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the ultimate chaser
November 10, 2008 5:30 PM   Subscribe


 
I think that's against the law, isn't it?
posted by Class Goat at 5:32 PM on November 10, 2008


OOPS SECOND LINK IS NSFW!!!! SORRY! CAN MODS ADD THAT TO THE FPP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE???
posted by parmanparman at 5:33 PM on November 10, 2008


Might want to slap a NSFW on that via link, as there are breasts hanging out in the open.
posted by CKmtl at 5:34 PM on November 10, 2008


You forgot the wtf tag as well. Sloppy. But thanks for the porn!
posted by cjorgensen at 5:35 PM on November 10, 2008


Yes we can!
posted by swift at 5:40 PM on November 10, 2008


Nice, but does it come in a size larger than 30cm? I like my Koalataurs at least 6 feet tall.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:42 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


I'm at work, but I can only assume the second link contains Koalataur porn.
posted by qvantamon at 5:44 PM on November 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


I don't get it.

...?
posted by CrazyLemonade at 5:44 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


I now have a new type of nightmare.
posted by Xere at 5:45 PM on November 10, 2008


DO

NOT

WANT

!
posted by zerobyproxy at 5:47 PM on November 10, 2008


Ok, I'm an adult, and I do want. btw, forgot the boobies tag as well.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:47 PM on November 10, 2008


I don't get it. How does that website know exactly how I look and then sell a toy based on that exact image of how I look?
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:51 PM on November 10, 2008


I'm also 100% certain that the [via] blog will cause irreversible brain damage.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:51 PM on November 10, 2008


I want to ride the Koalataur.
posted by clearly at 5:53 PM on November 10, 2008


DO

WANT

!
posted by clearly at 5:53 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Thanks for the nightmares, parmanparman!
posted by brain cloud at 6:01 PM on November 10, 2008


If you go down to the woods today
You're in for a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You'll never believe your eyes
[whistles]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:05 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


some things do not exist...FOR A REASON.

it's an abomination unto the Lord.

(p.s. I'm not religious-- figure that one out.)
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 6:17 PM on November 10, 2008


Oddly, there are a few other posts with the ever tag.
posted by swift at 6:19 PM on November 10, 2008


I'd like it to meet my Flying Jackalope Buck, and see babby formed.
posted by Floydd at 6:20 PM on November 10, 2008


I think I kinda sorta fucking hate you for this.
posted by Cyrano at 6:27 PM on November 10, 2008 [5 favorites]


METAFILTER: RIDE THE KOALATAUR.
posted by loquacious at 6:31 PM on November 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


I wandered into this tube, and got lost. Can someone explain this part of the internet?
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:32 PM on November 10, 2008


Um, what's going on here? A stuffed animal and what appears to be someone's blog of pictures of topless chicks? Not that I don't appreciate the boobies, but what's the deal here? And did you find this while browsing the tittyblog? Not something I'd want to, like, broadcast if you feel me.
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:33 PM on November 10, 2008


Sweet, I need more fucked up tumblogs after milhouse.tumblr.com went down. I was in dire need for "best of the web 4chan".
posted by amuseDetachment at 6:33 PM on November 10, 2008


I've never been so confused.
posted by alligatorman at 6:33 PM on November 10, 2008


OK, that second link is like, REALLY NSFW. If you click "earlier posts", you will find full-penetration porking. PornoFilter?
posted by DecemberBoy at 6:35 PM on November 10, 2008


WHat does a Koalataur do?

Well, it sleeps in trees for 80% of the day.

What does the Koalataur do with the other 20% of the day?

Whatever it wants.
posted by The Whelk at 6:37 PM on November 10, 2008 [7 favorites]


forgot the boobies tag as well.

Also forgot the hilarious tag.
posted by odinsdream at 6:42 PM on November 10, 2008


As far as WTF goes this has the koalataur beat six ways from Sunday.
posted by Mitheral at 6:43 PM on November 10, 2008


OK, that second link is like, REALLY NSFW. If you click "earlier posts", you will find full-penetration porking. PornoFilter?

PONY
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:43 PM on November 10, 2008


That Koalataur is obviously photoshopped. Fake!
posted by longsleeves at 6:45 PM on November 10, 2008


Based on the six limbs, shouln't all -taurs be classified as insects?
posted by maxwelton at 6:46 PM on November 10, 2008


As far as WTF goes this has the koalataur beat six ways from Sunday.

I have a Spore creature that looks pretty much exactly like that.
posted by penduluum at 7:01 PM on November 10, 2008


Baby_Balrog: OK, that second link is like, REALLY NSFW. If you click "earlier posts", you will find full-penetration porking. PornoFilter?

PONY


Well, actually half pony/half bear. Pay attention!
posted by ShameSpiral at 7:04 PM on November 10, 2008


What in holy hell? Don't do this! Stop! Right now!
posted by Turtles all the way down at 7:13 PM on November 10, 2008


But, really, which is creepier? The teddytaur or the Karl Lagerfeld bear?
posted by amarynth at 7:16 PM on November 10, 2008


This is an OUTRAGE!!
posted by Floydd at 7:19 PM on November 10, 2008


Bit more informative link about the thing. It's an Alpaca Teddy-taur, and it's apparently fully articulated (and quite expensive). And, for the record, I think it looks neat.
posted by wanderingmind at 7:19 PM on November 10, 2008


Also, I hope you all noticed that the discreet airbrushing on the teddytaur's body "emphasizes his sublime character."

JUST LIKE KARL LAGERFELD!
posted by amarynth at 7:22 PM on November 10, 2008


If you click "earlier posts", you will find full-penetration porking.

What exactly would half-penetration porking be? Something transdimensional, where in some universes there's penetration and in others there isn't, and both partners are conscious across the whole multiverse? That could be awesome. But otherwise, if any part of the football has crossed the plane of the goal line, that porking is full-penetration.

Also, koalataur needs tentacles instead of legs. How can it expect to get any worthwhile raping done without tentacles?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:22 PM on November 10, 2008 [5 favorites]


Yeah, a closer look shows that it's probably not a koala hybrid. Its tail also resembles a fox's rather than a horse's, so there really must be some kind of esoteric Sphinx riddle here.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:25 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like monkeys, you like ponies
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many monkeys
Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony
Making a gift for you?

posted by EarBucket at 7:28 PM on November 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


so is this like boytaur.net (oh, so very NSFW) for furries?
posted by sexyrobot at 7:32 PM on November 10, 2008


sexyrobot, why did you do that?
posted by The Whelk at 7:35 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


What exactly would half-penetration porking be?

Sticking your dick in a klein bottle?
posted by ryanrs at 7:40 PM on November 10, 2008 [3 favorites]


How...how is this FPP still here?

And what is it saying?

What the fuck does it WANT??

I mean, hey, thanks for the tits, but....huh?!?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:40 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


sexyrobot, I...uhm.

Huh.
posted by Floydd at 7:41 PM on November 10, 2008


This is fucking awesome. That is all.
posted by ob at 7:50 PM on November 10, 2008


That second link is easily the most NSFW thing I have ever seen on MeFi.

I'm not complaining, I'm just stating a fact.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:56 PM on November 10, 2008


paisley henosis: No, I think boytaurs beats it. Beats the penis chicken too.
posted by CKmtl at 8:00 PM on November 10, 2008


The second link is pretty WTF, too.
posted by grouse at 8:00 PM on November 10, 2008


Flickr: now mostly porn.
posted by acro at 8:02 PM on November 10, 2008


sexyrobot: The part of my memory now focused on things like wristfeet (nsfw) was formerly used to fondly recall my dead grandmother. Hope you're happy.
posted by Jilder at 8:16 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


ROU_Xenophobe writes "What exactly would half-penetration porking be?"

Where the porker is only using half of this extreme body mod.
posted by Mitheral at 8:24 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Sticking your dick in a klein bottle?

That link didn't go where I hop^H^H^H thought it would.
posted by jessamyn at 8:28 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Let me just guess here...without having clicked a link or a read a comment etc. Honest...straight to the end thing.

A fairly new mefite has one too many and dumps a pretty weird personal fetish onto the blue. About 98% of folks ask them to seek help yesterday...the other 2% say coolest thing ever. Well sadly enough...probably EVAH!!!!!

I'm guessing three or four additonal comments from OP either apologizing for or trying to justify original post. Toss in a coupla why is this here's, a few Jesus Cortex is this your damned night off or whats?

You take the wheat with the chaff.
posted by timsteil at 8:47 PM on November 10, 2008


That comment is mostly wrong, timsteil, but thanks for playing.
posted by grouse at 8:50 PM on November 10, 2008


Someone build me a time machine so I can go back to 1902 with a printout of this FPP and all of it's terrible links, find Theodore Roosevelt and stand beside him as he reads every word and absorbs every image, and, at last, when he comes to the very end, I'll hand him his gun and ask, "Do you still want to spare the bear, Teddy? Knowing what you know now?"
posted by maryh at 8:56 PM on November 10, 2008 [5 favorites]


Speaking of wrong.
You know you want to click.

I think the last vestiges of my innocence, and perhaps my very identity have been erased by log_070329
posted by Burhanistan at 9:06 PM on November 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


Mitheral, sweet fucking god. This is me running and screaming for real.

I also am confused by this post. Is this something to do with cortex starting his job as a fulltime paid mod? Huh? Seeing how quick on the draw the mods are now?
posted by jokeefe at 9:17 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]


Oh god. *whimpers*
posted by jokeefe at 9:23 PM on November 10, 2008 [4 favorites]


You take the wheat with the chaff.
Surely the other way around?
posted by atrazine at 9:23 PM on November 10, 2008


now please translate the page so i can buy that stuff for my lady friends b-day
posted by jimahon at 9:51 PM on November 10, 2008


Jessamyn, I couldn't find that pic. But here's the closest match.
posted by ryanrs at 9:56 PM on November 10, 2008


I can't believe I favorited this post and flagged it too.

Only 1809 pages left to go in the via tag!
posted by cjorgensen at 10:04 PM on November 10, 2008


And it wouldn't be taking me so long if I didn't keep taking all these 30 second breaks!

btw, wtf?
posted by cjorgensen at 10:13 PM on November 10, 2008


btw, wtf?

I know, right? She's totally got her finger on the trigger. Kids, don't put your finger on the trigger of a gun unless you plan to shoot it.

Oh.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:20 PM on November 10, 2008 [2 favorites]


That would be made in Germany.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:23 PM on November 10, 2008


I don't think I've ever hated a metafilter thread quite so much, and yet still read all the comments and clicked on all the links.

Except boytaur. Whatever that is, I will never, ever click on it.
posted by Caduceus at 10:39 PM on November 10, 2008


Eh. Boytaur isn't horrific, just sort of lame. 1 in 5 google image searches turns up something worse. Not sure I understand what the multi-cock is all about, though.
posted by ryanrs at 11:13 PM on November 10, 2008 [1 favorite]



Oh god. *whimpers*
posted by jokeefe at 9:23 PM on November 10 [1 favorite -] Favorite added! [!]


Holy Shit! That's 8 kinds of awesome!
posted by MikeKD at 12:28 AM on November 11, 2008


BURN IT WITH FIRE.
posted by panboi at 12:36 AM on November 11, 2008


Now I know what David Lynch sleeps with.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:03 AM on November 11, 2008 [4 favorites]


I really wish I could click on the log links. Actually, maybe I don't.

I do want both a Lagerbear and a Cenotaurbear, though. Actually, a mippy bear would be even cooler than a mippy action figure, were I to be famous enough for either.
posted by mippy at 5:23 AM on November 11, 2008


Ok koalataurs aside.... not that I am complaining but what is up with the link to boobs? I don't really see the connection between the two? Let me look at the two again.... AH there is it. BRILLIANT!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 6:18 AM on November 11, 2008


A picture of a stuffed bear and then a blog with a tits. Seriously?
posted by iamkimiam at 7:51 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Er, sorry...koalataur!
posted by iamkimiam at 7:53 AM on November 11, 2008


jimahon: now please translate the page so i can buy that stuff for my lady friends b-day

wanderingmind provides an english-language source for it, and it's half the price of the japanese one.
posted by CKmtl at 8:12 AM on November 11, 2008


I really love this post, and this thread.
posted by everichon at 9:01 AM on November 11, 2008


A picture of a stuffed bear and then a blog with a tits. Seriously?

To be honest, I think that now he's a Professional Moderator, Cortex just feels some performance anxiety re: producing the perfect snarky deletion reason. Because let's face it: this post deserves a snarky deletion reason for the ages. I personally would go with "So Long, and Thanks for All the Tits" -- but I am no Cortex.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:51 AM on November 11, 2008


Mitheral, that scared the shit out of me. More than the koalataur or even boytaur.
posted by mitzyjalapeno at 10:20 AM on November 11, 2008


Just so's you know, I'm fairly certain the [via] blog contains a wee bit of the ol' child porn.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:45 AM on November 11, 2008


Just so's you know, I'm fairly certain the [via] blog contains a wee bit of the ol' child porn.

I found the site through ffffound, though the picture was linked only through the second link. My extraordinary apologies if it does and perhaps we should just remove the second link. I used it as a bit of snark more than anything. Sorry if it offended anyone.
posted by parmanparman at 11:35 AM on November 11, 2008


No hostility. The offending pics have gone up since your FPP was posted, so you're hardly responsible. I just wanted to warn anyone else before they clicked, and maybe yeah the link could be dead-ended.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:53 AM on November 11, 2008


No, actually there's lots of child porn on that damn blog.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:55 PM on November 11, 2008


OMFG I will never get that image out of my mind! You know there have been a lot of things on the web that I claim have scared me for life but they were all just exaggerations till now. That is the creepiest thing I have ever seen and I will (no joke) probably have nightmares about it. WTF?!?! who thought that a half centaur half teddy bear was a good idea!!!

damn you internet!
posted by SheMulp AKA Plus 1 at 2:45 PM on November 11, 2008


I'm also 100% certain that the [via] blog will cause irreversible brain damage.

They've noticed us.
posted by odinsdream at 8:39 PM on November 11, 2008


Damn it - correct link.
posted by odinsdream at 8:39 PM on November 11, 2008


odinsdream: I don't get the recursive link. Mistake on your part, or perhaps brain damage on my part?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:40 PM on November 11, 2008


GAH! My words are posted there. I think I'm going to go kick a koalataur in the nads.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:42 PM on November 11, 2008


It doesn't look like it has any, Burhanistan. Nor navel.
TEACH THE CONTROVERSY
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 9:25 PM on November 11, 2008


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