Things happen when you wear ELEGANZA!

November 29, 2007 5:20 AM

Fashion ads from Ebony Magazine, 1970 - '76
posted by XQUZYPHYR (88 comments total)

LOLFRO

I can't see what's so funny about this. And what's he standing behind....wait a minute....THOSE ARE PANTS??

That mocked, some of these are pretty sweet. Not that I'd wear them myself. [NOTRACISTJUSTFASHIONSLACKER]
posted by DU at 5:30 AM on November 29, 2007

Sweet.

I mean Baadasssss
posted by chillmost at 5:42 AM on November 29, 2007

Ace x 10. A more hopeful, optimistic time means better threads. And hats. Cheers for the post!
posted by The Salaryman at 5:44 AM on November 29, 2007

Well, let me be first to say....

just trying to get ahead of the curve
posted by fuse theorem at 5:49 AM on November 29, 2007

One word: Eleganza!
posted by tommasz at 5:51 AM on November 29, 2007

delightful
thanks
posted by nicolin at 5:51 AM on November 29, 2007

LOLCOLRZ.

Molten-hot Goodwill find, any of this stuff.
posted by Pecinpah at 5:53 AM on November 29, 2007

I would wear those pants.

And things would happen.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:53 AM on November 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

Wasn't there a recent post here that did the same with a 1970's Sears catalog?

Actually, I rather like this coat, assuming that the pointy collar is a result of the shirt underneath. And if you smoothed the texture instead of the popcorn knit, this would make a great superhero costume.
posted by Karmakaze at 6:11 AM on November 29, 2007

I heart 70's fashion. This reminds me of Catalog Man.
posted by Stewriffic at 6:19 AM on November 29, 2007

Outta sight! Those nine inch dog ear collars just wouldn't have looked right without the puffy sleeves, and man, there they are. Groovy.
posted by hojoki at 6:22 AM on November 29, 2007

That King Collar is mine.
posted by fungible at 6:25 AM on November 29, 2007

I'm envisioning a great SNL skit in which a nerdy white person wears these clothes in 2007. It will be turned into a really crappy movie version in 2009.
posted by spock at 6:29 AM on November 29, 2007

Fun blog, good find, nice post, many thanks.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:35 AM on November 29, 2007

All joking aside, I would totally buy that first coat, top left. But popcorn knit is one of the most horrible ideas ever.
posted by cobaltnine at 6:36 AM on November 29, 2007

I'm envisioning a great SNL skit in which a nerdy white person wears these clothes...."
posted by louche mustachio at 6:40 AM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Say a whole lot more in FLAGG's exclusive SHOW-IT-LIKE-IT-IS! 100% polyester knit has a super see-thru texture and form-fitting appeal.

I'm going to knit one right now.

(However, this one? Rather hot.)
posted by Katemonkey at 6:40 AM on November 29, 2007

Dazzle camouflage pants -- for when you absolutely positively can't let people know which direction you're walking. Makes a great gift that says "Honey, you remind me of a liberty ship."
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:47 AM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

In semi-seriousness, why is it that a black dude can wear a bright red or blue suit and look good, but I (a honky) would just look goofy (more so)?

Is it just a cultural thing, where I'm used to seeing black men wear stuff like that? Or is it something to do with different colors looking better next to brown skin than pinkish?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:49 AM on November 29, 2007

good god
posted by delmoi at 6:54 AM on November 29, 2007

Oh man, these are awesome.

Reminds me a bit of a non-anachronistic International Male.
posted by biscotti at 7:23 AM on November 29, 2007

Xenophobe-

I think it comes down to a matter of taste. At one point I used to get laughed at by some for having a chocolate brown pinstripe suit. Others would comment on how nice it was. I think if you wear anything with confidence it can look good. Even 9 inch dog eared collar shirts.
posted by hexxed at 7:26 AM on November 29, 2007

Where are these clothes today? They never show up at thrift stores.

Which is probably for the best, because I would wear them, at that would be ridiculous.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:28 AM on November 29, 2007

These are seriously sweet and I would like to see a comeback for, like, 75% of those looks.
posted by LeeJay at 7:29 AM on November 29, 2007

Two belts. Yes.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:38 AM on November 29, 2007

The collars were so big that if you tripped, you'd fly. Solid!
posted by doctorschlock at 7:43 AM on November 29, 2007

First there was a flying elephant.
Then there was the Flying Nun.
Now.... just look at those collars!
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:44 AM on November 29, 2007

Growing up in Detroit, these were THE clothes, man! I always wanted stuff like that. I'm glad I couldn't get them, because I was a 12 year old white boy, and I don't think they would have suited me.
posted by The Deej at 7:44 AM on November 29, 2007

My best friends father when I was a kid dressed like that and he was a bad mother-father. Superfly bad! One slick mother!
posted by doctorschlock at 7:45 AM on November 29, 2007

because I was a 12 year old white boy, and I don't think they would have suited me.
Deej! Dude, half the white kids I knew here in D.C. dressed like that. They were sly, slick, and wicked. I mean look at the fashions of the Brady Bunch. They were the same thing except a different color.
posted by doctorschlock at 7:48 AM on November 29, 2007

In semi-seriousness, why is it that a black dude can wear a bright red or blue suit and look good, but I (a honky) would just look goofy (more so)?

It's confidence mixed with a bit of cultural expectation. It's the same for dancing-- a black guy on the dance floor isn't worrying what other people think while I turn into a self-conscious mannequin.

You might laugh a bit at Michael Irvin's canary-yellow suit, but he wouldn't care if you did-- he knows that he's still cooler than you.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:52 AM on November 29, 2007

I blame Arthur Ashe for the glasses.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:53 AM on November 29, 2007

Man, black guys always look completely awesome. If I wore any of these clothes I would look... merely 'dashing'.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:58 AM on November 29, 2007

Where are these clothes today? They never show up at thrift stores.
These wonderful fashions were made of synthetic fibers.
Just go to any landfill or dump and dig at least five feet down.
You'll hit a rainbow of colors. Dig, my brother,dig. Pull up a truck and load up because these babies are undamaged and are as fresh as the day they were buried.
posted by doctorschlock at 8:00 AM on November 29, 2007 [7 favorites]

Dash on brother!
posted by doctorschlock at 8:00 AM on November 29, 2007

Funky. My parents had loads of old Ebony and Jet magazines in the basement. [beauty of the week/teenage fantasy comment redacted]
posted by cashman at 8:02 AM on November 29, 2007

My goodness ... that is full of clothing I want.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:07 AM on November 29, 2007

Deej! Dude, half the white kids I knew here in D.C. dressed like that. They were sly, slick, and wicked. I mean look at the fashions of the Brady Bunch. They were the same thing except a different color.
posted by doctorschlock

HA, yeah, well I guess I did have some Brady-Bunch-ish stuff. NOTHING like the King Collar though. Green paisley vest and wise lapel shirt. Bell bottoms. WIDE belt. Sure. But nothing into ELEGANZA territory.

Dig, my brother,dig. Pull up a truck and load up because these babies are undamaged and are as fresh as the day they were buried.
posted by doctorschlock

And that's the best laugh I have had all day. OK, it's still morning, but it will keep me chuckling all day!
posted by The Deej at 8:07 AM on November 29, 2007

> Man, black guys always look completely awesome.

Oh I wish. Don't forget the Jheri Curl, Argyle sweatered, corduroy & parachute panted 80's followed this. Velcro-strap no lace shoes. Oh it was all good when I had my flyaway collar in the 70's, but we paid a mighty, mighty price at the turn of the decade.
posted by cashman at 8:09 AM on November 29, 2007 [4 favorites]

I like the coat, too (and I think the collar IS part of the coat), but I can't wear it. It says Black only.
posted by MtDewd at 8:11 AM on November 29, 2007

Deej! Dude, half the white kids I knew here in D.C. dressed like that. They were sly, slick, and wicked. I mean look at the fashions of the Brady Bunch. They were the same thing except a different color.

Hm. I guess I did look like this once upon a time.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:18 AM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Awesome. Just awesome.
posted by Autarky at 8:19 AM on November 29, 2007

Good God, we have lost so much ground in men's fashion...
posted by Mister_A at 8:20 AM on November 29, 2007

Black Only.

Indeed.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:21 AM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Even if I live to be 10,000 years old, I will never be funky enough to wear these threads.

Solid post.
posted by mosk at 8:26 AM on November 29, 2007

They never show up at thrift stores.

Employees get first dibs.
posted by dobbs at 8:34 AM on November 29, 2007

I'm pretty sure that 70's black fashion was a Klan conspiracy.
posted by ColdChef at 8:35 AM on November 29, 2007

Mosk! You are as funky as you want to be. Put your weight on it. I busted up my tennis shoes in Jr. high and my father didn't have the bread to get me new ones so he gave me his fly green fashion clogs to wear. Man, those shoes were loud.
posted by doctorschlock at 8:40 AM on November 29, 2007

The copywriting is just as fly as the clothes. I love that. Solid!
posted by miss lynnster at 9:00 AM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sometimes, dorky white guys can fit right in, though.
posted by The Deej at 9:03 AM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I was always jealous that the other kids in my school (the 98% who were black) gave each other cool nicknames like Tut, Mange, and Koolbreeze. I thought I had nicknames, but it took me a while to figure out Honky and Cracka were not exactly terms of endearment.
posted by The Deej at 9:08 AM on November 29, 2007

How the hell could you struck your stuff down the disco in those shoes without coming out with a pair of broken ankles?

And that BUMP-KNIT SHRINK in the bottom corner seems designed to give every man who wears it the appearance of breasts.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:13 AM on November 29, 2007

I had an art teacher in highschool (72-76) that dressed like this. We wide-eyed suburban white kids flocked to him like flies to a patio torch. He was especially known for his full-body-length neckties (I kid you not) He was, for a brief semester, the absolute coolest dude on Earth.

Then, one morning, we arrived for class and he wasn't there. Turned-out he was busted the previous evening for drug distribution and possession of automatic weapons.

If only we had known he was dealing... ;-)
posted by Thorzdad at 9:15 AM on November 29, 2007

How the hell could you struck your stuff down the disco in those shoes without coming out with a pair of broken ankles?

If a gal can walk in 8 inch heels don't you think a brother can strut and fret his funky stuff across the stage of life, my man.

I know I did. With those elephant bell bottoms...you could hide all kinds of sh*t up in there.
posted by doctorschlock at 9:25 AM on November 29, 2007

I blame Arthur Ashe for the glasses.

Nope.
posted by SteveInMaine at 9:35 AM on November 29, 2007

You know those signs that say "You must be this tall to go on this ride"? The catalog order page says "Your schlong must be THIS long to wear these clothes."
posted by spock at 9:47 AM on November 29, 2007

Proving once again that black is beautiful.
posted by Pollomacho at 9:55 AM on November 29, 2007

If I had a collar like that (and "that" refers to just about any collar in any of these ads, but most especially to the King Collar), I would rule the world from behind the wheel of a '66 Eldo.
posted by Mister_A at 9:57 AM on November 29, 2007

The plaid pants look like something that would run approximately $300 in a Ralph Lauren summer collection.
posted by biggity at 10:03 AM on November 29, 2007

How the hell could you struck your stuff down the disco in those shoes without coming out with a pair of broken ankles

Well, first off, I'll second the comment that women dance around in heels that high all the time. Also, it's not as bad as it looks. The platforms under the toes means the heel isn't as high it looks for the purpose of weight distribution. And both the toe and heel platforms are wide enough to provide decent balance.
posted by Karmakaze at 10:06 AM on November 29, 2007

For comparison purposes only...
posted by Sailormom at 10:19 AM on November 29, 2007

Girls would turn the color of an eggplanza
When would drive past them wearing Eleganza
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:24 AM on November 29, 2007 [2 favorites]

You know those signs that say "You must be this tall to go on this ride"? The catalog order page says "Your schlong must be THIS long to wear these clothes."

That's just super classy, spock.
posted by cortex at 11:43 AM on November 29, 2007

I would kill for those platform shoes. Any of them. And I would dance in them.
posted by oneirodynia at 11:52 AM on November 29, 2007

ROU-X : Dazzle camouflage pants

I was trying to come up with a description of those, yours is perfect.
posted by quin at 11:58 AM on November 29, 2007

Awesome. :)
posted by nickyskye at 12:04 PM on November 29, 2007

I know a ton of goths that would piss themselves like frightened horneytoads if they could find some of those outfits in black.

I'd love to try out one or two of those outfits myself, but I don't think I could bring myself to leave the house while wearing them. I lack the certain je ne sais quoi that would be required to not look like an idiot.
posted by lekvar at 12:04 PM on November 29, 2007

My dad has a closet full of this stuff. He ditched them in the 80's for jogging outfits.
posted by doctorschlock at 12:19 PM on November 29, 2007

I blame Arthur Ashe for the glasses.

Nope.

I'll see your Caray and raise you some Ruffin.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 12:47 PM on November 29, 2007

I'm sure they are massively flammable. That would be too dangerous with my moves on the dance floor!
posted by matlock at 12:58 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm sure they are massively flammable. That would be too dangerous with my moves on the dance floor!

your username makes this comment that much funnier.
posted by xbonesgt at 1:07 PM on November 29, 2007

piss themselves like frightened horneytoads

Heeeheehee!
posted by Windigo at 1:34 PM on November 29, 2007

Not only were they highly flamboyant. They'd catch a fire and melt into black strings of polyester napalm when heated.
posted by doctorschlock at 1:40 PM on November 29, 2007

Imagine doing kung fu in those platform shoes. It would be sweet.
posted by cazoo at 1:41 PM on November 29, 2007

I forgot... another plus for these polyester pimp-like fabrics. They didn't wrinkle...they folded.
posted by doctorschlock at 1:43 PM on November 29, 2007

Imagine doing kung fu in those platform shoes. It would be sweet.

There's a whole movie where this happens and it's called:
Death Promise. Check it out. It will change your life.
posted by doctorschlock at 1:45 PM on November 29, 2007

I think when the ABA collapsed, it spelled the end of this era of fashion.

Darnell Hillman hasn't worn a stitch of clothing since ELEGANZA went out of business.
posted by matlock at 1:55 PM on November 29, 2007

I must be getting old...all those outfits had me thinking of Blake's 7.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:23 PM on November 29, 2007

To see some of these clothes in action, go see American Gangster.
posted by telstar at 2:25 PM on November 29, 2007

Geez, reminds me of my old man in his powder blue jumpsuit, with matching pith helmet. (shudders)
posted by black8 at 2:39 PM on November 29, 2007

Don't forget to top off the outfit with the right hairstyle.
posted by inconsequentialist at 2:48 PM on November 29, 2007

White people dress like this.

Black people dress like thiiiiiiiiiiiiis.
posted by elmwood at 3:53 PM on November 29, 2007

Geez, reminds me of my old man in his powder blue jumpsuit, with matching pith helmet.

Maybe he was going on safari in an aquarium.
posted by jonmc at 5:24 PM on November 29, 2007 [1 favorite]

I used to think that Earth Wind & Fire had some bad-ass stage outfits.

Now I see they were just wearing their everyday clothes.

Cape Suit!
posted by grabbingsand at 7:12 PM on November 29, 2007

I kinda like the women's clothes
posted by Julnyes at 7:52 PM on November 29, 2007

Here's the other 1970s thing going around (purportedly from J.C. Penney catalog).
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 8:55 PM on November 29, 2007

Sadly, Bill the Hatter appears to have left the South Side for Skokie.
posted by gimonca at 9:22 PM on November 29, 2007

Well, by a quick preview, nobody's said it yet, so...

Dyn-o-MIIITE!!
posted by Trochanter at 4:42 AM on November 30, 2007