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FCC, I have a complaint!
January 31, 2008 5:28 PM   Subscribe

The talk show host, Miss Oprah Winfrey is illegally invading my privacy to promote show ideas on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Further, each time I gather evidence of proof, she pays people with her talk show earnings money to bribe them to destroy evidence. Many more complaints to the FCC about selected tv shows here.
posted by oxford blue (76 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
"When Jon Stewart described loosing his keys as “bad”, I think after that he said that the apocalypse was “shitty”. It didn’t get bleeped, and you guys are usually pretty good at that. Either you slipped up or my ears are going bad, but I played it about 10 times and I’m pretty sure that’s what he said. Either way please E-mail me at the address above just to let me know. Thanks"

10 times, eh? And let you know what, exactly? Don't these people have remotes?
posted by ninjew at 5:36 PM on January 31, 2008


In this episode, the students of Springfield Elementary School have revolted against the teachers and administrators, taking ‘control’ of the school. ...

I remember that episode, and read on convinced that the complaint would be about the "Now, chew threw my ballsack" joke...

... The image of the large drawstring bag very clearly, and undeniably, resembled a non-circumcised penis (flaccid state).

Wow.
posted by CKmtl at 5:38 PM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Gah. Through.
posted by CKmtl at 5:38 PM on January 31, 2008


As they begin to overtake and subdue Principal Skinner, one of the students empties out a large brown-colored drawstring bag that is filled with various sports balls (soccerballs/basketballs/voleyballs etc). Mr Skinner is then placed inside the empty sack [...] The image of the large drawstring bag very clearly, and undeniably, resembled a non-circumcised penis (flaccid state). Mr Skinner’s height was the reason for the length of the brown sack, depicted the ’shaft’ and where the sack tapered from Mr Skinner’s shoulders up to his neck where the drawstring had been pulled into a ‘pucker’ depicted the foreskin.

Paging Dr Freud! I guess this guy switched the channel before Skinner asked the class hamster, "Chew through my ball-sack."
posted by Sys Rq at 5:39 PM on January 31, 2008


sigh... beaten to the punch.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:40 PM on January 31, 2008


Wait, Oprah discussed tossing salad? I need to start watching Oprah.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:42 PM on January 31, 2008


I hate people.
posted by pokermonk at 5:44 PM on January 31, 2008


The content is innapropriate for small children and frankly it is offensive to me. I tuned into watch some baseball and some simple Chevy commercials.

People actually want to watch TV for the commercials?
posted by JakeEXTREME at 5:47 PM on January 31, 2008


I know exactly how they feel.

A soap opera writer follows me around, and uses my jewels for TV prime time. Of this I am convinced.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:48 PM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Waitasec, is there even FCC indecency regulation of cable shows?
posted by grobstein at 5:48 PM on January 31, 2008


Some of the sexually explicit Oprah complaints could very well be prank-y ones.

Back before Stern left for Sirius, he was getting a new volley of flack from the FCC. It so happened that around the same time Oprah had that titillating sex episode involving "tossing salad". He was pretty livid about her not being the target of FCC fines/threats for talking about similar stuff, called on people to complain about Oprah and pretty much dared the FCC to act on it.
posted by CKmtl at 5:50 PM on January 31, 2008


Further, each time I gather evidence of proof, she pays people with her talk show earnings money to bribe them to destroy evidence.

Ya' know ... if the decision is between paying the cable TV bill ... and paying for the Haldol prescription...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:50 PM on January 31, 2008


I was watching South Park a few nights ago and I noticed they bleeped out curse words which is great because I don’t want language on tv. But what bothers me is that the FCC over looks the Lords name in Vain. Why are you allowing something that is no different then murder in the eyes of many? I wish the FCC covered things like this, it’s showing to our childeren that it’s ok to say the Lords name in Vain when in fact it is very wrong. Lots of networks say it while bleeping out regular four lettered curse words like FX, USA network. I’m making me very upset with how things are being handled at FCC. I wish for changes.

Um. Dude. South Park.

How could you? I watched the March 14,2006 episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit for 30 seconds and saw two maybe 3 elementary age children shot!!! I quickly changed the channel and then just sat there in shock. I felt nauseous and put my hands over my eyes. “Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.” I stammered as I sat there frozen. My husband grabbed the remote and snapped the TV off, “I’m so sorry, honey.”


I cannot believe that these people are capable of dressing themselves in the morning.
posted by rtha at 5:51 PM on January 31, 2008 [31 favorites]


Wrap your head around this one:

South Park did a show mocking Scientology, which, I believe, is fair game for mocking with their problems. However, as a Christian, I took GREAT offense to their referring to sex with kids.
posted by unsupervised at 5:55 PM on January 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


Waitasec, is there even FCC indecency regulation of cable shows?
posted by grobstein at 5:48 PM on January 31 [+] [!]


No.
posted by xorry at 5:58 PM on January 31, 2008


The final sentences are pretty convincing, although not as intended.

I am appalled by that show anyway ,but now I’m even more anti-Simpsons.

PLEASE DO SOMETHING AlB THIS.;

I tuned into watch some baseball and some simple Chevy commercials.

SHE SHOULD BE TREATED JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YOU GOONS HAVE FINED!

Nudity has NOTHING to do with breast cancer.

If there is anything that I can do please feel free to contact me.

If you cannot remove this program from the air, please advise me of how I can create a lawsuit and hurt them where it counts.

I don’t even watch rated R movies because of that and now I have to skip watching free TV??

posted by Brian B. at 6:00 PM on January 31, 2008


The Catholic Church was portrayed as being intolerant. I was shocked to see the public airwaves used to spread such a malicious message against the Catholic Church. NBC and Law and Order SVU must understand that such treatment of the Catholic Church will not be tolerated.

o_O
posted by martinrebas at 6:01 PM on January 31, 2008 [24 favorites]


Great post. I could read these all day.
posted by eyeballkid at 6:06 PM on January 31, 2008


I cannot believe that these people are capable of dressing themselves in the morning.

Tell me about it! Did you see this one?

My wifeand I were apalled when watching ‘Sex and the City’ onTBS on Tues June 29th at 10pm and the word ‘dick’ was used numerous times.

what

the

fuck?!?
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:06 PM on January 31, 2008


And people wonder why I've wanted to fucking kill myself.

Mainly because I don't have the time or energy to kill all the stupid, stupid people that make me want to kill myself.
posted by loquacious at 6:07 PM on January 31, 2008 [11 favorites]


The content is innapropriate for small children and frankly it is offensive to me. I tuned into watch some baseball and some simple Chevy commercials.

I wish to register a complaint about overly-complex Chevy commercials.
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 6:11 PM on January 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


Why are you allowing something that is no different then murder in the eyes of many?

[blink]

I guess God doesn't have a sense of perspective.

Which I guess it would be difficult to have, what with being all-everything-and-all. Murder, cursing, stomping on bugs, genocide, it's all so teeny-tiny when you're on the scale of God.

Like us having difficulty identifying and measuring the quantum particles, God has difficulty telling cursing from murder.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:13 PM on January 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


Comedy Central’s website does not allow for complaints. It is a classic example of the indecent bleeding heart liberals pushing the envelope on the first ammendment.

Oh, is that what it is? I thought it was corporate-speak for "Fuck off, we don't care what you think. If you don't fucking like our shows, then kill your goddamn television. Or stop paying for cable. Whatever."
posted by rtha at 6:21 PM on January 31, 2008


Maybe - the time has come to “pull the plug” on freedom of the press.
posted by StopMakingSense at 6:28 PM on January 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


This is why you're not allowed to marry your sister, folks: there people who really equate me saying "Jesus H. Fucking Christ" with murder.

I just wish that instead of writing letters, these people had to lodge their complaints in the form of a geocities web site using one of their assortment of "batshitinsane" templates.
posted by maxwelton at 6:29 PM on January 31, 2008


I thought it was corporate-speak for "Fuck off, we don't care what you think"

Actually, the reason is more prosaic than that: occupational health & safety. It's impossible to staff a position reading & responding to viewer complaints without serious employee health risks, like dying of laughter or killing yourself in despair. The government only does it because it has to.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:32 PM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


there people who really equate me saying "Jesus H. Fucking Christ" with murder.

You just made baby Jesus die.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:33 PM on January 31, 2008


Well, I don't know about you, but I just found out about a bunch of episodes of shows that I need to track down for some lovely, entertaining Friday night viewing!
posted by CommonSense at 6:42 PM on January 31, 2008


I have watched many episodes of South Park and most of the time they are pretty funny, but I have seen a few that are very offensive.

¿Whu? I've watched all the episodes of South Park and some of the time they are pretty funny, but I have seen none that were not offensive in some manner or other.

They must be showing a different South Park where he lives. The one I watch is gut-rippingly funny some of the time, meh or okay most of the time, and never anything less than outright offensive toward someone's beliefs.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:43 PM on January 31, 2008


People like this should be air-dropped into reality. I'll bet dollars to donuts that she voted for Bush. Tens of thousands of kids killed by sanction-wielding, war-monging asswipes in the White House, but she's all upset because of simulated violence.

Die of cancer, bitch.


You've decided that she's a Bush supporter, based on nothing. Then you decided that she doesn't care about people in real life, again based on nothing. Then you wished her to die, and not just die, but unpleasantly.

I think she's not the only one taking some things a little too seriously.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:45 PM on January 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


I just witnessed a sex offense on national TV. The host of the program Jerry Springer, who is in his sixties, just kised a 14 year old girl. That is sexual contact that I believe is illegal.

I seem to remember learning something about that in school. Like, you're supposed to wear a dental dam during kissing, so that you don't get her pregnant.

Goddamn, the FCC website just gives and gives and gives.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:48 PM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


¿Whu?

It works thusly:

"Offensive" to theoretical others... hilarious! and not *really* offensive.
"Offensive" to FCC Complainer...... how DARE they?!
posted by CKmtl at 6:48 PM on January 31, 2008


The Catholic Church was portrayed as being intolerant. I was shocked to see the public airwaves used to spread such a malicious message against the Catholic Church. NBC and Law and Order SVU must understand that such treatment of the Catholic Church will not be tolerated.

It's like a supermassive black-hole of stupidity. There's one at the center of each galaxy, and here is ours. Right here.
posted by Avenger at 6:48 PM on January 31, 2008


...er, that isn't the FCC website. Dumb fish.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:49 PM on January 31, 2008


if they are going to show something like that they need to put it on HBO.

I think I want to make this my new tagline. You can imagine almost anything - if they are going to show something sexy - or complex - or confusing - or well-acted - they need to put it on HBO.

Seriously, I've always associated HBO with quality; this writer seems to associate it with sex. Perhaps sex (or lack of hang ups about it) and quality in film go together.

I do think that North America should adopt the BBC "watershed" concept. Basically, before 9pm, everything is suposed to be appropriate for children - no nudity, lower violence, etc. But after 9pm, it seemed like there was a lot more openness, and no one could write in all offended, because your kids are suposed to be asleep and there are warnings on the beginning of programs.
posted by jb at 6:59 PM on January 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Comedy Central’s website does not allow for complaints. It is a classic example of the indecent bleeding heart liberals pushing the envelope on the first ammendment.

Link to Comedy Central's indecent, bleeding-heart, first-"ammendment"-grubbing page for feedback on their programming.

I know the original complainer is rather unlikely to be reading Metafilter, but...well, just sayin'.

(Also, what does not having a feedback page on your site have to do with the first "ammendment" anyway? Some people shouldn't be using the English language, for the same reasons my dogs shouldn't be using the good silver.)
posted by PlusDistance at 7:03 PM on January 31, 2008


Upon further Google searches:

"It was obscene to show Prince, a HOMOSEXUAL person through a sheet... while his guitar showed a very phallic symbol coming from his below midriff section... I would preffer not to have showed it to my 4 children who love football. One of them has hoped to become a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY."
posted by billypilgrim at 7:08 PM on January 31, 2008


(the Smoking Gun, but what are you gonna do...)
posted by billypilgrim at 7:09 PM on January 31, 2008


"My wife and I were apalled when watching ‘Sex and the City’ on TBS on Tues June 29th at 10pm and the word ‘dick’ was used numerous times."

There's way too much I can say about this, but couldn't the complaint have been boiled down to a period after "TBS"?
posted by griphus at 7:12 PM on January 31, 2008


One of them has hoped to become a quarterback and now he will turn out gay.

So he'll be a wide reciever instead.

sorry
posted by jonmc at 7:15 PM on January 31, 2008 [9 favorites]


I do think that North America should adopt the BBC "watershed" concept.

Been there, done that, got the court case.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:24 PM on January 31, 2008


One of them has hoped to become a quarterback and now he will turn out gay. I am actually considering to check him for HIV. Thanks CBS for turning my son GAY.

Lordy. I hope they did take the kid to get tested, and it's on YouTube somewhere. The reaction would be priceless.
posted by CKmtl at 7:25 PM on January 31, 2008


Howard Stern...called on people to complain about Oprah and pretty much dared the FCC to act on it.

The FCC told some of the complainers that Oprah is allowed to say certain off-color words that Stern cannot because she is a "beloved" TV personality.
posted by Jay Reimenschneider at 7:28 PM on January 31, 2008


Oprah is a smarmy, narcissistic charlatan who should be fired from a cannon into the sun.

Oh wait, I guess its bad form to quote myself.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:30 PM on January 31, 2008


The FCC told some of the complainers that Oprah is allowed to say certain off-color words that Stern cannot because she is a "beloved" TV personality.

Cite? Because if this is true, then I'm going to spend 20 years becoming a beloved TV personality and then start up "Avenger's Soft-Core Porn Hour" from 12 to 1pm weekdays.
posted by Avenger at 7:32 PM on January 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


Google "Howard stern" "oprah" and "beloved".
posted by Jay Reimenschneider at 7:38 PM on January 31, 2008


And let's be honest- you don't have to be a repressed pentecostal christian to hate "Sex & the City" and "Desperate Housewives".
posted by Jay Reimenschneider at 7:40 PM on January 31, 2008


Desperate housewives. The whole show is awful.

Wait, we can complain about shows simply because they're bad? Excuse me, I have a couple hundred complaints to file.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:43 PM on January 31, 2008


Been there, done that, got the court case.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:24 PM on January 31 [+] [!]


You really need to protect political speech and educational speech, but speech in the form of art can be restricted, and is restricted all the time in the form of ratings. The FCC itself censors.

But I think the watershed will promote free speech more than the current situation, because by putting adult content after 9pm, it means there is no argument to ban most content. There would be no reason to ban swear words, or naked breasts. And British television does have a lot more nudity and openness about sex than American television.

Now, the issue of what is allowed before 9 is fairly loose - I'm pretty sure that soap operas air before 9pm, as do many films. I've certainly never felt like it was restrictive. That said, while the family oriented Doctor Who is on at 7pm, Torchwood airs at 10pm.
posted by jb at 7:57 PM on January 31, 2008


Lots of hilarious prudery to belittle, but why were you guys railing against the poor lady who felt emotionally traumatized when she accidentally watched the depiction of kids being shot?
posted by damehex at 8:25 PM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Avenger, I think you have a complaint already:

PEOPLE HAVE SEX AND I THINK ITS TOTALLY GROSS!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF
YOURSELF AND THE FACT THAT 2 PEOPLE CAN HAVE CRAZY NASTY SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU ONNATIONAL TELEVISION!!! AHHH!!!! kEEP YOUR PANTS ON ABC!!;



This one is sad though. I used to know someone who's schizophrenic, and this is very similar to some of the things she strongly believes after watching tv.

The talk show host, Miss Oprah Winfrey is illegally invading my privacy to promote show ideas on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Further, each time I gather evidence of proof, she pays people with her talk show earnings money to bribe them to destroy evidence.
posted by Tehanu at 8:31 PM on January 31, 2008


why were you guys railing against the poor lady who felt emotionally traumatized when she accidentally watched the depiction of kids being shot?

Because kids being shot is funny, dammit, not traumatic.

That woman needs to watch more TV, in order to re-tune her sensitivity to normal modern levels.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:32 PM on January 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I do think that North America should adopt the BBC "watershed" concept.

I thought we already had this... or am I thinking of radio only?
posted by spiderskull at 8:37 PM on January 31, 2008


I cannot believe that these people are capable of dressing themselves in the morning.

Perhaps not, but they sure as heck are capable of voting. Enjoy your democracy!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:14 PM on January 31, 2008


JERRY SPRINGER ABC ABSOLUTELY DISDAINFUL–SHOULD BE REMOVED @ THIS TIME PERIOD ACTUALLY REMOVED FROM TV


You know, I actually kind of agree. Is that bad?
posted by smoothvirus at 9:22 PM on January 31, 2008


Perhaps not, but they sure as heck are capable of voting. Enjoy your democracy!

*cries*
posted by rtha at 9:23 PM on January 31, 2008


I do so love people that get offended by the words I use.

Let me assure everyone, when no one is watching, including those that care about things like using the 'lord's name in vain' and the like, that the LORD, said unto me...

say 'fuck'.

A lot.

And now, I'm like a fucking prophet.
posted by quin at 9:25 PM on January 31, 2008


I was watching South Park a few nights ago and I noticed they bleeped out curse words which is great because I don’t want language on tv

So... no language? I would suggest muting the TV, but then you'd still get body language and sign language. Hmm.. I don't even know where to begin programming TV for people who don't want language.

How's about just throwing away the TV and going back to your favorite 2000 year old tome?
posted by revmitcz at 9:34 PM on January 31, 2008


I'll bet dollars to donuts that she voted for Bush.

You beat me to it. There's something about the Average American Christian Conservative that boggles the mind: they try so hard to depict themselves as morally upright people that they forget to actually practice the basic tenets of their morality.
This is the same problem with Fundamentally Obsessed Muslims, who try so hard to be the protectors of their faith, that they ultimately end up doing more harm than good.

These people really need to get their heads out of their asses asap.
posted by hadjiboy at 9:35 PM on January 31, 2008


Regarding what US broadcasters can and cannot show: see the FCC's indecency rules. Basically, there is a "safe harbor" between 6am and 10pm where *broadcast* outlets (i.e. over-the-air radio and tv) may not show indecent programming (obscenity is never allowed). After 10pm, you could say "shit" all you want and you can't get fined (so far, anyway). Also, it's technically not censorship, in that the FCC does not have the authority to prevent--in advance-- broadcasters from airing specific shows. Rather, they have the power to levy fines as punishment after the fact for violating the indecency policy. And they are notoriously flip-floppy in their rulings as to what is indecency. It's totally insane, really.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 9:39 PM on January 31, 2008


The Oprah Winfrey show was talking about breast cancer during breast cancer awareness month. That is a noble thing . However bare breasts were shown for a long period of time. Nudity has NOTHING to do with breast cancer.

(o)(o)
posted by hadjiboy at 9:41 PM on January 31, 2008


If I ever meet Penn and Teller I
am going to obscenely smash their heads in.


I can sympathize with this, but how does one "obscenely" smash heads in? Should I be naked and swearing at the same time?

On the alternative side, is there an inoffensive way to smash heads in? 'Cuz I think "Penn & Teller Get Their Heads Smashed In" would be an awesome prime time special, and I don't want to get in trouble with the FCC.
posted by never used baby shoes at 9:42 PM on January 31, 2008


... but why were you guys railing against the poor lady who felt emotionally traumatized when she accidentally watched the depiction of kids being shot?

Because she has the emotional maturity of an equal age to the ficitonalised bullet ridden tykes. The hamminess of her rocking herself while chanting 'oh my gosh' might have somthing to do with it. Did it not occur to her that a show called 'law and order' might feature acts of violence that transgress both the law and order of the title?
posted by oxford blue at 9:43 PM on January 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I can sympathize with this, but how does one "obscenely" smash heads in?

You could try using your erect penis to do the smashing?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:52 PM on January 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


For a weekly version of this kind of pedantry, just open up your 'Letters to the Editor' section of your local newspaper.

"Dear Sir. I believe that the font that is used on our local street signs is inappropriate. Rather than an Arial style font, I believe that Times New Roman would be much better looking."

The sad thing is that while not a direct quite, I didn't actually make that up. I read pretty much that letter in that section of the paper a few years ago.

I honestly believe that there are people out there who have nothing better to do than complain and that letters to the editor and organisations like the FCC is there only outlet to the world for their pent up frustrations.
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:02 PM on January 31, 2008


My absolute favorite:

The recent episode of South Park featuring Jesus defecating on President Bush was blasphemous to our religion and a disgrace to our country.


What a marvelous sentence.
posted by MythMaker at 11:17 PM on January 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


These letters aren't that different from the feedback I get daily. Except in the emails I get people complain about ads. On the other end of the scale are groups of users who have strange kinks, and want ads depicting "white socks", anthropomorphic animals, red haired models or little people and simply can not wait until we have them so they email every day gasping "when will you get that new Tide commercial with the blond wearing the white socks on teh SOFE!1!!??". Creepy.
posted by dabitch at 1:22 AM on February 1, 2008


They have no idea the pain they inflict on America’s veterans when they bum the flag. If I ever meet Penn and Teller I am going to obscenely smash their heads in.

I have no idea why anyone would "bum" a flag. Burn maybe, but not bum.
posted by longbaugh at 4:16 AM on February 1, 2008


I honestly believe that there are people out there who have nothing better to do than complain and that letters to the editor and organisations like the FCC is there only outlet to the world for their pent up frustrations.

They're a dying breed. The younger generation gets a blog. Or posts here.
posted by kjs3 at 4:25 AM on February 1, 2008


Or writes shrill Amazon "reviews."
posted by mothershock at 5:17 AM on February 1, 2008


Yeesh, you people are forgetting the real victims here -- the poor saps at the FCC who have to read these things!

Day in, day out, processing paperwork from obsessive subhuman freaks. Think about that. It's got to be soul-destroying.

FCC folks, have a beer on me.
posted by aramaic at 6:01 AM on February 1, 2008


I recently watched Desperate Housewives where two teen aged men were kissing each other on free TV. This repugnant programing I feel should be censored and fined made me very horny, but I've been raised in a sexually repressive culture, so I'm going to ask you to take it off the air instead of dealing with my feelings.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:57 AM on February 1, 2008 [3 favorites]


This is why I keep what I call the DLDW policy.

DLDW stands for: "Don't like? DON'T WATCH!"

I mean, if the show has a note at the front 'this tv show may contain strong language, violence, and sexual situations', don't be surprised when someone curses, you see people in bed, and someone gets shot. If you don't like those things, there's more channels.

Maybe watch the program guide. It's probably about the speed of some of these judgement-impaired coelocanths.
posted by mephron at 8:13 AM on February 1, 2008


Day in, day out, processing paperwork from obsessive subhuman freaks. Think about that. It's got to be soul-destroying.

Honestly, I wish this was my job. It's so funny to read these.
posted by agregoli at 8:15 AM on February 1, 2008


To paraphrase George Carlin, I wonder if these idiots realize that there are a couple of buttons on their universal remote. One turns off the television, the other changes the channel!

To quin, can I use that in a stand-up act? That's comedy gold right there.
posted by Reth_Eldirood at 11:40 AM on February 1, 2008


but how does one "obscenely" smash heads in?

Hit 'em in the head with this.
posted by InfidelZombie at 1:58 PM on February 1, 2008


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