, RESPECTFUL DISCUSSION BY FOCUSING COMMENTS ON THE ISSUES, TOPICS, AND FACTS AT HAND-NOT AT OTHER MEMBERS OF THE SITE. DICKWAD!!!!!!!!
posted by nola at 8:01 AM on October 22, 2007

SPAC SPAC SPAC!

I JUST LIKE SAYING SPAC!

SPAC SPAC SPAC!
posted by quonsar at 8:03 AM on October 22, 2007

*INSERTS EARPLUGS*
posted by Skygazer at 8:03 AM on October 22, 2007

I JUST LIKE SAYING SPAC!

A FRIEND OF MINE HAS PICKED UP A VERBAL TIC FROM FIREFLY DVD COMMENTARIES WHERE IF YOU PUT "SP" IN FOR THE FIRST SYLLABLE OF A WORD, IT MEANS THE SPACE VERSION OF THAT WORD.

HIS WIFE OWNS A MAC.

SO HE SAYS SPAC, LIKE, EVERYDAY!!

(BUT NOT IN CAPS)
posted by sparkletone at 8:05 AM on October 22, 2007

HEY. QUESTION. DOES PUTTING YOUR CAPS IN A SMALL TAG DEFEAT THE PURPOSE? THOUGHTS QUESTIONS? HUGS? MEFIMAILS? HOPES? DREAMS?
posted by sparkletone at 8:07 AM on October 22, 2007

... MUST GET MORE COFFEEEE TO READ THIS STUFF ... (THIS IS ONE OF THOSE MORNINGS WHEN BEING THREE HOURS BEHIND THE WEST COAST MEFI IS JUST PAINFUL.)
posted by Surfurrus at 8:13 AM on October 22, 2007

MY BROTHER (WELL, HIS WIFE REALLY) HAD A BABBY TODAY. I THINK THEY SHOULD NAME HER "CAPSLOCK".
posted by Rock Steady at 8:14 AM on October 22, 2007

 .--.  .--. .---.  .--.   .-.    .--.  .--. .-..-..-.

: .--': .; :: .; :: .--'  : :   : ,. :: .--': :' ;: :

: :   :    ::  _.'`. `.   : :   : :: :: :   :   ' : :

: :__ : :: :: :    _`, :  : :__ : :; :: :__ : :.`.:_;

`.__.':_;:_;:_;   `.__.'  :___.'`.__.'`.__.':_;:_;:_;

posted by phrontist at 8:15 AM on October 22, 2007

IM HOT CUZ IM CAPS U AINT CUZ UR NOT
posted by mullacc at 8:15 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

DO THEY HAVE CAPSLOCK DAY IN CUBA?

IT IS ILLEGAL TO ENTER CAPSLOCK DAY IN CUBA.
posted by oaf at 8:17 AM on October 22, 2007

THE WASTE LAND



I. THE BURIAL OF THE DEAD


APRIL IS THE CRUELLEST MONTH, BREEDING
LILACS OUT OF THE DEAD LAND, MIXING
MEMORY AND DESIRE, STIRRING
DULL ROOTS WITH SPRING RAIN.
WINTER KEPT US WARM, COVERING 5
EARTH IN FORGETFUL SNOW, FEEDING
A LITTLE LIFE WITH DRIED TUBERS.
SUMMER SURPRISED US, COMING OVER THE STARNBERGERSEE
WITH A SHOWER OF RAIN; WE STOPPED IN THE COLONNADE,
AND WENT ON IN SUNLIGHT, INTO THE HOFGARTEN, 10
AND DRANK COFFEE, AND TALKED FOR AN HOUR.
BIN GAR KEINE RUSSIN, STAMM' AUS LITAUEN, ECHT DEUTSCH.
AND WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN, STAYING AT THE ARCHDUKE'S,
MY COUSIN'S, HE TOOK ME OUT ON A SLED,
AND I WAS FRIGHTENED. HE SAID, MARIE, 15
MARIE, HOLD ON TIGHT. AND DOWN WE WENT.
IN THE MOUNTAINS, THERE YOU FEEL FREE.
I READ, MUCH OF THE NIGHT, AND GO SOUTH IN THE WINTER.

WHAT ARE THE ROOTS THAT CLUTCH, WHAT BRANCHES GROW
OUT OF THIS STONY RUBBISH? SON OF MAN, 20
YOU CANNOT SAY, OR GUESS, FOR YOU KNOW ONLY
A HEAP OF BROKEN IMAGES, WHERE THE SUN BEATS,
AND THE DEAD TREE GIVES NO SHELTER, THE CRICKET NO RELIEF,
AND THE DRY STONE NO SOUND OF WATER. ONLY
THERE IS SHADOW UNDER THIS RED ROCK, 25
(COME IN UNDER THE SHADOW OF THIS RED ROCK),
AND I WILL SHOW YOU SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM EITHER
YOUR SHADOW AT MORNING STRIDING BEHIND YOU
OR YOUR SHADOW AT EVENING RISING TO MEET YOU;
I WILL SHOW YOU FEAR IN A HANDFUL OF DUST. 30
FRISCH WEHT DER WIND
DER HEIMAT ZU.
MEIN IRISCH KIND,
WO WEILEST DU?
'YOU GAVE ME HYACINTHS FIRST A YEAR AGO; 35
'THEY CALLED ME THE HYACINTH GIRL.'
—YET WHEN WE CAME BACK, LATE, FROM THE HYACINTH GARDEN,
YOUR ARMS FULL, AND YOUR HAIR WET, I COULD NOT
SPEAK, AND MY EYES FAILED, I WAS NEITHER
LIVING NOR DEAD, AND I KNEW NOTHING, 40
LOOKING INTO THE HEART OF LIGHT, THE SILENCE.
OD' UND LEER DAS MEER.

MADAME SOSOSTRIS, FAMOUS CLAIRVOYANTE,
HAD A BAD COLD, NEVERTHELESS
IS KNOWN TO BE THE WISEST WOMAN IN EUROPE, 45
WITH A WICKED PACK OF CARDS. HERE, SAID SHE,
IS YOUR CARD, THE DROWNED PHOENICIAN SAILOR,
(THOSE ARE PEARLS THAT WERE HIS EYES. LOOK!)
HERE IS BELLADONNA, THE LADY OF THE ROCKS,
THE LADY OF SITUATIONS. 50
HERE IS THE MAN WITH THREE STAVES, AND HERE THE WHEEL,
AND HERE IS THE ONE-EYED MERCHANT, AND THIS CARD,
WHICH IS BLANK, IS SOMETHING HE CARRIES ON HIS BACK,
WHICH I AM FORBIDDEN TO SEE. I DO NOT FIND
THE HANGED MAN. FEAR DEATH BY WATER. 55
I SEE CROWDS OF PEOPLE, WALKING ROUND IN A RING.
THANK YOU. IF YOU SEE DEAR MRS. EQUITONE,
TELL HER I BRING THE HOROSCOPE MYSELF:
ONE MUST BE SO CAREFUL THESE DAYS.

UNREAL CITY, 60
UNDER THE BROWN FOG OF A WINTER DAWN,
A CROWD FLOWED OVER LONDON BRIDGE, SO MANY,
I HAD NOT THOUGHT DEATH HAD UNDONE SO MANY.
SIGHS, SHORT AND INFREQUENT, WERE EXHALED,
AND EACH MAN FIXED HIS EYES BEFORE HIS FEET. 65
FLOWED UP THE HILL AND DOWN KING WILLIAM STREET,
TO WHERE SAINT MARY WOOLNOTH KEPT THE HOURS
WITH A DEAD SOUND ON THE FINAL STROKE OF NINE.
THERE I SAW ONE I KNEW, AND STOPPED HIM, CRYING 'STETSON!
'YOU WHO WERE WITH ME IN THE SHIPS AT MYLAE! 70
'THAT CORPSE YOU PLANTED LAST YEAR IN YOUR GARDEN,
'HAS IT BEGUN TO SPROUT? WILL IT BLOOM THIS YEAR?
'OR HAS THE SUDDEN FROST DISTURBED ITS BED?
'OH KEEP THE DOG FAR HENCE, THAT'S FRIEND TO MEN,
'OR WITH HIS NAILS HE'LL DIG IT UP AGAIN! 75
'YOU! HYPOCRITE LECTEUR!—MON SEMBLABLE,—MON FRèRE!'

II. A GAME OF CHESS


THE CHAIR SHE SAT IN, LIKE A BURNISHED THRONE,
GLOWED ON THE MARBLE, WHERE THE GLASS
HELD UP BY STANDARDS WROUGHT WITH FRUITED VINES
FROM WHICH A GOLDEN CUPIDON PEEPED OUT 80
(ANOTHER HID HIS EYES BEHIND HIS WING)
DOUBLED THE FLAMES OF SEVENBRANCHED CANDELABRA
REFLECTING LIGHT UPON THE TABLE AS
THE GLITTER OF HER JEWELS ROSE TO MEET IT,
FROM SATIN CASES POURED IN RICH PROFUSION; 85
IN VIALS OF IVORY AND COLOURED GLASS
UNSTOPPERED, LURKED HER STRANGE SYNTHETIC PERFUMES,
UNGUENT, POWDERED, OR LIQUID—TROUBLED, CONFUSED
AND DROWNED THE SENSE IN ODOURS; STIRRED BY THE AIR
THAT FRESHENED FROM THE WINDOW, THESE ASCENDED 90
IN FATTENING THE PROLONGED CANDLE-FLAMES,
FLUNG THEIR SMOKE INTO THE LAQUEARIA,
STIRRING THE PATTERN ON THE COFFERED CEILING.
HUGE SEA-WOOD FED WITH COPPER
BURNED GREEN AND ORANGE, FRAMED BY THE COLOURED STONE, 95
IN WHICH SAD LIGHT A CARVèD DOLPHIN SWAM.
ABOVE THE ANTIQUE MANTEL WAS DISPLAYED
AS THOUGH A WINDOW GAVE UPON THE SYLVAN SCENE
THE CHANGE OF PHILOMEL, BY THE BARBAROUS KING
SO RUDELY FORCED; YET THERE THE NIGHTINGALE 100
FILLED ALL THE DESERT WITH INVIOLABLE VOICE
AND STILL SHE CRIED, AND STILL THE WORLD PURSUES,
'JUG JUG' TO DIRTY EARS.
AND OTHER WITHERED STUMPS OF TIME
WERE TOLD UPON THE WALLS; STARING FORMS 105
LEANED OUT, LEANING, HUSHING THE ROOM ENCLOSED.
FOOTSTEPS SHUFFLED ON THE STAIR.
UNDER THE FIRELIGHT, UNDER THE BRUSH, HER HAIR
SPREAD OUT IN FIERY POINTS
GLOWED INTO WORDS, THEN WOULD BE SAVAGELY STILL. 110

'MY NERVES ARE BAD TO-NIGHT. YES, BAD. STAY WITH ME.
'SPEAK TO ME. WHY DO YOU NEVER SPEAK? SPEAK.
'WHAT ARE YOU THINKING OF? WHAT THINKING? WHAT?
'I NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. THINK.'

I THINK WE ARE IN RATS' ALLEY 115
WHERE THE DEAD MEN LOST THEIR BONES.

'WHAT IS THAT NOISE?'
THE WIND UNDER THE DOOR.
'WHAT IS THAT NOISE NOW? WHAT IS THE WIND DOING?'
NOTHING AGAIN NOTHING. 120
'DO
'YOU KNOW NOTHING? DO YOU SEE NOTHING? DO YOU REMEMBER
'NOTHING?'
I REMEMBER
THOSE ARE PEARLS THAT WERE HIS EYES. 125
'ARE YOU ALIVE, OR NOT? IS THERE NOTHING IN YOUR HEAD?'
BUT
O O O O THAT SHAKESPEHERIAN RAG—
IT'S SO ELEGANT
SO INTELLIGENT 130
'WHAT SHALL I DO NOW? WHAT SHALL I DO?'
'I SHALL RUSH OUT AS I AM, AND WALK THE STREET
'WITH MY HAIR DOWN, SO. WHAT SHALL WE DO TO-MORROW?
'WHAT SHALL WE EVER DO?'
THE HOT WATER AT TEN. 135
AND IF IT RAINS, A CLOSED CAR AT FOUR.
AND WE SHALL PLAY A GAME OF CHESS,
PRESSING LIDLESS EYES AND WAITING FOR A KNOCK UPON THE DOOR.

WHEN LIL'S HUSBAND GOT DEMOBBED, I SAID—
I DIDN'T MINCE MY WORDS, I SAID TO HER MYSELF, 140
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
NOW ALBERT'S COMING BACK, MAKE YOURSELF A BIT SMART.
HE'LL WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU DONE WITH THAT MONEY HE GAVE YOU
TO GET YOURSELF SOME TEETH. HE DID, I WAS THERE.
YOU HAVE THEM ALL OUT, LIL, AND GET A NICE SET, 145
HE SAID, I SWEAR, I CAN'T BEAR TO LOOK AT YOU.
AND NO MORE CAN'T I, I SAID, AND THINK OF POOR ALBERT,
HE'S BEEN IN THE ARMY FOUR YEARS, HE WANTS A GOOD TIME,
AND IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT HIM, THERE'S OTHERS WILL, I SAID.
OH IS THERE, SHE SAID. SOMETHING O' THAT, I SAID. 150
THEN I'LL KNOW WHO TO THANK, SHE SAID, AND GIVE ME A STRAIGHT LOOK.
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT YOU CAN GET ON WITH IT, I SAID.
OTHERS CAN PICK AND CHOOSE IF YOU CAN'T.
BUT IF ALBERT MAKES OFF, IT WON'T BE FOR LACK OF TELLING. 155
YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED, I SAID, TO LOOK SO ANTIQUE.
(AND HER ONLY THIRTY-ONE.)
I CAN'T HELP IT, SHE SAID, PULLING A LONG FACE,
IT'S THEM PILLS I TOOK, TO BRING IT OFF, SHE SAID.
(SHE'S HAD FIVE ALREADY, AND NEARLY DIED OF YOUNG GEORGE.) 160
THE CHEMIST SAID IT WOULD BE ALRIGHT, BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN THE SAME.
YOU ARE A PROPER FOOL, I SAID.
WELL, IF ALBERT WON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE, THERE IT IS, I SAID,
WHAT YOU GET MARRIED FOR IF YOU DON'T WANT CHILDREN?
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME 165
WELL, THAT SUNDAY ALBERT WAS HOME, THEY HAD A HOT GAMMON,
AND THEY ASKED ME IN TO DINNER, TO GET THE BEAUTY OF IT HOT—
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME
GOONIGHT BILL. GOONIGHT LOU. GOONIGHT MAY. GOONIGHT. 170
TA TA. GOONIGHT. GOONIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, LADIES, GOOD NIGHT, SWEET LADIES, GOOD NIGHT, GOOD NIGHT.

III. THE FIRE SERMON


THE RIVER'S TENT IS BROKEN: THE LAST FINGERS OF LEAF
CLUTCH AND SINK INTO THE WET BANK. THE WIND
CROSSES THE BROWN LAND, UNHEARD. THE NYMPHS ARE DEPARTED. 175
SWEET THAMES, RUN SOFTLY, TILL I END MY SONG.
THE RIVER BEARS NO EMPTY BOTTLES, SANDWICH PAPERS,
SILK HANDKERCHIEFS, CARDBOARD BOXES, CIGARETTE ENDS
OR OTHER TESTIMONY OF SUMMER NIGHTS. THE NYMPHS ARE DEPARTED.
AND THEIR FRIENDS, THE LOITERING HEIRS OF CITY DIRECTORS; 180
DEPARTED, HAVE LEFT NO ADDRESSES.
BY THE WATERS OF LEMAN I SAT DOWN AND WEPT...
SWEET THAMES, RUN SOFTLY TILL I END MY SONG,
SWEET THAMES, RUN SOFTLY, FOR I SPEAK NOT LOUD OR LONG.
BUT AT MY BACK IN A COLD BLAST I HEAR 185
THE RATTLE OF THE BONES, AND CHUCKLE SPREAD FROM EAR TO EAR.

A RAT CREPT SOFTLY THROUGH THE VEGETATION
DRAGGING ITS SLIMY BELLY ON THE BANK
WHILE I WAS FISHING IN THE DULL CANAL
ON A WINTER EVENING ROUND BEHIND THE GASHOUSE 190
MUSING UPON THE KING MY BROTHER'S WRECK
AND ON THE KING MY FATHER'S DEATH BEFORE HIM.
WHITE BODIES NAKED ON THE LOW DAMP GROUND
AND BONES CAST IN A LITTLE LOW DRY GARRET,
RATTLED BY THE RAT'S FOOT ONLY, YEAR TO YEAR. 195
BUT AT MY BACK FROM TIME TO TIME I HEAR
THE SOUND OF HORNS AND MOTORS, WHICH SHALL BRING
SWEENEY TO MRS. PORTER IN THE SPRING.
O THE MOON SHONE BRIGHT ON MRS. PORTER
AND ON HER DAUGHTER 200
THEY WASH THEIR FEET IN SODA WATER
ET, O CES VOIX D'ENFANTS, CHANTANT DANS LA COUPOLE!

TWIT TWIT TWIT
JUG JUG JUG JUG JUG JUG
SO RUDELY FORC'D. 205
TEREU

UNREAL CITY
UNDER THE BROWN FOG OF A WINTER NOON
MR. EUGENIDES, THE SMYRNA MERCHANT
UNSHAVEN, WITH A POCKET FULL OF CURRANTS 210
C.I.F. LONDON: DOCUMENTS AT SIGHT,
ASKED ME IN DEMOTIC FRENCH
TO LUNCHEON AT THE CANNON STREET HOTEL
FOLLOWED BY A WEEKEND AT THE METROPOLE.

AT THE VIOLET HOUR, WHEN THE EYES AND BACK 215
TURN UPWARD FROM THE DESK, WHEN THE HUMAN ENGINE WAITS
LIKE A TAXI THROBBING WAITING,
I TIRESIAS, THOUGH BLIND, THROBBING BETWEEN TWO LIVES,
OLD MAN WITH WRINKLED FEMALE BREASTS, CAN SEE
AT THE VIOLET HOUR, THE EVENING HOUR THAT STRIVES 220
HOMEWARD, AND BRINGS THE SAILOR HOME FROM SEA,
THE TYPIST HOME AT TEATIME, CLEARS HER BREAKFAST, LIGHTS
HER STOVE, AND LAYS OUT FOOD IN TINS.
OUT OF THE WINDOW PERILOUSLY SPREAD
HER DRYING COMBINATIONS TOUCHED BY THE SUN'S LAST RAYS, 225
ON THE DIVAN ARE PILED (AT NIGHT HER BED)
STOCKINGS, SLIPPERS, CAMISOLES, AND STAYS.
I TIRESIAS, OLD MAN WITH WRINKLED DUGS
PERCEIVED THE SCENE, AND FORETOLD THE REST—
I TOO AWAITED THE EXPECTED GUEST. 230
HE, THE YOUNG MAN CARBUNCULAR, ARRIVES,
A SMALL HOUSE AGENT'S CLERK, WITH ONE BOLD STARE,
ONE OF THE LOW ON WHOM ASSURANCE SITS
AS A SILK HAT ON A BRADFORD MILLIONAIRE.
THE TIME IS NOW PROPITIOUS, AS HE GUESSES, 235
THE MEAL IS ENDED, SHE IS BORED AND TIRED,
ENDEAVOURS TO ENGAGE HER IN CARESSES
WHICH STILL ARE UNREPROVED, IF UNDESIRED.
FLUSHED AND DECIDED, HE ASSAULTS AT ONCE;
EXPLORING HANDS ENCOUNTER NO DEFENCE; 240
HIS VANITY REQUIRES NO RESPONSE,
AND MAKES A WELCOME OF INDIFFERENCE.
(AND I TIRESIAS HAVE FORESUFFERED ALL
ENACTED ON THIS SAME DIVAN OR BED;
I WHO HAVE SAT BY THEBES BELOW THE WALL 245
AND WALKED AMONG THE LOWEST OF THE DEAD.)
BESTOWS ON FINAL PATRONISING KISS,
AND GROPES HIS WAY, FINDING THE STAIRS UNLIT...

SHE TURNS AND LOOKS A MOMENT IN THE GLASS,
HARDLY AWARE OF HER DEPARTED LOVER; 250
HER BRAIN ALLOWS ONE HALF-FORMED THOUGHT TO PASS:
'WELL NOW THAT'S DONE: AND I'M GLAD IT'S OVER.'
WHEN LOVELY WOMAN STOOPS TO FOLLY AND
PACES ABOUT HER ROOM AGAIN, ALONE,
SHE SMOOTHES HER HAIR WITH AUTOMATIC HAND, 255
AND PUTS A RECORD ON THE GRAMOPHONE.

'THIS MUSIC CREPT BY ME UPON THE WATERS'
AND ALONG THE STRAND, UP QUEEN VICTORIA STREET.
O CITY CITY, I CAN SOMETIMES HEAR
BESIDE A PUBLIC BAR IN LOWER THAMES STREET, 260
THE PLEASANT WHINING OF A MANDOLINE
AND A CLATTER AND A CHATTER FROM WITHIN
WHERE FISHMEN LOUNGE AT NOON: WHERE THE WALLS
OF MAGNUS MARTYR HOLD
INEXPLICABLE SPLENDOUR OF IONIAN WHITE AND GOLD. 265

THE RIVER SWEATS
OIL AND TAR
THE BARGES DRIFT
WITH THE TURNING TIDE
RED SAILS 270
WIDE
TO LEEWARD, SWING ON THE HEAVY SPAR.
THE BARGES WASH
DRIFTING LOGS
DOWN GREENWICH REACH 275
PAST THE ISLE OF DOGS.
WEIALALA LEIA
WALLALA LEIALALA

ELIZABETH AND LEICESTER
BEATING OARS 280
THE STERN WAS FORMED
A GILDED SHELL
RED AND GOLD
THE BRISK SWELL
RIPPLED BOTH SHORES 285
SOUTHWEST WIND
CARRIED DOWN STREAM
THE PEAL OF BELLS
WHITE TOWERS
WEIALALA LEIA 290
WALLALA LEIALALA

'TRAMS AND DUSTY TREES.
HIGHBURY BORE ME. RICHMOND AND KEW
UNDID ME. BY RICHMOND I RAISED MY KNEES
SUPINE ON THE FLOOR OF A NARROW CANOE.' 295
'MY FEET ARE AT MOORGATE, AND MY HEART
UNDER MY FEET. AFTER THE EVENT
HE WEPT. HE PROMISED "A NEW START".
I MADE NO COMMENT. WHAT SHOULD I RESENT?'
'ON MARGATE SANDS. 300
I CAN CONNECT
NOTHING WITH NOTHING.
THE BROKEN FINGERNAILS OF DIRTY HANDS.
MY PEOPLE HUMBLE PEOPLE WHO EXPECT
NOTHING.' 305
LA LA

TO CARTHAGE THEN I CAME

BURNING BURNING BURNING BURNING
O LORD THOU PLUCKEST ME OUT
O LORD THOU PLUCKEST 310

BURNING

IV. DEATH BY WATER


PHLEBAS THE PHOENICIAN, A FORTNIGHT DEAD,
FORGOT THE CRY OF GULLS, AND THE DEEP SEAS SWELL
AND THE PROFIT AND LOSS.
A CURRENT UNDER SEA 315
PICKED HIS BONES IN WHISPERS. AS HE ROSE AND FELL
HE PASSED THE STAGES OF HIS AGE AND YOUTH
ENTERING THE WHIRLPOOL.
GENTILE OR JEW
O YOU WHO TURN THE WHEEL AND LOOK TO WINDWARD, 320
CONSIDER PHLEBAS, WHO WAS ONCE HANDSOME AND TALL AS YOU.

V. WHAT THE THUNDER SAID


AFTER THE TORCHLIGHT RED ON SWEATY FACES
AFTER THE FROSTY SILENCE IN THE GARDENS
AFTER THE AGONY IN STONY PLACES
THE SHOUTING AND THE CRYING 325
PRISON AND PLACE AND REVERBERATION
OF THUNDER OF SPRING OVER DISTANT MOUNTAINS
HE WHO WAS LIVING IS NOW DEAD
WE WHO WERE LIVING ARE NOW DYING
WITH A LITTLE PATIENCE 330

HERE IS NO WATER BUT ONLY ROCK
ROCK AND NO WATER AND THE SANDY ROAD
THE ROAD WINDING ABOVE AMONG THE MOUNTAINS
WHICH ARE MOUNTAINS OF ROCK WITHOUT WATER
IF THERE WERE WATER WE SHOULD STOP AND DRINK 335
AMONGST THE ROCK ONE CANNOT STOP OR THINK
SWEAT IS DRY AND FEET ARE IN THE SAND
IF THERE WERE ONLY WATER AMONGST THE ROCK
DEAD MOUNTAIN MOUTH OF CARIOUS TEETH THAT CANNOT SPIT
HERE ONE CAN NEITHER STAND NOR LIE NOR SIT 340
THERE IS NOT EVEN SILENCE IN THE MOUNTAINS
BUT DRY STERILE THUNDER WITHOUT RAIN
THERE IS NOT EVEN SOLITUDE IN THE MOUNTAINS
BUT RED SULLEN FACES SNEER AND SNARL
FROM DOORS OF MUDCRACKED HOUSES
IF THERE WERE WATER 345
AND NO ROCK
IF THERE WERE ROCK
AND ALSO WATER
AND WATER
A SPRING 350
A POOL AMONG THE ROCK
IF THERE WERE THE SOUND OF WATER ONLY
NOT THE CICADA
AND DRY GRASS SINGING
BUT SOUND OF WATER OVER A ROCK 355
WHERE THE HERMIT-THRUSH SINGS IN THE PINE TREES
DRIP DROP DRIP DROP DROP DROP DROP
BUT THERE IS NO WATER

WHO IS THE THIRD WHO WALKS ALWAYS BESIDE YOU?
WHEN I COUNT, THERE ARE ONLY YOU AND I TOGETHER 360
BUT WHEN I LOOK AHEAD UP THE WHITE ROAD
THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER ONE WALKING BESIDE YOU
GLIDING WRAPT IN A BROWN MANTLE, HOODED
I DO NOT KNOW WHETHER A MAN OR A WOMAN
—BUT WHO IS THAT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF YOU? 365

WHAT IS THAT SOUND HIGH IN THE AIR
MURMUR OF MATERNAL LAMENTATION
WHO ARE THOSE HOODED HORDES SWARMING
OVER ENDLESS PLAINS, STUMBLING IN CRACKED EARTH
RINGED BY THE FLAT HORIZON ONLY 370
WHAT IS THE CITY OVER THE MOUNTAINS
CRACKS AND REFORMS AND BURSTS IN THE VIOLET AIR
FALLING TOWERS
JERUSALEM ATHENS ALEXANDRIA
VIENNA LONDON 375
UNREAL

A WOMAN DREW HER LONG BLACK HAIR OUT TIGHT
AND FIDDLED WHISPER MUSIC ON THOSE STRINGS
AND BATS WITH BABY FACES IN THE VIOLET LIGHT
WHISTLED, AND BEAT THEIR WINGS 380
AND CRAWLED HEAD DOWNWARD DOWN A BLACKENED WALL
AND UPSIDE DOWN IN AIR WERE TOWERS
TOLLING REMINISCENT BELLS, THAT KEPT THE HOURS
AND VOICES SINGING OUT OF EMPTY CISTERNS AND EXHAUSTED WELLS.

IN THIS DECAYED HOLE AMONG THE MOUNTAINS 385
IN THE FAINT MOONLIGHT, THE GRASS IS SINGING
OVER THE TUMBLED GRAVES, ABOUT THE CHAPEL
THERE IS THE EMPTY CHAPEL, ONLY THE WIND'S HOME.
IT HAS NO WINDOWS, AND THE DOOR SWINGS,
DRY BONES CAN HARM NO ONE. 390
ONLY A COCK STOOD ON THE ROOFTREE
CO CO RICO CO CO RICO
IN A FLASH OF LIGHTNING. THEN A DAMP GUST
BRINGING RAIN

GANGA WAS SUNKEN, AND THE LIMP LEAVES 395
WAITED FOR RAIN, WHILE THE BLACK CLOUDS
GATHERED FAR DISTANT, OVER HIMAVANT.
THE JUNGLE CROUCHED, HUMPED IN SILENCE.
THEN SPOKE THE THUNDER
D A 400
DATTA: WHAT HAVE WE GIVEN?
MY FRIEND, BLOOD SHAKING MY HEART
THE AWFUL DARING OF A MOMENT'S SURRENDER
WHICH AN AGE OF PRUDENCE CAN NEVER RETRACT
BY THIS, AND THIS ONLY, WE HAVE EXISTED 405
WHICH IS NOT TO BE FOUND IN OUR OBITUARIES
OR IN MEMORIES DRAPED BY THE BENEFICENT SPIDER
OR UNDER SEALS BROKEN BY THE LEAN SOLICITOR
IN OUR EMPTY ROOMS
D A 410
DAYADHVAM: I HAVE HEARD THE KEY
TURN IN THE DOOR ONCE AND TURN ONCE ONLY
WE THINK OF THE KEY, EACH IN HIS PRISON
THINKING OF THE KEY, EACH CONFIRMS A PRISON
ONLY AT NIGHTFALL, AETHERIAL RUMOURS 415
REVIVE FOR A MOMENT A BROKEN CORIOLANUS
D A
DAMYATA: THE BOAT RESPONDED
GAILY, TO THE HAND EXPERT WITH SAIL AND OAR
THE SEA WAS CALM, YOUR HEART WOULD HAVE RESPONDED 420
GAILY, WHEN INVITED, BEATING OBEDIENT
TO CONTROLLING HANDS

I SAT UPON THE SHORE
FISHING, WITH THE ARID PLAIN BEHIND ME
SHALL I AT LEAST SET MY LANDS IN ORDER? 425

LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN FALLING DOWN FALLING DOWN

POI S'ASCOSE NEL FOCO CHE GLI AFFINA
QUANDO FIAM CEU CHELIDON—O SWALLOW SWALLOW
LE PRINCE D'AQUITAINE à LA TOUR ABOLIE
THESE FRAGMENTS I HAVE SHORED AGAINST MY RUINS 430
WHY THEN ILE FIT YOU. HIERONYMO'S MAD AGAINE.
DATTA. DAYADHVAM. DAMYATA.

SHANTIH SHANTIH SHANTIH
posted by exlotuseater at 8:21 AM on October 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

2 CENTS
posted by Debaser626 at 8:27 AM on October 22, 2007

PLEASE CANCEL THIS METAFILTER I WANT MY YAHOO BACK
posted by Elmore at 8:31 AM on October 22, 2007

WHAT'S HE THAT WISHES SO?
MY COUSIN WESTMORELAND? NO, MY FAIR COUSIN;
IF WE ARE MARK'D TO DIE, WE ARE ENOW
TO DO OUR COUNTRY LOSS; AND IF TO LIVE,
THE FEWER MEN, THE GREATER SHARE OF HONOUR.
GOD'S WILL! I PRAY THEE, WISH NOT ONE MAN MORE.
BY JOVE, I AM NOT COVETOUS FOR GOLD,
NOR CARE I WHO DOTH FEED UPON MY COST;
IT YEARNS ME NOT IF MEN MY GARMENTS WEAR;
SUCH OUTWARD THINGS DWELL NOT IN MY DESIRES.
BUT IF IT BE A SIN TO COVET HONOUR,
I AM THE MOST OFFENDING SOUL ALIVE.
NO, FAITH, MY COZ, WISH NOT A MAN FROM ENGLAND.
GOD'S PEACE! I WOULD NOT LOSE SO GREAT AN HONOUR
AS ONE MAN MORE METHINKS WOULD SHARE FROM ME
FOR THE BEST HOPE I HAVE. O, DO NOT WISH ONE MORE!
RATHER PROCLAIM IT, WESTMORELAND, THROUGH MY HOST,
THAT HE WHICH HATH NO STOMACH TO THIS FIGHT,
LET HIM DEPART; HIS PASSPORT SHALL BE MADE,
AND CROWNS FOR CONVOY PUT INTO HIS PURSE;
WE WOULD NOT DIE IN THAT MAN'S COMPANY
THAT FEARS HIS FELLOWSHIP TO DIE WITH US.
THIS DAY IS CALL'D THE FEAST OF CAPSIAN.
HE THAT OUTLIVES THIS DAY, AND COMES SAFE HOME,
WILL STAND A TIP-TOE WHEN THIS DAY IS NAM'D,
AND ROUSE HIM AT THE NAME OF CAPSIAN.
HE THAT SHALL LIVE THIS DAY, AND SEE OLD AGE,
WILL YEARLY ON THE VIGIL FEAST HIS NEIGHBOURS,
AND SAY 'TO-MORROW IS SAINT CAPSIAN.'
THEN WILL HE STRIP HIS SLEEVE AND SHOW HIS SCARS,
AND SAY 'THESE WOUNDS I HAD ON CAPSIAN'S DAY.'
OLD MEN FORGET; YET ALL SHALL BE FORGOT,
BUT HE'LL REMEMBER, WITH ADVANTAGES,
WHAT FEATS HE DID THAT DAY. THEN SHALL OUR NAMES,
FAMILIAR IN HIS MOUTH AS HOUSEHOLD WORDS-
HARRY THE KING, BEDFORD AND EXETER,
WARWICK AND TALBOT, SALISBURY AND GLOUCESTER-
BE IN THEIR FLOWING CUPS FRESHLY REMEMB'RED.
THIS STORY SHALL THE GOOD MAN TEACH HIS SON;
AND CAPSLOCK CAPSIAN SHALL NE'ER GO BY,
FROM THIS DAY TO THE ENDING OF THE WORLD,
BUT WE IN IT SHALL BE REMEMBERED-
WE FEW, WE HAPPY FEW, WE BAND OF BROTHERS;
FOR HE TO-DAY THAT SHEDS HIS BLOOD WITH ME
SHALL BE MY BROTHER; BE HE NE'ER SO VILE,
THIS DAY SHALL GENTLE HIS CONDITION;
AND GENTLEMEN IN ENGLAND NOW-A-BED
SHALL THINK THEMSELVES ACCURS'D THEY WERE NOT HERE,
AND HOLD THEIR MANHOODS CHEAP WHILES ANY SPEAKS
THAT FOUGHT WITH US UPON SAINT CAPSLOCK'S DAY.
posted by sparkletone at 8:34 AM on October 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

THE ROAR IS DEAFENING IN HERE.

DIDJA KNOW THAT CAPSICUM IS CAP LOCK PR0N?
posted by nickyskye at 8:36 AM on October 22, 2007

Ironic... the link to the site isn't written in caps.
posted by AspectRatio at 8:42 AM on October 22, 2007

FFS I HAD THREE PRESENTATIONS TODAY AND NONE OF THEM ARE IN CAPS... NOOOO !!!!!
posted by cavalier at 8:54 AM on October 22, 2007

4 OUT OF 5 DOCTORS AGREE.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:56 AM on October 22, 2007

FOR SALE: A 1993 TOYOTA COROLLA. COMES FULLY EQUIPPED WITH PW, PB, ZQYZR, ABS, ZHYP AND THE OPTION EVERYONE WANTS, GTK. THIS CAR IS A GREAT GAS SAVER, CALL TODAY FOR A GREAT DEAL.
posted by 517 at 9:03 AM on October 22, 2007

WHERE ARE THE ELEPHANTS?
posted by ericb at 9:04 AM on October 22, 2007

FINDING CAPS LOCK PR0N WAS HARD. HAD TO TRY AND MAKE SOME MYSELF. GO GO RULE 34.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:04 AM on October 22, 2007 [4 favorites]

ALL CAPS MAKES BABY JESUS CRY
posted by empatterson at 9:05 AM on October 22, 2007

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY MODERN CAPS LOCK DAY CELEBRATIONS SEEM TO INVOLVE SWITCHING FROM NORMAL, CIVILIZED LANGUAGE TO HYPERACTIVE RAVING WITH CHILDLIKE GRAMMAR. I LONG FOR THE DAY WHEN CAPS LOCK DAY WAS STILL ABOUT THE GLORIOUS MESSAGE, THE GOSPEL OF THE CAPS LOCK.
posted by Anything at 9:06 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

CAPSLORKDAY IS ALSO MY BURTHDAY AND ALSO MALIBU IS BURNING
posted by eyeballkid at 9:10 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

i am such a fucking rebel
posted by 0xFCAF at 9:12 AM on October 22, 2007

I LONG FOR THE DAY WHEN CAPS LOCK DAY WAS STILL ABOUT THE GLORIOUS MESSAGE, THE GOSPEL OF THE CAPS LOCK.

ANYTHING'S PROFILE: JOINED OCTOBER 27, 2006

YOU'VE NEVER PARTICIPATED IN A CRAPS LROC DAY! SUCK IT N00BZORZ! LAWLZEZ!!!!1!!1111ONE!!!!ELEVEN!!!!
posted by eyeballkid at 9:13 AM on October 22, 2007

4 IMMIDIATE RELAESE:
BC REQUIRES WELL CAPS TO PROTECT GROUNDWATER
UR LIFES DEPNED UPRON POEPLE WHO CAPS WELL.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:13 AM on October 22, 2007

ALL CAPS MAKES BABY JESUS CRY

TEARS OF PURE FUCKING JOY.
posted by sparkletone at 9:14 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

IF EVERYTHING IS IN CAPS LOCK, THEN HOW DO I INDICATE YELLING WHEN I WANT TO YELL "PENIS"?
posted by dios at 9:23 AM on October 22, 2007

YOUR COMICS KICK ASS

YOU SHOULD WRITE MORE

DON'T FRONT - WRITE ANOTHER COMIC
posted by alexwoods at 9:24 AM on October 22, 2007

THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING, MY SHIFT KEY IS ASLEEP
AND THE ESCAPE WENT BACK TO NEW YORK, THE PRINTSCREEN HAS TO TAKE A LEAK
AND THE PAGE UP NEEDS A HAIRCUT, AND THE BACKSPACE LOOKS LIKE A PRISON BREAK
AND THE RETURN'S OUT OF CIGARETTES, AND THE CONTROL IS ON THE MAKE
AND THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING, THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING...
AND THE ELEPHANTS ARE ALL FREEZING, AND THE HOWIE'S BLIND IN ONE EYE
AND HE CAN'T SEE OUT OF THE OTHER
AND THE CAPSLOCKER'S GOT A HEARING AID, AND HE SHOWED UP WITH HIS MOTHER
AND THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING, THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING
AS THE ALT KEY IS A SUMO WRESTLER CREAM-PUFF CASPER MILKTOAST
AND THE HOWIE IS A MENTAL MIDGET WITH THE IQ OF A FENCE POST
'CAUSE THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING, THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING...
AND YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR ADMIN WITH A GEIGER COUNTER
AND SHE HATES YOU AND YOUR WORDS AND YOU JUST CAN'T POST WITHOUT HER
AND THE METATALK IS DROOLING, AND THE COMMENT BOX IS ON FIRE
AND THE RSS WERE FOOLING, AND THE PREVIEWS HAVE RETIRED
BECAUSE THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING, THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING
THE CAPSLOCK HAS BEEN DRINKING, NOT ME, NOT ME, NOT ME, NOT ME, NOT ME...
posted by sparkletone at 9:27 AM on October 22, 2007 [5 favorites]

MOTHS DRINK BABY JESUS'S TEARS WHILE HE SLEEPS
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:28 AM on October 22, 2007

MOAR HELPFUL INFO FROM THE KCDS' LINKAGE TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS THE AWESOMEST THING EVAR. JUST BY PRESSING THE THE "CAPS LOCK" BUTTON AND THEN PROCEEDING TO TYPE NORMALLY, YOU'LL SOON BECOME NOTICED BY EVERYONE. PEOPLE WILL START TAKING YOU MORE SERIOUSLY OL AND YOU'LL SOON BECOME AN IMPORTANT AND RESPECTED INTERNETS USER. TEHY WILL FIND EVERYTHING YOU SAY TERRIBLY INTERESTING AND INSIGHTFUL, MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER WILL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND YOU'LL BECOME EXTREMELY GOOD IN BED.
posted by spinturtle at 9:28 AM on October 22, 2007

BABY JEEZUS TEARS R MADE OF CRY JUICE
posted by jefbla at 9:33 AM on October 22, 2007

SHOUTING THREAD! I DON'T WANT TO WORK TODAAAAAAAAY OOPS SORRY WRONG SITE.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:44 AM on October 22, 2007

Thank you all for reminding me how much 98% of internet discussion fucking sucks, and how much I appreciate Metafilter.
posted by Kwine at 9:45 AM on October 22, 2007

YARRR, WHY NOT COMBINE THE THREE GRRRRRRREATEST DAYS OF THE YEAR, WOT WOT?
posted by blue_beetle at 9:46 AM on October 22, 2007

SURELY THE COMING OF CAPS LOCK DAY AND THE ADVENT OF MEFIMAIL CANNOT BE COINCIDENTAL!
posted by shmegegge at 9:48 AM on October 22, 2007

DIOS USE THE BLINK TAG OR MAYBE MARQUEE TAG WHEN YOU SHOUT ON ALL CAPS DAY.
posted by boo_radley at 9:49 AM on October 22, 2007

wat is cap locks
posted by not_on_display at 9:50 AM on October 22, 2007

THIS IS FUN TO MAKE A BLOG ON THE COMPUTER WEBSITE. THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE WEBSITE FOR THIS TOPIC AND HOLIDAY. I AM TOO LAZY TO CHECK THE THREAD TO SEE IF SOMEONE ELSE HAS ALREADY POSTED IT.
posted by unknowncommand at 9:53 AM on October 22, 2007

SO I REALLY LOVE THE NEW SEASON OF HEROES AND ALL. MY FRIENDS AND I WATCH IT ON WEDNESDAYS BECAUSE WE HAVE MEETINGS ON MONDAY AND TUESDAY NIGHTS. ANYWAY, SO WE WATCH IT, AND EVERY TIME THAT CUTE BLONDE CHICK COMES ON SCREEN, WE ALL SING THAT PHANTOM PLANET SONG THAT WAS THE THEME FOR THE OC - DUHNUHNAHNAHNUHDUHNUHNAHNHANNUH DUHNUHNUHNUHNAH NAH NAHHHHH. IT STARTED SPONTANEOUSLY, AND NOW WE DO IT ALL THE TIME. IT'S GREAT

ANYWAY, THAT'S WHAT THIS THREAD MEANS TO ME.
posted by dismas at 9:54 AM on October 22, 2007

RED FLAG WARNING
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE AUSTIN/SAN ANTONIO TX
1120 AM CDT MON OCT 22 2007

...A RED FLAG WARNING IS IN EFFECT THIS AFTERNOON FOR PORTIONS OF
THE EDWARDS PLATEAU...MIDDLE RIO GRANDE VALLEY AND PLAINS DUE TO
BREEZY AND VERY DRY CONDITIONS...

.AN INTENSIFYING UPPER LEVEL LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM HAS PUSHED A COLD
FRONT ACROSS SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS. IN THE WAKE OF THE FRONTAL
BOUNDARY...MUCH COOLER AND DRIER AIR WILL FILTER INTO SOUTH CENTRAL
TEXAS. ACCOMPANYING THE COOLER AIR WILL BE STRONG AND GUSTY
NORTHERLY WINDS. THIS INVADING AIRMASS WILL LOWER RELATIVE
HUMIDITIES TO CRITICAL LEVELS OF AT OR BELOW 25 PERCENT WITH
NORTHERLY 20 FOOT WIND SPEEDS OF 15 TO 20 MPH THROUGH MUCH OF
THIS AFTERNOON.

TXZ183-184-202-217-222300-
/O.UPG.KEWX.FW.A.0009.071022T1800Z-071022T2300Z/
/O.NEW.KEWX.FW.W.0011.071022T1800Z-071022T2300Z/
/O.NEW.KEWX.FW.A.0010.071023T1700Z-071023T2300Z/
VAL VERDE-EDWARDS-KINNEY-MAVERICK-
1120 AM CDT MON OCT 22 2007

...RED FLAG WARNING IN EFFECT FROM 1 PM TO 6 PM CDT THIS
AFTERNOON...

...FIRE WEATHER WATCH IN EFFECT TUESDAY AFTERNOON...

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN AUSTIN/SAN ANTONIO HAS ISSUED A
RED FLAG WARNING...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 1 PM TO 6 PM CDT THIS
AFTERNOON. A NEW FIRE WEATHER WATCH HAS ALSO BEEN ISSUED. THIS NEW
FIRE WEATHER WATCH IS IN EFFECT TUESDAY AFTERNOON.

NORTHERLY WINDS OF 15 TO 20 MPH COUPLED WITH MINIMUM RELATIVE
HUMIDITIES THIS AFTERNOON AT OR BELOW 25 PERCENT WILL LEAD TO
CONDITIONS CONDUCIVE TO THE SPREAD OF WILDFIRES.

A RED FLAG WARNING MEANS WEATHER CONDITIONS WILL PROMOTE FIRES
THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO CONTROL ACROSS THE WARNED AREA. A RED FLAG
WARNING IS COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM A LOCAL BURN BAN WHICH IS
ISSUED BY LOCAL OFFICIALS.

A FIRE WEATHER WATCH MEANS WEATHER CONDITIONS ARE EXPECTED TO
PROMOTE FIRES THAT WILL BE DIFFICULT TO CONTROL ACROSS THE WATCH
AREA. A FIRE WEATHER WATCH IS COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM A LOCAL
BURN BAN WHICH IS ISSUED BY LOCAL OFFICIALS.

$$
posted by Catfry at 9:58 AM on October 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

HAY ANYONE WANT COUPONS FOR OJ (LOL)???!
posted by heeeraldo at 9:59 AM on October 22, 2007

BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY? BUT WHEN IS COPY-PASTE DAY?
posted by chairface at 10:03 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

HAY ANYONE WANT COUPONS FOR OJ (LOL)???!

HEY. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT

IN / RAINBOWS
IN RAIN/BOWS
IN RAINBOW/S
IN RAIN_BOWS
RADIOHEA_D
RADIO_HEA D

IT'S FREE IF YOU WANT IT TO BE.

PS: JAMES BROWN IS DEAD
posted by sparkletone at 10:05 AM on October 22, 2007

TODD LOKKEN
posted by grouse at 10:05 AM on October 22, 2007

IN THE JUNGLE, THE MIGHTY JUNGLE, THE CAPS LOCK SLEEPS TONIGHT
posted by Lucinda at 10:06 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

AWEEMOWEH
posted by boo_radley at 10:13 AM on October 22, 2007

I BOUGHT A CAPS TO KEEP MY EARS WARM BUT NOW IT WONT COME OFF BECAUSE ITS CAPS LOCK DAY
posted by DMan at 10:15 AM on October 22, 2007

FIRST!
posted by CitizenD at 10:28 AM on October 22, 2007

FRIST!
posted by eyeballkid at 10:31 AM on October 22, 2007

today is truely a day for capslokken* {TEXT-TRANSFORM: UPPERCASE;}
posted by Xoder at 10:35 AM on October 22, 2007

Nerds, indeed.

Somehow equating THIS with "yelling" or being obnoxious has to be the geekiest thing in the internet.
posted by wfc123 at 10:37 AM on October 22, 2007

TERRORSIT THREAT FOR DICTATOR MATHEW HOWIE:

IMG TAG PLZKTHX OR I WILL DYE THE SERVERS RED & COVER WITH LEDS, ALSO WHITE POWDER (FLOUR) = PWNED BY TERROR
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:37 AM on October 22, 2007

I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO NOW

SHAKY, VERY SHAKY
posted by disclaimer at 10:53 AM on October 22, 2007

COCKSLAP!
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:01 AM on October 22, 2007

THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS THREAD IS WHEN YOU LEAVE IT AND REALIZE THAT YOUR CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS STILL ON.
posted by 517 at 11:03 AM on October 22, 2007

MY CAPS won’t lock, sorry.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:05 AM on October 22, 2007

STAGE WHISPER IN CYBERLAND
posted by tritisan at 11:10 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

GREG NORG IS A GRATE POSTER. V. EFFICSHENT COMMS. AAA+++ WOULD READ AGAIN.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:13 AM on October 22, 2007

HOW DO YOU MAKE THE LETTERS BE LITTLE? NOT UNCAPSLOCKED, BUT TINYLETTERS LIKE A WHISPER. IF I LEARN THIS TODAY, THEN BEST HOLIDAY EVAR. TRUE.
posted by spinturtle at 11:18 AM on October 22, 2007

ON HALLOWEEN I GET TO DRESS UP LIKE A FREAK AND DANCE AROUND. BUT ON CAPS LOCK DAY I GET TO DRESS UP LIKE MYSELF ONLY LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD.
posted by Football Bat at 11:18 AM on October 22, 2007

GO RED SOX!
posted by ericb at 11:21 AM on October 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

1.MILK
2.BREAD
3.BEER
4.TOILET PAPER
posted by hojoki at 11:22 AM on October 22, 2007

I ENJOY THIS DAY BECAUSE THIS IS ACTUALLY HOW I TALK. IT'S KIND OF SAD USUALLY, BUT NOT TODAY!
posted by unknowncommand at 11:36 AM on October 22, 2007

I WROTE A SHORT STORY FOR CAPSLOCK DAY ABOUT THE GRUFF AND IRASCIBLE SHIPS CAPTAIN "CAP" LOCK AND HIS DIMWITTED BUT LOVABLE FIRST MATE SHIFTY
posted by yhbc at 11:38 AM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

THAT WAS IT
posted by yhbc at 11:38 AM on October 22, 2007

DID I MISS IT?
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:44 AM on October 22, 2007

BOY DO I MISS METAFILTER
posted by gohlkus at 11:46 AM on October 22, 2007

STAY ON TARGET. STAY ON TARGET.
posted by crunchywelch at 12:00 PM on October 22, 2007

PERFECTLY LOCATED ON A DEAD END STREET-INTERIOR FRESHLY PAINTED BEAUTIFULY HARDWOOD FLOORS-NEW LINO IN KITCHEN FORMAL DINING ROOM WITH SLIDER TO PRIVATE BKYD WITH BUILT-IN BRICK BAR-B-QUE & COVERED PATIO
posted by octothorpe at 12:01 PM on October 22, 2007

WELCOME TO CAPITAL CITY: YOU CAN CHECK OUT ANYTIME YOU LIKE, BUT CAPS LOCK SAYS YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:02 PM on October 22, 2007

  _____          _____   _____       _           

 / ____|   /\   |  __ \ / ____|     (_)          

| |       /  \  | |__) | (___ ______ _  ___ _ __ 

| |      / /\ \ |  ___/ \___ \______| |/ _ \ '__|

| |____ / ____ \| |     ____) |     | |  __/ |   

 \_____/_/    \_\_|    |_____/      |_|\___|_|   

                                                 

...THAN THOU.
posted by everichon at 12:02 PM on October 22, 2007

DAMMIT SEDUCED BY A NONWORKING PRE TAG
posted by everichon at 12:02 PM on October 22, 2007

Ssssh! The baby is sleeping!
Goddamn baby-wakin' mefites and their caps locks.
posted by jrossi4r at 12:23 PM on October 22, 2007

METAFILTER: STAGE WHISPER IN CYBERLAND
posted by Mental Wimp at 12:37 PM on October 22, 2007

CAPSLOCK? YES!!!! I APPROVE!!!!!
posted by brundlefly at 12:38 PM on October 22, 2007

I AM LOOKING FOR A USED CAR.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 12:50 PM on October 22, 2007

WELL PLAYED , EXLOTUSEATER, SIR
posted by sushiwiththejury at 12:53 PM on October 22, 2007

ARGH
posted by sushiwiththejury at 12:56 PM on October 22, 2007

FATHER DEAR. BE, YOUR FATHER-GOOD AND GOOD,
HE IS GOOD NOW, IT IS NOT GOOD TO SEE IT RAIN,
FATHER DEAR IS, IT, DEAR, NO FATHER DEAR,
LOVE, YOU DEAR,
ESTLIN.

EE 'DOC' CUMMINGS
posted by Devonian at 1:05 PM on October 22, 2007

NO ONE EVEN READS ANYTHING ON CAPS LOCK DAY, THEY JUST GO RIGHT TO THE COMMENT BOX AND MAKE A COMMENT THAT NO ONE ELSE WILL READ, EITHER.
posted by shmegegge at 1:10 PM on October 22, 2007

I READ ALL OF THIS THREAD WITH MY CAPSLOCK ON BITCH
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:11 PM on October 22, 2007

YAAAAAY.

DEAR METAFILTER, THIS IS WHY I'M HERE. FOR THREADS LIKE THIS ONE.
posted by spiderskull at 1:14 PM on October 22, 2007

ALWAYS BE MINE

VIVA FOREVER

I'LL BE WAITING

EVERLASTING LIKE THE SUN

LIVE FOREVER

FOR THE MOMENT

EVER SEARCHING FOR THE ONE
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:23 PM on October 22, 2007

NO ONE EVEN READS ANYTHING ON CAPS LOCK DAY, THEY JUST GO RIGHT TO THE COMMENT BOX AND MAKE A COMMENT THAT NO ONE ELSE WILL READ, EITHER.

WHILE IT'S TRUE THAT I IGNORE OTHER THREADS ON CAPS LOCK DAY, I WOULD NEVER EVER SKIP ANYTHING IN A CAPS LOCK DAY THREAD.

IT'D BE LIKE GOING TO A CHRISTMAS EVE CHURCH SERVICE AND CHATTERING ON YOUR CELLPHONE THE WHOLE TIME.
posted by sparkletone at 1:31 PM on October 22, 2007

DVNO
FOUR CAPITAL LETTERS
PRINTED IN GOLD
'CAUSE DETAILS MAKE THE GIRLS SWEAT EVEN MORE
WHILE THEY'RE SHAKING THEIR BELT
NO NEED TO ASK MY NAME
TO FIGURE OUT HOW COOL I AM
posted by sparkletone at 1:33 PM on October 22, 2007

>
posted by dmd at 1:35 PM on October 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

DEAR MAURY, I LOVE YOUR SHOW, PLEASE LET ME COME B ON IT MYDAD IS OBEESE AND I WANT TO TELL HIM ABUOT MY BABY RIGHT NOW HE JUST THINKS IM OBEESE 2 LIK EHIM BUT IM HAVE A BABY. I WATCH YOUR SHOW EVERY DAY AND WOULD BE A GOOD GEUST ON IT!!!
posted by hermitosis at 1:55 PM on October 22, 2007

WAIT JUST A DOGGONE MINUTE!!!

ACCORDING TO GREG NOG'S 'MORAN INSIDE' 'PREVIOSLEES', THERE WERE FOUR, I SAID FOUR PREVIOUS CAPS LOCK DAY THREADS, ALL WITH A SINGLE LINK TO THE SAME WEBPAGE!

THAT MAKES THIS NOT JUST A DOUBLE POST, TRIPLE POST OR QUADRUPLE POST BUT A QUINTUPLE POST!!!

WHERE ARE THE MODERATORS?
WHERE ARE THE GUIDELINES?
WHERE ARE THE METATALK CALL-OUTS?
IF YOU THINK I'M GONNA BE THE ONE TO POST THIS TO METATALK, YOU SERIOUSLY OVERESTIMATE MY MASOCHISTIC TENDENCIES

ALSO, THE 'OFFICIAL' INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY WEB PAGE HAS AN ANIMATED GIF OF SOMEBODY POLISHING THE MCDONALDS GOLDEN ARCHES. DID YOU KNOW THAT TODAY IS ALSO $1 BIG MAC MONDAY? COINCIDENCE? MAYBE. ADVERTISING SELLOUT? MORE LIKELY.

WHEW! TYPING IN CAPS LOCK CLEARS MY LUNGS BETTER THAN A THREE-MINUTE COUGHING FIT! HOW DOES IT DO IT? I MAY HAVE TO MAKE EVERY MONDAY MY PERSONAL CAPS LOCK DAY.

AND WHY DOES APPLE HATE CAPS LOCK?
posted by wendell at 2:47 PM on October 22, 2007

OMG THIS IS THE BEST HOLUDAY EBVAR
posted by davros42 at 2:58 PM on October 22, 2007

AND WHY DOES APPLE HATE CAPS LOCK?

THEY DON'T HATE IT. THEY JUST WANT IT TO ONLY BE USED WHEN YOU REALLY MEAN IT.

THINK OF IT AS LIKE PUTTING A SAFETY ON YOUR GUN!

I ONLY FIRE THE FINEST IN HAND-MADE SATURDAY NIGHT SPECAILS.
posted by sparkletone at 3:09 PM on October 22, 2007

my eyes!
posted by gummi at 3:37 PM on October 22, 2007

REPENT
THE END IS EXTREMELY FUCKING NIGH
posted by Neilopolis at 3:44 PM on October 22, 2007

MY CAPS

THEY ARE LOCKED

O FUCK I WAS WARNED THEY WOULD STICK LIKE THIS IF I CAPSLOCKED TOO OFTEN BUT DID I LISTEN NOOOOOOO
posted by Pallas Athena at 4:02 PM on October 22, 2007