Have a Bowl of Cereal, Make a Bowl of Gut Chutney.

November 12, 2007 9:02 AM

The latest All-Bran commercial really pushes out the product's virtues, although not without making a stink. Personally, I still prefer a heaping bowl of Colon Blow.
posted by brain_drain (53 comments total)

If the advertising agencies are looking for ways to get us TiVo users to stop skipping their commercials, this is it. A few weeks ago, my wife called me in from the other room to see this commercial. Neither of us could completely believe that Kellogg's would approve an idea so, um, moving.
posted by Lord Kinbote at 9:12 AM on November 12, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

That's way less disgusting than the anthropomorphic mucus ads.
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:13 AM on November 12, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

This is also a good example of why not to not hire the lowest bidder on your construction job.
posted by zek at 9:22 AM on November 12, 2007

It could double as an outtake from 'Idiocracy'.
posted by ardgedee at 9:24 AM on November 12, 2007

Those mucus ads are gross, but I'll raise you a "demadophite" lifting a toe nail like the hood of a car. Gross!

I think the Bran ad is brilliant. Smart attack plan for the ad agency. People are talking about it.
posted by JBennett at 9:25 AM on November 12, 2007

From the Slate article:

I immediately went online to watch it again, thinking: Did those barrels actually plop out from behind that guy's butt?

Good lord, does the author have kids? How will she handle changing a diaper?

Also, that ad is funny as hell.
posted by Potsy at 9:34 AM on November 12, 2007

I like the toilet paper ads where the cartoon bears worry about ass lint. Those are cool.
posted by mediareport at 9:37 AM on November 12, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Now, whenever I think of dumping a load, I'll think of All Bran. I won't buy it or eat it, but I will think of it.

Another case of a commercial that develops product awareness but forgets to develop customer desire for the product.
posted by tommasz at 9:42 AM on November 12, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

this is a shitty ad
posted by growabrain at 9:46 AM on November 12, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]

Pepsi Brown
posted by milquetoast at 9:48 AM on November 12, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

I'll see your fecal-tinged breakfast cereal and raise you a misogynistic condo.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 9:48 AM on November 12, 2007

see your toenail, and raise you a brain and a lung.
posted by progosk at 9:51 AM on November 12, 2007

That is the first commercial to make me laugh in a while. It sure beats a couple of old bags at the breakfast table talking about it. Hard to make bran sexy, but at least they made it funny.
posted by 45moore45 at 9:56 AM on November 12, 2007

If the advertising agencies are looking for ways to get us TiVo users to stop skipping their commercials, this is it

But if you use the 30-second-skip button, you don't even know these commercials exist until you see them on the web. Which is fine by me. Neat commercial in any case; shame All-Bran is sweetened with aspartame and tastes funny as a result (this coming from someone who buys Diet Cherry Pepsi by the truckload when it's on sale).
posted by uncleozzy at 10:00 AM on November 12, 2007

Also, that ad is funny as hell.
posted by Potsy at 12:34 PM on November 12 [+] [!]

Eponysterical!
posted by ericb at 10:00 AM on November 12, 2007

Only Americans would debate and discuss a clever ad like this.

In other places, a funny ad like this entertains and is forgotten about in 5 minutes.

This is why most ads here are so bland and unfunny. Everyone's afraid of offending the bible belt.

Phil Hartman ad: I always hated SNL's piping in the audio of the audience reaction to the fake ads.
posted by wfc123 at 10:04 AM on November 12, 2007

They should do another ad, but instead of a construction worker, they could have a baker piping frosting onto a cake or pouring out a bag of chocolate chips into a bowl.

Also, reminds me of this:
This New Toilet Paper Is So Soft And Absorbent!
posted by jefbla at 10:07 AM on November 12, 2007

The ad is "disgusting"? That slate writer needs to get out more.
posted by delmoi at 10:20 AM on November 12, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

The visual puns in this ad are so bold—and so disgusting—that when I first saw it, I couldn't quite believe what I'd seen.

Disgusting? Really? When all is said and done, it's just barrels rolling off a truck. Yeah, we all know what it signifies, but it's not like it puts some kind of graphic image in our heads.

For comparison, I offer this "ad" for Brown 25, from The Groove Tube. [WARNING: Not safe for work. Or snack time.]
posted by PlusDistance at 10:26 AM on November 12, 2007

I don't know if anyone's likely to outdo (for possibly less-than-desirable product associations) the Quizno's "raised by wolves" ad any time soon.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:26 AM on November 12, 2007

A month-old Slate column. Huh.
posted by desuetude at 10:43 AM on November 12, 2007

God, it's been YEARS since I saw the Groove Tube, and I still think that ad is probably the funniest thing in it. Thanks, PlusDistance.
posted by 40 Watt at 10:48 AM on November 12, 2007

...the Quizno's "raised by wolves"

Having not seen that one before, I had to "look-it-up."

Quiznos: Raised by Wolves.
posted by ericb at 10:50 AM on November 12, 2007

are these the same people who get freaked out over tampon commercials & women breast feeding their kids? as someone who never defecates--or has any biological functions for that matter--i've always been curious.
posted by msconduct at 10:51 AM on November 12, 2007

The "licky" version that you linked to, ericb, is (I think) kind of cute. But it's a tamed-down version of the original, in which the fellow was suckling at mama wolf's (husky's) teat.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:55 AM on November 12, 2007

You mean you guys have never seen the cute heroic squirrel?
posted by romakimmy at 11:01 AM on November 12, 2007

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA POOP POOP POOP FART FART FART

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FARRRRRRRT

PFFFRRRRTTT

EEE HEE HEE HEE HEE I WOULD SELL MY CHILDREN TO FART AGAIN HONH HONH HONH HONH HONH HONH

POOPING

...

There. Now THAT's a commercial.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:02 AM on November 12, 2007

...Kellogg's spokeswoman Allison Costello...

interesting.
posted by ianaces at 11:03 AM on November 12, 2007

see your toenail, and raise you a brain and a lung.
posted by progosk at 12:51 PM on November 12 [+] [!]

How about that lengthy, gratuitous ass-shot in the second video? That's what I can an an uncanny valley.
posted by The Bellman at 11:06 AM on November 12, 2007

MetaFilter: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA POOP POOP POOP FART FART FART
posted by Mikey-San at 11:11 AM on November 12, 2007

Poops he blew.
posted by Reggie Digest at 11:18 AM on November 12, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

can = call. Got can on the brain, I guess.
posted by The Bellman at 11:23 AM on November 12, 2007

The "licky" version that you linked to, ericb, is (I think) kind of cute. But it's a tamed-down version of the original, in which the fellow was suckling at mama wolf's (husky's) teat.

Oh -- and surprise, surprise -- upon 'Googling' for it one finds that Slate also wrote about that commercial:

Suckling Sucks -- "A Quiznos ad proves that not all publicity is good."

posted by ericb at 11:26 AM on November 12, 2007

Urigrow. Oops.
posted by Reggie Digest at 11:34 AM on November 12, 2007

I went to college with the fella in the Quizno's commercial who was not raised by wolves. Nice guy.
posted by Dr. Wu at 11:59 AM on November 12, 2007

In before "Americans are stupid and their ads suck." Oh, too late. :-( I like a lot of US commercials. They just involve less humorous nudity and innuendo. Those are saved for Europe and the ABC specials where they show "outrageous commercials," I suppose.
posted by fructose at 12:02 PM on November 12, 2007

Quiznos had a spectacularly disgusting one that involved a well-dressed young woman pulling a half eaten sandwich out of a trashcan, on the street. I only saw it about twice before they pulled it. I could not believe they did not immediately fire the ad agency, along with anyone who thought that was a good idea.
posted by unrepentanthippie at 12:19 PM on November 12, 2007

If one's had a tad much of that all bran: How To Poop At Work

Adding to the pooptacularity...

Ninja poop fight.

Civet cat poop coffee.

Japanese poop hat.

Facts about poop.

My Cat, The Poop Coach
posted by nickyskye at 12:29 PM on November 12, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

excretion is a crime
posted by tehloki at 12:36 PM on November 12, 2007

This Gas-X commercial is a classic. Everything the speaker says is a fart reference.
posted by mike3k at 12:39 PM on November 12, 2007

I had to watch it again. I can't believe that there wasn't a cement mixer shot. Maybe that wouldn't be such a positive thought for the commercial.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 12:41 PM on November 12, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

God that was lame. After having not had a television for almost two years now, it's painfully obvious how soulless and weak this shit is. No, not funny, not disgusting, not interesting, not clever.
posted by odinsdream at 12:43 PM on November 12, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

odinsdream: sounds like you need more fiber in your diet!
posted by brain_drain at 12:53 PM on November 12, 2007

diet? he needs to mainline a wicker basket. anything less will only make that dismissive disposition angry.
posted by tehloki at 1:00 PM on November 12, 2007

I liked the ad, but then I eat All Bran every day, so it's not a hard sell for me.
posted by runkelfinker at 1:54 PM on November 12, 2007

I tried eating All Bran once a day for a week. It was like a freight train running through my intestines. No sir, I don't like it.
posted by Justinian at 2:20 PM on November 12, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

What's funnier to me is the wordless female voice singing "la la la la la la la la la la la la" in the background as the ad ends. It seems to imply that even a burly construction worker will start singing happily like a little girl once All-Bran gets him regular again.
posted by jonp72 at 2:31 PM on November 12, 2007

They just involve less humorous nudity and innuendo.

And lots of people SHOUTING at you, about how they've got the best deals in town. And cars. Cars. Always, with the interminable cars.

BTW, how does 'sluggish' get to be a euphemism for constipated? Does it mean you've got a big brown slug curled up in your colon or what?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:09 PM on November 12, 2007

I guess sluggish is similar to tired or weary. Hauling around several pounds of fecal matter for a few weeks can be pretty tiring. Not to mention gross. Especially if you're not carrying it in your colon. Which I don't recommend.
posted by hojoki at 6:07 PM on November 12, 2007

oh, and: Buckley's has also jumped on the gross bandwagon (albeit somewhat more subtly).
posted by progosk at 12:06 AM on November 13, 2007

It's not quite like the Tonight Show skit where Johnny Carson is describing a hemorrhoid ointment, then takes his glasses off and sucks on one earpiece...but I'll take it.
posted by pax digita at 5:15 AM on November 13, 2007

Who DOES number 2 work for?
posted by blue_beetle at 8:51 AM on November 22, 2007

Who DOES number 2 work for?

That's easy. Alexander Waverly.
posted by ericb at 7:30 PM on November 24, 2007