Man uses craigslist to form bank robbery plot

October 3, 2008 3:50 PM

Escapes in inner tube in "the slowest getaway ever" .

According to The Seattle Times, the man "may have recruited a host of unwitting decoys through a Craigslist ad." Even better, he got away using a inner tube.

I guess the scuba escape just had to be outdone.

posted by fiercekitten (31 comments total)

I suspect he was thrashing about in the water trying to make the best speed possible, and that's a waste of a perfectly good inner tube.

I'd like to picture him holding a bag of cash in one hand and a mai tai in the other, drifting peacefully away. Although that might actually be more disturbing -- that he could go so quickly from violent armed robbery to apparent tranquility.

He does get bonus points for the craigslist henchmen. I had no idea it was so easy to get yourself some goons. Supervillainy awaits!
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:34 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

Wow, it happened in broad daylight, too.
posted by dhartung at 4:35 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

I would have made additional ads for bikers, cops, indians and sailors.
posted by stavrogin at 4:37 PM on October 3, 2008 [9 favorites]

As the mefi people gathered inside the post within the proper attire, however...
posted by Dumsnill at 4:38 PM on October 3, 2008

I also would have robbed a YMCA, instead.
posted by stavrogin at 4:38 PM on October 3, 2008 [2 favorites]

I'm sure you would have found many ways to have a good time.
posted by GuyZero at 4:42 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

(TV and radio have been reporting that the cops are downplaying the innertube thing now, but the gaggle of orange-vested craigslisters - bankrobbery by flashmob - appears accurate)
posted by mwhybark at 4:55 PM on October 3, 2008

2008 'Luthor Award' nominee.

I always thought that the first criminal use of a flashmob was going to be gathering a larger crowd of victims for a terrorist bombing.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:00 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

My god. Please tell me this is some kind of viral? How can this possibly be real and so ingeniously simple? Here I am spending the last twenty five years building and army of atomic monkey robots and here this guy uses inflatable rubber.
posted by tkchrist at 5:05 PM on October 3, 2008 [2 favorites]

My fellow honorable Represenatives, THIS is why the Internet must be shut off.

BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM AL GORE
THE INTERNET WILL BE SHUTTING DOWN IN 30 SECONDS....
posted by DU at 5:05 PM on October 3, 2008

A man charges into a bank wearing a ski mask and wielding a handgun. He shouts, "This is a robbery - everyone get on the floor!" and proceeds to empty the cash drawers. As he runs toward the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off his mask.

The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts, "Did anybody else here see my face?"

"Did anybody else see my face?" he shouts again, waving his gun around.

There is silence for a few seconds before an elderly male voice is heard from a distant corner... "I think my missus in the red dress caught a glimpse..."
posted by netbros at 5:13 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

That story is beautiful.

That said, I hope he brought along some cans of cola for the sharks.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 5:19 PM on October 3, 2008

According to witnesses, the man grabbed the money and ran about 100 yards to Woods Creek, Willis said. Police believe the man jumped into an inner tube and floated westbound in the direction of the nearby Skykomish River. One witness claims to have seen the man pull out of the river a few miles downstream and climb into a small loader driven by an accomplice disguised as a scarecrow. The robber was alleged to have greeted his accomplice with the phrase, "Can we spend it?" To which the scarecrow responded, "Yes we can!"

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:26 PM on October 3, 2008

And then he punched a shark.
posted by dirigibleman at 5:37 PM on October 3, 2008

This post is missing the 'hero' and 'awesome' tags. Also, mad props to the northwest for breeding such creative people. This is the best heist since D. B. Cooper.
posted by mullingitover at 5:39 PM on October 3, 2008

In reality, the guy in the inner tube was actually a decoy. The real thief was....THE SECURITY GUARD!

*fade to credits*
posted by DU at 5:44 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

Done and done!
posted by fiercekitten at 5:46 PM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

Don't let's forget about Scott Scurlock, y'all (or his sad end). Time was, he was my pal Anne's neighbor, down Olywa way. She claims to have sung "Jesse James" with him, but late nights and banjos can do that to body down in the pines.
posted by mwhybark at 6:24 PM on October 3, 2008

Am I bad person if I hope he gets ay with it?
posted by cjorgensen at 6:55 PM on October 3, 2008

I was thinking of posting this but wasn't sure there was enough reportage to warrant it ... I'm glad it got posted anyway.
posted by camcgee at 7:02 PM on October 3, 2008

Am I bad person if I hope he gets ay with it?

It's just a small personal bailout, really.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 7:27 PM on October 3, 2008 [8 favorites]

I knew I had to post it when I read it on Ars. It was just too strange, especially when the Times referenced the scuba guy.
posted by fiercekitten at 7:30 PM on October 3, 2008

Well which is it young fella? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, iffen I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And iffen I drop, I'm a gonna be in motion.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:03 PM on October 3, 2008

Why so serious?
posted by Servo5678 at 8:10 PM on October 3, 2008

From everything I've heard Banks get robbed a bit more often than I had initially realized. A friend of mine, who was a bank teller, was robbed three times in the span of about a year and a half.
She has spent quite a bit of time dealing with PTSD since.
posted by P.o.B. at 8:41 PM on October 3, 2008

Yeah, I have to say that I have a hard time not wishing that the guy gets away with it. What an awesome heist.
posted by Kattullus at 9:41 PM on October 3, 2008

P.o.B said: From everything I've heard Banks get robbed a bit more often than I had initially realized.

I know, I didn't realize that either until last week when a local grocery store bank branch (I dunno if that's a Southern USian thing, but down here, our supermarkets will often have a bank branch of one of the national bank chains like Wells or BofA), got robbed. It barely made the Dallas paper. I wouldn't have known about it at all if I hadn't had a google widget for news near my zip code. Then I went and looked up how often it happens, and I was pretty surprised.

As to this guy? Flash mob of unwitting minions...check. Nobody got seriously hurt...check. Escaped by tubing down a river...the national sport of my university....check.

Bob, we have a winnah!
posted by dejah420 at 10:05 PM on October 3, 2008

Nobody got seriously hurt...check.

Nobody got *permanently* hurt, you mean. Pepper spray is nothing if not serious.

Looks like the Craigslist stunt was more stupid than cute, really, given the email trail. It'll be interesting to see how the thief tried to cover his computer tracks, and if it works, but the AP story has an FBI agent saying the tactic doesn't seem to have confused anyone:

A similar ploy was used in the 1999 movie "The Thomas Crown Affair," in which an art thief wearing a trench coat and bowler hat makes off with a priceless masterpiece as museum security guards are distracted by several lookalikes the crook hired.

Burroughs said the tactic failed to cause similar confusion at the scene Tuesday. "Was it really necessary? Did it help the guy out? I don't think so," she said.

And the whole thing was watched by a councilman from a building across the street, who not only wasn't distracted by the decoys but actually ran after him:

Seeing him run toward his office, Ruth -- who was on the phone with 911 by then -- gave chase, watching the man toss off his hat, revealing short dark hair underneath. He lost him as the man entered the woods leading to the creek.

"Tasseled loafers, I guess, aren't the best in dirt and wet grass, anyways," Ruth said of his own footwear.
posted by mediareport at 5:24 AM on October 4, 2008

It turns out that the bag he grabbed actually contained mortgage-backed securities.
posted by cmyr at 7:34 AM on October 4, 2008 [2 favorites]

Gotti reigned for six years as the head of New York's Gambino crime family, promoting himself to the position according to normal mafia guidelines by assassinating his predecessor, Paul "Big Paulie" Castellano. It was a testament to his passion for the Hollywood myth of organised crime in America that he arranged for the killing to be carried out by a gang of hitmen in matching trenchcoats who surprised Castellano as he left a Manhattan steakhouse.

It's not just that he would hide in the group, but rather it shows a savvy understanding of human perception, where seeing an unusual group with a single attribute will obstruct the retention of differentiating details. Imagine the fun a defense attorney could have with the "what did he look like?," then calling each of the dummies and asking what they were wearing.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:48 AM on October 4, 2008

Did the whole genius plan hit him all at once? Or did it build, i.e. "I need to rob a bank. How can I disguise myself? Hmmm. I know! Camouflage! What group of people would most likely to come to a specific time and place thru a craigslist ad? English teachers? Donkey handlers? I know! Construction workers! Now all I need is an escape vehicle. Hmmm. Sigh. Errrrr. Ooooo! I know! An INNER TUBE! Silent, leaves no scent, comfortable, stylish, and unexpected. Brilliant!"
posted by astroworm at 5:34 PM on October 4, 2008