"You know Rudolph and Frosty, Kris Kringle and Ralphie . . . "

November 21, 2007 3:22 PM

Park your carcass in front of the TV for the next six weeks. Here is the upcoming broadcast schedule for every show that has even the tiniest connection to The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.
posted by Kibbutz (31 comments total)

Is this something my heart would have to grow three sizes to understand?
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:28 PM on November 21, 2007 [4 favorites]

Uh by "every show" what you actaully mean is "every show in the USA" right?
posted by davebushe at 3:36 PM on November 21, 2007

By "TV" you mean that magic talking box, right? And a show is that stuff inbetween the commercials, right? And The Most Wonderful Time of the Year is every second of every Bass And Rankin movie, right?

And why do they make Pringles cans so narrow? Can't they make them with extra wide holes for men?
posted by stavrogin at 3:44 PM on November 21, 2007

Must.
Resist.
Urge.
To.
Self-link.
To.
Article.
About.
Thanksgiving.
TV.
Marathons.
but mine includes snarky comments about Bear Grylls, Tyler Perry and Jamie Kennedy! and otherwise how would you know when you could find Ren & Stimpy, Alfred Hitchcock, Andy Hardy or Sherman tanks on TV?
posted by wendell at 3:45 PM on November 21, 2007

The school used as a location in "A Christmas Story" sits a mere 200 yards from my house. Jealous?
posted by davebush at 3:52 PM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

This will wend... Oh, hi!
posted by loquacious at 3:54 PM on November 21, 2007

And why do they make Pringles cans so narrow? Can't they make them with extra wide holes for men?

I am soooo not going there.
posted by miss lynnster at 3:56 PM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

We gather together to watch cheesy movies
At Comedy Central on Thanksgiving Day
With Mystery Science Theater 3000
Cause we're the biggest fans and we love Turkey Day
Tried to find the song itself but no luck.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:09 PM on November 21, 2007

Brought to you and your family, by our family, at Dolly Madison Cakes & Pies.

Which always confused the hell out of me ... why would they advertise a cake that didn't exist in my neck of the woods?
posted by R. Mutt at 4:17 PM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is this something I'd have to be near-suicidal to understand?
posted by whir at 4:23 PM on November 21, 2007

Is this something I have to understand?
posted by ZachsMind at 4:26 PM on November 21, 2007 [2 favorites]

Priss Pringle thinks you're being naughty. So very naughty.
posted by hal9k at 4:26 PM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think my Thursday will be reserved for those annual Thanksgiving Star Wars marathons.

After that, one screening each of Ernest Saves Christmas, Gremlins, Muppets Christmas Carol, Nat. Lampoons Christmas Vacation, and some Garfield Christmas is usually all I need to get in the mood.

Useful list tho...
posted by pilibeen at 4:28 PM on November 21, 2007

What's a MRUTSTAATTM?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:33 PM on November 21, 2007

davebushe: yeah, but all the good stuff has been moved to the Cleve.

But yes, I also mention that to everyone who brings up A Christmas Story. St. Kitts pride!!!
posted by mzanatta at 4:37 PM on November 21, 2007

Is this something I'd have to be near-suicidal to understand?

No, but given my experience with Christmas programming, after six constant weeks of it, 'near-suicidal' will just begin to describe your condition.

Though I always appreciate any excuse to re-watch Scrooged, Bad Santa, and Die Hard. The kind movies which best reflect the spirit of the holidays.
posted by quin at 4:39 PM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

i don't even own a tv. this boggles me.
posted by mr_book at 5:00 PM on November 21, 2007

St. Kitts pride indeed, mzanatta. BTW - I'm the bush without an "e"
posted by davebush at 5:19 PM on November 21, 2007

I actually have a carcass and have been wondering what to do with it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:24 PM on November 21, 2007

The school used as a location in "A Christmas Story" sits a mere 200 yards from my house

davebush: As a Christmas Story (and Shep) afficionado, my understanding is that that school is in Ontario (where I was born). True?

Excelsior!
posted by Turtles all the way down at 5:28 PM on November 21, 2007

You know that Ralphie and Vince Vaughn are really close friends?

Take that, davebush.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:32 PM on November 21, 2007

I'm not seeing The Muppet Christmas Carol (or A Muppet Family Christmas, or John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together for that matter).

Boo.

Of course in Canada I'll be able to watch the Trailer Park Boys Christmas Special. Because the real meaning of Christmas is getting drunk and stoned with your family and friends.

Has anyone else ever seen the Dave Foley Christmas special that was on a couple of years ago, or did I hallucinate it? Dave and Joe Flaherty did a spoof of the Bing and Bowie Little Drummer Boy incident that remains one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Where do the monsters go at Christmas?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:34 PM on November 21, 2007

Stupid no-can-read eyes! Sorry there, davebush.

And yes Turtles, it's in St. Catharines, Ontario.
posted by mzanatta at 5:47 PM on November 21, 2007

Which always confused the hell out of me ... why would they advertise a cake that didn't exist in my neck of the woods?

I see Walmart commercials all the time and there isn't one in NYC.


John Denver and the Muppets: A Christmas Together

One of my absolute favorites. Two songs I must listen to at Christmas time are John Lennon's Happy Christmas (War is Over) and John Denver and the Muppets' version of The Twelve Days of Christmas.
posted by cmgonzalez at 6:27 PM on November 21, 2007

Where do the monsters go at Christmas?

Walgreens.
posted by humannaire at 6:50 PM on November 21, 2007

Not one single showing anywhere of "Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol"? OH NO-O-O-O!!! For those of us attempting to grow up in the Early 1960s, Magoo WAS Scrooge. And in some strange way, for me, he still is.

Priss Pringle thinks you're being naughty.
And just a few days ago, this thread probably would have degenerated into offensive jokes about the size of Priss Pringle's can hole. But it didn't, and for that we should all be proud. But now that I've mentioned it, we are probably doomed.

And how often do we have a thread with two people participating whose MetaNames are identical except for one letter? It's a Christmas Miracle, I tell ya! Oops. I think I just shot my eye out.
posted by wendell at 6:53 PM on November 21, 2007

While I like the assonance of the carcass parking, I really must object that I am not dead yet.
posted by jessamyn at 9:44 PM on November 21, 2007

Wow, so many Christmas specials to choose from! Looks like I died and went to hell early this year!
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:51 PM on November 21, 2007 [1 favorite]

Parkyakarkas was the stage name of a comedian of the 1930s-50s whose greatest accomplishment was being the father of Albert Brooks.

...or you can park your carcass at Harvard Yard.
But say it like a Kennedy.
posted by wendell at 9:53 PM on November 21, 2007

Huh. Albert Brooks and "Super Dave" Osborne are brothers! I've already learned something, and I'm only 1:03 into the day. Thanks, wendell!
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:04 PM on November 21, 2007

No "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? Bummer.
posted by evilcolonel at 11:18 AM on November 22, 2007