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That donut I drank was delicious.
December 3, 2008 7:29 AM   Subscribe

How many calories did you drink last night? Alcohol intake, rendered in food equivalents. posted by jbickers (76 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Yeah, but if you drink till you puke, does it count?
posted by fungible at 7:35 AM on December 3, 2008 [3 favorites]


What's an onion bhaji? Looks like it might be good.
posted by echo target at 7:35 AM on December 3, 2008 [3 favorites]


No wonder I can't lose weight.
posted by tiger yang at 7:36 AM on December 3, 2008


An onion bhaji is battered deep fried onions. And yes. Good. But not for your breath or health.
posted by srboisvert at 7:37 AM on December 3, 2008


what the heck is a jaffa cake?
posted by yeoz at 7:37 AM on December 3, 2008


Man...that doesn't even count all the stuff you scarfed down while raiding the cupboard drunk!
posted by hellinskira at 7:38 AM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I don't know what an onion bhaji is, but it can't be as tasty as cranberry juice and vodka!

And that calculator failed to account for all the jaffa cakes I ate while boozing.

Is it bad that I thought, 1050 calories isn't that bad. That's like two Snickers.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:39 AM on December 3, 2008


I'm not certain about this, but I hear that the German monks used to drink Salvator during periods of fasting to keep them nourished. A bottle of that stuff is like a loaf of bread.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:40 AM on December 3, 2008


Two donuts, a jaffa cake, a bhaji, and a hotdog: 655 calories. But I didn't eat all day. So that's still in the healthy range, right?
posted by spacely_sprocket at 7:44 AM on December 3, 2008


It's information like this that leads to drunkorexia.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:44 AM on December 3, 2008 [6 favorites]


The average ejaculate contains about 3-5mL of fluid, is comprised of mostly sugars and various proteins. Overall, each ejaculate is between 5 and 7 calories.
posted by gman at 7:44 AM on December 3, 2008


Hmm, doesn't really account for the size of your beers or if you go for lite beers. I'm assuming they're counting full pints rather than 12 oz bottles, but maybe I'm wrong.
posted by piratebowling at 7:45 AM on December 3, 2008


AN onion bhaji!

And a jaffa cake is a heavenly soft biscuit with a marmalade filling and a chocolate top.
posted by jonesor at 7:46 AM on December 3, 2008


Apparently, I drank a cheeseburger, which is weird, since I don't remember a blender.
posted by rokusan at 7:47 AM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


jaffa cake = eclair?
posted by xmutex at 7:51 AM on December 3, 2008


The average ejaculate contains about 3-5mL of fluid, is comprised of mostly sugars and various proteins. Overall, each ejaculate is between 5 and 7 calories.

But it takes about 200x that amount of calories to actually generate an ejaculation. Talk about high food costs.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:51 AM on December 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


This food is so British! I also like that "beer, cider, or lager" is a category. I think lager IS beer, but evidently someone thinks otherwise.

Is it bad that I thought, 1050 calories isn't that bad. That's like two Snickers.

It's more like four Snickers minus one bite.
posted by Miko at 7:52 AM on December 3, 2008


Ah, apparently my slim waist can be attributed to drinking only straight liquor.
posted by device55 at 7:53 AM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


You have not lived until you've had an onion bhaji and jaffa cakes. Maybe not at the same time, but damn. (they both go nicely with beer too)

Reminds me of an advert I saw in Boston around the Atkins craze. It was advertising Guinness and made mention of how low it was on carbs. If I ever decline a pint of Guinness because I'm watching my carbs, I don't want to live anymore.

As my company Xmas party is on Friday, I should probably skip breakfast, lunch and dinnfer and just get the full 2000 calories through alcohol.
posted by slimepuppy at 7:54 AM on December 3, 2008


But it takes about 200x that amount of calories to actually generate an ejaculation. Talk about high food costs.

All part of our evil plan to drain men's vital energies, while staying skinny.
posted by Miko at 7:54 AM on December 3, 2008


Wow. My absinthe binges are seriously calorific. I'm going to have to start drinking on an empty stomach.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:55 AM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


I already knew this was kind of a problem for me. Usually, I make it a point not to drink in January, and I stick to it pretty well. This time I'm making a resolution not to drink alcohol until I hit my target weight.

Ask me how it's working out come February.
posted by lordrunningclam at 7:55 AM on December 3, 2008


Oh cute....they measure everything in British!

(Onion bhajis aren't quite just fried onions....and they're great with a nice raita dip).

I also love the term alcopop....something for the kids!
posted by availablelight at 7:56 AM on December 3, 2008


btw, they seem to be counting full imperial pints which are bigger than US pints.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:56 AM on December 3, 2008


It was advertising Guinness and made mention of how low it was on carbs

Guinness is one of the lighter beers available, in general. Plus it's low in alcohol, so you can have several dozen pints and still drive home. Double bonus.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:57 AM on December 3, 2008


Hmm, doesn't really account for the size of your beers or if you go for lite beers. I'm assuming they're counting full pints rather than 12 oz bottles, but maybe I'm wrong.

It was my experience that bottles of beer and any 'Lite' beer was illegal in the UK. Also, though you can order half pints, the minimum is two.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:01 AM on December 3, 2008


Good god am I missing Britain right now.

"what's a bhaji? What's a Jaffa cake?"

...only the best things ever.
posted by Artw at 8:06 AM on December 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


Ethanol: The ultimate carb.
posted by DU at 8:07 AM on December 3, 2008


I can testify that quitting drinking can be a pretty swell way to lose weight. Not only is there all that beer weight, there's also the late-night feasting and the hungover grease infusions.

On the other hand, quitting smoking makes one pack the weight back on. So smoke 'em if you got 'em.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:08 AM on December 3, 2008


Beer is clearly throwing a wrench into my weight loss plans. I'm now considering illegal drugs as a healthy substitute. Thanks MetaFilter!
posted by naju at 8:08 AM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


Hmm. They're taking a rather high estimate of the number of calories in alcoholic beverages, while taking a rather low estimate of the calories in the assorted foods. They're giving 175 calories per beer, which is on the upper end of the scale (a 12oz Bud is about 150), and 165 for a full glass of wine (a 5oz glass of wine is about 105).

A Jaffa cake might sound like it has a lot of calories, it's listed as only having 46, which less than as an apple.
posted by cytherea at 8:16 AM on December 3, 2008


Quick note...

1 Beer is 175 Calories??? What kind of beer are they drinking? Last time I checked Guinnes is like 100-120 calories and that is a thicker beer. If you drink Light beer then it is even less. Also since this is from England are they measuring their beer in the same volume as us? They drink pints over there right? We drink 12oz.

Also I saw on manswers that drinking beer and alcohol (just shots not mixers) does not lead to a gut. It is the food and mixers that are associated with drinking that lead to the gut.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 8:17 AM on December 3, 2008


A cautionary tale (NSFW, kinda).
posted by Burhanistan at 8:20 AM on December 3, 2008


Also I saw on manswers that drinking beer and alcohol (just shots not mixers) does not lead to a gut.

Opinions differ on that. Two things that do seem clear, though: alcohol of any sort can negatively affect your metabolism, and the body gets rid of alcohol before anything else, so when there's alcohol in the body, the body isn't using fat for energy.

Again, I say, dammit.
posted by jbickers at 8:22 AM on December 3, 2008


They're giving 175 calories per beer, which is on the upper end of the scale

Better beer has more calories. Two of my favorites, Red Hook ESB and Red Hook IPA, are 179 and 188 calories per 12 oz, respectively.

Also, at one (pre-metric) point in history, English pints were bigger than American pints. Is that still true?

Guinnes is like 100-120 calories and that is a thicker beer

As noted above, it's one of the lowest-calorie non-light beers there is.
posted by Miko at 8:23 AM on December 3, 2008


So I can be skinny and sober or fat and drunk?


Winston! Open another Madeira and let out my waistcoat! I feel like being vast and pleasant tonight!
posted by The Whelk at 8:25 AM on December 3, 2008 [5 favorites]


They're giving 175 calories per beer, which is on the upper end of the scale (a 12oz Bud is about 150), and 165 for a full glass of wine (a 5oz glass of wine is about 105).

So they're about right - we drink pints of beer, and in pubs wine comes in 175ml or 250ml measures.
posted by jack_mo at 8:25 AM on December 3, 2008


This is why calorie counting is not necessarily the best way to figure out what your should be eating when trying to lose weight. A calorie is the amount of energy stored in matter - alcohol burns very brightly. But your body is not a bunsen burner, and if there's a mechanism which allows the liver to turn blood alcohol into triglycerides, and thence into fat, I'm not aware of it.

Your body cannot process alcohols into fats - your muscles either burn them as a sugar-substitute for quick energy, or the liver filters them out of your blood stream. Beer and wine have stuff in them besides alcohol, and that's what's fattening - about as fattening as watered down grape juice or a thin soup made from grain. Mixed drinks have =tons of sugar= added - Rumpleminze is 50% alcohol, and 50% sugar syrup. Hard booze which isn't sweetened, either in the bottle or in a cocktail, like vodka, gin, whiskey and rum, will be about as fattening as a glass of water. (But not as healthy... the way booze works is that you're basically poisoning yourself until your brain malfunctions. You shouldn't cut down on booze to lose weight, you should cut down on booze to stop wrecking your brain, kidneys, joints and liver.)

Apart from sugary mixers, the biggest way booze hurts your diet is that it 1) makes you want to eat something to settle your stomach and 2) removes the inhibitions that would normally prevent you from ordering the double-loaded nachos and 3) your body is running off of the booze, so the blood sugar from that pile o' nachos is turned into triglycerides, and thence into fat, sooner than it would otherwise.

Not enough nutritionists are aware of endocrinology, so we see this booze-is-fattening thing pop up every now and again.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:25 AM on December 3, 2008 [26 favorites]


If double spirits is 105Cal, and a beer 175, then (spirits eqiv onion bhaji) and (beer equiv 2x onion bhaji + jaffa cake) is pretty dubious.

While a 12oz light is more like 100-110 Cal, if you drink something richer it's more. For example, an anchor porter is more than 200Cal if memory serves. Sierra Nevada IPA is also crazy high.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 8:32 AM on December 3, 2008


Most of the latest diet stuff I run across seems to be shifting towards the "all calories are not equal" in that the body has very different reactions to 100 calories of high fructose corn syrup and 100 calories of turnip greens. I forget the specifics but I've also read that the body deals with white wine and red wine somewhat differently due to, I think, sugars remaining in white wines.

It seems pretty clear that alcohol temporarily decreases metabolism but how accurate is it to equate a drink with a donut?
posted by well_balanced at 8:33 AM on December 3, 2008


Nvm, I'd say Slap*Happy covered it.
posted by well_balanced at 8:36 AM on December 3, 2008


you're basically poisoning yourself until your brain malfunctions

You say this like it's a bad thing.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:37 AM on December 3, 2008 [2 favorites]


btw, they seem to be counting full imperial pints which are bigger than US pints.

Uh-oh. This is one of those times that between the quaint use of measurements and Canada's general cultural weirdness that I don't know which system we use. What "pint" system is used in Canada - the US or British?
posted by Deep Dish at 8:38 AM on December 3, 2008


Slap*Happy: the liver converts ethanol to acetyl-CoA which enters gluconeogensis or lipid synthesis, both of which it exports on demand. Alcoholics can derive their entire caloric requirement from alcohol.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 8:40 AM on December 3, 2008


I would order a rum and diet coke, but the people in the bartender hates you thread would yell at me.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:58 AM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


All this is doing is making me hungry for donuts.
posted by ook at 9:00 AM on December 3, 2008


uncleozzy : Plus it's low in alcohol, so you can have several dozen pints and still drive home. Double bonus.

I've honestly never understood this; why would I want to drink something that is low in alcohol? If I'm drinking, it is presumably to become inebriated, so why would I want to have to drink more to get there?

I view it as this; whiskey is alcohol for people who like to get drunk, beer is alcohol for people who like to pee.
posted by quin at 9:12 AM on December 3, 2008 [4 favorites]


So I think that what Slap*Happy is saying is that my developing neck paunch is not the result of all the beer I drink, but the bowl of jellybeans at my friend's place that I then proceed to munch out of while drunk.
posted by Caduceus at 9:15 AM on December 3, 2008


why would I want to drink something that is low in alcohol?

So you can enjoy a night out with friends, maybe a very mild mellowing effect, and still get yourself home.

Drinking specifically to get drunk is something that some people do, I'd say mainly younger people and certainly alcoholics and the rest of us sometimes when the mood strikes, but it's not something everybody does. And I'm always surprised when that comes as news to people. But at this stage in my life, I drink because (a) I like beer and wine a lot, and I enjoy tasting and appreciating their qualities as beverages; (b) I enjoy the convivial nature of bars and pubs and dinners with wine; (c) a glass a day, good for your heart. I can't say I don't also enjoy the neurological effects, because I do, but they are pretty mild if you're having just one drink or two over many hours. I often drink without pursuing drunkenness. Most people I know at this point in life are like that. So a Guinness is a great choice for going out to trivia night at the pub - I can hang out, support the waitress and the place a little better than if I drank soft drinks, enjoy a really good alcoholic beverage, have fun, but not impair myself to the point where driving would be dangerous or I act stupid and feel sick the next day.

There is a role in people's lives for alcohol without always using it to get fucked up, but it seems that many of us discover it pretty late in life, and some never do.
posted by Miko at 9:19 AM on December 3, 2008 [8 favorites]


See, this is why I stick to heroin.
posted by bibliowench at 9:22 AM on December 3, 2008


I've never seen a fat heroin addict, it's true.
posted by naju at 9:24 AM on December 3, 2008


gman's diet plan sounds disgusting.

My personal experience with dieting leads me to believe that all calories are more-or-less equal. It's the premise behind The Hacker Diet, and people who go on the hacker diet end up with lots of really good data. "Alcohol can't be metabolized into fat"? You got charts, buddy? 'Cause I got charts.
posted by bonecrusher at 9:26 AM on December 3, 2008


See, this is why I stick to heroin.

Smack IS the wonder drug. It not only suppresses your appetite, but the puking also helps with weight loss.
posted by gman at 9:39 AM on December 3, 2008


Miko : I drink because (a) I like beer and wine a lot, and I enjoy tasting and appreciating their qualities as beverages;

Ah, I'm beginning to see differences in our approaches here: while I can't stand the taste of beer, I will certainly agree that wine has its moments of greatness.

I can hang out, support the waitress and the place a little better than if I drank soft drinks, enjoy a really good alcoholic beverage, have fun, but not impair myself to the point where driving would be dangerous or I act stupid and feel sick the next day.

This is, I think, where we mostly part ways though. When I first started drinking I swore an oath that if I was going to have any kind of alcohol at all, I wouldn't be driving that night. It's an overkill way of addressing life, but one that I still take seriously. As a result, I rarely drink booze when I go out, mainly preferring to just have a soda of some kind. The flip side of this is that when I do drink, it's going to be solely for the purpose of getting silly.

I will certainly concede that your reasoning makes a bit more sense now. (Except the part where you willingly choose to drink beer. Ick.)
posted by quin at 9:46 AM on December 3, 2008


Websense does not want me to know this information. For once, perhaps I should thank it. Thank you websense. Now die, websense.
posted by cairnish at 9:50 AM on December 3, 2008


I can't wrap my brain around all this parsing of Imperial to US, and Lite versus Lager. And what the heck is an alcopop? Can someone just tell me if I drink ten Canadian Clubs on the rocks instead of having dinner will I gain weight or lose weight? What if I get a shrimp cocktail at the bar, as well? And then what is the effect of having rampant sex with a cocktail waitress for three hours, versus having the bartender confiscate my keys and having to walk home two miles? This stuff matters, dammit!
posted by spacely_sprocket at 9:58 AM on December 3, 2008


what the heck is an alcopop

Like one of those hideous sweet-flavoured malt drinks, except they're not restricted to using malt alcohol so they're only mildly hideous instead of totally hideous.
posted by Artw at 10:20 AM on December 3, 2008


Am I the only one who was hoping that this thread invovled a new drinkable donut product?
posted by dellsolace at 11:00 AM on December 3, 2008


Slap*Happy: Thanks for the info! Another reason that people snack a lot while drunk (so I've heard/ IANADr) is the dehydration that comes from drinking lots. So if you start drinking a glass of water with every shot/beer/glass you won't be as ravenous later that night or hungover the next morning.

Meaning, you can get wasted EVERY NIGHT WOO-HA BIG UPS TO FUNCTIONALITY.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:02 AM on December 3, 2008


Am I the only one who was hoping that this thread invovled a new drinkable donut product?

That came out in 2004 and has a whack load of calories.
posted by gman at 11:18 AM on December 3, 2008


I immediately thought of the biggest drinking night of my life where me and a friend had a drinking contest and I had 18 p.b.r.s and we each had half a bottle of Jack Daniels. Then we challenged each other to a fight.

Apparently I consumed 3715 calories of alcohol in a single night.

Yikes.
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 11:27 AM on December 3, 2008


Also my dad had a great comment on beer and the amount of carbs and calories: "it's like drinking a loaf of bread"
posted by Lacking Subtlety at 11:28 AM on December 3, 2008


I miss Jaffa Cakes
posted by fbtucker at 11:44 AM on December 3, 2008


Good lord! It's a complete meal in a cup! I always thought that Krispy Kremes were a bit on the liquid side of solid, so I suppose it was a logical progression. On the whole, however, I will stick to delicious booze.
posted by dellsolace at 11:53 AM on December 3, 2008


Bonecrusher -

I got charts. Absent from the chart is how much acetic acid can be converted into acetyl-CoA as opposed to being simply eliminated - there's still some contention - but the notion that the human body is capable of turning a toxin into a significant energy source, as Meat Robot suggests, is unlikely.

Also, I lost 80lbs on a modified Atkins diet, while drinking jack-and-diet, gin martinis or wine on the weekends without worrying too much about it.

Look, the problem with losing weight isn't that you drink too much wine or that you have the wrong type of supplement or you eat at the wrong time of day. Most diets work as advertised - they help you to eat less. Dieting is controlled starvation.

The problem with losing weight through controlled starvation is that your endocrine system is screaming at your for food every moment of it. It's a little less intense with the Atkins diet, but there =will= come a point in your lo-carb lifestyle where that tub of Betty Crocker buttercream frosting looks damn irresistible. Will power is usually not enough. I gained most of my weight back during a period of intense personal stress compounded by a job on the night-shift.

The research now indicates that you should avoid diets and instead look to eat better, not less. Only eat food you make yourself, and that includes sauces, condiments, breads and noodles. When you go out, search for the cool little bistros instead of the chain restaurants. You'll eat less, because your body will be able to properly process the food it has, and stop bugging you for more. You'll also enjoy eating it more.

Find an enjoyable outdoor activity for each of the seasons, and spend every other day enjoying it. Flying stunt kites is exercise, as is geocaching and surf-fishing. Who knew?

Get a therapist, and work through whatever issues you had that sent you into the bag of chips for comfort.

It's slower than dieting, we're talking years to get slim, but it's also easier than dieting, and once the weight comes off, it generally stays off forever.
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:06 PM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


"it's like drinking a loaf of bread"

One of the old Irish sayings about Guiness is "it's a meal in a pint." And the BBC reported that Guinness is, officially, good for you, like the old slogan says.
posted by Miko at 12:20 PM on December 3, 2008


They drink pints over there right? We drink 12oz.
No, actually, I drink schooners. Learn to use the Internet, you insular clown. It works all round the world now.
posted by bystander at 12:47 PM on December 3, 2008 [1 favorite]


We drink 12oz.

I don't drink 12 oz, I drink pints (16 oz). 12 ounces is usually a bottled beer portion.
posted by Miko at 1:16 PM on December 3, 2008


Well now I just really want some onion Bhaji, and a beer to wash it down with.
posted by autodidact at 1:17 PM on December 3, 2008


Everyone needs something to believe. I believe I'll have another drink.
posted by owtytrof at 1:20 PM on December 3, 2008


Liquid Jaffa Cake:

1 part vanilla vodka
1 part Francelico or other hazelnut liqueur
1/2 part Cointreau or other orange liqueur

Pour gently over ice. No chocolate necessary, although you may serve this with a Flake, if you like.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:03 PM on December 3, 2008 [3 favorites]


Is it bad that I thought, 1050 calories isn't that bad. That's like two Snickers.

Part of me thinks a restrained, "Uh, no." would be a satisfactory response, but another part of me wants to copy-and-paste HA HA a few hundred times with a smattering of LOLFAILs to even it out.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:47 PM on December 3, 2008


I drank the equivalent. yet I'm still all skinny. Suck it, haters!
posted by jonmc at 7:45 PM on December 3, 2008


Alcoholism is know to cause malnutrition. (That link balances out the man boobs fatguy picture I posted upthread.)
posted by Burhanistan at 8:32 PM on December 3, 2008


I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:12 AM on December 4, 2008


This will come as no surprise to anyone who's ever woken up after a night of boozing and thought, "Oh hell, there went my Weight Watchers points for the week. Again."

Or is that just me?
posted by naoko at 8:04 AM on December 4, 2008


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