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If this story is made into a movie, Zack Snyder will not be directing
October 31, 2008 9:45 AM   Subscribe

What a way to go
posted by ericbop (95 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
gah! story
posted by ericbop at 9:46 AM on October 31, 2008


Donny was in his element.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:50 AM on October 31, 2008 [13 favorites]


Going out on top, I'd say.
posted by grubi at 9:51 AM on October 31, 2008


I mean. If you're gonna die. Die after you've hit a high note. That must have been some death
rattle.
posted by doctorschlock at 9:51 AM on October 31, 2008


Yea but he died with his rented shoes on.
posted by Gungho at 9:54 AM on October 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


X
posted by hellbient at 9:54 AM on October 31, 2008 [28 favorites]


I look forward to all the Big Lebowski quotes about to be unleashed in this thread.
posted by spock at 9:57 AM on October 31, 2008


I think that is the coolest way to go. Just after doing the one thing you wanted to do your whole life, that is a luxury!

Way To Go DON!

I shall play Wii bowling tonight in your Honor!
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 9:57 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Wow. Now I have this feeling that I somehow cheated death when I threw mine...
posted by evilangela at 9:58 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


At least he didn't die in the gutter...

/Over the line, Smokey?
posted by educatedslacker at 9:58 AM on October 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:58 AM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


If only I could die while writing a great joke on metafil...
posted by Dumsnill at 9:58 AM on October 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


"Don will be a legend," says Nutt. 'It's something that will never be forgotten as long as people bowl here."

What's this written on the bottom of the peanut bowls? Who the hell is "Don"?
posted by DU at 9:59 AM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


We've got a man down, Dude.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:00 AM on October 31, 2008


This outta learn him not to fuck with the Jesus.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:00 AM on October 31, 2008


I bet that this is one of those things he said a million times but never really expected it to happen

"If I could just roll a perfect game I can die happy"

Right now Don is in 10 pin heaven where the beer flows like waterfalls and the shoes smell of roses.
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 10:04 AM on October 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


Goodnight, sweet prince.
posted by porn in the woods at 10:09 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


"He looked fine, reached across the table and gave me a high-five and he fell over," says Place.

I'm not letting that Place guy touch me, ever.
posted by sidereal at 10:09 AM on October 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I thought is was meant to be three strikes and out.
posted by popcassady at 10:09 AM on October 31, 2008


Excitement can be lethal for old folks. Which is why, if you care about McCain, you shouldn't vote for him.
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:10 AM on October 31, 2008 [9 favorites]


I love The Big Lebowski as much as the next dude, but endless quoting is turning it into the next "I'm a lumberjack!" or "More cowbell!" Give it another decade, and it'll be "knights who say Ni!"-grade pussy repellent.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:11 AM on October 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


...and it'll be "knights who say Ni!"-grade pussy repellent.

But you know what really turns the laydeez on? Sexism.
posted by DU at 10:12 AM on October 31, 2008 [16 favorites]


So many stories google up with "collapses and dies after" or "collapsed and died after" -- they don't just die; there's the cause-and-effect (or irony) implication of the "after" and the unexpectedness implied by the "collapse". One minute they were standing there drinking beer or yelling at kids on their lawns or playing a computer game or catching their breath after performing impressively in an athletic event, and the next minute they have collapsed like Lana Turner and died like something that died or something.
posted by pracowity at 10:13 AM on October 31, 2008


I'd always hoped to die post-coital, but I guess this is okay too.
posted by LordSludge at 10:14 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm reminded of Mark Sandman. That's the way to go—doing something you love.
posted by vibrotronica at 10:14 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


The Card Cheat:

You forgot to capitalize Dude.
posted by owtytrof at 10:14 AM on October 31, 2008


> You forgot to capitalize Dude.

That's because I'm a dude, not The Dude.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:17 AM on October 31, 2008


popcassady: To bowl a perfect game, you do indeed throw three strikes in the last frame.
posted by irontech at 10:17 AM on October 31, 2008


I'd always hoped to die post-coital

No, he died after bowling.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 10:18 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Fuck it Dude, let's go bowling.
posted by Sargas at 10:21 AM on October 31, 2008


Thanatos hooks it.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:21 AM on October 31, 2008


I think Don will be finding himself on an ironic t-shirt near you, soon.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 10:21 AM on October 31, 2008


I think congress should pass a law requiring warming labels on bowling balls. We have to warn the elderly and the weak-hearted about this dangerous sport.
posted by bondcliff at 10:28 AM on October 31, 2008


What a perfect way to go. I'm envious.
posted by dbiedny at 10:29 AM on October 31, 2008


It's like RAAAIN on your wedding day.
posted by psmealey at 10:36 AM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Why am I seeing a Whataburger ad on a Michigan news site? There are no whataburgers north of Oklahoma!!!
posted by mattbucher at 10:37 AM on October 31, 2008


Ravenna Bowl is planning a memorial ceremony for Doan's' wife Linda and son Chad.

Who also, strangely enough, died bowling.
posted by gordie at 10:41 AM on October 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


...and it'll be "knights who say Ni!"-grade pussy repellent.

Pardon my butting in but I am a lady, "pussy" if you will and as far as the guys I have ever slept with lots of them have quoted Monty Python and The Big Libowski many times and it has never repelled me.

In fact I love it. I also look at magazine foldout blueprints of Star Trek ships like it's porn so I'm not sure what kind of "pussy" you hang out with but you should re evaluate that and soon.


NO!... tine to Loose!
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 10:42 AM on October 31, 2008 [4 favorites]


I think congress should pass a law requiring warming labels

Like with little pictures of kittens & balls of yarn? These should be on everything, by law.
posted by echo target at 10:43 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


What a way to go!
posted by rhymer at 10:44 AM on October 31, 2008


...it has never repelled me.
Well, you know, some dogs actually like pepper spray, too. Still...
posted by Wolfdog at 10:44 AM on October 31, 2008


no TIME! to loose.
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 10:48 AM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


At least his poor wife will know he really was bowling.
posted by netbros at 10:48 AM on October 31, 2008


I love The Big Lebowski as much as the next dude, but endless quoting is turning it into the next "I'm a lumberjack!" or "More cowbell!" Give it another decade, and it'll be "knights who say Ni!"-grade pussy repellent.

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
posted by panboi at 10:50 AM on October 31, 2008 [18 favorites]


What a way to go!

Wait. What?
posted by mazola at 10:53 AM on October 31, 2008


Having sent an email to a local alley to ask about joining a league all of 5 minutes before reading this...
I don't like to roll with the magic 8-ball, but "Outlook not so good".
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:54 AM on October 31, 2008


.
posted by Vindaloo at 10:55 AM on October 31, 2008


Stiff alley.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:01 AM on October 31, 2008


He's going to meet The Jesus.
posted by qvantamon at 11:08 AM on October 31, 2008


That's the way I want to go. Having just compeleted my lifelong dream.

Which is to never die. Whoo. Complicated.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:08 AM on October 31, 2008 [5 favorites]


"Don will be a legend," says Nutt. 'It's something that will never be forgotten as long as people bowl here."
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 11:08 AM on October 31, 2008


Well, you know, some dogs actually like pepper spray, too. Still...

Ouch... *licks wound*
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 11:10 AM on October 31, 2008


Sorry about the fact that you map to "dog" in that analogy but - look who it's coming from - really and truly no insult should be inferred from that.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:16 AM on October 31, 2008


May I just interject here that any appellation that refers to a woman by her genitalia is offensive? It's completely objectifying, it reduces women to their component parts rather than acknowledging the rest of the package that surrounds and drives the genitalia, and also, "pussy" is a cringe-inducing word to almost every female I've ever known.

Just, yuck.
posted by dejah420 at 11:21 AM on October 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


I also look at magazine foldout blueprints of Star Trek ships like it's porn...

Dong repellant.

Speaking of which, is this why Mr Resin only appears in AskMe these days?
posted by i_cola at 11:22 AM on October 31, 2008


Jim Nutt?
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:22 AM on October 31, 2008


Perhaps it was a crude references to cats? Did you know cats abhor Monty Python? Mostly because they think of giant snakes in people costumes, which worries them greatly. That, and the use of dead cats in a number of skits is pretty offensive to felines in general.

Now why cats would dislike The Big Lebowski, I do not know.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:29 AM on October 31, 2008


Having just compeleted my lifelong dream. Which is to never die.

Yeah, I'm planning to be killed by a meteorite.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:34 AM on October 31, 2008


no TIME! to loose.

It's "to lose," like Toulouse in France.
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:42 AM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Now why cats would dislike The Big Lebowski, I do not know

The available evidence suggests that cats, like all right-thinking people, enjoy The Big Lebowski.
posted by jedicus at 11:51 AM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I shall have a White Russian tonight in memory of Don.

Or maybe I'll have one right now...
posted by Hairy Lobster at 11:58 AM on October 31, 2008


dejah420: I agree completely. Though you didn't have to be a dick about it.

also: this thread is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:59 AM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


Huh, Don't know him, but I'm very likely closely related to this guy. I'll ask my parents if they know him.

A proud line of out-of-shape bowlers, we Doanes are
posted by jpdoane at 12:01 PM on October 31, 2008


The available evidence suggests that cats, like all right-thinking people, enjoy The Big Lebowski.

So am I the only one who found The Big Lebowski boring, unfunny, and incoherent? I've honestly watched this movie four times because a) I love the Coen Brothers and b) people whose tastes I respect have raved about this movie, so I kept trying to see if there was something I was missing. And nope, I think it's one of the Coen Brother's weaker productions. It really needed a tighter editing, for one, and a stronger story overall. Anyone?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:01 PM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


really and truly no insult should be inferred from that.

None taken.

:)
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 12:03 PM on October 31, 2008


Yeah, I'm planning to be killed by a meteorite.

I've always planned to be the only human onboard (along with my crew of faithful chimps) the rocket send up to intercept the asteroid hurtling towards Earth. At the age of 101.
posted by Bookhouse at 12:03 PM on October 31, 2008


Man, I really feel for that guy, it's too bad a doctor hadn't dropped in to see what condition his condition was in.
posted by hellojed at 12:05 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:06 PM on October 31, 2008


so am I the only one who found The Big Lebowski boring, unfunny, and incoherent?

Yes, you are the only one.
posted by Dumsnill at 12:07 PM on October 31, 2008


May I just interject here that any appellation that refers to a woman by her genitalia is offensive?

A gentleman always refers to female people through indirect references to their possession or nonpossession of smokable intoxicants.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:13 PM on October 31, 2008


I hope I die after setting a world record score on Space Harrier. I would die happy. (and if anyone beat my score, I would rise from the dead to reclaim my honor)
posted by Dr-Baa at 12:23 PM on October 31, 2008


I'd always hoped to die post-coital...

服上死
posted by aftermarketradio at 1:09 PM on October 31, 2008


服上死

Leave it to the Japanese to have a single word for "death during intercourse".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:17 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


"He looked fine, reached across the table and gave me a high-five and he fell over," says Place.

Having toiled many a moon to finally learn Dim Mak, the Chinese Death Touch, Ralph was loath to unlearn it.
posted by aftermarketradio at 1:18 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


Great way to go. However, I'm afraid to admit that I don't get the title of this post. Zack Snyder? The director of the Dawn of the Dead remake and the upcoming Watchmen adaptation? Is he anti-bowling? Or anti-heart attacks? Or are you saying his trademark speed-ramping would be inappropriate for the subject matter?
posted by brundlefly at 1:51 PM on October 31, 2008


pussy repellent


The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

They don't like hearing it. And, find it difficult to say. Whereas, without bating an eye, a man will refer to his "dick" or his "rod" or his "Johnson."
posted by asspetunia at 2:17 PM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


I would enjoy The Big Lebowski even more if, every time John Goodman spoke, his lines were dubbed in by a squeaky-voiced actor speaking Spanish.
posted by stinkycheese at 2:29 PM on October 31, 2008


I'd always hoped to die post-coital...

All you need is once, then everything is post-coital. I, for example, am browsing MetaFilter at work post-coitally (tempting a post-coital firing), and later will post-coitally enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner with my family, for most of whom it will be post-coital as well.

On reflection: yuck.
posted by lostburner at 2:37 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I love The Big Lebowski as much as the next dude, but endless quoting is turning it into the next "More cowbell!"...

Obviously, you're not a golfer.
posted by rokusan at 2:59 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I'm afraid to admit that I don't get the title of this post. Zack Snyder?

He directed the movie 300. Which is also the score of a perfect game in bowling.
posted by ericbop at 3:03 PM on October 31, 2008


I feel like an idiot now. D'oh!
posted by brundlefly at 3:14 PM on October 31, 2008


May I just interject here that any appellation that refers to a woman by her genitalia is offensive? It's completely objectifying, it reduces women to their component parts rather than acknowledging the rest of the package that surrounds and drives the genitalia, and also, "pussy" is a cringe-inducing word to almost every female I've ever known.

Man, stop being a fag.
posted by John of Michigan at 3:14 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


So, as it turns out, I emailed my Dad, and found out that I am in fact closely related to Don:

"Yes. He was my cousin - Mick and Betty's son, Linda's brother. I was blown away by the crowd at the funeral home. Visitation started at 2. When we got there at 2:10 the line was already out the door. It grew across the parking lot and across the street. We left about 4, and the line was still out the door. Many people loved him."

posted by jpdoane at 5:20 PM on October 31, 2008 [3 favorites]


"If only I could die while writing a great joke on metafil..."

NO ONE WOULD ACTUALLY TYPE ELLIPSES WHILE DYING!

Well, that's what it says there. "...on metafil..."

PERHAPS HE MEANT METAFILLIPSES?
posted by An Infinity Of Monkeys at 5:52 PM on October 31, 2008


So am I the only one who found The Big Lebowski boring, unfunny, and incoherent?

I only started to enjoy the movie on the second viewing, when I realized that it was intended to be a noir detective story, only with the keen-witted and cynical detective replaced by The Dude and his incompetent sidekicks. Pretty much every scene clicks into place, in that context. I think.

If *that* doesn't make sense to you, and you can't enjoy John Turturro as a latino pederast who licks his bowling ball while a Spanish version of "Hotel California" is playing, or John Goodman's emotionally sensitive Vietnam vet disparaging the Iraqi army as a bunch of towel-headed fig-eaters who can't find reverse on a Soviet tank, then my hopes for your appreciation of comedy are low indeed.
posted by A dead Quaker at 6:25 PM on October 31, 2008


If *that* doesn't make sense to you, and you can't enjoy John Turturro as a latino pederast who licks his bowling ball while a Spanish version of "Hotel California" is playing, or John Goodman's emotionally sensitive Vietnam vet disparaging the Iraqi army as a bunch of towel-headed fig-eaters who can't find reverse on a Soviet tank, then my hopes for your appreciation of comedy are low indeed.

Sure, there were funnyish moments, most of which are now done-to-death internet memes. But the movie on the whole felt like it was being written as it was being filmed. It rambled; it would head towards one direction, decide against it, start moving in another direction, then abandon that, and so on, until we end up with Sam Elliot talking to the camera (I loathe this device, so I'm biased there). It didn't have the tight delivery of Raising Arizona, the chilling noir of Barton Fink, the darkly comedic unraveling of Fargo, or the silly fun of O Brother Where Art Thou. It was all over the place. What was most frustrating for me was I could see the potential trying to eek its way through here and there. With more time in editing, and a tightening of the script, this could have been a great movie.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:50 PM on October 31, 2008


I liked The Big Lebowski more than O Brother, Where Art Thou? I can see how both are classic Coen, but I liked wacky humor better in Raising Arizona than O Brother, and it had better closure. As far as pacing, TBL was paced much as the Dude's life, without any hurry to make a point or wind up the story, but it makes a nice Buddhist parable.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:56 PM on October 31, 2008


Everyone told him to choose a different ball....
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 8:04 PM on October 31, 2008 [1 favorite]


I've honestly watched this movie four times

You're not here for the hunting, are you. j/k
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:03 PM on October 31, 2008 [2 favorites]


see? i TOLD you what would happen if you kept hanging out at dens of iniquity such as bowling alleys - you should have been in church selling amway to your neighbors ...
posted by pyramid termite at 10:03 PM on October 31, 2008


"pussy" is a cringe-inducing word to almost every female I've ever known.

My wife says it's her preferred word for female genitalia.

She's cool like dat.
posted by grubi at 11:33 PM on October 31, 2008


My wife says it's her preferred word for female genitalia.
posted by grubi


As it is for me and my friends. Pussy is a more encompassing term than vagina; if I am talking about mine, I am referring to all the bits in the area, not just the hole. (And if you are in a situation to actually see mine, you will hear a much coarser word being used in reference to it.)

If you are offended by the word itself, better not read any Shakespeare.
posted by figment of my conation at 2:41 AM on November 1, 2008


As it is for me and my friends. Pussy is a more encompassing term than vagina; if I am talking about mine, I am referring to all the bits in the area, not just the hole. (And if you are in a situation to actually see mine, you will hear a much coarser word being used in reference to it.)

In one sense, yes. But in the sense it was used above, it was pure objectification. Reducing women to the sum of their holes, i.e.: "get some pussy".

I don't think most people have a problem with the word itself, just that particular usage.
posted by psmealey at 6:17 AM on November 1, 2008


But in the sense it was used above, it was pure objectification. Reducing women to the sum of their holes, i.e.: "get some pussy".

Well, yeah. In that sense, it is. But as a word to describe those particular genitalia, I've met a few folks who don't care for the words and I find them odd.
posted by grubi at 9:51 AM on November 1, 2008


Even wikipedia agrees with Quaker above:

Miller's Crossing is based on the works of Dashiell Hammett, particularly The Glass Key and Red Harvest, Big Lebowski on Raymond Chandler and The Man Who Wasn't There on James M. Cain -- making up what is known as their Noir Trilogy.

And while I'm certainly a fan of their take on noir (Blood Simple is very underrated, in my mind), for me Lebowski ranks right up there with Raising Arizona most for its dialogue, and the delivery of that dialogue by some very good actors giving very good performances.

There are so many "memes" you're tired of from Lebowski precisely because those were all great lines in great scenes.

There Will Be Blood, for example, produced exactly one "internet meme" line, and for good reason: it's the best line (and strangest) line in the entire film, and the line was delivered in the most memorable way imaginable.*

But Lebowski... Lebowski has about 40 such lines.


* also, oddly enough, in a bowling alley. Hm.
posted by rokusan at 11:55 AM on November 1, 2008 [2 favorites]


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