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Back-handed by Anubis
November 29, 2008 10:52 PM   Subscribe

Astaria Films presents: Something Lost ... the Love of Your Life ...
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing (39 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Wow... that was really... something.
posted by MythMaker at 10:59 PM on November 29, 2008


OMG that was bad.

Why on earth did you post this?

Is this the new rickroll or goatse?
posted by vertigo25 at 11:11 PM on November 29, 2008


lol wut
posted by Xoebe at 11:16 PM on November 29, 2008


Why on earth did you post this?

I thought it went beyond bad and into astonishingly bad.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:18 PM on November 29, 2008


Some stay dry and others feel the pain.
posted by erniepan at 11:19 PM on November 29, 2008


I kept looking for the Stargate, but did not get out in time and had to watch the video to the end.

The best part was the intro text, written with such earnest. "His hair is purposely messed up, his character in chaos. "
posted by cgk at 11:21 PM on November 29, 2008


I like how Anubis made him fall into the vampire room.
posted by MythMaker at 11:25 PM on November 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


Huh.

Raise and call.
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:29 PM on November 29, 2008


From the first link:

The Hunger... A music video with a story: love and loss, taking you into ancient Egypt, down the Nile, past burnished pyramids and temples against burning twilight skies... and deep into the heart of the underworld.

And the always thrilling peek Behind The Scenes
posted by longsleeves at 11:38 PM on November 29, 2008


This is in retaliation for my cop rock post, isn't it?
posted by mrzarquon at 11:54 PM on November 29, 2008 [1 favorite]


that track sounds like it was recorded around 1985- Yamaha DX7, simmons drums, no quantizing
posted by bhnyc at 11:55 PM on November 29, 2008


I hope Hanes Her Way gets a Grammy or something for their costume work in this.
posted by katillathehun at 12:14 AM on November 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Wait. I have questions.

1. Does "Realm 1-11" really exist or is that a fancy way of saying "his girlfriend"? You know, like how "Retsin" is just Certs' fancy name for partially hydrogenated cottonseed oil?

2. What exactly is on fire here?
posted by katillathehun at 12:30 AM on November 30, 2008


What exactly is on fire here?

Dude. Those are the SECRET DREAMS that he's GUARDING.
posted by signalnine at 12:43 AM on November 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Also, check out the Youtube comments, there are replies by the "filmmakers."
posted by signalnine at 1:00 AM on November 30, 2008


From the YouTube comments:
Is this a fucking joke? I really hope it is, because if not then everyone involved in the making of this video should be killed

You know, Robert DiNero once said that when you're making a film, you can't tell whether it's going to be good or bad. And when you look at the "behind the scenes" photos, you can believe it. I'm sure everyone was psyched about taking part in the concept; the actors happy to get bit parts, the CG effects person, the lighting and sound crew, even the lead singer who appears to act grudgingly at best - they were all probably sold by the director's vision for the video. The plot doesn't sound half bad to read it, either.

In this video, you really see what a keystone to production the director is. Scorcese could probably make a winner out of an Ed Wood script. By the same token, this guy takes concepts as foolproof as vampires and ancient Egyptian - combined! - and creates this.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 1:11 AM on November 30, 2008 [2 favorites]


I want my 3 minutes back. And I only watched that far because I kept thinking it had to get better.
posted by surlycat at 1:19 AM on November 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


Marisa, kudos for posting one of my favorite vids. But how could you forget the director's magnum opus, Mind Forest??
posted by mattholomew at 2:21 AM on November 30, 2008


But how could you forget the director's magnum opus , Mind Forest??

The people's choice at film festivals everywhere!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:55 AM on November 30, 2008


I don't know what this was, but I'm confident the time and money of everyone involved would have been better spent on other things. Like ( insert witty/clever unlikely activity here, eg: writing a novel from the point of view of a chair that has been forgotten in a storage locker, training gerbils to juggle, etc. I'm sure you can come up with something more clever/witty than me).

An interesting 4 min detour, if not very interesting.
posted by From Bklyn at 3:49 AM on November 30, 2008


Interesting: porn production values become much less excusable when there's no porn involved.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 5:46 AM on November 30, 2008 [3 favorites]


Last night I was driving to the NIN concert. I was at safe-following distance of the pickup in front of me, but as I head-checked to change lanes, the entire lane I was in stopped dead. Halfway through my lane change, I rammed into the pickup at 35 mph, totaling my precious 1988 Cadillac DeVille. This crash only happened due to the exact, perfect, unfortunate timing of my head-check, lane change, and the decision by a driver several cars up to slam on his brakes for some unknown reason. No injuries, but I missed the concert, and my car is worthless, and without collision insurance. This freak accident of timing caused me to think that maybe God was out to get me for some reason.

Then I saw this video first thing upon waking, and I'm sure of it.

Is it a sequel to The Crying Game? Because damn.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 6:50 AM on November 30, 2008


And to think a $15 haircut could have prevented this.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:52 AM on November 30, 2008


I don't know what this was, but I'm confident the time and money of everyone involved would have been better spent on other things.

I have a feeling the director did just that, at least with most of the money.
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:01 AM on November 30, 2008


You people are crazy--spoiled by movies by Bergman, Fellinni, and Godard, you've become jaded. Ignorant even. Dare I say, Blind! A new generation of filmmakers is among you. Raised in the cinema and weaned on films by Michael Bay, Joel Schumacher, and Ewe Boll, we will bury you!

Behold! Watch out! We're coming!
posted by Manhasset at 7:06 AM on November 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


I get the distinct feeling this guy turns away from the mic to breathe in.
posted by Tesseractive at 7:43 AM on November 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


You've seen the video, now read the story. It's quite essential for understanding what's going on.

For example, you probably didn't guess that the VAMPIRE CREATURES represent his inner demons.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:43 AM on November 30, 2008


Well, I'm off to reevaluate my life.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:13 AM on November 30, 2008


I'd like to say something eponysterical here, but I'm just drawing . . .
oh, nevermind
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:56 AM on November 30, 2008


In this video, you really see what a keystone to production the director is.

And acting, singing, lyric-writing and editing.
posted by DU at 9:13 AM on November 30, 2008


This makes me want to throw up my lunch, and I haven't even eaten yet.
posted by greta simone at 9:22 AM on November 30, 2008


weaned on films by Michael Bay, Joel Schumacher, and Ewe Boll

Uh...it's "Uwe" Boll, peasant! {smirks}
posted by mattholomew at 9:37 AM on November 30, 2008


I know it's all just ones and zeros, but sometimes it seems like a lot more zeros.
posted by secondhand at 10:06 AM on November 30, 2008


I was expecting for David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve. Ow.
posted by doctor_negative at 11:12 AM on November 30, 2008


I feel something when I watch this video. Something called




The hunger.



Haha man sometimes youtube comments get it exactly right.

Thanks Marisa, this is fantastic.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:35 PM on November 30, 2008


Is she wearing a sports bra?
posted by Evangeline at 4:37 PM on November 30, 2008


I think it's just a regular t-shirt bra from Nefertari's Secret.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:38 PM on November 30, 2008


The golden trim means it's authentic.
posted by Evangeline at 8:04 PM on November 30, 2008


Don't forget to check the cartouche on the label, though - on cheap ripoff versions, the hawk glyph only has one leg.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:22 PM on November 30, 2008 [1 favorite]


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