Gee, Your Penis Smells Terrific!

January 10, 2008 8:10 PM

Does Your Penis Smell Perfect? Have you ever asked yourself: "Why is it that no matter how much time and effort I put into washing my penis in the shower, I still get that awful whiff of a rancid smell throughout the day, or even right after a shower?" Nodoro has the solution. There are commercials (Are they real or parodies?) here. Via.
posted by amyms (122 comments total)

Oops, I should have added that the text might not be safe for work.
posted by amyms at 8:13 PM on January 10, 2008

Heck -- all you need is a 'personal ball washer,' as per Lewis Black.

"This is my esteemed personal ball washer, scrub, scrub, rinse, rinse, because I am a very important person!" [YouTube video].

posted by ericb at 8:13 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why do I get the feeling this'll screw with one's delicate balance of penis bacteria and end up not being a good thing. My penis smells like a penis most of the time. Isn't smelling like a penis the perfect smell? Do some men really find that their own penis smell to be rancid? And I'm not talking post sexy sex sex smell (which can get quite musty if left unwashed) but the normal smell of an uncircumcised penis.

I think this product promotes an unrealistic aromatic expectation of men.
posted by Mister Cheese at 8:18 PM on January 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

Q: What happens if NodorO™ gets in contact with a woman's genitals?
A: ... The effectiveness of [latex condoms or diaphragms] may consequently be reduced, so you should use alternative contraceptive precautions for at least 5 days after using this product

Q: Is NodorO™ safe to be ingested?
A: NodorO™ SHOULD NEVER BE INGESTED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If you suspect that NodorO™ has been ingested, contact an emergency room or a poison control center.

This seems to rule out at least 2 activities... so, uh, what exactly am I supposed to do with my new flower-scented wang?
posted by 0xFCAF at 8:20 PM on January 10, 2008 [40 favorites]

so, uh, what exactly am I supposed to do with my new flower-scented wang?

Presumably this product is so wonderful that after using it all you'll want to do is stay at home and smell your own penis.
posted by clevershark at 8:22 PM on January 10, 2008 [36 favorites]

But does it work on declawed cats?
posted by b1tr0t at 8:23 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

If I could get my nose close enough to really smell my penis, you can bet I'd be doing something a lot more fun than posting here.
posted by Robert Angelo at 8:24 PM on January 10, 2008 [26 favorites]

So I'm supposed to be smelling my penis and gauging it's freshness?
posted by puke & cry at 8:24 PM on January 10, 2008

Ah, good old cashing in on insecurity through manufacturing problems!

I'm fairly certain I smell the same there that I do pretty much everywhere else; vaguely like lavender and tea-tree artisanal soap early on in the day, then more like healthy skin and salt. If I sweat overmuch, my underarms smell, but even then, they smell mostly like deodorant.

I'm having trouble with this though-- is this real? I feel like it can't be.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:27 PM on January 10, 2008

Why do I get the feeling this'll screw with one's delicate balance of penis bacteria and end up not being a good thing. My penis smells like a penis most of the time. Isn't smelling like a penis the perfect smell? Do some men really find that their own penis smell to be rancid? And I'm not talking post sexy sex sex smell (which can get quite musty if left unwashed) but the normal smell of an uncircumcised penis.

I think this product promotes an unrealistic aromatic expectation of men.
posted by Mister Cheese at 11:18 PM on January 10 [+] [!]

Close the eponysterical contest, we have a winner.
posted by yhbc at 8:28 PM on January 10, 2008 [26 favorites]

My penis smells disastrous.
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 8:29 PM on January 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

Every time I see a commercial mention that "not so fresh feeling" I want to throw things and scream into the television "LOOK! It's a mucus secreting organ that also has an excretory function that sits BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS all day long where not only does it not get a whole lot of AIR, but it's got a nice proximity to the femoral arteries to heat it up! HOW FRESH DO YOU REALLY WANT IT TO BE?!"

And then I remember that the TV can't hear me.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 8:29 PM on January 10, 2008 [16 favorites]

I have a foreskin and according to a second opinion, my cock generally smells "pretty good" without a heroic disinfection regimen. But this kind of thing is just the thin end of a smelly wedge. How long before we have floral cock perfumes? How can I patent this?
posted by meehawl at 8:30 PM on January 10, 2008

I love how they capitalize and turn it into an acronym to make it Sound Like A Real Medical Problem (SLARMP).

They should team up with companies like these (maybe NSFW text) to sell the complete package: a penis that smells like a crisp oceanic breeze and semen that tastes like a crisp green apple.
posted by CKmtl at 8:31 PM on January 10, 2008

the normal smell of an uncircumcised penis

As opposed to the normal...er...olfactory detectability of a circumcised penis?

Because I'm not about to go researching this myself, beyond the blue.
posted by datawrangler at 8:32 PM on January 10, 2008

HOW FRESH DO YOU REALLY WANT IT TO BE?!

Well, I don't care, if that makes you feel better.
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 8:33 PM on January 10, 2008

Ok, so there are some guys who have an abnormal bacterial infection -- perhaps they could benefit from this. The site implies that nearly all men have such an infection, and that nearly all men should therefore be using this.

And what exactly is the "perfect" penis smell?
posted by treepour at 8:33 PM on January 10, 2008

Hi Hal, why the long face?

Oh Hi Bob, Mary turned me down for a date again.

Gee Hal, that's too bad, y'know, there might be a simple reason Mary doesn't want to go out with you.

Really? What?

Well, there could be a number of reasons. Say, have you tried using NodorO?

NodorO? No, what's that?

.... later.....

Hi Hal, say you're looking a lot better? NodorO?

Oh Hi Bob, yup NodorO. Just a little in her coffee, and now she's uncouncous in my trunk.

Thanks NodorO- she couldn't say no!
posted by mattoxic at 8:34 PM on January 10, 2008 [7 favorites]

I don't know if this is a parody or not, but something sure smells fishy to me.
posted by ericost at 8:34 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

After I clean my penis off, I dab on a few drops of Vulva to throw the world off its axis.
posted by item at 8:36 PM on January 10, 2008

sell the complete package: a penis that smells like a crisp oceanic breeze and semen that tastes like a crisp green apple

My credit card is at the ready.
posted by datawrangler at 8:36 PM on January 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

How long before we have floral cock perfumes? How can I patent this?

You could call it Boyzone.
posted by hermitosis at 8:36 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Well, there's at least one mefite who could use this.
posted by sambosambo at 8:38 PM on January 10, 2008

Can this be the basis of a MeFi meetup? I'll be the one with the accent wearing a fedora.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:39 PM on January 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

Sounds too complicated. I prefer the Weener Kleener.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:40 PM on January 10, 2008

I don't think this would help me. After a long day at work, I can smell a little musky down there (cut, so it's not that). I figure my only hope is surgical sweat gland removal.
posted by Samizdata at 8:40 PM on January 10, 2008

If I was a dog this might be cool, but if I was a dog, I would just as soon have someone put peanut butter on it.

Shouldn't a penis smell like a penis? Why should it be any different than a vagina or an anus for that matter?

Please, leave my penis alone!!!!!! (because so many are giving it undue attention)
posted by snsranch at 8:41 PM on January 10, 2008

If you have fungi growing on your penis smell might not be the first thing you should be worried about. One could also try, say, regular hygiene. Unless fungi is supposed to grow on penises?
posted by clevershark at 8:43 PM on January 10, 2008

I'd really like to know much they had to pay those guys to have their faces forever associated with Male Genital Odors.

And if it is a joke, it's an unusually elaborate one:

http://www.prweb.com/releases/2008/1/prweb596222.htm
posted by dreish at 8:43 PM on January 10, 2008

I dab on a few drops of Vulva to throw the world off its axis

Dammit, item. I had my speakers set pretty low, opened that link in a tab, then got distracted by something. Then I spent 5 minutes trying to figure out where that annoying, almost-but-not-quite Morse code SOS noise was coming from.
posted by CKmtl at 8:46 PM on January 10, 2008

sounds like a parody of women's products
posted by subatomiczoo at 8:49 PM on January 10, 2008

I'm glad this is going well (or at least in good humor). I posted it because I thought it was funny/strange to see such an overt "male odor" advertisement after all these years of being bombarded with "female odor" ads trying to scare me about the aromas of my girly parts.
posted by amyms at 8:50 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Indeed. Yeast won't help it rise anyway.
posted by Tube at 8:51 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

subatomiczoo said: sounds like a parody of women's products

I wondered that too, especially after watching the commercials, but I didn't find anything (so far) that identified it as a parody site (although, I enjoyed it either way, real or parody).
posted by amyms at 8:53 PM on January 10, 2008

And if it is a joke, it's an unusually elaborate one:

Maybe the Yes Men are behind it...

It just seems too silly.
posted by clevershark at 8:56 PM on January 10, 2008

I smell perfect dot com? I smell perfect dot com? I smell perfect dot com? I smell perfect dot com? I smell perfect dot com? I smell perfect dot com? I smell perfect dot com?

Oh so it must be, I smell perfect dot com.
posted by nola at 8:57 PM on January 10, 2008

A freshly sanitized penis is a boring penis. Wash after use, wash daily, yea. But your junk is going to smell (and taste) best some hours after the soap smell goes to hell away. If s/he can't handle a penis-smelling penis, seek elsewhere, that person is going to get boring, real fast.
posted by Goofyy at 8:59 PM on January 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

Maybe it's a tie-in to an upcoming movie? I mean, in much the same way that Martian Buddy is a tie-in to Doom 3.
posted by clevershark at 9:02 PM on January 10, 2008

Perhaps I can use my foreskin as a reservoir to dispense this product throughout the day, keeping me eternally fresh. My fear would be this would make me smell like an old woman who slathered herself in "White Shoulders" to hide the scent of penis, a mind-numbingly disturbing idea to have gnawing at me throughout the day.
posted by maxwelton at 9:05 PM on January 10, 2008

Howard Stern just introduced it on David Letterman......
posted by HappyHippo at 9:07 PM on January 10, 2008

Penis Blue?
posted by maudlin at 9:14 PM on January 10, 2008

Penis Blue?

Not if it smells fresh.
posted by ryoshu at 9:17 PM on January 10, 2008

Penis Blue?

No thanks. We women prefer men with happy penises.
posted by amyms at 9:19 PM on January 10, 2008

Well, if it's not a gag it smells fishy to me: the site says NodorO is effective against Tinea corporis, which is the red itchy rash known as ringworm. The site only talks about smell, not itchiness. If I had a package o' junk full of ringworm, the itch would be way more crazymaking than a whiff of funk.

I can't believe I climbed this far into the boyzone. Help? Somebody gimme a hand out?
posted by Quietgal at 9:20 PM on January 10, 2008

Howard Stern just introduced it on David Letterman......

Yep ... just saw it myself. Howard gave Dave a tube of it -- and tried to read a bit of the marketing text before Dave cut him off.
posted by ericb at 9:21 PM on January 10, 2008

My penis doesn't smell. My nose smells.

My penis stinks.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:22 PM on January 10, 2008 [4 favorites]

My penis smells ok.
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:23 PM on January 10, 2008

If there is one thing that I come to Metafilter for, it is a thorough consideration of genatalia odors of all kinds.
posted by spock at 9:25 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

Quietgal said: I can't believe I climbed this far into the boyzone. Help? Somebody gimme a hand out?

It's okay, Quietgal, I posted it and I'm a girl. As I said upthread, I thought it was funny to see something targeted at men that was so similar to the "Do you smell FRESH?" things that are targeted at us girls. It's interesting to see the boys' reactions.
posted by amyms at 9:27 PM on January 10, 2008

long ago, while watching a deodorant commercial, i had an idea for a new product which i never pursued. i had noted that some companies wanted to create a problem in the minds of prospective customers so that the customers would be impelled to buy the product, and i conceived a new problem for which there is yet no answer: post-buttockal effluvium.

post-buttockal effluvium is the smell that comes from your buttcrack. imagine you're an up-and-coming young player at a successful firm, and you get on an elevator in the building with your co-workers, and they grimace slightly and turn away from you - could it be the smell coming from your buttcrack? with your career on the line, you could be safe rather than sorry for only a couple bucks a month. a quick spray down there as part of your morning toilet and you would never have to worry about offending your boss/co-workers/clients. it would come in raspberry, lime and a pleasing tingly menthol. procter & gamble, if you're reading this, my email is in my profile.
posted by bruce at 9:27 PM on January 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

After I clean my penis off, I dab on a few drops of Vulva to throw the world off its axis.
posted by item at 10:36 PM on January 10 [+] [!]

Nodoro + Vulva = Olfactory passing kit for transexuals?
posted by NikitaNikita at 9:29 PM on January 10, 2008

Pepsi ewwwww.
posted by deadmessenger at 9:29 PM on January 10, 2008

and the last thing you want is for a fishy smell to be coming from your own penis.

Hmmmm. I thought the typical penile odor was more . . . cheesy than piscine.
posted by jason's_planet at 9:32 PM on January 10, 2008

Q.: How did NodorO™ get created?

A.: President/CEO and NodorO™ Creator, Dominic Adams suffered of MGO since he was a teenager, only UNTIL he realized his discovery. Adams personally used the product for several years, which inspired him to share his discovery with the world and created NodorO™.
"I could not imagine my sexual life without NodorO™ anymore. I have no more fears of repulsing my partner due to bad genital odors. For anyone who has ever dealt with MGO, it is a miracle cream. I went from being embarrassed because of the smell to being proud and confident." says Adams without embarrassment or shame anymore.
posted by hadjiboy at 9:34 PM on January 10, 2008

Copyright © 2008 Synerfied Healthcare

I go with it being an elaborate hoax/parody.]

Doing a search for Synerfied Healthcare only brings up references to NodorO™.

NodorO™is available for ordering on our website at: ismellperfect.com

ismellperfect.com resolves back to NodorO.

A WHOIS says these domains are owned by Synerfied Capital Inc. Of their four divisions: Healthcare, Development, Restaurants and Pictures the only market offering they have is NodorO.

Another domain they have registered is: therinseafter.org -- currently blank.
posted by ericb at 9:34 PM on January 10, 2008

It would come in handy if your lady suspects you are playing around (YouTube).
posted by clearlydemon at 9:36 PM on January 10, 2008

My penis smells ok.

My penis smells like a delicious pie.
posted by tracert at 9:37 PM on January 10, 2008

This is great. There in the lower right she's pointing just where it could go if it didn't stink so much. For shame.

Why are all the happy couples using a computer, though? Is that really what MGO (Male Genital Odor) really interfering with? Couple computer user?
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 9:38 PM on January 10, 2008

Just marinade nightly with a fruity Valpolicella for the rich appetising scent of cock au vin.
posted by Abiezer at 9:42 PM on January 10, 2008 [3 favorites]

A WHOIS says these domains are owned by Synerfied Capital Inc. Of their four divisions: Healthcare, Development, Restaurants and Pictures the only market offering they have is NodorO.

I for one can't wait to see their restaurant ideas.
posted by clevershark at 9:45 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

sounds like a parody of women's products

Wow. With such insight, I imagine that you probably wear your underpants under your pants!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:47 PM on January 10, 2008

Some things just can't be improved upon by parody.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:49 PM on January 10, 2008

Hey folks, this could be the thread that lures quonsar back to MetaFilter. Because of the fish. In his pants.

Now he doesn't have to be all shy about his itchy smelly pantsfish.
posted by Quietgal at 9:49 PM on January 10, 2008

Some things just can't be improved upon by parody.

Despite that ad's claim to frankness, it's remarkably roundabout.

A frank ad would say, "Your cunt stinks. This can help, maybe. You ain't got much choice, as we sees it."
posted by "Tex" Connor and the Wily Roundup Boys at 9:56 PM on January 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

i had 69 with the little mermaid once, and i can still smell the tuna.
posted by bruce at 9:59 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

See also those now-famous Lysol ads.
posted by clevershark at 10:01 PM on January 10, 2008

(SLARMP)

My penis makes that sound occasionally. Is there a product for me?
posted by davejay at 10:11 PM on January 10, 2008

It's 1% Clotrimazole, according to the website, which is just a typical antifungal for jock itch/yeast infection/athlete's foot.
posted by mewithoutyou at 10:11 PM on January 10, 2008

This penis, it vibrates?
posted by gingerbeer at 10:14 PM on January 10, 2008

the last thing you want is for a fishy smell to be coming from your own penis.

Given that I make sushi for a living, it only makes sense that my penis should smell like fish, too.
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:34 PM on January 10, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think this product promotes an unrealistic aromatic expectation of men.

Welcome to Woman's World! Now, get yourself a boob job, nose job, fake nails, a dye job, some high heels and a shorter skirt and you'll really have fun here!

It is funny to see the male reaction to something like this, amyms. But what's making me cringe the most is the horrible, horrible copywriting on the website. Remind me never to sleep with that guy.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 10:41 PM on January 10, 2008 [2 favorites]

This isn't too surprising. It seems like just another extension of sleazy operators making a buck of internet penis insecurity. Viagra, Enzyte, 'extension' products, and now this.
posted by delmoi at 11:02 PM on January 10, 2008

MetaFilter: My penis smells ok.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:20 PM on January 10, 2008

Given that I make sushi for a living, it only makes sense that my penis should smell like fish, too.

Please tell me where you work so that I can never, ever buy sushi there.

Ever.
posted by dersins at 11:22 PM on January 10, 2008 [12 favorites]

They should team up with companies like these (maybe NSFW text) to sell the complete package: a penis that smells like a crisp oceanic breeze and semen that tastes like a crisp green apple.

Crisp green apple? Oh come on, the REAL money is going to be in chocolate and coffee flavours.
posted by Talanvor at 11:47 PM on January 10, 2008

"My dog has no penis!"
"How does he smell?"

(Err, no, I've got that wrong, haven't I?)
posted by Pinback at 12:05 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Penis is as penis does.
posted by m0nm0n at 12:05 AM on January 11, 2008

I would like my penis to have that new car smell. I would like my penis to have better manners. I would like my penis to take notes when I ask it too. I have many demands from my penis. Sometimes my penis gets down about it. It says to me "Hey Yo!! Back the hell up, I'm just a penis." And I offer it an apology. "Sorry penis, you're okay in my book," I say. I like my penis. You should like your penis. I heard there will be a national be nice to your penis day soon. My penis has a publicist. You can email my penis' publicist. My penis' publicists penis has a publicist too. My penis is going to Aruba for a winter holiday. It wants to sit on the beach and watch the girls. I say "Go ahead, penis go and have a great time. I'll be here when you get back. Send me a postcard."
posted by Skygazer at 12:09 AM on January 11, 2008

Smelly Penis? Try new E. Noir Mous^TM. 'Cause you gotta pee fresh to be fresh. "Oh, Bob! Your penis smells E. Noir Mous^TM!"
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:14 AM on January 11, 2008

This product is designed to build on male insecurity. Men will now live in fear that one day their lover will return home with the smell of Nodor on their breath.
posted by Elmore at 12:24 AM on January 11, 2008

My fear would be this would make me smell like an old woman who slathered herself in "White Shoulders" to hide the scent of penis, a mind-numbingly disturbing idea to have gnawing at me throughout the day.

Your fear is that it will make you smell that way? Because the idea that there are old women out there hiding the scent of penis is kind of giving me the willies all on it's own.

Yeah, I said it. Willies.
What?
posted by juv3nal at 12:56 AM on January 11, 2008

when i first heard of the vagina monologues, i thought somebody should have replied with the penis pentimento. i'm too tired/insufficiently talented to favor you right now with a dozen kilobytes of penile free association.
posted by bruce at 1:55 AM on January 11, 2008

And what exactly is the "perfect" penis smell?

Pussy.

Unless fungi is supposed to grow on penises?

But pubic hair makes such a wonderful substrate for my portable shroomery!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:56 AM on January 11, 2008

puke & cry writes "So I'm supposed to be smelling my penis and gauging it's freshness?"

Eponysterical?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:14 AM on January 11, 2008

Dick Sniffer
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:15 AM on January 11, 2008

There is only one way anyone is going to figure out what my penis smells like.
posted by CautionToTheWind at 3:21 AM on January 11, 2008

Alexyss Tylor, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
posted by fandango_matt at 4:03 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Just take a small amount and rub gently on the penis for several minutes up to a half-hour. You'll notice a difference right away.
posted by Cookiebastard at 4:59 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

"Why is it that no matter how much time and effort I put into washing my penis in the shower, I still get that awful whiff of a rancid smell throughout the day, or even right after a shower?"

I think I have a solution for this guy too, it's called soap.
posted by Pollomacho at 5:06 AM on January 11, 2008

Crisp green apple? Oh come on, the REAL money is going to be in chocolate and coffee flavours.

Reminds me of a funny joke I heard when I was but a wee lad.

There are two guys who knew each other growing up. The first guys says to the other "I'm going to make a fortune with my idea! It's a cream that you put on your penis to make it taste like a banana. It's sure to be a success!"

So ten years later the guy has indeed been pretty successful with this, and he's driving a BMW around and wearing nice clothes. But then he runs into his friend, who's being chauffeured around in a Rolls-Royce and is wearing an Armani suit.

So the first guy says, "You bastard! You stole my idea!"

The second guy says "Well you inspired me, but I invented a different product. It's a cream that you put on bananas and it makes it taste like a penis..."
posted by clevershark at 5:13 AM on January 11, 2008

"...and it makes them taste like penises"...

I have really bad grammar these days for some reason.
posted by clevershark at 5:15 AM on January 11, 2008

Gentleperson: I say, I say - my penis has no nose.
Interlocutor: How does it smell?
Gentleperson: Quite nice, actually
posted by kcds at 5:23 AM on January 11, 2008

This is nothing. I use blackberry-flavored condoms. They make my boyfriend's junk smell like pie.
posted by pxe2000 at 5:23 AM on January 11, 2008 [2 favorites]

I use blackberry-flavored condoms.

Your boyfriend may have been ditching the condoms and sticking his penis into the pies. That may be the real reason you think his penis smells of pie. It's actually that your pies smell of penis.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:29 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

Uh, is this supposed "yeast infection" more smelly than smegma? Because every uncircumcised guy has that smelly stuff, just gotta wash it off regularly as the foreskin keeps exfoliating.
posted by desiderandus at 6:31 AM on January 11, 2008

I've acctually been complemented on the smell of my penis (she was particularly gracious, yes, but also a sexual realist*). Yes, I'm bragging.

*I think that's at the heart of a product like this; unrealistic expecations of what the human body is.
posted by Pecinpah at 6:49 AM on January 11, 2008

This problem is not nearly as bad as the scourge of Pedic Perspiration.

Beware!
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 6:55 AM on January 11, 2008

This is a double, because there's already a thread about getting oil and gas out of nearly everything.
posted by lukemeister at 7:02 AM on January 11, 2008

I just decided on the name of my new band, "Rancid Penis".
posted by Mr_Zero at 7:12 AM on January 11, 2008

Just get married. Then you'll never have anyones nose within several feet of your genitals again. Well, except the dog. If you smell rancid enough to offend the dog, forget creams, see a doctor immediatly.
posted by BostonJake at 7:25 AM on January 11, 2008

0xFCAF: This seems to rule out at least 2 activities... so, uh, what exactly am I supposed to do with my new flower-scented wang?

I think it's obvious: Butt secks.

Of course, you'll need to re-apply afterwards...
posted by LordSludge at 7:42 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

I just decided on the name of my new band, "Rancid Penis".

I don't want to rain on your parade but there must be at least one hate site for Rancid with that name.
posted by ersatz at 8:18 AM on January 11, 2008

Why won't they leave Britney's vagina alone?!!?!?!?
posted by jonp72 at 8:23 AM on January 11, 2008

Just marinade nightly with a fruity Valpolicella for the rich appetising scent of cock au vin.

How long have you been waiting to make that joke?
posted by pineapple at 8:43 AM on January 11, 2008

I wonder if they sell t-shirts, if you are going to advertise for something make it something that might convince somebody to smell you penis.
posted by hexxed at 8:44 AM on January 11, 2008

100 posts, and no link to "Smell Yo Dick"?

what?
posted by eustatic at 8:52 AM on January 11, 2008

ok, thanks clearlydemon
posted by eustatic at 9:02 AM on January 11, 2008

I think I just threw up a lot in my mouth. Blaughhghg!

Will this product give rise to more dashing young men with the bad habit of thrusting their hand down their pants, then lifting their fingers to their nose to smell their own vaguely perfumed but still faintly wet-mushroomy aroma? They think we don't see, but oh, we do. I stand in judgement and say "ew, gross, you guys."
posted by wowbobwow at 9:33 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

I have a very delicate, perceptive sense of smell and I still manage to suck a lot of cock. Don't lower the bar.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:41 AM on January 11, 2008 [4 favorites]

Will this product give rise to more dashing young men with the bad habit of thrusting their hand down their pants, then lifting their fingers to their nose to smell their own vaguely perfumed but still faintly wet-mushroomy aroma?

Ummmm... what? Seriously?

Wow.
posted by LordSludge at 9:44 AM on January 11, 2008

hoax.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:49 AM on January 11, 2008

This is nothing. I use blackberry-flavored condoms.

They make your penis taste like overworked businessmen?
posted by anifinder at 9:49 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think I just threw up a lot in my mouth. Blaughhghg!

Will this product give rise to more dashing young men with the bad habit of thrusting their hand down their pants, then lifting their fingers to their nose to smell their own vaguely perfumed but still faintly wet-mushroomy aroma? They think we don't see, but oh, we do. I stand in judgement and say "ew, gross, you guys."

The really funny part is how you threw up a lot in your mouth BEFORE you typed "wet-mushroomy aroma."
posted by pineapple at 10:05 AM on January 11, 2008

I don't understand this product, or this thread, or anything, really.

This stuff is just Tinactin in a different tube, and it presents getting rid of an infection that can easily be passed on to your partner as a vanity issue.

Fungal infections are a legitimate medical concern. If I had a penis, and that penis were infected, I would be more worried about the scaly, itchy, oozing rash than what it *smelled* like.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 10:22 AM on January 11, 2008

To quote Elaine from Seinfeld: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."

"Those things", in this case, being your functioning noses. You non-anosmics must be driven mad by these invisible forces surrounding and distracting you all day.
posted by Robson at 10:40 AM on January 11, 2008

It's important to practice good hygiene,
At least if you want to run with my team.

...

You gotta wash your ass, if you must
You gotta wash your hair, if you must
You gotta brush your teeth douche your cock, if you must
Or else you'll be funk-ay!
posted by anthill at 10:42 AM on January 11, 2008 [1 favorite]

> could it be the smell coming from your buttcrack?

Never have any problem with that, the weasels take care of it.
posted by jfuller at 1:41 PM on January 11, 2008

bruce writes : could it be the smell coming from your buttcrack? ... a quick spray down there ... it would come in raspberry, lime and a pleasing tingly menthol.

Sorry, bub. You've been beaten to the punch on at least one count.
posted by CKmtl at 2:27 PM on January 11, 2008

Ummmm... what? Seriously?

Oh yes, seriously. I've known too many guys with this sniffing habit. Well...just one. But still...

backing out of room slowly before I say more redonkulous crap...
posted by wowbobwow at 3:09 PM on January 11, 2008

::sniff::
posted by LordSludge at 3:45 PM on January 11, 2008

God, I love this site.
posted by Vavuzi at 7:53 PM on January 11, 2008

snsranch writes "If I was a dog this might be cool, but if I was a dog, I would just as soon have someone put peanut butter on it. "

Especially considering the product is poisonous.

freshwater_pr0n writes "Fungal infections are a legitimate medical concern. If I had a penis, and that penis were infected, I would be more worried about the scaly, itchy, oozing rash than what it *smelled* like."

Can you imagine that guy in the pharmacy? "No, no, I just want to get rid of the smell, I'm fine with the scaly, itchy, oozing rash."
posted by Mitheral at 11:31 PM on January 11, 2008