Coal.

July 25, 2008 3:51 PM

Coal.Cheap, Abundant, Clean.
posted by brownpau (44 comments total)

A single link post, but many laffs!
posted by birdhaus at 3:57 PM on July 25, 2008

...and sexy.
posted by coiled at 3:59 PM on July 25, 2008

Live by the coal, die by the coal.
posted by Brian B. at 4:02 PM on July 25, 2008

Heh.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 4:06 PM on July 25, 2008 [3 favorites]

Coal is a great album by Kathy Mattea, too.
posted by birdhaus at 4:08 PM on July 25, 2008

thankyousomuchforthislaff. I haven't been able to inhale yet.
posted by dabitch at 4:13 PM on July 25, 2008

coiled, I am so glad you found that. I've just spent the past twenty minutes looking for that stupid ad but kept using search terms like "Sixteen Tons" and getting all distracted.
posted by dilettante at 4:13 PM on July 25, 2008

Wow, that is spot on.
posted by Telf at 4:16 PM on July 25, 2008

"my friend has a pool."
posted by CitizenD at 4:17 PM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

Ha ha! I get it but where is the rest of your post?
posted by chillmost at 4:17 PM on July 25, 2008

My great grandmother actually heated her home with a potbellied coal stove. For those of you who have never been around coal in use, the stuff floats in the air and comes down in soot that covers pert near everything around it. And smears all over when you touch it.

That parody needed some SOOT, dangit!
posted by konolia at 4:21 PM on July 25, 2008

Hey coiled, isn't that a scene out of Zoolander?
posted by chillmost at 4:23 PM on July 25, 2008

Studies are showing that the nearer one lives to a coal plant, the greater the health problems. Especially for children, who tend to become more autistic the nearer the plant. Way too much mercury and radioactive material being released in the fly ash.

Coal is just a bad idea all around.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:33 PM on July 25, 2008

That paint video is awesome.

When we bought out 1910 Seattle house in Fremont, there was still a 8 x 8 coal bin in the basement with about four feet of coal in it. Now that I think about it, it may even have been mined locally.
posted by maxwelton at 4:35 PM on July 25, 2008

Almost perfect, but they ruined it a bit by veering ever so slightly into jokey ha-ha territory. Some of their other videos are great, too.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 4:40 PM on July 25, 2008

"Imagine if a 250 year supply of energy were right here at home..."

I've got a better one. Imagine going for a better solution than one that, even if we accept propaganda about cleanness and ignore carbon emissions, just leaves society fucked again after a short time. It's also pretty damn offensive to juxtapose a coalminer's lament with a bunch of models showing off how pretty their makeup, hair, lights, and photoshopping are.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 4:41 PM on July 25, 2008

Heh.

"Cheap. Abundant. Cheap."
posted by carsonb at 4:46 PM on July 25, 2008

... where I live.
posted by doift at 5:27 PM on July 25, 2008

I'm all for coal. Burn as much as we can.

The faster humanity kills itself, the more chances something else can evolve and actually do things right.
posted by eriko at 5:29 PM on July 25, 2008 [3 favorites]

48.6% of this thread is possible because of coal.
posted by paulsc at 5:44 PM on July 25, 2008 [5 favorites]

Seems funny now, but don't be surprised if we turn to liquid coal when the gas runs out. I'm not saying it would be a good thing; rather, that high enough oil prices could generate more than enough desperation. It's just not human nature to adequately prepare for problems like these before it's too late (or at least before things get really shitty for a while).
posted by Edgewise at 5:55 PM on July 25, 2008

"Electricity comes from the walls in my house."

This video was fantastic.

I also hope that one miner is able to avoid the black lung.
posted by clearly at 6:04 PM on July 25, 2008

the most important thing in the world is my family's money.

I don't vote.

That's very well done, and funny.
posted by davejay at 6:05 PM on July 25, 2008

The faster humanity kills itself, the more chances something else can evolve and actually do things right.

Cut to a cockroach looking at its wristwatch and tapping its foot impatiently.
posted by davejay at 6:07 PM on July 25, 2008 [1 favorite]

One of the great coal mining songs, in my favorite version: Dark as a Dungeon.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:15 PM on July 25, 2008

I didn't realize, until my father told me, that coal is very hard to light, but once ignited gives an extremely hot fire.
posted by Turtles all the way down at 6:21 PM on July 25, 2008

So is there any evidence of actual murder-suicides brought about by reading YouTube comments?
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:30 PM on July 25, 2008

"Paid for by the US Dept of Energy"
posted by stbalbach at 6:39 PM on July 25, 2008

The comrades tapped and tapped. Buried like moles beneath the crushing weight of the earth, and without a breath of fresh air in their burning lungs, they simply went on tapping. New men were starting into life, a black army of vengence slowly germinating in the furrows, growing for the harvest of the centuries to come; and soon this germination would tear the earth apart.

--Emile Zola, Germinal (1885)

posted by stbalbach at 6:46 PM on July 25, 2008

I was going to post a snarky reply about how spot on the ad was, but then I read paulsc's comment, and I had to hang my head in shame.
posted by Anderson_Localized at 8:51 PM on July 25, 2008

Madison Reprazent! ;)
posted by symbioid at 9:38 PM on July 25, 2008

Heh, thanks for this. I just killed an hour watching all their videos. The fatal doctor's visit one is especially funny.
posted by meringue at 11:51 PM on July 25, 2008

Coal is the new black.
posted by dhartung at 12:14 AM on July 26, 2008

Coal is the new black.

More like black lung amirite?

GE's Ecomagination advertisement for clean coal using models for miners

More like EcoSatisfaction amirite?
posted by dhartung at 12:25 AM on July 26, 2008

MetaFilter: The future is later.
posted by rokusan at 4:33 AM on July 26, 2008

Funny video! Is this where we post mining related stuff?

My grandfather was a coal miner in Kentucky. Started as a helper at 10 years old. Died when he was 93.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 7:22 AM on July 26, 2008

Is this where we post mining related stuff ?

Yup.

This fellow was a Kentucky miner. Helluva musician, too.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:26 AM on July 26, 2008

Orwell, Down The Mine. Great read.

Also: hi-larious video.
posted by everichon at 8:54 AM on July 26, 2008

This fellow was a Kentucky miner. Helluva musician, too.

Wow. He actually looks quite a bit like my grandfather! But my gramp didn't pay a mean banjo like that!
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 10:04 AM on July 26, 2008

Awesome.
posted by odinsdream at 10:05 AM on July 26, 2008

You know who else turned to coal to power their war machine after losing access to adequate amounts of oil?
posted by sonic meat machine at 10:17 AM on July 26, 2008

My grandfather was a coal miner in Kentucky.

So was mine. He died at 65, and had black lung. He lost half his right hand in the 30s, and was noted as being in poor health when he was drafted (in spite of the hand) in WWII. His father got his back hurt in a mine roof fall and couldn't work, so they just lived in abject poverty for a couple of generations.

Another great-grandfather on the other side was crushed from the chest down in the 40s. Yet another great-grandfather just lost his mind. Fun places, coal mines.
posted by dilettante at 7:40 PM on July 26, 2008

I especially like how, at the end when the O in COAL is a little rotating globe, large parts of what is currently inhabited land on the globe's surface has changed to desert from global warming. Nice touch.
posted by ikkyu2 at 10:26 PM on July 26, 2008

America needs it's own version of the Asian Brown Cloud. More coal sir!
posted by dawiz at 5:22 PM on July 27, 2008