"You stink. God Rocks. I hate you."

January 30, 2008 9:36 AM

Meet the Sheeples. The rehasher of the Dress-Up Jesus magnets (Previously on MeFi) has immortalized his legion of hate-mailers in comic form. Click each to read the actual tête-à-tête.

You may recall when MeFites got the same treatment from interrobang...

posted by hermitosis (63 comments total)

The quotes and drawings are more funny than the actual exchanges, which are painful. OTOH, at one time I'd have just laughed, rolled my eyes and moved on, but now that they've proved they can take control of the country. Maybe I should read it just to keep reminding myself...Never Again.
posted by DU at 9:47 AM on January 30

Ok, so I get a guilty modicum of lol reading these. Still: Very low hanging fruit.
posted by everichon at 9:57 AM on January 30

Though, if Normal Bob actually did dress up as the devil to go see Passion of The Christ, that's fucking hilarious.
posted by everichon at 9:59 AM on January 30 [1 favorite]

"I don't understand why you have to question everything I'm trying to tell you!" -- Christianity in a nutshell, folks.
posted by Avenger at 10:01 AM on January 30 [13 favorites]

This is the very definition of LOLXTIANS.

Then again, when these XTIANS are LOL, what else can you do?
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:01 AM on January 30 [2 favorites]

My favorite (or, more likely, the best one I found until I gave up swimming in this apparently limitless tide of human stupidity)
posted by panamax at 10:02 AM on January 30 [1 favorite]

Any time anyone brings up their "freedums of speech" I know teh funny is imminent.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 10:07 AM on January 30

The other thing that struck me was the relatively large number of legal threats. .i.e, "You are facing some serious jail time..", "the FBI has been alerted to your website..", "I am contacting the authorities...", etc.

Do these people really believe that we live in that kind of country?
posted by Avenger at 10:11 AM on January 30

Do these people really believe that we live in that kind of country?

Unfortunately, some of them do. I've always wondered if they're similar to the people who believe the FBI is spying on their brains at night.

...you learn a lot about people by working in the mailroom of a media conglomerate.
posted by aramaic at 10:13 AM on January 30

As you will soon discover, LOLLING of XTIANS is specifically prohibited here.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:16 AM on January 30

I'm not LOLLING at them, I'm LOLLING with someone who's LOLLING at them.
posted by hermitosis at 10:20 AM on January 30

This is a great idea, but unfortunately Im just not finding the quotes to be all that funny.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 10:20 AM on January 30

God, this is lame.

O HAI PEOPLES ON TEH INTERNETZ ARE STUPID!

The comics aren't particularly good, and "sheeple"? Does anyone out of high school say that seriously?
posted by klangklangston at 10:20 AM on January 30

You may recall when MeFites got the same treatment from interrobang...

...which were just as immature, childish and counterproductive as these copy paste renderings from this fellow. Somehow I even find these more generic, useless and trite, which I didn't think was possible. Amazing.
posted by prostyle at 10:22 AM on January 30

And why is it that Im supposed to respect someone's completely unfounded ludicrous supernatural beliefs again?

Im not going to go out of my way to fuck with Xtians, but I consider them to be fair game when they try to break up a good LOLXTIANS thread, especially when that thread is concerned with such vapid morons as the ones in the illustrations.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 10:23 AM on January 30

As you will soon discover, LOLLING of XTIANS is specifically prohibited here.

And, soon, all criticism of conservatives will be erased as doubleplusbadthink. Homogeneity, here we come!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:25 AM on January 30

i'm glad to see this person is hard at work making the world a better, happier place
posted by pyramid termite at 10:28 AM on January 30

I agree klangklangston, the comics are uninspired and lazy. Only a few of the quotes are particularly funny on their own. Too easy. These people pick on themselves for you.
posted by Hugonaut at 10:33 AM on January 30

hermitosis, this is offensive and I'M GOING TO SEW YOU!
posted by piratebowling at 10:39 AM on January 30

I'm glad to see this person is hard at work making the world a better, happier place.

Me too. I just wish there were millions of people doing it, instead of just Normal Bob.
posted by Mr_Zero at 10:40 AM on January 30 [3 favorites]

why just why
posted by boo_radley at 10:49 AM on January 30

Oh god, I miss those interrobang cartoons so much.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 10:50 AM on January 30

Wait, what?
Are you Catholic? You are so racist I can't believe it!
posted by boo_radley at 10:52 AM on January 30

Can we disallow the word "sheeple"? Or just disallow the people who say it? Please?
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:56 AM on January 30

seconding Astro Zombie.
posted by boo_radley at 10:59 AM on January 30

"Im not going to go out of my way to fuck with Xtians, but I consider them to be fair game when they try to break up a good LOLXTIANS thread, especially when that thread is concerned with such vapid morons as the ones in the illustrations."

What the fuck are you even on about?
posted by klangklangston at 10:59 AM on January 30

Just pre-empting the bluster that always accompanies these threads.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 11:05 AM on January 30

Meh. Not really even that funny. People defend closely-held irration beliefs, coming up right after sports.
posted by GuyZero at 11:08 AM on January 30

I want to take Normal Bob to church with me.
posted by sciurus at 11:09 AM on January 30

I almost hate to bring this up, but this is exactly the sort of thing that appeals to the persecution complex in most fundamentalists' mindsets. "See? SEE? We're being attacked from every angle!" Of course, I'm not for one second suggesting that NB stop doing... whatever it is that he does. But I once recall being at a charismatic service where they were installing two new lay leaders to work with the young adults. When they were standing in the chancel (or whatever they call it at fundy churches) the senior minister led the entire congregation in a special prayer of protection, "because there are witches and warlocks in our very community who are working daily to disrupt the work of our spiritual leaders." This whole "we're under attack!" mentality does not lend itself to open dialogue - and unfortunately, when you take a person with that mindset and continually prod them with the pointy stick of mockery, the result is usually fear and indignation.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:12 AM on January 30 [6 favorites]

Senor Cardage: "Just pre-empting the bluster that always accompanies these threads."

OH THANK YU FOR DOING THAT IT IS VERY HELFPUL
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:14 AM on January 30 [1 favorite]

Can we disallow the word "sheeple"? Or just disallow the people who say it? Please?

"Disallow" is not a sufficiently strong term. I suggest violence but, of course, I always do that.
posted by aramaic at 11:20 AM on January 30

Just pre-empting the bluster that always accompanies these threads.

Oh. HAHA. That's... that's funny. That's, like, fancy talk for "starting shit" isn't it? Haha! Ha!
posted by katillathehun at 11:22 AM on January 30 [1 favorite]

"sheeple"? Does anyone out of high school say that seriously?

Ron Paul voters do.
posted by octobersurprise at 11:39 AM on January 30 [1 favorite]

That was sad for so many reasons.
posted by milarepa at 12:06 PM on January 30

flagged as crap. moving on.
posted by mikoroshi at 12:07 PM on January 30

Because it would be hilarious.
posted by sciurus at 12:09 PM on January 30

"Ron Paul voters do."

Oh, I meant people who had finished high school.
posted by klangklangston at 12:11 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]

There's nothing wrong with Christianity that a little Christ couldn't fix.
posted by Eideteker at 12:18 PM on January 30

I'm trying to think of what a good Christian response might be. I remember seeing the Jesus magnets a while ago and thought to myself, "oh man, that ain't reverent." And I could see how a large segment of the Christian populace would be seriously offended, given a self righteous need to defend all things to do with Jesus. I mean, it's natural given the how some churches/sect practice their faith.

But, as a I Christian, I believe that Jesus and Christianity as a whole don't really need to be defended from the atheist magnet threat.

And those that judge Normal Bob for what he does, and threaten him, and rail in anger/hatred and wish retribution: well, that's just bullshit behavior for a Christian. One of the main directives of Christian faith is to "treat others as you would want to be treated" and the variations thereof. The people depicted in the pictures don't seem to understand this. The Normal Bob's of the world help pick out the hypocrites. Not that I really care to see Jesus dress up magnets to proliferate like a plague of refrigerator kitsch.

I guess the best response I can come up with would be to ask Normal Bob why he does it; the rarely done thing would be to strike up a friendly conversation with him. But in terms of internets relationships and stumbling into LOLXtian threads, the easier thing is to ignore it.

Personally, I don 't care for the art. A little bit too amorphous blob heads for me. And everyone knows halos are totally for when you're dead and hanging out with King Kai.
posted by Mister Cheese at 12:23 PM on January 30 [2 favorites]

Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Mister Cheese. I too wonder what Normal Bob really thinks about what's going on here-- though I suspect he shoots first and thinks thoughts later.

As someone with a great respect for genuinely religious people, my rule of thumb is that if a person doesn't have a sense of humor about their religion, they don't really have any religion at all.
posted by hermitosis at 1:00 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]

Probably not the best place to ask this, but...

"I recognize you Satan, and I rebuke you in the name of Jesus, the name that is above every name, and I hand you over to His judgment." From the second one... what's the point of this sort of thing, in the mind of the one saying it?

I mean, I could understand them saying it in their heads or to themselves. Like a sort of charm against evil or harm. Like making a sign behind your back against the evil eye, or lifting your feet as the car goes over railroad tracks, or holding your breath as you pass a cemetery.

But what is the expected result of saying it out loud to someone (à la God Warrior Mom), or in an email? Do they expect the person to shriek and go into seizures at the holy rebuke or something?
posted by CKmtl at 1:13 PM on January 30

This is the very definition of LOLXTIANS.

Please, please. For the last time, it's LOLXIANS. You don't call the repackaged Yule celebration XTMAS now, do you?

"sheeple"? Does anyone out of high school say that seriously?

Dunno. Some of us say it comically because, ya know, being all Serious all the time tends to strain your sphincter.
posted by oncogenesis at 1:16 PM on January 30

Ach. Normal Bob is a trollsome ass, and the cartoons wear a bit thin quickly, but thanks anyway, hermitosis, because it ultimately brought me around to interrobang's awesome A Year in Comics project. I've got months and months of it to read through now, which is a happy prospect.
posted by mumkin at 1:23 PM on January 30

"Oh, I meant people who had finished high school."

Yo. Lots of folks who didn't finish high school are not, actually, dumbasses.
posted by batmonkey at 1:29 PM on January 30

I take a little solace in the fact that everyone who uses the term "sheeple" learned it from someone else.
posted by danb at 1:39 PM on January 30

Though, if Normal Bob actually did dress up as the devil to go see Passion of The Christ, that's fucking hilarious.

OMG ... I can't stop laughing. The writing and pictures are hilarious. THIS IS NOT A DATE MOVIE!
posted by ericb at 1:56 PM on January 30

Y'see, I've been in Catholic schools my whole life up to now and I was taught to respect and love others unconditionally and to forgive those that hurt you. I just don't get this kind of people.
posted by flatluigi at 2:09 PM on January 30

I like to think of myself as a peopherd for all the sheeple out there.

Mainly because I like to send my dogs after them, and then chase them with a stick.
posted by quin at 2:47 PM on January 30

I'm less than thrilled by the concept and the name, but the fish on that girl's t-shirt is a nice touch.
posted by ersatz at 2:59 PM on January 30

CKmtl writes: Probably not the best place to ask this, but... "I recognize you Satan, and I rebuke you in the name of Jesus, the name that is above every name, and I hand you over to His judgment." From the second one... what's the point of this sort of thing, in the mind of the one saying it?

There is no point, beyond the self-righteousness of an angry, stupid person. It's the same thing for the people threatening legal action. It has nothing to do with the way they think the world should be. They're just angry, and venting in their primitive hopes of saying something to really get back at that mean Jesus-bashing jerk.

This site doesn't even have that much LOLXIANS value to it, or at least it didn't to me. My first impression of the depicted characters is that they're just run-of-the-mill stupid. Whether or not they were Christians never even gained any relevance to me, because I had already dismissed the contents of the site as pretty lame; run-of-the-mill stupid just isn't that funny.
posted by Brak at 3:06 PM on January 30

Seconding flatluigi.
I was raised a catholic (now agnostic), and i don't recognize this Christ those haters are talking about. Actually, it makes me a little bit ill, in a "yeah, soooo... Muslims are hypocrites when they say their's a religion of peace but OMFG look terrarists!!11ONE!, but, you know, USXIAN is, like, a religion of peace, bro* (* warranty void in case of abortion, atheism, sarcasm, liberalism, socialism, communism, sacrilege, pot-smoking, black people, brown people, slightly-brown catholics, oil, big-not-republican-goverment, caring for the poor and downtrodden, i-got-mine, catholics, peaceniks, and a slew of others)" way.
Christ is pure, unadulterated Love, brother. What the Hell happened to "turn the other cheek"?.
posted by vivelame at 3:11 PM on January 30

Most hilarious short letter is on top of this page, by jogger493.

Let's see what such a good Christian likes to watch on the Youtubes.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 3:14 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]

I don't agree with lumping all Christians into the same category, because they absolutely don't deserve it, but XTIANS who are being particularly hateful or hypocritically judgmental deserve all the LOLs they get. In fact, I find it infuriating that one small, annoying, vocal group causes so much grief that it sticks in people's minds that "This is how Christians all talk, behave and believe" when that is neither true nor fair. LOL away, I say, but be mindful that you're LOLing at ignorance, bigotry and hypocrisy, not Christianity. That goes both for the "LOLXTIANS" and the "NO LOLXTIANS" alike.

That said, the word "sheeple" needs to catapulted into the sun. Now.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:41 PM on January 30

And, soon, all criticism of conservatives will be erased as doubleplusbadthink.

/Me: Ogles Blazecock Pileon's boobies. Finds them severely lacking.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:48 PM on January 30

It's not the irrationality of the beliefs which is a problem, it's the irrationality with which they're held.

And that goes for both sides of any argument ;-)
posted by Pinback at 3:49 PM on January 30

Blazecock Pileon's boobies are perfectly fine and they are made for nourishing his babies anyway not for you to stare at and judge PoopieMcChauvanist.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:53 PM on January 30 [1 favorite]

I'm not LOLLING at them, I'm LOLLING with someone who's LOLLING at them.

That reminds me of one of my favorite movie lines, from Richard Lester's 1973 Three Musketeers:

If you were a gentleman, I would speak to you. I was speaking at you.

posted by kirkaracha at 4:00 PM on January 30

/Me: Ogles Blazecock Pileon's boobies. Finds them severely lacking.

Tell me about it! I've been making a strained, constipated face for years, but nothing happens.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:35 PM on January 30

you know, it's like watching one of those infamous married couples who have been together for years and years and fight constantly like cats and dogs and saying to oneself -

"yeah, they really deserve one another"

where would the sheeple be without a big bad trollf to annoy them?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:13 PM on January 30

I posit that quin's introduction of the term "peopherd" entirely redeems any usage of "sheeples" so long as the two are used in the same pericope.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:04 AM on January 31

Interrobang's were better.

But I've seen worse. So, so much worse.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:10 AM on January 31

I agree with the first cartoon.
posted by mobunited at 3:58 PM on January 31