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Chicken hypnotism
February 4, 2008 11:37 PM   Subscribe

There's more than one way to hypnotize a chicken.
posted by starkeffect (19 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
My favorite way to hypnotize a chicken is by breading it and deep frying it and eating it.
posted by Skygazer at 11:48 PM on February 4, 2008 [3 favorites]


Hypnotise the bun-bun.
posted by The Monkey at 11:51 PM on February 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


Bunny Fart.
posted by Skygazer at 11:56 PM on February 4, 2008


Yes, but does it really help them quit smoking?
posted by Tube at 12:07 AM on February 5, 2008 [2 favorites]


It all seems so innocent, but chicken hypnotism is just a gateway to trout tickling
posted by zippy at 12:13 AM on February 5, 2008


Well I'm just a modern guy.
posted by freebird at 12:14 AM on February 5, 2008 [3 favorites]


Cecil sez:

In the old days it was thought you had to draw a line in front of the chicken with chalk, but modern masters of the art have learned you can dispense with the props. The trick seems to require physically restraining the chicken and administering some strong stimulus, e.g., drawing lines. This induces total sensory overload in the chicken's two-volt brain, putting him/her/it under for anywhere from 15 seconds to 30 minutes.

Alternatively, I understand, you can pop the chicken's cork with a beady-eyed stare. If it's pigeons you're after, a small piece of white putty on the end of the beak is recommended. Allegedly it is also possible to put the nod on a vicious horse by grabbing its nose, pulling its head down, and blowing "strongly and steadily into its ear for about five minutes," it says here. You first, buddy.

posted by Rhaomi at 12:14 AM on February 5, 2008


Indeed. Just place a frosty bottle of delicious beer on a table in front of me.

Hey presto, hypnotized!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:48 AM on February 5, 2008


I suppose it answers the age old question.

... because Paul McKenna told it to.
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 2:01 AM on February 5, 2008


'...I thought everyone knew how to hypnotize chickens.'
Not til now.
posted by MtDewd at 3:22 AM on February 5, 2008


This is horese shit! Hypnotism is bunk! I will not stand for... wow look at the shiny... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
posted by Pollomacho at 4:31 AM on February 5, 2008


I learned how to hypnotize chickens from Werner Herzog's awesome commentary track (featuring Crispin Glover) on the "Even Dwarves Started Small" DVD. Chickens frighten him because they are so stupid.
posted by ghastlyfop at 4:40 AM on February 5, 2008 [1 favorite]


um. well, if one wants a useful application of hypnotizing a chicken, it's done a little differently than shown in these clips.

when we were kids, my sister and i used to have to collect the eggs from our henhouse. the chickens would put up a bit of a fight, pecking and scratching our hands. to keep them from doing any (admittedly minor) injury, we used the following trick, taught to us by an old lady rancher:
with one hand - finger pointed - slowly but steadily draw a circle in the air around the chicken's head, just where the bird can see the tip of your finger. make a spiral inwards, getting closer with each circle, until you reach the chicken's beak, then touch the tip of the beak, gently. this should only take about 30 seconds. the bird will stare calmly into space for awhile, allowing you to reach under it and gather the egg without getting pecked. usually they snap back pretty fast, but if the hen is still out of it, a light tap on the beak will wake 'em up again.
posted by lapolla at 4:50 AM on February 5, 2008


I love this thread. It is much better than Cats. I'm going to see it again and again...
posted by chillmost at 5:45 AM on February 5, 2008


Why would anybody WANT to do this?
If you want his billfold just get him drunk and then steal it when he goes to the restroom, silly.
posted by Dizzy at 7:54 AM on February 5, 2008


I learned how to hypnotize chickens from Werner Herzog's awesome commentary track (featuring Crispin Glover) on the "Even Dwarves Started Small" DVD. Chickens frighten him because they are so stupid.

Appropriately enough, I was motivated to post this after watching Herzog's "The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser", which has a scene showing a chicken getting hypnotized using the chalk-line method.

And they may be stupid, but they sure can dance.
posted by starkeffect at 9:53 AM on February 5, 2008 [1 favorite]


man, that obama thread sure does need some farting bunnies. sheesh!
posted by CitizenD at 10:08 AM on February 5, 2008


Almost any political thread would be better with a farting bunny in it. I've never been one to really like fart jokes, but I fall off my chair everytime I see that. (Sometimes it's a good thing to know that a fart gag can still make you laugh.)

(BTW that farting bunny is voting for Obama. Poot poot.).
posted by Skygazer at 10:28 AM on February 5, 2008


I was hoping this would somehow involve Robot Chicken.

I was sadly mistaken.
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 1:50 PM on February 5, 2008


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