?!??zone (NSFW)
September 23, 2008 1:36 PM   Subscribe

NSFW: [The new EA game Spore] + [Your naturally lecherous, lascivious, lewd, libidinous imagination] = Sporn!
posted by not_on_display (52 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Well, that's it. Everything is ruined forever.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 1:38 PM on September 23, 2008 [6 favorites]


Rule 34 strikes again.
posted by scrump at 1:39 PM on September 23, 2008


*sigh

Reminded me of my ex.
posted by nickyskye at 1:43 PM on September 23, 2008


Thread useless without a cheezy ‘70s bass riff.
(love song ain't makin it)

“But for every George Lucas and Peter Jackson, there's always a spoiler....”
- CNN said with astonishingly no hint of irony.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:44 PM on September 23, 2008


So I looked at that YouTube link, right. Creatures, creatures... and unfortunate Andrej Šporn. :(
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:45 PM on September 23, 2008


I haven't come across (*rimshot*) any penis monsters yet, but I did find a planet of, IIRC, flying breasticles.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:48 PM on September 23, 2008


soundofsuburbia: ... and unfortunate Andrej Šporn.

Michael Sporn Animation, however, should be branching into new territory, though.
posted by not_on_display at 1:49 PM on September 23, 2008


I'm surprised I'm just hearing of this. I expected 0 day sporn.
posted by MikeMc at 1:55 PM on September 23, 2008


This is what? The fifth or sixth horseman of the Apocalypse? I've lost count.
posted by JaredSeth at 1:56 PM on September 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


User created content = cocks. Social science may have its first bona fide law.
posted by shadow vector at 1:57 PM on September 23, 2008 [29 favorites]


Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is sporn
You're a little late, Im already sporn

posted by Elmore at 1:58 PM on September 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


There's no way this is the first time Sporn has been mentioned on MeFi.
posted by adamms222 at 1:59 PM on September 23, 2008 [4 favorites]


I wonder what a Rorschach inkblot would look like to a race of giant alien vaginas. Something completely mundane and innocuous, I suppose.
posted by XMLicious at 2:00 PM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


I have yet to build a pornographic creature. But I have built a city hall that looks just like a bong. So there's that.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:00 PM on September 23, 2008 [4 favorites]


I'm surprised I'm just hearing of this. I expected 0 day sporn.

Day 0 of the Creature Creator (which was released a few months ago) was the birth of Sporn. The first couple days was probably the peak of YouTube penis monsters (well, that statement probably requires more and very disturbing research).
posted by wildcrdj at 2:02 PM on September 23, 2008


We built this city on rocks and rolling papers.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:03 PM on September 23, 2008


If only Will Wright had come up with an actual fun *game* for his toy model editors to play in, perhaps this wouldn't be the most amusing thing about the whole Spore franchise.
posted by Freaky at 2:05 PM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


What? Spore is a whole new kind of game! It says so right on the tin...
posted by Mister_A at 2:12 PM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think its amusing that a game based on intelligent design creationism is advertised as "evolution." Must be a big seller in Kansas.
posted by damn dirty ape at 2:12 PM on September 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


Isn't why they invented Second Life?
posted by loquacious at 2:13 PM on September 23, 2008


But I have built a city hall that looks just like a bong.

This made me go look for Sim City porn - like any red-blooded male would amirite fellas - but I can't find any. Sure, there's a YouTube video but it's only like one second long and not very pornographic, contrary to what it says in it's title. So maybe the internet (and Will Wight) have failed me? I mean, you all built at least one city shaped kinda-sorta like a penis, right? Somebody somewhere must have a screenshot!
posted by soundofsuburbia at 2:13 PM on September 23, 2008


Trying looking for Tipsburg, Penisylvania .
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:17 PM on September 23, 2008


Will Wright Impressed by Spore Porn. "Some of it's really good for what they were shooting for. It's amazingly explicit, especially when those creations are animated."
posted by Dave Faris at 2:21 PM on September 23, 2008


I procedurally generated your mother, IYKWIM.
posted by cortex at 2:30 PM on September 23, 2008 [2 favorites]


Did you at least use the algorythm method?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:39 PM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


I think its amusing that a game based on intelligent design creationism is advertised as "evolution."

That drives me nuts. There's nothing at all like evolution happening in Spore. Every time I go into the creature creature, I can completely redesign my creature from the ground up.
posted by graventy at 2:40 PM on September 23, 2008 [1 favorite]


I may be guilty of creating one of these creatures, but I am not admiting to anything
posted by Jenny is Crafty at 2:41 PM on September 23, 2008


grrr.... admiting admitting
posted by Jenny is Crafty at 2:42 PM on September 23, 2008


but I can't find any

ur not doin it rite

Seriously, there are thousands of dancing penises, copulating couples, basically anything you can imagine.

Did you look at any of the links in this post? There's plenty of examples everywhere. There's even a goatse in the 2nd link.
posted by Ynoxas at 2:46 PM on September 23, 2008


"Some of it's really good for what they were shooting for."

I'm guessing they were shooting for the face.
posted by MikeMc at 2:56 PM on September 23, 2008


I smoked city hall!
posted by doctorschlock at 2:56 PM on September 23, 2008


When you receive a notice that an enemy tribe is coming to steal your food and you zoom in to see a horde of bounding penii cresting the nearby hill, spears clutched in their furrowed nutbrushes and acid ejaculating from their heads you start to laugh.

And when the evil wanker tribe decimates your peaceful village of simple huts and creatures that look like giant boobs, you learn the lesson of history: Dicks from the hills will always come down hard on the tits' valleys.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:00 PM on September 23, 2008 [11 favorites]


I'm surprised I'm just hearing of this. I expected 0 day sporn.
posted by MikeMc

It ain't. This stuff was coming out day 0 of the release of the Creature Creator trial edition. And I know for a fact that it didn't take the game to be released for Spornography to be made. Let's just say that Spore went through a lengthy QA process with lots of, uh, creative testers working on it.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:02 PM on September 23, 2008


Yey Rule 34
posted by jeffburdges at 3:02 PM on September 23, 2008


Don't forget that Spore has incredibly obnoxious DRM. I mean, your just renting the game for three installs, after that you're copy is toast.
posted by jeffburdges at 3:04 PM on September 23, 2008


I'm surprised I'm just hearing of this. I expected 0 day sporn.

NSFW: A Beginners Guide To Sporn.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:39 PM on June 18 [+] [!]

How could you make this FPP and not mention "Sporn!"
posted by cjorgensen at 2:50 PM on September 8 [4 favorites +] [!]
posted by designbot at 3:04 PM on September 23, 2008


"Don't forget that Spore has incredibly obnoxious DRM. I mean, your just renting the game for three installs, after that you're copy is toast."

Nah there's already a crack that solves that
posted by Hands of Manos at 3:12 PM on September 23, 2008


I'm as anti-DRM as the next guy, but when Ars Technica put the Spore DRM to the test they found it not nearly as bad as many gamers have made it out to be. In their closing:
While the issue of the install limit is a touchy one, it doesn't look like a normal install will do much to use up your limit, and in fact we surpassed the install limit by a few times before running into an issue. Even after being told that we were "renting" the game, EA was happy to give us a new key to run the game. In this case, customer service wins, and we left wondering if the DRM controversy might be more philosophical in nature than rooted in any real-world inconveniences.
posted by BeerFilter at 3:25 PM on September 23, 2008


I heart Spore. It is a really cute, well done game. I just got to the highest level in the space age today, Great Omnipotent Being, that can go around and blow up planets, killing everything on them. It is very cartoonish.

Oh, & I made plenty of creatures with penis', my screen-name is Whitepage if you want to find them. Ta-Ta.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 3:31 PM on September 23, 2008


A spoiler and a ta-ta. Thanks.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 4:20 PM on September 23, 2008


Meanwhile The Sporn Company "Offers leashes, halters, harnesses, and collars, including some in silk." and sells something called the Tuf-Sock.

As for the links, I enjoyed FORLORN, YET DISTURBING, ATTEMPTS TO MAKE HOT WOMEN
posted by jessamyn at 5:32 PM on September 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


...so at the end of Spore you have god-like dominion over planets?

OMG MORMON AGENDA
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:37 PM on September 23, 2008


This is why we can't have nice things.
posted by Bahro at 7:05 PM on September 23, 2008


For anyone upset or weirded out...here are some Bambi Cupcakes! (If stealing from BoingBoing is OK, then paraphrasing has to be....)
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 8:11 PM on September 23, 2008


Don't forget that Spore has incredibly obnoxious DRM. I mean, your just renting the game for three installs, after that you're copy is toast.

Does it give you a Mission Impossible style warning before it self destructs?

Snark aside: when Civ 4 came out I couldn't wait for it on disc so I initially bought it via Direct Download or whatever the hell their digital vendor is called. I installed it on my desktop and a laptop. When I wanted to reinstall it on my (wife's) better laptop, I ran into the install limitations of the digital media. One email and less than two hours later, Firaxis had unlocked my activation code and I was able to reinstall. A minor inconvenience at worst.
posted by JaredSeth at 8:18 PM on September 23, 2008


sporn again.
posted by ericbop at 8:23 PM on September 23, 2008


Hell hath no Furry like a woman Sporn.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:25 PM on September 23, 2008 [3 favorites]


Sporn to be Wild.
posted by not_on_display at 9:33 PM on September 23, 2008


One email and less than two hours later, Firaxis had unlocked my activation code and I was able to reinstall. A minor inconvenience at worst.

Yes, around the time of its release, when the company had nearly all its resources dedicated to promoting and supporting the game. When they move on to the next money-maker, two years later or whenever, that won't work so well.

I guess it's kind of forced obsolescence, in a way.
posted by breath at 11:39 PM on September 23, 2008


I appreciated the goatse creature.
posted by beerbajay at 1:09 AM on September 24, 2008


jessamyn: As for the links, I enjoyed FORLORN, YET DISTURBING, ATTEMPTS TO MAKE HOT WOMEN

[stage whisper] I thought I told you that you weren't to post my forlorn love letters on the internets!!
posted by not_on_display at 6:01 AM on September 24, 2008


I enjoyed FORLORN, YET DISTURBING, ATTEMPTS TO MAKE HOT WOMEN

That Sporn creature clearly hasn't been reading the recent Metafilter threads about the importance of frequent tonsorial attention.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:15 AM on September 24, 2008


« Older Damon Albarn’s career reads like a roadmap to some...  |  Baghdad nights: evaluating the... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments