And I thought I was busy

January 27, 2008 6:04 PM

She works six days a week and has sold her husband - twice.
posted by parmanparman (32 comments total)

Good for her ...
posted by Arbac at 6:18 PM on January 27, 2008

I was going to overlook the opening paragraph as a bit of entrance fluff but then came this:
But she has a softer side too, and it is prominently displayed: a chainmail belt that spells out "Chanel" hangs loosely around her hips. She has a baby pink French manicure and perfectly plucked arched brows.
Lordy, it sounds like fan fiction written about The O.C.

not that i would know how that sounds like
posted by liquorice at 6:18 PM on January 27, 2008

Is this boyzone or girlzone? I'm confused.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:21 PM on January 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Bongo FC!
posted by Sk4n at 6:53 PM on January 27, 2008

Is this boyzone or girlzone? I'm confused.

From the opening paragraphs, it's offsides.

What is the point of naming someone "Karren"? Phonetically it's identical to the single "r" version and it can only have led to a lifetime of misspelled credit card accounts and saying "car-in, K-A-R-R-E-N" repeatedly. What kind of parent thinks a child is going to enjoy that?
posted by maxwelton at 7:06 PM on January 27, 2008

Machswelton. That's who.
posted by Sk4n at 7:15 PM on January 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Hey parmanparman, sorry, but I just have to do this:

heeey ana marra a7ob nutella bs fe shi wa7ed ma a7obo feha 7azeroo eh ?! ana agolakom ( enaha marra teta5en marra) bs mn kotor 6a3amatha ma tegdar te8awemha aaah bs :)

Sure, go ahead and flag it! And the next one too!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:28 PM on January 27, 2008

There is a circus in the town, in the town; Stevie Bruce is the clown...
posted by Abiezer at 7:28 PM on January 27, 2008

Here it is!

i hope eno y3jbkoooom ;)
o,da algroup le alnas elle te7oob nutella 6ab3an kolana 3arfenaha :)
o,aktar alnas te7obaha :)
s0o atmna mosharktkom be 9owar wla mwa9'ee3 wla ay shay menkom yekon 7elo :)
o,atmna ay ensan ye7ob eno y3ml invite le alfriends elle 3endo ya reeeeeeet :) 3shaaan kol ma zad al3dd kol ma a7law algroup :):) atmna eno y3jbkom algroup ;)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:28 PM on January 27, 2008

Whoops, Abiezer slipped one in... so don't flag his. I mean the bizarre garbled one just below his.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:29 PM on January 27, 2008

I have to say, reading the comments before the article makes this thread quite surreal.
posted by Infinite Jest at 7:48 PM on January 27, 2008

Something is very wrong here. "heeey ana marra a7ob" gets four google hits. It should not get any. It almost seems like it's some kind of insane way to write arabic. What the hell is going on here? Is this like the secret embedded programming where 1/10 of the human population starts spouting gibberish and turns into alien death machines?
posted by blacklite at 7:52 PM on January 27, 2008

Arabic Chat Alphabet. wtf.
posted by blacklite at 7:54 PM on January 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

(Above comments not meant to imply that people who speak Arabic are insane or death machines, etc, I was just confused, as I still am, I think)
posted by blacklite at 7:56 PM on January 27, 2008

Sorry, flapjax, and mine is actually pretty flaggable for sexism, for those who know how that particular football supporter's ditty ends.
posted by Abiezer at 8:06 PM on January 27, 2008

maxwelton: A surprisingly large number of psychotic parents think their snowflake will be better off for having a 'unique' name. I knew three sisters named Amey, Emiliy and Rachaelle, all pronounced in the normal way. Poor bastards.
posted by jacalata at 8:08 PM on January 27, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

Damn! You have discovered my secret code. Back to the drawing board with that one.
posted by parmanparman at 9:10 PM on January 27, 2008

Lordy, it sounds like fan fiction written about The O.C.
Sorry to say this style is par for the course for UK newspaper coverage of her. Compare A Brum deal:

Karren Brady sweeps into the Dorchester hotel, a tumble of dark-blonde hair and fluff-trimmed coat, Dubai tan and gorgeous scent. She's golden all over, a perfumed lioness and so on.
posted by raygirvan at 9:17 PM on January 27, 2008

Rachaelle

It may be a regional/age thing, but I simply cannot get used to "Rachael" being pronounced identically to "Rachel". To me, the former looks like "RaX-isle" (the X is a voiceless velar fricative).
posted by raygirvan at 9:23 PM on January 27, 2008

that's a perfumed lioness alright
posted by blacklite at 10:18 PM on January 27, 2008

That's a tremendously bad picture of her, blacklite. She looks like Patton Oswalt in a wig.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 10:35 PM on January 27, 2008

liquorice, that's funny. I too got hung up on that paragraph:

But she has a softer side too, and it is prominently displayed: a chainmail belt that spells out "Chanel" hangs loosely around her hips. She has a baby pink French manicure and perfectly plucked arched brows.

I quit reading there. Past that point, the character sketch may turn to the universal questions that define human existence, exploring how fate and willpower intertwine to shape the course of a person's life. If so, will someone please tell me? All I got is, "So she's hot and she runs a football team. Huh."
posted by salvia at 10:37 PM on January 27, 2008

All I got is, "So she's hot and she runs a football team. Huh."

Funny, first all I got was, "So, she sends scam emails saying you have to watch a certain TV 'Chanel' 10 times or you'll DIE."

Then I re-read it, and got, "So, she likes to dress up in the Chanel's latest haute couture UltraDOM fetish armor line of clothing."
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:30 PM on January 27, 2008

Wow, I really should have read more closely.
posted by salvia at 1:06 AM on January 28, 2008

She's done an amazing job at Birmingham City. She squeezes money out of sponsors and supporters in all manner of creative ways. The club has gone from the brink of bankruptcy to turning a profit year after year. However, she is not well-liked by people who work at the club or its supporters. She is dismissive of, and rude to, her employees and her efforts to milk every last penny from the average fan have upset many. I'm not sure too many tears would be shed in Brum should she finally decide to move on.
posted by MrMustard at 2:38 AM on January 28, 2008

What is the point of naming someone "Karren"? Phonetically it's identical to the single "r" version and it can only have led to a lifetime of misspelled credit card accounts and saying "car-in, K-A-R-R-E-N" repeatedly. What kind of parent thinks a child is going to enjoy that?

For some reason, when the decade changed to the 70s, parents decided that the standard spellings were no longer good enough - as a schoolgirl through the 80s my classes were filled with Sharyns, Leisas and Belyndas. Why? I have no idea.
posted by goo at 2:44 AM on January 28, 2008

Well, it's a puff piece about a business person. But I found it interesting - managing a football club at 23 - successfully - would be an extraordinary achievement for anybody, male or female.

And it's extraordinary that, in that environment, she dated and married a player - who, let's not forget, was her employee and subordinate. Managers have to be incredibly ruthless about players - they are just an asset. And that's how she treated him. It's just, impressive. Your ordinary career gal would not make such a risky move; at the time it must have seemed like a terrible lapse of judgment. I can only imagine what the chants on the terraces have been like, let alone the kind of stick she must have got for it in the boardroom. And then she turns around and does exactly what's not expected of her, and in a professional context, acts professionally.

Also, it should be pointed out that immediately after the bit about her perfectly plucked eyebrows, they state that she is wearing no makeup. No true glamazon would meet a journalist without a bit of slap, so it's not like she's the Nigella of football or something. It seems to be a bit of a non-issue. It's kind of a shame; if she was a man they would just say something nice about his suit and that would be the end of it.
posted by tiny crocodile at 2:48 AM on January 28, 2008

I think she is pretty bada$$.
posted by caveat empress at 5:24 AM on January 28, 2008

She sounds like a very impressive lady:

She doesn't feel guilty about working, though: "My kids are healthy, articulate, bright, happy. I read all the stuff about how kids of working mothers tend to do less well at school, but fortunately for me that hasn't proved to be the case." She adds: "I don't have any real advice because it is all about what you personally are comfortable doing. Working mothers tend to have two personalities: home and work. The real trick is not to let one of those personalities drain the life out of the other."

...But something has to give: in 2006 she turned down an invitation to the Oscars because it would have meant being away from the children for too long. "You can't do all the things you want to in life. Nobody can."

This is true. But you might try if you were diagnosed with a life-threatening brain tumour, as Brady was in early 2006. She had to undergo emergency surgery and was told it was a miracle she had managed to give birth to her children without potentially fatal complications. In typical Brady style, she has now put all that behind her: "When people mention 'my illness', I think, 'What are they talking about?' I'm very good at cleaning stuff out of my mind. I don't carry around any baggage. Initially when I found out, and had the operation, I was very sure that I would cut down on my hours, that I would take things a lot easier, take more holidays." But it didn't happen. "I was in intensive care for 24 hours, and when no one was looking I was desperately trying to check my emails. I think it's the longest I had ever been without looking at them. Life goes on, doesn't it?" Indeed it does. She had one week's holiday last year.

flapjax: What the fuck? I'm not sure why you think that's so hilarious, but it's really not.
posted by languagehat at 6:25 AM on January 28, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

flapjax: What the fuck? I'm not sure why you think that's so hilarious, but it's really not.

I'm not sure what you mean, languagehat: have I indicated that I find something hilarious? I was just playfully getting back at parmanparman by copying and pasting the gobbledygook (or secret code, whatever it is) that he dumped into my recent FPP. Sort of a "right back atcha, parmanparman". And I figured my linking to his comments (under the "have" in my first comment upthread) would make that clear. It was my way of telling him that it wasn't so appreciated when he posted that stuff in my FPP. That's all.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:58 AM on January 28, 2008

I think somebody should also explain to any American who may read this that European pro "soccer" is way more unapologetically capitalistic than any American pro sport. The big "clubs" are not "franchises", like in American pro leagues, but independent public companies, often traded in the stockmarket. The players are, these days, only very tenuously bound to their teams by their contracts, and any outstanding player can generate ridiculous bidding wars. The national leagues themselves are a cutthroat Darwinistic affair, where every year the worst performers are relegated to lower leagues, whereas only the best performers get access to the big-bucks European competitions (Champions' League & UEFA Cup). It's nature red in tooth and claw, and no shrinking violet need apply for an MD job.
posted by Skeptic at 7:57 AM on January 28, 2008

Sorry, flapjax, I should have clicked the link.
posted by languagehat at 8:34 AM on January 28, 2008