Animal Planet investigates alcoholism in monkeys

December 10, 2007 4:32 PM

"Significantly, the percentage of monkeys and humans who avoid alcohol is the same." [YouTube]
posted by finite (28 comments total)

What, actually, is the significance of that?
posted by aubilenon at 4:45 PM on December 10, 2007

Well, they go on to note that "heavy-drinking monkeys seems to make better leaders than alcoholic humans," so obviously what this all boils down to is that more research is needed.
posted by finite at 4:48 PM on December 10, 2007

Don't judge me monkey.





it's genes, see!
posted by rooftop secrets at 4:52 PM on December 10, 2007

That monkey can quit anytime he wants to.
posted by Partial Law at 4:53 PM on December 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

I am so jealous of those monkeys.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:57 PM on December 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

so that's what goes on at these meetups
posted by pyramid termite at 5:05 PM on December 10, 2007

aubilenon wrote
What, actually, is the significance of that?

It would indicate a genetic basis for the crippling disease of teetolerism.

People shouldn't have to go through life sober. Please help.
posted by tkolar at 5:15 PM on December 10, 2007 [8 favorites]

I propose we call it teetotalitarianism.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 5:17 PM on December 10, 2007 [9 favorites]

Drunken monkey fist is a powerful kung fu technique and makes great and powerful leaders.
posted by Bob Dobbs at 5:22 PM on December 10, 2007

How can you not love a drunk monkey?
posted by gallois at 5:31 PM on December 10, 2007

Cheers, Mr. Monkey! I toast you!
posted by WaterSprite at 5:32 PM on December 10, 2007

That is awesome. I thought when they talked about the monkey's taste in alcohol, that some monkey's didn't like the girly drinks and went straight to whiskey straight out to of the bottle.
posted by birdherder at 5:36 PM on December 10, 2007

Dad?
posted by AbnerDoon at 5:37 PM on December 10, 2007

Significantly, the percentage of monkeys and humans who die is the same.
posted by Smedleyman at 5:38 PM on December 10, 2007 [2 favorites]

Smedleyman FTW. Also, I would like to be able to live like these monkeys. Then again, maybe not.
posted by localroger at 6:39 PM on December 10, 2007

I thought when they talked about the monkey's taste in alcohol, that some monkey's didn't like the girly drinks and went straight to whiskey straight out to of the bottle.


Girl Drink Drunk. Sans Monkeys.
posted by camdan at 6:39 PM on December 10, 2007

So it's not all like...

"Oook ook."

THUD!

then?

Besides, my Spastic Sloth school of face to foot is the strongest style...
posted by Samizdata at 6:39 PM on December 10, 2007

Significantly, the percentage of monkeys and humans who avoid alcohol is the same.

Significantly, both are a major drag at parties.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:33 PM on December 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Great, more "science."
posted by nanojath at 9:16 PM on December 10, 2007

Hilarious. Thank ya.
posted by HighTechUnderpants at 9:23 PM on December 10, 2007

Another account of the St. Kitts monkeys. Here's the NewScientist's take on the phenomenon. Here's the results of the official study done on those silly monkeys.
posted by andythebean at 9:57 PM on December 10, 2007 [2 favorites]

Damn, that first link is some good writing, andythebean.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:29 PM on December 10, 2007

This very interesting video shows monkeys drinking alcohol in an environment that they have adapted from those of humans. It also involves story telling as a form of entertainment.
posted by chillmost at 3:18 AM on December 11, 2007

Does a monkey with a drinking problem have a human on its back?

I'm so, so sorry.
posted by slimepuppy at 7:15 AM on December 11, 2007

gallois : How can you not love a drunk monkey?

When they are armed.

Seriously, if you are going to be providing booze to monkeys, lock up your guns folks, it's just a recipe for disaster.
posted by quin at 8:32 AM on December 11, 2007

All that breaking glass, those monkeys need a spanking.
posted by Goofyy at 8:45 AM on December 11, 2007

awesome, and fascinating. thanks.
posted by mrgrimm at 6:40 PM on December 11, 2007

The biggest difference, of course, is that monkeys aren't able to go down to the corner store and buy a 40-ounce for $1.99. If they were, "heavy-drinking monkeys seems to make better leaders than alcoholic humans," would no longer apply, imo.

i.e., there seems to be an artificial limitation on the monkey's drunkeness. for further study, they should leave vats of alcohol below their trees.

Regardless, the fact that monkeys = humans should not be ignored.
posted by mrgrimm at 6:43 PM on December 11, 2007