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okay this is where the monster first showed up
November 11, 2008 5:24 AM   Subscribe

Further proof (as if you needed it) that some people have too much time on their hands: someone has taken full advantage of the many tools available on Google Maps to create a map of the events in Cloverfield. The narrative at each point is stonerific.
posted by shiu mai baby (56 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
Stonerific indeed, yet slightly more entertaining than the movie itself.
posted by pyrex at 5:31 AM on November 11, 2008


I shook my monitor in order to get the full effect, dude.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:51 AM on November 11, 2008 [6 favorites]


Ha, this is great. I really liked the movie, I saw it in a theater well after everyone else at the AMC/Loews on 3rd Ave/11th st. in NYC, and it was really creepy coming out of the theater in the dark, looking uptown and imagining such a creature just annihilating buildings. The movie did require a lot of suspension of disbelief, though.
posted by Mach5 at 5:53 AM on November 11, 2008


I imagine the script conferences must have been very much like this, Drew Goddard all acting out the chick that like, explodes, Matt Reeves all like 'Man, that is so ill, dude."
posted by Phanx at 5:55 AM on November 11, 2008


The Street View should be even better.
posted by twoleftfeet at 5:55 AM on November 11, 2008


oh man that was too ill you see the monster all close up with those weird sacs on the side of his head all pulsing and then he just chomps up your boy and the guy and the girl are like uhhh we are standing around because we are very stupid

I think I was in the same movie theater with this guy when he saw the film for the first time.
posted by Spatch at 6:05 AM on November 11, 2008


So the monster didnt get to mangle all of New York? Just that bit around where all the icons are. Dont fret New Yorkers, I'm sure the next movie monster will finish what this one started.

Its always New York in films. Its a wonder you don't all wallow some sort of a fictional victim status like Liverpudlians do here in the UK.




I do agree with pyrex though - the commentry is far more entertaining that the movie was.
posted by 13twelve at 6:10 AM on November 11, 2008


Now I mourn for Hud all over again.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:11 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Awesome. If it were not for the lame good-looking-people's party at the beginning this would have been a classic. I show it to people all the time, skip through the front part, "Just some dram, don't worry about it," and start where the power goes out.

Also, the depiction of generic good looking young yuppies who are so self-absorbed they waltz around a city being destroyed by a fucking monster is not so implausible.
posted by geoff. at 6:11 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Now I mourn for Hud all over again.

I know, poor Marmaduke.
posted by NoMich at 6:18 AM on November 11, 2008


This map lends credence to my theory that the monster was going after privileged white people. Any borough other than Manhattan? Nope. Anywhere north of Central Park? Nope. They should have fled to Washington Heights, and to safety.
posted by Bromius at 6:25 AM on November 11, 2008 [3 favorites]


I had no idea Cloverfield took place in New York City.
posted by MarshallPoe at 6:31 AM on November 11, 2008


MarshallPoe, that shot of the Statue of Liberty's head bouncing down a street in SoHo (which was in every single trailer) wasn't a big enough hint for you?
posted by shiu mai baby at 6:36 AM on November 11, 2008


I know, poor Marmaduke.

Oh thank goodness someone else besides me and my roommates said "Hey, it's Marmaduke!" when he first showed up.
posted by piratebowling at 6:38 AM on November 11, 2008


An important thing to remember which I may have heard first here is that the characters in Cloverfield have been at a party for three hours or so when the monster hits. They're tipsy verging on hammered, which explains a lot of their actions.
posted by minifigs at 6:40 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


At first, I was grateful there was no trope similar to the annoying kid who always appears in Godzilla movies... but, honestly, any single 20-something is worse than the annoying kid. Cloverfield featured a whole pack of the former.

If you watch the movie again, try to see it as one monster's desperate struggle to escape a city swarming with such idiots. It is truly desperate, too -- like a bad penny, one particular group keeps turning up. Those bastards just won't leave the monster alone!
posted by Kikkoman at 6:41 AM on November 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


This map lends credence to my theory that the monster was going after privileged white people.

My theory is the creature didn't want to be photographed, and spent the whole film chasing Hud to get his camera.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:46 AM on November 11, 2008


The imdb entry states that the film's creature designer claims "the monster is a baby in a new environment -- "spooked" and looking for its mother."
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:22 AM on November 11, 2008



The imdb entry states that the film's creature designer claims "the monster is a baby in a new environment -- "spooked" and looking for its mother."


That makes it a remake of Gorgo. God, I gotta see that movie again. Hollywood hasn't come out with any original sci-fi for years, save M. Night Shamalan's crap.
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:33 AM on November 11, 2008


On the tag that says

"this is around where the copter falls down
Last Updated by Reggie on Feb 2
Total distance: 3587.19 ft
something like here I dunno it was hard to say but it was a field that kinda looked like Strawberry Field and that's like around here"

Strawberry Field is actually on the West Side of the park in the 70's.
posted by MattScully at 7:36 AM on November 11, 2008


With that introduction, I have to say that the "traffic" view was a little disappointing.
posted by mhoye at 7:39 AM on November 11, 2008


If the plot of Gorgo -- among other films -- is any guide, the greatest profession of the 20th century was "circus owner". They were all drunk with power! They had clowns, bears, and other such mutated and horrible monsters fully at their disposal! People were cutting their own throats to give these attractions away -- to dress an arena of terror -- and the great cities of the world shook before their shiny, shiny boots.
posted by Kikkoman at 7:55 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


> Its always New York in films.

Yeah, and it's always Tokyo that gets thrashed by Godzilla, not Kyoto.

A monster that only gets as far as East Lansing, Michigan before it's brought down is not an impressive monster. It's got to dream big, work hard and go to the big city to do its best.
posted by ardgedee at 7:59 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Some of the camera work made me feel pretty ill, too.
posted by tapeguy at 8:17 AM on November 11, 2008


Its always New York in films.
Yeah, and it's always Tokyo that gets thrashed by Godzilla, not Kyoto.


Never any love for Reptilicus.
posted by ormondsacker at 8:18 AM on November 11, 2008


It really doesn't seem particularly interesting to plot things on Google maps just because you can. Would people like to look at a plot of all of the Starbucks that I've stopped in to take a dump when I was out and about?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:27 AM on November 11, 2008


Oh God, that commentary. I usually don't get "grammar nazi," but that commentary sent me into the fetal position.

And for today's tangent:

Never any love for Reptilicus.

That was on a saturday afternoon movie when I was about seven, and it freaked me out. I've since seen clips of Reptilicus again and wondered why in the hell I was so frightened.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:27 AM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite]


Would people like to look at a plot of all of the Starbucks that I've stopped in to take a dump when I was out and about?

Start a blog. You'll be surprised.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:28 AM on November 11, 2008


Interesting use of Google nerdery. Terrible movie.
posted by littlerobothead at 8:28 AM on November 11, 2008


(if you connect the lines on my plot it looks like a line drawing of a guy sitting on a toilet--there are lots of Starbucks locations in my city)
posted by Burhanistan at 8:29 AM on November 11, 2008


minifigs : An important thing to remember which I may have heard first here is that the characters in Cloverfield have been at a party for three hours or so when the monster hits. They're tipsy verging on hammered, which explains a lot of their actions.

In the interests of balance, I think it's important to consider that the monster could also have just come from a party and is tipsy verging on hammered. It might explain why it keeps crashing into things and being so belligerent.

The Cloverfield monster is just a mean drunk.

Still, it made for a better film that the inevitable sequel: "Cloverfield 2; The Intervention"
posted by quin at 8:49 AM on November 11, 2008 [2 favorites]


Never any love for Reptilicus.

That was on a saturday afternoon movie when I was about seven, and it freaked me out. I've since seen clips of Reptilicus again and wondered why in the hell I was so frightened.


I had the same reaction when I watched Night of the Lepus again. Though I still have an unnatural fear of Rabbits...
posted by manosthf at 8:58 AM on November 11, 2008


Would people like to look at a plot of all of the Starbucks that I've stopped in to take a dump when I was out and about?

A log blog?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:58 AM on November 11, 2008


A b'log.
posted by NoMich at 9:05 AM on November 11, 2008


Any borough other than Manhattan? Nope.

To be fair, the kids are headed across the Brooklyn Bridge when Clovie prevents them from leaving the island.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:25 AM on November 11, 2008


Its always New York in films.

The giant grasshoppers in Beginning of the End attack Chicago.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:39 AM on November 11, 2008


I just watched this over the weekend, and found it is a much, much better movie if you just skip to the 17:00 mark in the film. The "protagonists," such as they are, are completely disposable and forgettable, so you'll be doing yourself a huge favor if you hop past the bland hipster narcissism and get right to the good stuff. You will be missing exactly nothing.

Also, I found that watching it on TV was far less kinetosis-inducing than in the theater.
posted by shiu mai baby at 9:42 AM on November 11, 2008


The giant grasshoppers in Beginning of the End attack Chicago.

That was one of the best MST3Ks ever.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:45 AM on November 11, 2008


Also, I found that watching it on TV was far less kinetosis-inducing than in the theater.

I made sure to see it in the theatre because I was convinced that it wouldn't be even vaguely as good on the small screen. Was I right?
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:46 AM on November 11, 2008


Its always New York in films.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - in and around San Diego, CA
The Blob - Chester County, PA
Day the Earth Stood Still - Washington, DC
War of the Worlds - Woking, England (novel); Grover's Mill, NJ (radio); California & Arizona (1953 film)
Independence Day - NYC definitely took a beating, but so did Washington and L.A., as well as every major city on the planet.

But yeah, I think New York gets it worst than most other cities -- with the sole exception of Tokyo -- just because it's such a densely populated area with lots and lots of monster-baiting (heh) buildings.
posted by shiu mai baby at 9:53 AM on November 11, 2008


Pope Guilty: I found it much better on the small screen, frankly, although part of that is skipping the interminable party at the beginning. On the big screen I definitely had a few moments of nausea, but watching it on TV, none.

Much like Blair Witch Project, I think the "found video" device works better on a television, as it feels more authentic. Video was never meant to be broadcast in giant format.
posted by shiu mai baby at 9:56 AM on November 11, 2008


Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - in and around San Diego, CA
The Blob - Chester County, PA
Day the Earth Stood Still - Washington, DC
War of the Worlds - Woking, England (novel); Grover's Mill, NJ (radio); California & Arizona (1953 film)
Independence Day - NYC definitely took a beating, but so did Washington and L.A., as well as every major city on the planet.


Hey, don't forget Night Of The Lepus, in which rabbits terrorized the American southwest.
posted by davejay at 10:05 AM on November 11, 2008


this is like where we see that horse and carriage

but no driver lol


Urgh
posted by KokuRyu at 11:26 AM on November 11, 2008


I've seen models of the creature in isolation, but very little of footage from the movie of it. Can anyone point me to screenshots other than the one from the trailer that's everywhere?
posted by Eideteker at 12:30 PM on November 11, 2008


I haven't seen the movie but that was great.
posted by exhilaration at 1:17 PM on November 11, 2008


To be fair, the kids are headed across the Brooklyn Bridge when Clovie prevents them from leaving the island.

Well, I heard "Clovie" was merrily minding his own business when he got pulled into the bridge by the crowd. That accident was inevitable. There was just too much suck in one location.
posted by Kikkoman at 1:20 PM on November 11, 2008


I can still recall a most excellent review in The Independent where the reviewer essentially summed up the stupidity of the movie because "if it had happened, we'd have heard about it".

Cloverfield worked for me. I do think a large part of the hate-on for the film was the sheer bonkers concept to begin with - and the fact that we had no stereotypical characters to push our particular buttons (Bruce Willis will not be divesting the monster of his ass in this particular motion picture my friend).

Or to put it another way, continue please to enjoy Ferris Bueller vs Godzilla - and the rest of us will continue to enjoy Cloverfield.
posted by panboi at 1:26 PM on November 11, 2008


Or to put it another way, continue please to enjoy Ferris Bueller vs Godzilla - and the rest of us will continue to enjoy Cloverfield.

What if one finds both of those movies to suck?
posted by Burhanistan at 1:41 PM on November 11, 2008


I prefer to think of it as Inspector Gadget v Godzilla, because I find the idea funnier.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:50 PM on November 11, 2008


Go Go GadgAARRRRGGGHHHH *splat*
posted by quin at 1:59 PM on November 11, 2008


As goeff says: Also, the depiction of generic good looking young yuppies who are so self-absorbed they waltz around a city being destroyed by a fucking monster is not so implausible.

I'd like to see Whit Stillman remake Metropolis, but in the remake a giant creature rises out of the sea and eats all the salon-dwelling, narcissistic, pseudo-intellectual 20-somethings in mid-rambling-sentence.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 3:07 PM on November 11, 2008


Oh God, that commentary. I usually don't get "grammar nazi," but that commentary sent me into the fetal position.

Uncurl yourself! That is what's known in the LOLminer business as Comedy Stylings.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:22 PM on November 11, 2008


Attack of the Killer Tomatoes - in and around San Diego, CA
The Blob - Chester County, PA
Day the Earth Stood Still - Washington, DC


Yeah, but it's the sewers of Los Angeles in the greatest monster movie of all time. No, seriously:

Unlike most of the "giant bugs" sci-fi programmers of the 1950s, which are good for little more than a campy laugh today, Them! remains a compelling and entertaining thriller with an unusually intelligent script, strong performances from a fine cast, and tense, well-paced direction that knows how to play this material seriously. While the special effects technology is not especially impressive by today's standards, watch Them! after such anti-classics as Beginning of the End or Earth vs. the Spider and you'll realize how striking this film's giant ants must have looked in 1954. More important, Them! generates a palpable tension from the start, never overplaying its hand as it gradually develops the unreality of the mutated insects, well after establishing that a real and deadly menace is terrorizing the desert. James Arness and James Whitmore are capable and credible lawmen, Edmund Gwenn keeps his "lovable" eccentricities to a minimum as Dr. Medford, and the charming but all-business Joan Weldon lifts her character above the usual sci-fi token woman. Fess Parker and Dub Taylor make the most of their bit parts, and, if you keep an eye peeled, you'll notice Leonard Nimoy using the teletype machine. Them! blends the lean and efficient construction of a B-picture with the craft that studios usually reserved for more expensive efforts, and the result is one of the best sci-fi films of its era.

And Cloverfield was a very, very good giant monster movie that stands right up there with the best of the genre.

*stomps the haters*
posted by mediareport at 5:32 PM on November 11, 2008


So someone spent more time making a Google Maps mashup of Cloverfield than Drew Goddard spent on writing the film? Ingenious!
posted by crossoverman at 5:54 PM on November 11, 2008


I now want to combine it with this... but I fear it would cause a near-critical level of geekiness
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:03 AM on November 12, 2008


Further proof (as if you needed it) that some people have too much time on their hands

I think you meant "too much weed on their hands".
posted by alexwoods at 1:00 PM on November 12, 2008


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