Britain's Weirdest Tombstones

October 29, 2007 11:58 PM

IN MEMORY OF
HANNAH TWYNNOY
Who died October 23rd 1703
Aged 33 Years.
In bloom of Life
She’s snatched from hence,
She had not room
To make defence;
For Tyger fierce
Took Life Away.
And here she lies
In a bed of Clay,
Until the Resurrection Day

In anticipation of Halloween, BBC History magazine announces the winner (pdf link) of its "Mysterious Memorials" contest. (It's not the one above.) View the complete list of runners-up here.
posted by saslett (9 comments total)

I always liked the one with where the first letter of each line spelled out a message.

If I were to write a memorial to this thread it would start with "Though it used too many lines on the front page..."
posted by jeblis at 12:22 AM on October 30, 2007 [1 favorite]

Here it is
posted by jeblis at 12:28 AM on October 30, 2007

What makes that memorial weird? She was killed by a tiger? Am I annoyed because it's eating the front page, or because it's not funny, or both? Oi, snarking is hard. (After RTFA: Yes, she was maybe the first British person to die to a tiger)

The winner is a tombstone which, in a spreadsheet, depicts the 28 dates (and quantities of liquid, totalling 315 gallons!) the deceased was tapped for ascites. Hot. "The logical explanation is that the tombstone was paid for by the doctors mentioned in the epitaph and amounts to an early example of brazen advertising."
posted by mek at 2:18 AM on October 30, 2007

I TAWT
I TAW A
PUDDY
TAT.
❧ ❧ ❧ ❧
I DID!
posted by rob511 at 2:58 AM on October 30, 2007

This reminds me of Postman's Park in Central London, which doesn't have tombstones, but a plinth filled with ceramic epitaphs of ordinary people who died heroically/stupidly trying to save other people. A sort of Victorian Darwin Awards. Lots more here.
posted by randomination at 3:35 AM on October 30, 2007

Let us not forget the The Gashlycrumb Tinies, by Edwar Gorey, certainly a masterpiece of the genre.

A is for AMY who fell down the stairs.
B is for BASIL assaulted by bears.
C is for CLARA who wasted away.
D is for DESMOND thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for ERNEST who choked on a peach.
F is for FANNY sucked dry by a leech.
G is for GEORGE smothered under a rug.
H is for HECTOR done in by a thug.
I is for IDA who drowned in a lake.
J if for JAMES who took lye by mistake.
K is for KATE who was struck with an axe.
L is for LEO who swallowed some tacks.
M is for MAUD who was swept out to sea.
N is for NEVILLE who died of ennui.
O is for OLIVE run through with an awl.
P is for PRUE trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for QUENTIN who sank in a mire.
R is for RHODA Consumed by a fire.
S is for SUSAN who perished of fits.
T is for TITUS who flew into bits.
U is for UNA who slipped down a drain.
V is for VICTOR squashed under a train.
W is for WINNIE embedded in ice.
X is for XERXES devoured by mice.
Y is for YORICK whose head was knocked in.
Z is for ZILLAH who drank too much gin.


Here it is (until Geocities crahes, anyway) with illustrations.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:15 AM on October 30, 2007 [2 favorites]

Oh, spellcheck. EdwarD.
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:16 AM on October 30, 2007

Then there was Albert and the Lion.
posted by adamvasco at 4:50 AM on October 30, 2007

This reminds me of Postman's Park in Central London, which doesn't have tombstones, but a plinth filled with ceramic epitaphs of ordinary people who died heroically/stupidly trying to save other people. A sort of Victorian Darwin Awards. Lots more here

Is it always stupid to try to save other people? Unless it is, I don't really see what's stupid about these particular people.
posted by Dolukhanova at 12:03 PM on October 30, 2007