Cheating on your spouse just got that much easier!Yeah, till you turn up and it's your other half on the date.
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So this woman comes in and she is just drop dead gorgeous. Probably in her 40s and turning heads all over the place. Classy clothes, fashionable, engaging, lively. She sits down and orders a nice glass of wine and awaits her beau.
The gentleman she's meeting comes in a bit later, introduces himself at the host stand as the other "It's Just Lunch" attendee, and is shown to the table.
Never in the world of online dating has there been a worse mismatch. A far cry from the elegant and stylish woman he was there to meet, he is literally wearing denim overalls over a plaid flannel shirt. I shit you not. "Potato faced" doesn't even begin to describe him. Knob nose, knotty hands, the whole deal...this guy literally looks like he could have been working the thresher that very morning.
Now, not to denigrate the fine workers of the agricultural industry, of which there are many in Minnesota, but this was in a suburb of the cities and the two could not have been more incompatible. The look on her face when he introduced himself was priceless- pale and shocked. They sat down and engaged in some cursory chit-chat, which was obviously stilted and hampered by her furious attempts to cover her absolute mortification. It was quite obvious that he was aware. It was quickly discovered that they had nothing whatsoever in common, other than certain biological propensities for eating, breathing, and such.
She proceeded to have several glasses of wine. Several. The gentleman excused himself from the table to use the facilities, and she jumped on the opportunity. She hurried over to the host stand and pleaded with the hostess, "Please dear, I need to get out of this now! I'm going to go back over there and sit down, when he gets back come over and tell me that I have an urgent phone call. I'll go back, tell him it's my daughter and that there's an emergency, and that I have to leave. I'll leave cash for the waiter."
The hostess was reluctant, but the woman's sheer desperation was unerringly persuasive. She played her part in the scheme, which was doubtless quite transparent to the poor gentleman. She made all of her bullshit excuses and left in quite a hurry.
He sat alone and drank some beer for a while. Otherwise, it must have been a good meal.
posted by baphomet at 9:44 AM on November 7, 2007 [24 favorites]