Weenies galore:

April 19, 2001 3:10 PM

Weenies galore: Pre-internet, it was used to drop your pants and sit down in the office photocopier. Now you can scan your nob and display it proudly to the rest of the world. Now I guess this is what they really meant about the Internet bringing great progress to the world...

(Disclaimer: kids probably shouldn't see this)
posted by betobeto (29 comments total)

Great. That is EXACTLY what I wanted to see. Someone else's penis pressed against glass. Wonderful. I think I will just go hurl a colon donut now.
posted by bradth27 at 3:21 PM on April 19, 2001 [1 favorite]

: kids probably shouldn't see this

NO ONE should
posted by ParisParamus at 3:25 PM on April 19, 2001

This is so wrong on so many levels. And think about all those innocent props that were probably "borrowed" from coworkers after-hours.

"Did someone move my Gumby? Oh, there it is."
posted by mgtrott at 3:36 PM on April 19, 2001

I think I will just go hurl a colon donut now.

Quote of the day!
posted by pnevares at 3:44 PM on April 19, 2001

You know, I'm all for having a good body image and all that, but there's really no getting around the fact that penises are just hilariously ugly. Did anyone else check out the "Cards" section? (I'm not going to link it, because someone might click it before I get a chance to tell them that some of them are terrifying.)
posted by Skot at 3:56 PM on April 19, 2001

Umm... Did this really need to make MetaFilter? I feel like my hurled colon donut has been terribly violated.
posted by Dane at 5:27 PM on April 19, 2001

They look terribly unhealthy.
posted by holloway at 6:34 PM on April 19, 2001

I was in a band called Colon Donut.

While the idea of penes being copied is simply not interesting to me, the idea of penes being copied on a plate of glass often touched by other people in the process of copying non-penis items really really really disgusts me.

I love the web!
posted by hijinx at 6:36 PM on April 19, 2001

hijinx: Penes? Penises? Penii? Somebody call a penologist. Or a phallicist. *head hurts*
posted by allaboutgeorge at 6:53 PM on April 19, 2001

I don't know which is more disturbing: That so many of them seem to be shaved, or that so many of them seem to be much more hairy than what I presumed to be average. ::looking down::
posted by aaron at 7:25 PM on April 19, 2001

Why is the average American (and perhaps elsewhere) male so freaked out by penises?
posted by alan at 7:26 PM on April 19, 2001

'Scuse me, I have to go wash the research paper I just scanned this morning...
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 7:33 PM on April 19, 2001

It's penes for me, although you can use penises, too.

Boy that sounds great out of context.
posted by hijinx at 8:07 PM on April 19, 2001

allaboutgeorge: "penii" is just wrong (only nouns ending with -us get pluralized with an "i"; the worst is people try to add an "i" to "porpoise"). "Penes" is right in Latin and acceptable in English. "Penises" is preferred. Says me.
posted by sylloge at 8:12 PM on April 19, 2001

Sylloge prefers penises!
posted by ericost at 8:18 PM on April 19, 2001

Wow, some people are really, really bored.
posted by Witold at 8:22 PM on April 19, 2001

Wow, some people are really, really bored

That accurately describes the entire known web. :)
posted by owillis at 8:34 PM on April 19, 2001

Eric, Stewart is allowed to prefer penises; He's Canadian.
posted by anildash at 9:06 PM on April 19, 2001

I think, dictionary be damned, that "penises" is the only way to go (please don't spend too long parsing that sentence).

I seem to remember that "penes" is also a Latin preposition. I'm not looking this up, so I could just be shooting off my, er, mouth, but I think it means "in the possession of" and takes the accusative. You could then have the Latin phrase, "penes penes," meaning "in the possession of penises." I'm not going to suggest why you'd need that phrase, but it's there for you. Just in case...
posted by MarkAnd at 9:47 PM on April 19, 2001

Oh come on! Why so disgusted? The penis is the cleanest part of the body!
posted by kindall at 11:15 PM on April 19, 2001

Oftentimes I have posted something to MeFi, and then someone else comes along and responds to my words by asking, "Jesus Zach did you even read the original link in question before shooting off your wad?" This time I can honestly say no. I did not click on the link in question. I will not click on the link in question. I simply have no desire to see the body part in question illuminated in the darkness and pressed up against glass. I prefer pussy thank you very much. *smirk*
posted by ZachsMind at 3:53 AM on April 20, 2001

non-penis items

This phrase has made my day. I'm so sick.
posted by Dreama at 6:33 AM on April 20, 2001

no anil, you've got it wrong. the phrase is "gay or canadian" not "gay and canadian."
posted by heather at 8:50 AM on April 20, 2001

Dammit, dammit, dammit! I always get that wrong. Between this and falling in love with Dean's websites, i might have to reconsider my whole attitude towards Canadians...
posted by anildash at 9:57 AM on April 20, 2001

My friends this is a crazy world, full of crazy people, Is not the type of website I personally would use. But, there are many people who will consider it interesting. Therefore, do not be alarmed to see stupid things like this.
posted by tonyramirez7 at 10:11 AM on April 20, 2001

Loathsome enemies, cherished friends: you cannot deny what Tony Ramirez 7 has just said. DO NOT BE ALARMED. Also, Dean and I are no so much "Canadians" as people who live in Vancouver's West End. Heather is merely a Canadian, however.
posted by sylloge at 11:54 AM on April 20, 2001

The West End = the Third Solitude. Or just a dense gathering of cranky old ladies, gay men and mullets. Either way, not terribly Canadian, no.
posted by textist at 3:17 PM on April 20, 2001

Hey texist: you're steering this thread out of the junior high school locker room: what's wrong with you?!
posted by ParisParamus at 5:35 PM on April 20, 2001

Is it kosher to resize your image size in Photoshop? Not that I would ever need to do that . . .
posted by sixdifferentways at 6:34 PM on April 22, 2001