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Who's taking up all the space in the freezer?
March 4, 2008 5:27 PM   Subscribe

This meal wasn’t so much a lunch as an act of vengeance. The brave -- or perhaps just lazy -- souls at HeatEatReview sacrifice their tastebuds and stomachs so that cubicle dwellers like me can eat only the finest processed foods at our desks every day. Actually not like me, I'm having another damn salad.
posted by sevenyearlurk (26 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite

 
That young lady had me at, "Pocket of fish juice."
posted by Dizzy at 5:33 PM on March 4, 2008 [2 favorites]


They've got nothing on Lunchables Mess With Your Mouth Chicken Dunks.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:42 PM on March 4, 2008


Also it sounds like she says "fish dicks" which of course made the six-year-old in me giggle like ... well, like a six-year-old.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:45 PM on March 4, 2008 [1 favorite]


It's like Andrew Zimmern's show, but with stuff you buy at Target!

Screw you, Andrew; I'm playing this game at home.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:49 PM on March 4, 2008


Hehe! Great site!
posted by amyms at 5:58 PM on March 4, 2008


"I shucked a lot of corn as a kid--I know that sounds like some sort of euphemism, but you could Google it, it's a real word."
posted by uncleozzy at 6:07 PM on March 4, 2008


I shucked a lot of corn too. We also made ice cream with a hand crank machine.

Kids...all over lawn....loud music....I better lie down.
posted by DU at 6:38 PM on March 4, 2008


I've been oddly enamored of HeatEatReview for several months now, though I never eat the kind of food they describe. I cannot resist them, and the less pleasing their meals are, the better I am pleased.
posted by Elsa at 6:42 PM on March 4, 2008


I did something like this at my old job. Sorry the archive page is displaying only one post, but here they are.
posted by sciurus at 6:49 PM on March 4, 2008


Elsa, "oddly enamoured" perfectly describes my fascination with this site as well. I don't think most of the brands reviewed are even available here in Toronto but the reviews intrigue me no less than those of restaurants I'll never visit.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 7:01 PM on March 4, 2008


This is clearly going to become my next guilty pleasure site to browse. "I like fish but I don't drink it" is just wonderful.
posted by nuala at 7:03 PM on March 4, 2008


I will use this site before I do any grocery shopping. Yeah, I eat this crap. It's what I do.

What?
posted by Salmonberry at 7:13 PM on March 4, 2008


Yeesh, she's a teeth scraper. Shudder.

Good reviews though.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:14 PM on March 4, 2008


this is really an excellent site for all us poor, lonely schmucks. really!
it really is!
thanks!
posted by es_de_bah at 8:38 PM on March 4, 2008


I have a huge crush on that girl.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 8:40 PM on March 4, 2008


I shucked a lot of corn too. We also made ice cream with a hand crank machine.

Oh yeah? I've churned BUTTER!
posted by evilcolonel at 9:04 PM on March 4, 2008


The written reviews are really good. Several made me laugh out loud.

...this meal comes with many packets. One of these is a dehydrated coconut milk foil pouch. Upon opening the packet, I mistook it for sugar. It is not sugar. It is nature’s way of killing off people who indulge in Peanut Noodles too often.

...towards the last 3/4 cup of rice I just kind of felt like letting it all fall out of my mouth right there onto my keyboard, and maybe moaning a little bit or whimpering pathetically because I was just tired of it- the grit, the sweetness, the mystery lentils.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:23 PM on March 4, 2008


This is a great find.

I have never rated anything I have eaten a zero because ultimately, eating crappy food is better than not eating. But this made me realize that I was wrong. I was so wrong. Every bite of mushroom beef made me regret living. Because living meant I was still eating this meal.

posted by slimepuppy at 3:01 AM on March 5, 2008


I have a huge crush on that girl.

Seconded. Abi Jones, do you come in six-packs or something?
posted by pax digita at 3:21 AM on March 5, 2008


I was going to start a site like this... figures someone beat me to it.

They need to try the Boston Market Turkey with Cranberry sauce. Best frozen dinner I've ever had. The Lean Cuisine meals are better than most as well.
posted by inthe80s at 5:16 AM on March 5, 2008


This, sadly, is the perfect site for me. I work in a cubicle and I eat that kind of food. I've been branching out beyond ramen lately, but it's a jungle out there.
posted by tommasz at 6:13 AM on March 5, 2008


This, sadly, is the perfect site for me. I work in a cubicle and I eat that kind of food. I've been branching out beyond ramen lately, but it's a jungle out there.

Same here. I especially like it because it lists Weight Watchers Points. (sigh)
posted by Lucinda at 6:34 AM on March 5, 2008


Thank you so much for this. This is going to kill so much time!

Lean Cuisine says: Shrimp and angel hair pasta in a creamy seafood sauce with accents of sherry, tossed with red peppers.

Amanda says: No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. NO.


Awesome.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 6:59 AM on March 5, 2008


I'm gonna try to be the reviewer for Canadian products at this site. Perfectly amazing.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 8:58 AM on March 5, 2008


You know, I had given up eating stuff like this for lunch... mostly because innumerable times, after the first bite, I regretted spending the $5 that could have bought something like an apple and a can of soup instead with change left over. But seeing as you can click on the star ratings and find the hidden treasure of singleton lunches, I might... MIGHT wade back into the freezer section!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 9:57 AM on March 5, 2008


I don't care what Campbell wants to call them, they are not "Soup at Hand®" or a "container of soup" or whatever the hell terminology they are choosing to use here, they are called "soup grenades"; this is the proper nomenclature. Get it right.

And speaking of Campbell, it's a shame they didn't review the Roadhouse chili microwave can. It's like crack; completely addictive, kind of inexpensive, and good for a quick lunch.

But avoid the Firehouse chili, it's just as tasty, but prone to explode (seriously) when being heated up.
posted by quin at 2:51 PM on March 5, 2008


« Older Zip up that dangling modifier--it's National Gramm...  |  Ashcan School. Gritty, realist... Newer »


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