Nothing but to keep on trying

June 16, 2008 6:18 PM

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon were the first to wed in California -- again. Martin and Lyon are best known for founding the Daughters of Bilitis, the first lesbian rights organization in the U.S. Congratulations, Del and Phyllis!
posted by fiercecupcake (53 comments total)

A photo of their wedding cake.
posted by ericb at 6:27 PM on June 16, 2008

Thanks, ericb! I tried and tried to find a photo from today, but I wasn't getting anywhere. The cake just made me all teary-eyed again.
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:30 PM on June 16, 2008

I tried and tried to find a photo from today, but I wasn't getting anywhere.

Here's an AP photo taken after the betrothel ceremony concluded.
posted by ericb at 6:35 PM on June 16, 2008

The first L.A. couple to wed tonight (also at 5:01 p.m.) in Beverly Hills -- Robin Tyler and Diane Olson. They've been together for 15 years and tried to obtain a marriage license from the state on the last eight Valentine's Days. [video | 01:55].
posted by ericb at 6:41 PM on June 16, 2008

In related news:

CBS Poll | June 15, 2008: Changing Views On Gay Marriage -- Most Americans Say Same-Sex Couples Should Have Legal Recognition.

New York Times | June 15, 2008: Massachusetts Gay Couples Find Marriage Is a Mixed Bag.

New Scientist | June 16, 2008: Gay Brains Structured Like Those of the Opposite Sex.

posted by ericb at 6:54 PM on June 16, 2008

*betrothal*
posted by ericb at 6:55 PM on June 16, 2008

What a sweet story, and what brave women they are.

When I worked as an optometrist's assistant a few years back, we had two elderly women patients who always came together for their appointments. They had the same address and they were listed as each other's "companion" under "next of kin" on their charts. They wore matching cocktail rings on their wedding-ring fingers. It's not necessarily unusual for two elderly women to live together, but by the way the interacted, and by the stories they shared of their history together, it was obvious they were a couple. It must have been rough for them here in our repressed little area of Kansas. I'll bet they're reacting to the recent news in California with great pride and joy.
posted by amyms at 6:57 PM on June 16, 2008 [1 favorite]

Mazel tov!
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:03 PM on June 16, 2008

Huh. I've been following their story.

We studied the DoB in my very first women's studies class in college. Learning about them sent me scurrying to the university library to surreptitiously read all of the books in THAT section of the 5th floor stacks. I'd sneak them off the shelf and into a carrel. When I was done for the day, I'd make sure no one was around when I abandoned the gay books, lest any (strangers) ever see that it was me (small town closet case!) who was reading them.

I didn't realize that these two, the first to get married (again) in SF, were the same two women who founded the DoB.

That makes it somehow even more poignant and personal for me. It's also remarkable that you no longer have to join an underground, "subversive" organization to feel some sense of belonging. What an incredible arc Lyon and Martin have witnessed during their lifetime. It should give us all a bit of hope, I think.

Anyway, mazel tov, and congrats, and it's about damn time.
posted by mudpuppie at 7:05 PM on June 16, 2008

Is there a symbol or character, like the opposite of "." to express extreme joy and congratulations?

(! is factorial, but there should be some excellent similar symbol. ) Yay California and I hope this decision sticks.
posted by pointystick at 7:06 PM on June 16, 2008

Yay! I just heard through the grapevine that one of my coworkers is getting married. I am happy for him and he has long deserved the dignity that this will bring to his relationship. Mazel tov.
posted by caddis at 7:08 PM on June 16, 2008

*sniff*

I always cry at weddings. Just wonderful. Best wishes!
posted by Space Kitty at 7:10 PM on June 16, 2008

This is awesome! Congratulation to all the couples and go California! :-D
posted by Gular at 7:14 PM on June 16, 2008

Is there a symbol or character, like the opposite of "." to express extreme joy and congratulations?

Yes -- ♥.
posted by ericb at 7:14 PM on June 16, 2008

ericb, thanks. I had a brain freeze.

♥ indeed!
posted by pointystick at 7:15 PM on June 16, 2008

:) Best wishes to them and to all the other couples taking the plunge. It warms my heart.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 7:17 PM on June 16, 2008

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)
posted by R. Mutt at 7:27 PM on June 16, 2008

Mazel Tov!

(I was discussing this very over dinner with two friends who happen to be gay, and they were curious about investing in The Next Big [Gay] Thing-- a line of Marriage Handbooks and Dr. Phil- type ancillary affirmatory thingies targeted to this first wave of history-makers.
They went on and on about branding (post-Ellen Oprah models) and Gay Gifting Rituals and CeleGayshunWear boutiques in selected Nordstrom stores Gay Marriage Books for Dummies etc etc and I wish I wrote it all down because those two fellas are gonna make a trillion bucks. I made them dinner-- hope you cut me in for a piece of the action, Sam and Ken!...)
posted by Dizzy at 7:27 PM on June 16, 2008

♥
posted by Morrigan at 7:29 PM on June 16, 2008

♥♥
posted by R. Mutt at 7:31 PM on June 16, 2008

I just happened to catch a site with a live feed of the wedding this afternoon. It was so joyous to watch!! I really hope that it will "stick" this time and spread to the other states. Much love and happiness to all who will be married in the next few months!!
posted by pearlybob at 7:32 PM on June 16, 2008

♥♥
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 7:41 PM on June 16, 2008

ericb totally did not make me cry or anything. I'm just...really tired. And yawning a lot. Yes.

Mazel tov!
posted by kalimac at 7:52 PM on June 16, 2008

Yay!
posted by Falconetti at 8:06 PM on June 16, 2008

♥

Are people sending flowers? I sent some last time, because I firmly believe everyone needs flowers at a wedding, and I'd love to do it again.
posted by sugarfish at 8:07 PM on June 16, 2008

♥♥
posted by mogget at 8:10 PM on June 16, 2008

Awwwwww...
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:11 PM on June 16, 2008

Slideshow: California's 1^st. Same-Sex Marriage [Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin].

Video: 'Same-Sex Couples Get Married Across California.'
posted by ericb at 8:25 PM on June 16, 2008

Video: Live Coverage -- Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin Get Married.
posted by ericb at 8:27 PM on June 16, 2008

Video: Alameda County's 1^st. Gay Marriage.

Video: Sonoma County's 1^st. Gay Marriage.
posted by ericb at 8:32 PM on June 16, 2008

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____congrats and best___congrats and best
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congrats and best wishes! congrats and be__con
congrats and best wishes! congrats and bes_con
congrats and best wishes! congrats and best wi
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____congrats and best wishes! congrats and
______congrats and best wishes! congrats
_________congrats and best wishes! co
____________congrats and best wish
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posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:37 PM on June 16, 2008 [4 favorites]

They are not only a history-making couple for being the first gay partners to wed in California, but as the FPP points out, for so many other pioneering reasons, going back decades. I'm so happy for them -- it seems that after all of the turmoil that they must have gone through in their younger years, that they are able to live their later lives together in something approaching bliss. Congratulations and best wishes (and many thanks) to them.
posted by blucevalo at 9:04 PM on June 16, 2008

Yay!!!

Gingerbeer and I will be tying the knot (again!) on Thursday. We'll use the feather bouquet we used at our Canadian wedding, which was made for us by a friend of friends. SF City hall is a beautiful place get married - I highly recommend it!
posted by rtha at 9:08 PM on June 16, 2008

This is awesome. Hope they get to STAY married without the dipshit yokels overturning it at the polls.

I want to talk about that cake that ericb posted tho.

Here you have very simple, elegant, almost "modernist" cake.
It doesnt say anything clever, or pithy, or sentimental about how long they've waited just to have occasion to have the cake in the first place. It's not overly grand or symbolic.
It doesnt overtly say anything that you would expect it to say, yet somehow with that tastefully placed picture it says all of those things.

For once, the cake is not a lie
(sorry that was lame but I couldnt help it)


Today is an amazing day for alot of people out there.

Here's hoping its a sign of things to come and not a tragically-reversed false-start on the way to better things.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 9:41 PM on June 16, 2008

Hooray for California being a free country. We're going to have to fight pretty hard to keep it, which is sad. Putting measures on the ballot to hurt a minority of the population is horribly unfair. If gay marriage in California is outlawed again, then heterosexual divorce should go with it this time. Let's see people vote on a measure which will ban gay marriage, but thoroughly and punitively outlaw divorce as well. Divorce is what destroys marriages.

The worst fear for the theocrats is that homosexuals might turn out to be perfectly good parents, have low divorce rates, and generally make heterosexuals look bad at the practice. It could happen and, as demonstrated by our divorce rates, it wouldn't even be that difficult.
posted by mullingitover at 9:44 PM on June 16, 2008

Sulu's getting married tomorrow morning! "In another early ceremony, 72-year-old George Takei, who played Hikaru Sulu on "Star Trek," will wed his partner of 21 years, Brad Altman, on Tuesday morning [in Los Angeles]."

Live long and prosper, guys!
posted by Asparagirl at 10:16 PM on June 16, 2008 [2 favorites]

Commentary from Kate Kendall at NCLR.

As much as I would love flowers from supporters around the country, I'd love for our wedding on Thursday to stay legal past November even more. If that's important to you too, I encourage donations to NCLR to help us fend off the ballot initiative.

Not that flowers wouldn't be welcome, too!
posted by gingerbeer at 11:08 PM on June 16, 2008

*blub* Oh, sorry, I seem to have something in my eye. Congrats to the happy couple.

That said, it just makes me want to scream that these two had to wait so damn long to get married.
posted by lysistrata at 12:42 AM on June 17, 2008

Hooray for common sense. Now, there's just 49 states to go.
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:43 AM on June 17, 2008

48, chuckdarwin. Massachusetts already has marriage between partners of the same sex.
posted by paddbear at 3:32 AM on June 17, 2008

woohoo! i remember being a teenager and barely out to myself and reading about del and phyllis and the DoB.

how wonderful for them to have finally tied the knot legally!
posted by rmd1023 at 4:30 AM on June 17, 2008

New York Times | June 15, 2008: Massachusetts Gay Couples Find Marriage Is a Mixed Bag.

As opposed to straight couples, who universally find marriage an unalloyed blessing.

ericb totally did not make me cry or anything.
Me neither.
posted by Killick at 5:43 AM on June 17, 2008 [1 favorite]

Congrats to Del and Phyllis and to our own rtha and gingerbeer!
posted by languagehat at 6:02 AM on June 17, 2008

Such wonderful news - congratulations to all :)
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 6:49 AM on June 17, 2008

Sulu's getting married tomorrow morning!

To be accurate, the L.A. Times article says: "George Takei, 72, who played Hikaru Sulu on 'Star Trek,' will get a marriage license with his partner of 21 years..."

Takei and his partner Brad Altman talked to Julie Chen on The Early Show yesterday about their proposal and upcoming marriage, which they have planned for September in order to go through the "delicious anguish" of planning.
posted by ericb at 8:18 AM on June 17, 2008

I sit corrected. Thanks, ericb!
posted by Asparagirl at 9:30 AM on June 17, 2008

Interested Mefites can show their support for the California Supreme Court's decision in support of gay marriage electronically on Gov. Schwarzenegger's website:

To quickly do this go to Gov. Schwarzenegger's public opinion website, chose the "email" tab and then select "Supreme Court decision on Same Sex Marriage" from the pull-down menu.

On the next screen click PRO to register your support for the pro-gay-marriage ruling. In the comment section, write that you support the ruling (your entry will not be registered if the page is left blank, so you have to write something.--You can leave a longer comment if you want, but it's likely no one reads them).

Please take a moment to do this, because you can be sure that America's bigots are rabidly logging their opposition to this ruling by the score as you read this.

**NOTE: You DO NOT have to live in California to register your support for this important ruling.**
posted by applemeat at 12:19 PM on June 17, 2008

Done. Thanks, applemeat!
posted by languagehat at 12:36 PM on June 17, 2008

Congrats, rtha! That's brilliant!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 5:37 PM on June 17, 2008

Thanks, applemeat. I'm glad I read to the end of the thread.

Congratulations to rtha, gingerbeer, and other gay and lesbian couples marrying in California!
posted by Drop Daedalus at 7:17 AM on June 18, 2008

Jon Stewart -- The Gay After.
posted by ericb at 11:58 AM on June 18, 2008

Thanks, all!

We'll be married about 12 hours from now. Even though we've already done this three times, I have butterflies. In my stomach. (And I know I'm going to, ah, have something in my eye. Yeah.)
posted by rtha at 12:37 PM on June 18, 2008

Not 12 hours. 24 hours. I don't think City Hall is performing weddings at 12:30 in the morning.

(Told you I was nervous.)
posted by rtha at 2:29 PM on June 18, 2008