Drawn Together

November 1, 2008 12:51 PM

The anime series The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya has some pretty devoted fans. OK, very devoted fans. One such fan has started a petition to allow people to legally marry anime characters. The object of his affection is Asahina Mikuru. His goal is 1,000,000 signatures, and is making slow progress. One blogger cites two legal snags: Japan doesn't allow polygamy, which means one human per anime character, and Japan gives tax breaks to married couples, so those with a strictly 3D arrangment might view the otaku as getting an unfair deal. Yet another blogger has cited a third, perhaps more obvious snag.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing (43 comments total)

Does he support same sex anime marriages? How about tentacle monsters? I would totally marry a tentacle monster.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 1:18 PM on November 1, 2008

wow. Neoteny fetish of big eyed baby face taken to a legal level.

Or maybe he should marry that girl of the viral video with big eyes, who says nothing? Can't find the dang video, you know what I mean?

On preview, ooh, I want a tentacle monster too.
posted by nickyskye at 1:19 PM on November 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

The fourth snag is that Asahina Mikuru doesn't really love him, she just wants them to be friends.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:20 PM on November 1, 2008 [3 favorites]

Can we marry youtube videos next? Because I'm totally marrying this one.
posted by heathkit at 1:29 PM on November 1, 2008

Otaku have petitioned the government for the right to marry 2D characters.

Fucking liberals.
posted by rokusan at 1:32 PM on November 1, 2008

This is what happens when nuclear bombs get dropped on your country.
posted by dunkadunc at 1:37 PM on November 1, 2008 [10 favorites]

If consent is no longer an issue, then I'd better choose fast before all the best people/places/things are snatched up.
posted by [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] at 1:50 PM on November 1, 2008

I really need to get around to seeing this anime sometime soon. Seriously, what the fuck is there about it that makes its fans look crazy even among their fellow anime fans?
posted by Caduceus at 1:52 PM on November 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

He thinks he'll be happy, but then she'll start working later and later, and suddenly he'll just be left with her pixels lingering in his memory.
posted by aliceinreality at 1:52 PM on November 1, 2008

What's next? Otaku trying to marry people?
posted by Citizen Premier at 1:56 PM on November 1, 2008 [3 favorites]

nickyskye: "Or maybe he should marry that girl of the viral video with big eyes, who says nothing? Can't find the dang video, you know what I mean?"

Magibon!
posted by geekyguy at 2:09 PM on November 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

I must have missed something cause I saw this anime all the way through, and its one of my favorites... but I still think all of the examples of "dedicated" fans are just plain insane, and this isn't helping their case.
posted by Chan at 2:27 PM on November 1, 2008

Alright, metafilter is going to make me figure out a way to assign "Same world, different planet," to F11. Of course then I'd were out my F11 key.
posted by cjorgensen at 2:41 PM on November 1, 2008

ANIME ANIME LAMA SABACHTHANI

The US version of this was perhaps the "wedding" of ur-furry Mitch Beiro to Minerva Mink. He married her at a furry con, so publicly that some WB artist actually drew an angry Minerva Mink issuing a heated denial. Why I can't find the pages and pictures where I originally read about this, I don't know, as they were easily the funniest goddamn things on the internet.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:59 PM on November 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

He can't marry her because she cannot assent.
posted by sandraregina at 3:10 PM on November 1, 2008

geekyguy, That's it, Magibon. Thank you. *phew. Don't you hate that when you can't think of something? She's talking now. Anybody know what she's saying?
posted by nickyskye at 3:14 PM on November 1, 2008

addendum
posted by Countess Elena at 3:17 PM on November 1, 2008

cjorgensen, dude, I really think you mean "same planet, different world." I know we're dealing with a colloquialism here, but in general usage, you have phrases like "he lives in his own little world," "she rocked my world," or "the music world." Phrases like this refer to the points of view of particular people or groups of people. The word planet, on the other hand, refers pretty strictly to enormous balls of matter orbiting stars in general usage. No one talks about "living in (or on) his own little planet." Or if they do, it's much less common.

So when you say "Same world, different planet" it seems (to me, at least) like you're talking about a person or people with similar points of view, but living on, well, different planets.
posted by Caduceus at 3:26 PM on November 1, 2008

By the way Marisa Stole the Precious Thing thank you for introducing me to IOSYS. I actually recorded streaming audio onto a cassette tape, because I couldn't figure out how to order a CD from their website. Surprisingly good stuff.
posted by Restless Day at 3:26 PM on November 1, 2008

Don't miss this Magibon update, courtesy of Momus.

(Also: Magibon's incredibly detailed Encyclopedia Dramatica entry. All ED warnings are applicable here.)
posted by Ian A.T. at 3:32 PM on November 1, 2008

Of course then I'd were out my F11 key.

Um... something something full moon something furry something rule 34?

ah I got nothing
posted by fleetmouse at 3:36 PM on November 1, 2008

no no no no no no no no no, no. NO! no no no. no toinfinityno, followed by a no bigger than the sky which is on the heels of another no that sucks all the earth's air into space which is THEN followed by a Jurassic-level reassignment of all sentient life into a Hefty bag No.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:49 PM on November 1, 2008

There is also the problem of Ashahina's age that would need to be addressed before the wedding could take place. Since she comes from the future would she be considered a minor under current law considering she hadn't been conceived at the time the wedding would take place? I some clear guidelines need to be set in place lest the Supreme Court finds itself beset with more lawsuits like the custody battle in Connor v. Reese, or the literary estate battle that was at the heart of the Wells v. Robbins fight, much less the total mess that was McFly v. McFly. After we tackle these issues we can get to work on whether underage robots can marry without their manufacturers consent.
Regardless of that, I think stories like this are great, they keep the world from being too boring and boredom is something we definitely need to avoid.
posted by mr.grum at 4:26 PM on November 1, 2008 [4 favorites]

geekyguy, That's it, Magibon. Thank you. *phew. Don't you hate that when you can't think of something? She's talking now. Anybody know what she's saying?

Something about meeting a bunch of famous people -- to be honest it was so vapid I couldn't be bothered to watch it all. (Here's a subtitled version someone made.)

She's definitely not a native Japanese speaker; her accent's pretty thick. I'd say American.
posted by armage at 4:39 PM on November 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

Haruhi Suzumiya is no Rei Toei.

Wedding denied!
posted by humannaire at 4:43 PM on November 1, 2008

Eh, Haruhi was pretty weak tea to me. Gentle joshing of otaku tropes. Welcome to the NHK had a little more teeth and a bit more mystery.
posted by rikschell at 5:33 PM on November 1, 2008

If we can't trust writers to kill Wesley Crusher fast enough, how could we trust them to give consent that could be considered legally binding? Any consent from any other group is irrelevant, of course. It wouldn't be canon.

Also, Mr. Grum has a point. My guess would be age would be calculated by the age of the copyright of the series. A quick Google says the federal age of consent in Japan is 13 (Ick), but that most municipalities raise it to the area of 18 years old. So, a show created in 1990 would be fair game in most places. However, if he finds some backwoods small town where they have no local law on the age of consent, he could marry a 2D character from 1995.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:35 PM on November 1, 2008

@Armage, I remember reading she lives in Pennsylvania, near where the Amish live. Her goal is to move to Japan when she grows up, and she's been teaching herself Japanese to achieve this goal. Of course, put this all under the shadow of IIRC.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:44 PM on November 1, 2008

Thanks armage, you rock.
posted by nickyskye at 6:19 PM on November 1, 2008

I actually recorded streaming audio onto a cassette tape, because I couldn't figure out how to order a CD from their website. Surprisingly good stuff.

Glad you think so. The IOSYS site is a little confusing to navigate. One way to order their music is to go to the Product link of their home site, and then navigate on that page using the sidebar. Apart from that, you can also find all of their albums on Amazon Japan (run individual album pages through Google Translate, like so.) Barring that, you can also download all of their albums for free from DoujinStyle (warning: veeeery slow server).
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 6:35 PM on November 1, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm marrying the Nazi Death Rape Machine from Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend. I call that shit right now.
posted by DecemberBoy at 9:32 PM on November 1, 2008

IF YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH, WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT?

Oh wait...
posted by champthom at 12:43 AM on November 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

you can also download all of their albums for free

w00t! I am in your debt Mr. Precious Thing
posted by Restless Day at 4:13 AM on November 2, 2008

[NOT HERMITOSIS-IST]: "If consent is no longer an issue, then I'd better choose fast before all the best people/places/things are snatched up."

Dibs on the hot catgirls from Dominion Tank Police^. Dibs, I say!

Oh, and I just love Japan. It's just so nice to feel relatively normal compared to some people...
posted by PontifexPrimus at 4:47 AM on November 2, 2008

Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?

No, me neither.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:07 AM on November 2, 2008

Uh.... what did I just watch? So, part of the entertainment is that Haruhi constantly sexually harasses Mikuru? Just checking. I don't know very much about anime...
posted by jokeefe at 10:47 AM on November 2, 2008

So, part of the entertainment is that Haruhi constantly sexually harasses Mikuru?

Yeah, the otaku love that. I personally like it for the premise: our skeptical narrator is told by a self-described alien, a self-described time traveler, and a self-described esper that Haruhi Suzumiya is, more or less, God - when she's entertained, everything's fine, but when she gets bored, she destroys the universe and creates a new one. So they strive to keep her entertained. Only, she isn't even slightly aware of this power of hers. It makes for some interesting plot twists, clever writing and some pretty deep monologues, for an anime at least. Don't let the gratuitous tit-grabbing fool you.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:11 AM on November 2, 2008

Marry a 2D character? Totally on it. I just have to find and kill Rodger Rabbit first.
posted by The Whelk at 7:56 PM on November 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

Welcome to the NHK had a little more teeth and a bit more mystery.

I won't argue that it had teeth, but where was the mystery in NHK? It's been a while, but from what I remember the plot was fairly straightforward.
posted by ymgve at 8:05 PM on November 2, 2008

_{Won't argue against, I mean.}
posted by ymgve at 8:07 PM on November 2, 2008

armage: is her accent really that thick? That's a bit of a bummer. I watched it thinking - "hey, that kind of sounds like me when I'm trying to cobble together sentences, maybe I have a shot at sounding slightly better than a deranged baboon" and then came over to the thread and had my dreams crushed. Metafilter does that a lot.

I personally didn't think too much of Haruhi, though I am addicted to Hare Hare Yukai. Genshiken was a lot more interesting to me as far as overview of otaku culture goes, but I've never heard of NHK. I shall have to check it out.
posted by Phire at 5:31 AM on November 3, 2008

mccarty.tim, Phire: yeah, I realized the same thing after checking out her Wikipedia entry. I also found this entry from Momus rather enlightening. Once she stepped out of her YouTube bubble she was "exposed" (for lack of a better term) as just another girl-next-door. The fact that she was (is?) an internet idol makes for an interesting contrast.

And as for her Japanese, it's not bad for someone who learned it without living in Japan (assuming she isn't reading it off the screen phonetically), but it reveals a lot that her popularity was based almost entirely on her keeping her mouth shut.
posted by armage at 6:08 AM on November 7, 2008

Well, spoiler alert I guess, but it takes a long while to really find out what Misaki is up to and why, whether her plan is going to succeed, what Hitomi is up to ... and of course, will they fall in love? It has a fair number of tangential episodes (the Mouse Road one felt a little like filler), enough to keep me guessing on where it was going. Haruhi probably kept you guessing more if you watched them in the Japanese broadcast order, rather than the more chronological DVD order. I kind of wished I'd watched the former way rather than the latter.
posted by rikschell at 6:09 PM on November 8, 2008