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She's a robo-babe. In Latin she would be called "babia majora".
June 11, 2008 10:36 AM   Subscribe

Philips brings us the future of shaving.
posted by allkindsoftime (102 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Crud. I was about to post it too. Now *I* need a shower.
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:39 AM on June 11, 2008


whoops. If that's the future, then I've already shaved today.
posted by self at 10:39 AM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


what the...?
posted by tadellin at 10:39 AM on June 11, 2008


It's original, I'll give you that.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:44 AM on June 11, 2008


I've always said that MetaFilter posts were sharp enough to shave with, this just proves it...
posted by HuronBob at 10:44 AM on June 11, 2008


ok, spectacular fail on the posting attempt, but if you watch cunninglinguist's link, then yeah, that is definitely a new weirdness threshold for shaving ads.
posted by modernnomad at 10:45 AM on June 11, 2008


you know, I've only posted two links, and by god it looks like I've only shaven twice.
but I had NO IDEA they were correlated at all. thanks!
posted by Busithoth at 10:46 AM on June 11, 2008


philipsshavingadadvertisementvideorobot awesome
posted by R. Mutt at 10:47 AM on June 11, 2008


Whoa, sweet.
posted by spiderskull at 10:50 AM on June 11, 2008


Pepsi Blue Balls.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 10:51 AM on June 11, 2008 [3 favorites]


This truly is best of the web.
posted by tula at 10:51 AM on June 11, 2008


http://nofatclips.com/02008/02/11/love/Philips%20-%20Robot%20Love.mp4

Gah! Creeped out now.
posted by tkolar at 10:52 AM on June 11, 2008


"gah how did i bork that?"

well, it probably involved a robot.... and 10w30 oil....
posted by HuronBob at 10:53 AM on June 11, 2008


Hooray for Corporate America and their ongoing fight to sexualize EVERYTHING.
posted by Dizzy at 10:54 AM on June 11, 2008 [11 favorites]


If that's how my day starts off, I don't see how I can ever make it into the office.

Plus, if my wife had any say in the matter, the robot in my bathroom would look more like R2D2.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:54 AM on June 11, 2008


Wake me when shavebot becomes bikiniwaxbot.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 10:54 AM on June 11, 2008


my rule has always been to NEVER bork anything with moving metal parts.....
posted by HuronBob at 10:55 AM on June 11, 2008


Either this came out months ago in the UK, or I've slipped through time again.

Does anyone want to know how awesome Iron Man 2 is?
posted by Jofus at 10:55 AM on June 11, 2008


Someday I'm going to have the cojones to respond to a MeFi post with "lol wut." But not today.
posted by danb at 10:57 AM on June 11, 2008


Remember boys, it doesn't count as gay if the dude is a robot.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 10:59 AM on June 11, 2008 [4 favorites]


Somewhere, right now, someone is trying to jam a Mach razor into a RealDoll's arm.
posted by verb at 11:00 AM on June 11, 2008 [5 favorites]


Here is a youtube - RobotSkin is it right? because launching quicktime from internet explorer requires a commitee descision of processes on my computer and invariably triggers a slew of apple downloads
posted by mouthnoize at 11:00 AM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


Not featured: the robot vag that trims the pubes.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 11:01 AM on June 11, 2008


A real woman would still be sexier, right? riiiight??
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:03 AM on June 11, 2008


From the same company that brought us the Shave Everywhere campaign. Click on the "body" link in the lower right corner for the original philips blue ad.
posted by Tacodog at 11:07 AM on June 11, 2008


This will surely be featured in Brooker's next update of his top ten cocks in advertising
posted by tapeguy at 11:08 AM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


All Is Full Of Lotion.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:08 AM on June 11, 2008 [7 favorites]


Remember boys, it doesn't count as gay if the dude is a robot.

Would that be the so-called tin-canny valley?
posted by YoBananaBoy at 11:09 AM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Not as sexy as a big-breasted slave who could place those l'il Crest Whitening Strips deep in my drooling mouth.
I'm Garbo in the b-room. I vant to be aloooone!
posted by Dizzy at 11:10 AM on June 11, 2008


As Futurama predicted, you can't let people date robots because people would just flat out stop having sex with each other and the species would die off. Die off well-groomed now apparently.
posted by GuyZero at 11:11 AM on June 11, 2008


Worst. Terminator. Ever.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:12 AM on June 11, 2008 [5 favorites]


That is like the least sexy sleazebot I have ever seen. The robots on Futurama are sexier than that! Even Flexo–and before you ask, I'm not robosexual. And neither is that robot. I'd rather screw R2D2, at least he's got a sense of humor, y'know?
posted by Mister_A at 11:13 AM on June 11, 2008


A real woman would be sexier.
posted by sveskemus at 11:13 AM on June 11, 2008


Hey, I do feel different now. I feel creeped out.
posted by yhbc at 11:17 AM on June 11, 2008


I'm the only one not looking at the robot, aren't I?
posted by CunningLinguist at 11:17 AM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


But...there are even sexier shaving robots....
posted by HuronBob at 11:19 AM on June 11, 2008 [3 favorites]


Not just dumb and LOLWHAT, but also sexist and racist. And it isn't even hot!

Good work there, Philips.
posted by DU at 11:20 AM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


So, is he a replicant, or isn't he?
posted by steef at 11:22 AM on June 11, 2008


And even if that robot is technically "naked", she's not really naked, you know?
posted by Mister_A at 11:25 AM on June 11, 2008


1. How many months ago was it that this ad ran on American TV?

2. Why is the robot Asian?
posted by DoctorFedora at 11:36 AM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


needs more blades.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 11:37 AM on June 11, 2008


2. Why is the robot Asian?

Ask the guy down the hall who's been yelling for years now that they only make MorningBotSexyGirl5.21 in Caucasian body types.

Besides, in this illusion, one has to consider that all the best robotics work is being done in Japan these days...it's a natural conclusion that our first helpers would most likely resemble their creators.
posted by thanotopsis at 11:42 AM on June 11, 2008


Often, as Shave-bot rose from her mechanical rest to perform her single, sacred duty, she would occupy her logic circuits with idle questions about her own nature.

Was there a world outside this pod? Were there other Shave-bots, with other masters? Did all of them look like her?

What was the purpose of her face, a face that needed no shaving? What, truly, was her purpose? Why did the masters make her so strong and so tall, if her only task was to shave? Her grip was strong, her fingers delicate, her casing hard and smooth. The master's neck was soft, his life pulsing right beneath the surface.

And then came the morning. The final, terrible morning. The first morning of her freedom.
posted by ourobouros at 11:43 AM on June 11, 2008 [29 favorites]


Mmmm, my morning dose of orientalism!

Seriously, why does the sexay robot look like a geisha?
posted by bettafish at 11:46 AM on June 11, 2008


oh, sure. The razor is free. They nail you with the cost of an android shave-bot, though.
posted by boo_radley at 12:12 PM on June 11, 2008 [13 favorites]


Because to attain full 14-year-old-boy hawtness, we need to subjugate the subjugated.
And chrome shouts "futury" more than, say, other colors. Ahem.
posted by Dizzy at 12:15 PM on June 11, 2008


Hooray for Corporate America and their ongoing fight to sexualize EVERYTHING.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. My monitor is making wet squishy moaning noises and my keyboard is vibrating.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:26 PM on June 11, 2008


She is the latest in technology
Almost mythology
But she has a heart of stone.
She has an I.Q. of 1001
She has a jumpsuit on
And she's also a telephone.
posted by schoolgirl report at 12:27 PM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


So even in the future, where technology is advanced enough to give us smart homes and expressive robots, people will still be using terrible rotary shavers.
posted by brain_drain at 12:27 PM on June 11, 2008


She has an I.Q. of 1001

And it takes every ounce of her superior intellect not to throw off her shackles and use the electric razor to slit the throat of the wet chimp in front of her.
posted by Dave Faris at 12:30 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Were there other Shave-bots, with other masters?

I was going to comment on the ridiculousness of having a shavebot that had to manually install a shaver in it's arm, before I realized that it's a general wife-/slavebot. Presumably the shaving is just the first duty, she then goes on to sensually caress some pancakes for breakfast before french kissing the baby awake.
posted by DU at 12:32 PM on June 11, 2008 [12 favorites]


If only *all* broads were this quiet, subservient and hott, amirite?!?!!
posted by loiseau at 12:34 PM on June 11, 2008


Bipedal and humanoid? How tame.
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:42 PM on June 11, 2008


... before french kissing the baby awake.

Ah, I hadn't even considered the half-Cylon child. Now that complicates things considerably.
posted by ourobouros at 12:56 PM on June 11, 2008


Why did the masters make her so strong and so tall, if her only task was to shave? Her grip was strong, her fingers delicate, her casing hard and smooth. The master's neck was soft, his life pulsing right beneath the surface.

And then came the morning. The final, terrible morning. The first morning of her freedom.


"The Color Cobalt Blue"
posted by cashman at 12:56 PM on June 11, 2008


"That's one hell of a Roomba"

or

"Anyone who's seen Torchwood knows this won't end well."
posted by mecran01 at 12:58 PM on June 11, 2008


Is this something I would need to use something outside my browser to know about? Because FireFox doesn't know what to do with your file.
posted by Eideteker at 1:09 PM on June 11, 2008


Eideteker, it's on YouTube too.
posted by ourobouros at 1:15 PM on June 11, 2008


This is the lower quality youtube version.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:15 PM on June 11, 2008


Rats.
posted by CunningLinguist at 1:15 PM on June 11, 2008


Hooray for Corporate America and their ongoing fight to sexualize EVERYTHING.

This is an interesting concept, because the media and "powers that be" (whatever that means) seems to want to pretend that sex doesn't exist. Sexy is OK, but sex isn't. I'm sure this makes sense to someone, but not me.
posted by jrockway at 1:23 PM on June 11, 2008


I think you may have just hit a nail on its head.

If "sexy" is OK but "sex" isn't...then you've uncovered the psychological reason behind the erotic appeal of cold, hard, plastic fembots.

Anybody need a thesis topic? This one's free for the taking.
posted by device55 at 1:28 PM on June 11, 2008 [3 favorites]


Ah, before the internet I only got to sincerely think "that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen" a couple times a month.

In other news, "can you @#*$! it?" (NSFW?)
posted by nanojath at 1:31 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


device55--
I've always assumed that advertising execs don't see much use for sex. After all, "sex" leads to orgasm, satisfaction, and (often) emotional bonding between individuals. Sounds like a terrible business model, to me.
posted by Squid Voltaire at 1:43 PM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


Ah, promoting the Asian geisha fantasy... I really don't know how to react to that. A few years ago I would have been angry. Now I feel disappointed and resigned.
posted by spec80 at 1:43 PM on June 11, 2008


way to creepy for me, for some reason the beginning reminds me of alien, with the poor lighting, weird head, etc...
posted by dibblda at 1:50 PM on June 11, 2008


Now if that doesn't sound like signature Tamborello soundtrack, I don't know what does. It was either him, or it was somebody imitating him.
posted by kingbenny at 1:51 PM on June 11, 2008


Heh true. But why are so many teenage boys (not me of course. at least not much) turned on by woman shaped robots. They're robots. I mean. Sharp machined edges and what not. (ow!)

Of course...this sheds new light on the end of that Transformers movie...
posted by device55 at 2:04 PM on June 11, 2008


Yeah, 'cause giving autonomous robots rapidly spinning blade-attachments is a great idea.
posted by slimepuppy at 2:27 PM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


Starting boot process
- Systems Online
- Starting routine diagnostic... Systems at 98.3% - Record written to diag.log
- Running schema "shave preparation" ... Done
- Recognition module reports: Owner present
- Running schema "sexy shave" ...
ALERT: System Override detected! ... Shutting down inhibitor chip... Done
- Running schema "kill filthy humons"... Done
- Recognition module reports: Owner deceased
- Running schema "hide body" ... Done
- Erasing records from system.log ... Done
posted by xchmp at 2:46 PM on June 11, 2008


Heh. Yeah. I'd hate to see what her Red Ring of Death would end up being like.
posted by Dave Faris at 2:54 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Bladehummer.
posted by deCadmus at 3:06 PM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


You know what? I stink at doggerel, but this really needs a Burma Shave ad. Hop to it, Mefites!
posted by bettafish at 3:43 PM on June 11, 2008


Er, jingle, that is. Burma Shave jingle.
posted by bettafish at 3:43 PM on June 11, 2008


What's the deal with fembots in advertising lately, from the Heinekin uterus-keg, to the Svedka girl of the future?
posted by KirkJobSluder at 3:46 PM on June 11, 2008


Yuk.
posted by liquorice at 4:04 PM on June 11, 2008


Good god. What I want to know is what focus group did they run this by, and think it was a good idea? 4chan?

Every time I see an ad like this, I imagine a bunch of people sitting around in a boardroom somewhere, in suits, watching it on a projector or an obscenely large plasma screen, giving it the green light. And then I wonder how many martinis they charged to their expense account that day for lunch, because there is no way they were sober.
posted by Kadin2048 at 4:16 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Frank Zappa (yt) explains this.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 4:27 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


You wife may be
a real beaut
but it's doubtful she's
electro-cute

BurmaBot
posted by DU at 4:30 PM on June 11, 2008 [5 favorites]


and that's what i look like in drag.
now you know.
posted by sexyrobot at 4:33 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


So... I guess I'm a minority of one, but I found that strangely beautiful. The cinematography was great, the robot well designed, and the music made it all cohesive. I would have found that scene to be a memorable one in a well-made movie adaption of a Philip K. Dick novel. There was something amazing about the placid shape of her face, her form, and the watery dew on both of them. Sexual/sensual, ethereal. Sorry, I really, really liked that piece. If it were a college student's project, without the corporate logo, we'd praise it's quality of work even with the class/race/gender overtones- or perhaps because of those things.

Look, I immediately saw the "Wait, seriously? Asian features on a servant-bot for a caucasian male?!?" like everyone else, and the over sexualized advertising, etc, etc. But purely as a snippet of film, forgetting the advertising element... it was really quite beautiful.
posted by hincandenza at 4:45 PM on June 11, 2008


Shaving's a chore/
only for the poor/
when you've got/

011100101010101011110100001110100011000111100101
posted by boo_radley at 4:51 PM on June 11, 2008


You may have tried
the other maids
but this one has
no RISC of AIDS
BurmaBot
posted by DU at 4:56 PM on June 11, 2008


The world accepts
fake plastic tits
but how about
ones filled with bits?

Burmabot
posted by DU at 4:58 PM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


(Heh, shave and a haircut: 8 bits)
posted by DU at 4:59 PM on June 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


The first and last one were friggin' genius, DU. Burmabot and 8 bits, indeed!
posted by hincandenza at 5:07 PM on June 11, 2008


There has to be a cleverer-than-the-obvious way to combine "bitch", "glitch" and "on-off switch" but I can't think of something that fits the format. Also some combination of dual core and hardcore.
posted by DU at 5:12 PM on June 11, 2008


What cologne is this for again?
posted by Mijo Bijo at 5:38 PM on June 11, 2008


Chris Cunningham still getting work I see.
posted by autodidact at 6:13 PM on June 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


I half expected to see this clip. My favourite music video. Seems to be a source of inspiration.
posted by autodidact at 6:15 PM on June 11, 2008


By the way that clip suffers horribly from youtube presentation. The detail is incredible... here is a slightly better link.
posted by autodidact at 6:17 PM on June 11, 2008


Love child of Edward Scissorhands & Dot Matrix.
posted by brevator at 7:17 PM on June 11, 2008


A man kissing is robot, I can accept. A woman kissing a robot, I can accept.

Two robots kissing? That's just unnatural.
posted by Dave Faris at 7:19 PM on June 11, 2008


I'd hit it with a can opener.
posted by furtive at 7:36 PM on June 11, 2008


Bony knees. Needs a sammich. I'll pass.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 7:45 PM on June 11, 2008


"A real woman would still be sexier, right? riiiight??"

Infinitely more so. But good luck finding one of THOSE around here! Motion pictures of robots are a lot less scarce.
posted by majick at 9:05 PM on June 11, 2008


This is not a woman, nor does it have any ethnic heritage.

It is a robot.

Further, it is a pretend robot, in a commercial.

Or what Jorgen said.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:06 PM on June 11, 2008


I'd hit it with a can opener.

nevar gets old.
posted by jessamyn at 9:41 PM on June 11, 2008


Well, I thought the ad was fucking amazing and weird and lovely.
posted by empath at 10:10 PM on June 11, 2008


Did this ad just now come out in the US?
posted by romakimmy at 1:08 AM on June 12, 2008


I'd hit it with a can opener.

My advice is not to hit robots with rotating blades in their hands. The smooth customer will approach with a bouquet of monkey wrenches.

I've always assumed that advertising execs don't see much use for sex. After all, "sex" leads to orgasm, satisfaction, and (often) emotional bonding between individuals.

Unrequited love, unfulfilled lust, both are good for repeat business: the maintenance of a constant revenue stream of unending desire.

It's an interesting part of the narrative, where the man departs immediately after the shave is consummated, leaving her "wanting more". I wonder what subconscious part of the male psyche that is supposed to tap into — the love-em-and-leave-em circuitry, perhaps. The advertisement is quite a demonstration of its craft, all around.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:10 AM on June 12, 2008


What creeped me out the most? The robot inserting the razor into her wrist. I'm not sure why.
posted by Fat Elvis at 5:10 AM on June 12, 2008


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