Lake Michigan First, Last Stop on Dream Voyage

December 8, 2007 4:27 PM

Pavel Bernek had grand plans for his newly-refurbished, 34-foot sailboat. "He schemed to cross the Atlantic, blow through the Strait of Gibraltar and drop anchor in the Mediterranean Sea, where he hoped his girlfriend would be waiting for him. But here in reality - in Milwaukee - the wounded "Falcon" lies on its side, in shin-deep water, ravaged by more than a month's worth of wintry punches from an ornery Lake Michigan."

Now, photographers flock to his folly. But not for long.

posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! (38 comments total)

It's a shame about the boat, and while I think the owner should have stepped up, I can understand him just saying "fuck it." After a lot of blood, sweat and money have been spent on a restoration like that, the wind pretty much goes out of your sails (ha) when something like that happens.
posted by maxwelton at 4:39 PM on December 8, 2007

Especially as it would have cost him as much as the boat was worth to get it off and he wasn't insured...
posted by Brockles at 4:57 PM on December 8, 2007

I've heard it said that the happiest days in a boat owner's life are the day s/he buys it, and the day s/he sells it.
posted by rtha at 5:05 PM on December 8, 2007

never underestimate the great lakes - they are not casual places to sail
posted by pyramid termite at 5:16 PM on December 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ah, sailing and the romance of the sea! Like crouching in a cold shower, tearing up hundred-dollar bills.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 5:28 PM on December 8, 2007 [18 favorites]

Stay classy, Pavel.
posted by phaedon at 5:36 PM on December 8, 2007

"I've heard it said that the happiest days in a boat owner's life are the day s/he buys it, and the day s/he sells it."

That depends on the boat, and on the owner..

Although I've never owned anything as large as this boat, I've owned boats for a lot of years... they are a vehicle to adventure and wonderful times.... I can't imagine not owning one (or two, or even more)... be it a kayak, canoe, powerboat, or sailboat, the provide access to great things......
posted by HuronBob at 5:39 PM on December 8, 2007

"He said the latest owner - identified as Chicago resident Pavel Bernek, a native of the Czech Republic - moved it to Cramer Marine and worked on it with friends and relatives on weekends. His goal was to sail to Europe, pick up his sweetheart there and sail on to the Caribbean, Cramer said."

"...But he failed to consult the charts of Lake Michigan that clearly show areas to avoid."

I'd say he also failed to consult a map, since you can't get to the Czech Republic from Milwaukee.

j/k
posted by pineapple at 5:45 PM on December 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Now that's littering.
posted by XMLicious at 5:55 PM on December 8, 2007

"I'd say he also failed to consult a map, since you can't get to the Czech Republic from Milwaukee."..

he was sailing to Europe..... and, yes, you CAN get to Europe from Milwaukee via sailboat...
posted by HuronBob at 6:07 PM on December 8, 2007

Boat on a hill, never going to see
Anchored to a fixer upper's dream
This boat is beat, never gonna be a boat now
Thirsty, sees the sea from high on ice-plant
He keeps patching it and painting
Thinking about his pension plan
But the boat is out to pasture
Seems it never had a chance
I wanna be a boat
I wanna learn to swim
Then I'll learn to float
Then begin again, begin again
Boat remembers the carpenter's sure hand
Missing fishy flutter on its rudder
Sold at an auction, on a dolly ever since
Sometimes rainy days drop boyish wonder
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:09 PM on December 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

wonder what folks from milwaukee would think of the hundreds of sailboats abandoned for years scattered around the estuaries of the southeast. it's a daily sight on coasts from virginia around to texas.
posted by 3.2.3 at 6:16 PM on December 8, 2007

If you can't get across the lake without running aground on a lee shore, it's probably best that you don't then try to sail across the fucking Atlantic Ocean. Because. You. Would. Die.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:34 PM on December 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

I actually saw the boat the other week and wondered what the story behind it was. I wanted to stop and take pictures too.

As far as abandoned boats, we don't see very many here, mostly because the Lake's level doesn't change dramatically, though long abandoned boats become the things of legend (there's one on the Kinnickinnic River that has been there for decades and received lengthy write ups).
posted by drezdn at 6:42 PM on December 8, 2007

Uh. That was dumb.
posted by blacklite at 6:50 PM on December 8, 2007

Ah, sailing and the romance of the sea! Like crouching in a cold shower, tearing up hundred-dollar bills.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 7:28 PM on December 8 [3 favorites +] [!]


With all your clothes on...
posted by Sam.Burdick at 6:54 PM on December 8, 2007

Thanks Sam. I knew there was more to that epigram. It's always amazed me how how easy it is for any ninny to just aunch themselves upon the water. People have a hard enough time navigating perfectly stable, clearly marked, and well-lit roadways. They can barely operate their parking brakes. Figuring out the intricacies of anchors, windlasses, tides, drift, and the myriad other skills required to moor overnight in the next cove over is an ability that really shouldn't be lightly presumed.

The astounding naiveté that makes someone arbitrarily presume that they suddenly have the skill-set to cross the frikken Atlantic Ocean in winter is precisely what makes them a hazard to both themselves and other mariners. They are a decided drain on the scarce rescue resources available. Of course he abandoned his vessel and left his mess for others to clean up. He had no commitment to the sea, and no idea about its responsibilities or traditions.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 8:41 PM on December 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Beautiful, sad pictures, on the wintry punches, "flock," and "folly" links, however.

How sad, when a once cared about vessel of dreams meets an ignominious end, punched to death, slowly, by enemy rocks. The gossamer construction of temporal human fancy killed by the grudging, drowned captives of old, melted glaciers. 50 years of hope, against 500 million years of grinding granite reality.

Great winter post, M.C. Lo-carb!.
posted by paulsc at 8:50 PM on December 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

It is fortutious that he discovered his limitations before he left he Great Lakes. Lake Michigan can certainly be a bugger, and it doesn't live up to Lake Superior, which in turn is small next to the Atlantic. If it was easy everyone would do it, and it wouldn't be anyone's dream.
posted by edgeways at 9:00 PM on December 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

They call it a "lake" because the water, they say, is "sweet". LOL! That sweet lake is as much a bitch as any sea, she's just better at pretending otherwise. Yet, in my way, I almost worship her for her beauty. Awesome, she is! But I've had the joy of taking someone to a good spot on her shore, having never beheld the glory that is a Great Lake. Someone who, although intelligent and educated, was not prepared for the glorious sight that is that far horizon.
posted by Goofyy at 9:03 PM on December 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

ok... so, everyone near a large body of water is fucking crazy, huh. I'm not talking about you, Goofyy. ok? please? Or any other one of you completely sane people. Especially not paulsc, dear god, especially not him.
posted by stavrogin at 9:14 PM on December 8, 2007

Well, I'm sure paulsc would be a fine sailor, except upstream. I mean, obviously boats couldn't sail against a current. The water would hold them in place.

:-)
posted by Malor at 9:54 PM on December 8, 2007

After camping on the Oregon coast and attending a presentation by two kindly, weathered coast guard members, I will never sail in cold waters.

"After they hit the partially submerged log, they watched as their daughter slipped out of her life jacket and sank to the bottom." Shudder. There are just so many things that can go wrong. I won't ride a motorcycle either. I'll probably die from a hangnail infection.
posted by mecran01 at 9:56 PM on December 8, 2007

"... The water would hold them in place.

:-)"
posted by Malor at 12:54 AM on December 9

I doubt it. But sailing them on motion opposing conveyors would make them incredibly unpredictable to tack. :-)
posted by paulsc at 10:11 PM on December 8, 2007

Oh, God.

A 34-foot sailboat (read: small, very small) is sitting on some rocks in Lake Michigan, abandoned?

You can find one of those every day on the East Coast. Winter storms do bad stuff to boats that aren't hauled.

The laughable part?

he failed to consult the charts of Lake Michigan that clearly show areas to avoid.

Quite simply: Not a sailor.

Why is this newsworthy? Because it happened in the Lakes? Because it's one of the first of its make and design? Because there's not a lot going on this time of year in Milwaukee?

I can't imagine the naivete and hubris it must take to assume you can handle a long-distance sail without the most rudimentary awareness of sailing.

Charts!
posted by Miko at 11:02 PM on December 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

What was lord Nelson's famous line...it would be so appropriate here...

Oh, yes, now I remember: "Har, har!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:49 PM on December 8, 2007

Wow. This is a story/fpp?

Here in the Florida Keys we have about twenty of those laying around pretty much at any given time. And they are often larger than 34-feet.

Is nincompoop still a word? In all reality, it's for the best. And one more boat going down, well, there are hundreds down here that people are just giving away. If you really love a boat, you take care of it. If you really like it, you may even consult a chart!
posted by humannaire at 1:41 AM on December 9, 2007

Perhaps I'm taking this a bit too much to heart, as I was once that clueless guy¹ on a boat he couldn't afford and didn't know how to maintain² (it is now, I believe, abandoned somewhere off the coast of North Carolina, but — thank the fates — not by me, as, in an extraordinarily rare instance of excellent timing on my part, I managed to convince a friend to adopt it a few months before the rudder fell off) — albeit at 17, not in my 40s. But I think some of the hostility here is a bit much. The man wanted to cross the Atlantic some day, but who doesn't? There is nothing in these links to suggest that he wanted to "to cross the frikken Atlantic Ocean in winter," and nothing to suggest that he was possessed of "the naivete and hubris it must take to assume you can handle a long-distance sail without the most rudimentary awareness of sailing." He wanted to learn to sail and, eventually, meet his girlfriend in Europe, but unless I'm missing something in the links, as far as we know he went aground during a day sail — no one claims he was setting out for the Czech Republic that day. There's enough foolishness in this story (buying a 50-year-old wooden boat when you don't know what you're doing? as your first boat? and an eventual passagemaker? and seriously, no charts?) that I don't think we need to start making shit up.

1. I'm still clueless, but, alas, now also boatless.
2. I did, however, have charts.
posted by enn at 2:22 AM on December 9, 2007

not to be the oneupsmanship dood, but this is a way better boat-run-aground story.
posted by Hat Maui at 3:23 AM on December 9, 2007

Why is this newsworthy?

In Milwaukee, it's newsworthy because it happened right along side a very busy road in an area where, while there are a ton of boats, very few wash aground. So many people had seen it, and were probably wondering what happened. Plus, it's a story of someone who didn't quite achieve their big dreams.
posted by drezdn at 5:43 AM on December 9, 2007

When I took the USCG boating safety course, the thing that most impressed me about the difference between sailing and driving is that after a boating mishap, you can't just get out and walk home. If folks would meditate on that before setting sail, there would be much less sadness.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:02 AM on December 9, 2007

nothing to suggest that he was possessed of "the naivete and hubris it must take to assume you can handle a long-distance sail without the most rudimentary awareness of sailing."

The thing that suggests that is that he hadn't looked at charts. That is the most rudimentary element of sailing: how deep is the water where I want to go? Is it deeper than my boat?

I agree with all those who say it's true that this would not be newsworthy on either coast.
posted by Miko at 8:42 AM on December 9, 2007

The man wanted to cross the Atlantic some day, but who doesn't?

Me, unless you count First Class on Lufthansa. Anyway, sailing across the Atlantic seems to be comparatively easy-peasy nowadays: a friend of mine has just done it single-handed in his mid-fifties. Admittedly, he's had a yacht for a few years, but he's a merchant banker type rather than a horny-handed sea dog.
posted by athenian at 11:45 AM on December 9, 2007

Good God, it's profoundly not easy. Many people who have other careers are excellent sailors, but for heaven's sake, it requires quite a bit of experience, knowledge, humility, and confidence. And an understanding of plotting a course and how to handle severe weather.

If you don't think so, choose any quiet pond on a nice day and take a sailboat out without any training. Good luck!
posted by Miko at 12:04 PM on December 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Calm down Enn. The vessel had a fiberglass hull, not wood. The Czech Republic is landlocked, he never intended to sail there. See how easy it is to make minor mistakes when reading many articles?

But the essence of the peevishness indicated is still completely valid. Had he possessed even an iota of common sense there are a myriad number of ways that this guy could have pursued his dream. But this wasn't one of them. Those of us with any experience on the water are quite rightly chagrined at his ineptitude, and the waste of energy and resources required to ameliorate the results of his folly. The guy is an idiot, with no clue about the need for a progressive order in gaining marine experience.

Getting blown onto a lee shore his second time afloat positively telegraphs his shortcomings in the common sense department. His complete lack of responsibility and inabililty to deal with a setback testifies to his unsuitability for a life afloat. He was maritime mishap waiting to happen. Had he set out for Europe in the summer, disaster was still the most likely denouement. There are dipsticks like this in every anchorage; astute swabbies know enough to give 'em a wide berth.

Yaaar.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 12:21 PM on December 9, 2007

If nothing else, be pissed because of the number of your tax dollars it takes to bring guys like this back in after they've gotten into trouble. Ask your nearest Coastie for their stories.
posted by Miko at 1:59 PM on December 9, 2007

Precisely, Miko. The number one reason for maritime rescue out on English Bay here ( a frikken harbour) is ... running out of gas.

Take a look at the silt deposits at Point Grey off of UBC on the map linked. Every marine chart clearly shows this area as being shallow and unnavigable, and yet every single summer day there is at least one landlubber in an expensive yacht hard aground out there. Windsurfing or skim-boarding there ( you'd think that would tell these idiots something) I've actually warned people I've seen serenely sailing along about the hazardous course they've plotted, and been ignored; only to watch them then run aground later on as the tide falls, or they tack the wrong way.

Naturally, my sympathy level for these dips is pretty limited.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 3:42 PM on December 9, 2007

The Falcon was dragged ashore today, after being cut into pieces. There's a cool time-lapse video.

I really can't say why this so fascinated Milwaukee; even on the Great Lakes there are plenty of places famous for shipwrecks. It could just be that around the city there aren't that many, especially since the 19th century days (when every town on the lakeshore had its own rescue squadron for the boats that plied their way along the coast between places like Green Bay and Chicago).
posted by dhartung at 4:02 PM on December 12, 2007