When you care enough to boycott...
January 15, 2009 2:29 PM   Subscribe

"It is against the fiber of God's Law and against all of Christianity, that a company who makes religious worship cards, religious holiday cards and Christian greeting cards, would stoop to the lowly depths and ok the Homo Sexual wedding cards. WILL NOT STAND IT!"

Hallmark's decision is also being boycotted by the American Family Association.
"We've all given or received Hallmark Cards – remember their slogan – "when you care enough to send the very best." But promoting same-sex marriage for profit is not the very best for families or our nation.

Hallmark is a private company obviously driven by greed. Let them know you do not appreciate Hallmark promoting a lifestyle which is illegal in 48 states. American Greeting Cards, Hallmark's competitor, does not offer same-sex marriage cards."
According to the AFA, Hallmark seems to be blocking the AFA's protest emails.
posted by mudpuppie (104 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Klan guys, pretty much all wedding cards are gay, we thought you knew.
posted by jonmc at 2:32 PM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


Thanks, I'll buy a couple extra to make up for the boycott. Go Hallmark.
posted by mullingitover at 2:32 PM on January 15, 2009 [5 favorites]


Hallmark is a private company obviously driven by greed.

You got a problem with that, commie?

(I'm trying to make their pointy heads explode)
posted by jonmc at 2:35 PM on January 15, 2009 [32 favorites]


Can you hear that? The change is happening. It's little steps like this that will inch us closer and closer to equality.
posted by ColdChef at 2:35 PM on January 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


9 out of 10 hateful morons hate gays.
posted by Mister_A at 2:35 PM on January 15, 2009


It's cute that AFA has a Digg badge.
posted by roll truck roll at 2:35 PM on January 15, 2009


So I'm thinking that anything actually put out on a pamphlet labeled as being from the KKK must be a sly reverse-psychology trick designed by maybe art students or something. I mean, seriously, the KKK?
posted by mr_roboto at 2:39 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


hallmark cards for everyone this year!!
posted by supermedusa at 2:39 PM on January 15, 2009


American Greeting Cards, Hallmark's competitor, does not offer same-sex marriage cards."

Hmmmmmm...
posted by jonmc at 2:39 PM on January 15, 2009


Klan guys, pretty much all wedding cards are gay, we thought you knew.

That comment is so girl wearing a skirt for a top.
posted by longsleeves at 2:39 PM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


Also: God's law has fiber?
posted by ColdChef at 2:39 PM on January 15, 2009 [5 favorites]


The $4 a pop is enough to make me want to boycott the cards. Make your own, folks! Cooler, cheaper, more thoughtful, and you can make them as gay as you like.
posted by cjorgensen at 2:39 PM on January 15, 2009 [7 favorites]


Awesome! It's about time. The fundies might boycott, but I'll be telling everyone I know to go buy some Hallmark cards.
posted by catwoman429 at 2:39 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wait. The Klan didn't call it quits on Hallmark when it started printing Kwanzaa cards? I don't like this new direction the Klan is taking. What about traditional Klan values? Me hate change!
posted by ColdChef at 2:41 PM on January 15, 2009 [23 favorites]


Why hasn't someone burned down the HQ of the AFA yet? They don't actually benefit society in any way. In fact they hurt society. Hell you want to boycott someone? Boycott whoever hosts their website. Seriously some people have no scruples.
posted by MrBobaFett at 2:41 PM on January 15, 2009


Oftentimes, when a company is targeted by hate groups, I will go out of my way to purchase their products. But I will still not be buying prefabricated sentiments.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:42 PM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


I must confess a degree of disdain for nazi-esque groups from the Illinois area.
posted by punilux at 2:42 PM on January 15, 2009 [11 favorites]


I'm going to buy stacks of these cards and use them anyway, personalize them even:

"Congratulations on getting married finally getting a driver's license!"
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:44 PM on January 15, 2009 [7 favorites]


Oftentimes, when a company is targeted by hate groups, I will go out of my way to purchase their products. But I will still not be buying prefabricated sentiments.

There goes Hallmark's nights sleep.
posted by jonmc at 2:45 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hallmark crunched the numbers and came to the not-very-surprising conclusion that they'll make more money selling cards to gays than they'll lose from some boycotting gay-haters.

Do they offer health insurance to the domestic partners of their employees? If not, let's table the kumbaya-ing.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:46 PM on January 15, 2009 [8 favorites]


I'd buy these homophobes a Sorry That You're A Bigot card, but I don't know where to get one.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:46 PM on January 15, 2009 [14 favorites]


The grammar used in the KKK statement is horrible. Who "WILL NOT STAND IT!"?

On the plus side, at least the capitalize "Homo Sexual"
posted by doctor_negative at 2:48 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


while ignoring the real menace of Hobo Sexuals.
(they like it up the bum)
posted by jonmc at 2:50 PM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


The fiber of God's law: keeping Satan regular for 6000 years!

Also:

Hellmark: When you care enough to sodomize the very best!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:51 PM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


God's law has fiber?

Dude, check out the ingredients for Oat Bran: "God's law" is like first or second on the list!
posted by scody at 2:53 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'd buy these homophobes a Sorry That You're A Bigot card, but I don't know where to get one.


If you can get one, it should have this message inside:

"Sorry that you think that your point of view is so fucking important that you have to foist your petty bullshit onto other people that just want to be happy and left the fuck alone"

just in case they don't know the word bigot.
posted by ob at 2:54 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Let them know you do not appreciate Hallmark promoting a lifestyle which is illegal in 48 states.

Last I checked, the lifestyle wasn't illegal. States just weren't recognizing these marriages...
posted by Avelwood at 2:55 PM on January 15, 2009


This fiber in God's law, what percentage of the RDA is it? And then, how big is a serving size?
posted by everichon at 2:56 PM on January 15, 2009


Or did they mean there is fiber in God Slaw? Cos, yeah!
posted by everichon at 2:57 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


This goes against the very fibber of my bean.
posted by nola at 2:58 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


The KKK took my baby shower away.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 3:00 PM on January 15, 2009 [9 favorites]


Uh-oh. And now the AFA is boycotting Campbell's Soup, McDonalds, and Pepsi. Pretty soon, God-fearing, overweight Amurrikans won't be able to eat any junk foods at all.

Is the gay agenda a plot for healthy diet and nationwide weight loss?
posted by terranova at 3:01 PM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


There's a Fruit'n'Fibre joke lurking in here somewhere.
posted by mazola at 3:01 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Joe Besse: Yes they do now (but not in 2001). Safe to start the kumbaya-ing?
posted by bclark at 3:02 PM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


Avelwood - that was my first thought, too. How many people are against gay people in general, versus gay marriage in specific? Then again, being against gay marriage may be the convenient way to be homophobic in public.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:05 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe we can give them a slightly-used Adolf Hitler Campbell cake as a consolation prize.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:08 PM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


God's law has fiber?

It passed, didn't it?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:08 PM on January 15, 2009 [28 favorites]


They seem to be pretty keen on the Mormons, maybe if Hallmark released a "Congratulations on your third wife!" card to make up for it...
posted by Avelwood at 3:10 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm just a little smitten with the idea of how the KKK would have found out about this. I'm picturing some guy after a rally, his robes still sitting in the trunk of his car, stopping quickly into a Wallgreens to pick up a card for his buddy's upcoming wedding, and getting distracted by some interracial couple on the cover of a magazine, he just grabs the first card with in the marriage row.

Then, a couple of weeks later, he friend comes to him and asks why exactly he thought that a card indicating that his wife was a man might be appropriate.

Our poor klansman is sitting there wondering why Hallmark would wrong him so, he issues a statement, a call to arms, just to ensure that no-one ever again accidentally accuses someone who dances around in white robes and follows the advice of a wizard of being gay.
posted by quin at 3:11 PM on January 15, 2009 [6 favorites]


American Greeting Cards, Hallmark's competitor, does not offer same-sex marriage cards.

I'm sure American Greeting is reveling over this endorsement.
posted by troybob at 3:14 PM on January 15, 2009


terranova - most companies can be boycotted for one reason or another. My plan? Boycott everything. (content may not make sense in this context - it was the first thing I found)

I didn't realize this was a full-blown culture war. My question: how did AFA come to possess such material? Did their hands not burn when picking up such godless filth? Did their scanner not burst into flame while trying to capture the heathen images of a "married" lesbian couple and their "son"? But what if it is all chemical, and people are just born that way? Good thing science is all about questioning and being skeptical.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:15 PM on January 15, 2009


According to the AFA, Hallmark seems to be blocking the AFA's protest emails.

Heh! I'm sure this publicity will be wonderful for Hallmark's bottom line.
posted by orange swan at 3:24 PM on January 15, 2009


My favorite thing about this FPP is that, following one of the links, I was able to happen upon what appears to be a sort-of KKK online headquarter site. And but one click away (on the frontpage, no less!) I've got the personal email address of a grand dragon.

My greatest desire for having such information is to interview said fella, since I've been doing anti-KKK material in my stand-up for years and it'd be helpful to have more... ya know, fuel for the fire.

On the other hand, the silly boy inside me just wants to use that email address to sign-up for the mailing lists of MoveOn, LGBTA, HRC, and every gay dating service and porn site I can find.

I think I'll go w/the former, cause Henry Rollins told me I should "learn about my enemy"
posted by revmitcz at 3:25 PM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


I'm going to buy stacks of these cards and use them anyway, personalize them even:

"Congratulations on getting married finally getting a driver's license!"


My boyfriend gave me the best birthday card a few years ago. On the front it had a picture of a boy in a yarmulke and said, "Congratulations on your Bar Mitzvah Birthday!" On the inside, it said, "This is a great example of what a person can accomplish through patience and hard work."

So yes, by all means, do this.
posted by bookish at 3:27 PM on January 15, 2009 [18 favorites]


now all we need is for Smith & Wesson, Colt, Winchester and other gun manufacturers to start making gay themed guns (The Colt 69! For when you don't want to fight over who shoots first!) and for someone in the KKK to realize that the word Flamer means it's too gay for them to burn any more fucking crosses.
posted by shmegegge at 3:31 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


When my girlfriend had her senior recital in college, I gave her a sympathy card that said, "So sorry happy for your loss recital."
posted by roll truck roll at 3:35 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Religions really need a better way to get people to pay attention to them. This whole anti-gay thing is getting old. Oh I know. How about this!
posted by Pseudology at 3:40 PM on January 15, 2009


Rebranding cards should not be confused with re-gifting cards. Covering up or altering an old message with a new one is seen as cheap, and usually not funny (unless the recipient is known for being cheap, and has a sense of humor about it).
posted by filthy light thief at 3:41 PM on January 15, 2009


Pseudology - they're "religious folks," not whole religions, who are boycotting in this instance. Even in the earlier story today, The Roman Catholic Church was the only religion to all-out rejected the UN declaration for gay rights. Heck, only members of the Organization of the Islamic Conference were against it - not the whole group! There's hope for them is-lams yet! And to be fair, the Roman Catholic Church opposes the death penalty and other harsh repression of gays and lesbians. Just keep away from marriage, and the Roman Catholic Church will keep away from The Gays.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:48 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


I liked gay marriage better before they sold out. Hallmark is not indie, guys. Not indie at all.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:50 PM on January 15, 2009 [4 favorites]


they're "religious folks," not whole religions, who are boycotting in this instance.

Even Catholics themselves are evenly split on the issue. But it's so much more fun to say "religions".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:57 PM on January 15, 2009


Not indie at all.

But I'm laughing all the way to the bank...
posted by troybob at 3:58 PM on January 15, 2009


But promoting same-sex marriage for profit is not the very best for families or our nation.

Promoting, or exploiting?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:59 PM on January 15, 2009


Well, this is good I guess. The mainstreaming of gay marriage, itself the epitome of mainstreaming of gay culture. Personally, I'd prefer the same rights given to straight married couples than a "Happy B-Day, My Same Sex Lover" or "Get Better, You Big Dyke/Fag! " card, but hey, it's progress...both as sacchrine and overdue as Milk.
posted by theefixedstars at 4:00 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Thanks, American Family Association... I'm sure if in-home surveillance and warrantless searches came along to "keep the kids safe" I'm sure you'd be up for that, too.
posted by crapmatic at 4:01 PM on January 15, 2009


Generally, anytime the KKK disagrees with something, I find myself reassured that I'm on the correct side of an issue.

Hallmark sells "coming out" cards, too.

Which is supportive. Weird, a little awkward. But supportive.

Thanks, Hallmark.
posted by jnaps at 4:09 PM on January 15, 2009


That is right slimepuppy, time to move on and start marrying cats and dogs.
posted by dirty lies at 4:11 PM on January 15, 2009


I think I'll go w/the former, cause Henry Rollins told me I should "learn about my enemy"

I think you'll find that Sun Tzu said that long before Henry "The Talking Bicep" Rollins was even thought of.
posted by jonmc at 4:12 PM on January 15, 2009


I'm going to send them to all my gay married friends, because I didn't get them jack for their weddings. Because there's no such thing as a generic "Congratulations for getting married" or "Have a nice wedding" card, anywhere, in the world. It's just, nobody ever thought of it. It just never occured to them.
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:12 PM on January 15, 2009


Other possible cards include:

"Enjoy your heterosexual colonoscopy, fella"

"Mum, I hope the baby comes out of your womb nicely"

"Glad your male heart attack was just a mild one you fat fuck"

"I'm leaving you you bitch, and yes that's my piss in your handbag"
posted by turgid dahlia at 4:15 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Everyone that knows me knows that I'm cheap and hateful. Greeting cards are retarded and so are homophobes; I'd rather money spent on them doesn't go to hatemongers but I love it when idiots pay a stupid tax.

If you wanna go for class, you can get embossed personalized cards for cents per card. For less than the cost of a hallmark card, you can get your entire message embossed onto a card of vastly better paper stock. Or you can avoid people who value cards like me.
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 4:16 PM on January 15, 2009


Who's this Homer Sexual guy, anyway?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 4:20 PM on January 15, 2009


Henry Rollins has said a lot of things. He's "in your face". He won't accepting slacking! He wants you to DEAL WITH REALITY. He's the thinkin' man's tough guy. Put on one of his spoken word albums if you dare, but get ready to have your MIND BLOWN and your world SHATTERED.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:22 PM on January 15, 2009 [7 favorites]


Is god's fiber better than Metamucil? Does it come unflavored b/c if it's also orange flavored it's really tired.
I already have a slogan for marketing - "God's Fiber - for a heavenly poo."
posted by hooptycritter at 4:23 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


... ok the Homo Sexual wedding cards


Homo habilis
... Homo erectus
........Homo neanderthalensis
.............Homo sapiens
..................Homo sexual
posted by terranova at 4:27 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


So is there anywhere I can get me some Klan-themed Greetings Cards? Because I'm really struggling to find something to congratulate the local Imperial Wizard on his promotion, but Hallmark just don't seem to have anything appropriate.

Typical, isn't it. They'll sell you a card that'll congratulate you on having had your first non-consensual rectal examination, but for kids who are celebrating their first cross burning, there's nothing at all...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:27 PM on January 15, 2009


Just send him a PM on his Facebook.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:29 PM on January 15, 2009


They must hate Thanksgiving. Damn Europeans, another attempt at multi-culturalizing America.
posted by woodway at 4:30 PM on January 15, 2009


Henry Rollins just needs some more fiber in his diet. That'll cheer him up.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:37 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also: God's law has fiber?

Not only that--it also prevents conception 100% below pH3. (Insert teaspoon teaspoon juicy lemon pulp, pH2.)

Dilute! Dilute!
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:44 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm imagining Henry Rollins emerging from the bathroom, red-faced and misted with sweat, wearing a look of exasperated joy. And then going to the studio to record a string of early Beatles covers.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 4:53 PM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


You know - It's remarkably easy to send a hallmark card by mail to the AFA. You can even get Hallmark to physically send a card over the net.

Plus Points:
- Hallmark gets money.
- AFA gets sent physical card declaring homo sexual agenda.
- Lazy netizen does not need to clothe self.

Everyone wins!!
posted by seanyboy at 4:55 PM on January 15, 2009 [8 favorites]


I totally wanted to buy some lesbian friends hers and hers towels or a butch/lipstick towel set, but I couldn't find any ten years ago. Maybe a powerful anti-homosexual lobby will take a hit.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:07 PM on January 15, 2009


I'm going to buy stacks of these cards and use them anyway, personalize them even:

"Congratulations on getting married finally getting a driver's license!"


'moonMan thought that all pre-made Valentine's cards were tacky and ugly, so he decided to go overboard and give me the worst card he could find. It was "Happy Birthday, Nephew." It was indeed, bad bad bad.

I thought that it was pretty funny, and I saved it.

It wasn't so funny that he taped it to the inside of the kitty litter box. Not that I can really blame the card for that, but if I could, I would.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:18 PM on January 15, 2009


UNITED NORTHERN & SOUTHERN KNIGHTS
OF THE KU KLUX KLAN

STATE OFFICE
PO BOX 24225
BELLEVILLE, ILLINOIS



Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:22 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Henry Rollins' finest moment. (Starts at about 1:10).
posted by Prospero at 5:36 PM on January 15, 2009


I find it interesting that they specify that WHITE people should be boycotting Hallmark... since if a person of color was reading the flyer, there's obviously a chance that he or she would be willing to boycott the company. When a person of color gets to the line about WHITE people boycotting, and the KKK info, though, they probably lose some potential boycotters.

So do they hate black people so much that being on the same side of a boycott would be unacceptable? When they write about hating blacks, do they specify that only straight people should hate along with them? If not, does this mean they like gays more than they do blacks?

I haven't bought a greeting card for years, but if I do, I'll buy Hallmark... that other company must hate the gays, the KKK said so.
posted by Huck500 at 5:37 PM on January 15, 2009


Well, at least now I know what to get Adolf Hitler for his fourth birthday. Thomas the Tank Engine toys.
posted by Mister_A at 6:00 PM on January 15, 2009


Oddly enough, I was shopping for a greeting card for just such an occasion last week. I ended up with a not-specifically-same-sex card because the deliberately same-sex cards were all particularly cheesy and lame. I mean, so were the not-specifically-same-sex cards, you understand, just not quite to the same level. Relatively few not-specifically-same-sex cards actually mentioned 'One Man and One Woman' or 'Bride and Groom', so I just picked one that wasn't covered in pink roses, didn't mention specific genders, and did express a sentiment about love that I could sort of get behind.

So, sure, same-sex marriage cards are a worthwhile, if not entirely necessary idea, but jesus, did they have to suck so much?
posted by jacquilynne at 6:27 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Isn't the greeting card industry largely responsible for Sweetest Day, Secretaries Day, Mothers Day and bunch of other stupid, how-could-you-not-have-sent-a-card holidays? I don't think it's overly cynical to suggest Hallmark's support for the gay community is largely driven by their desire to expand the greeting card buying community.
posted by klarck at 7:02 PM on January 15, 2009


You know, if that means that in stationary stores across America people are seeing the category Same Sex Marriage nestled among Grandmother's Birthday and Expectant Mom I am OK with that.
posted by oneirodynia at 7:16 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm personally thinking about sending a Hallmark same-sex wedding card to the following address:

UNITED NORTHERN & SOUTHERN KNIGHTS
OF THE KU KLUX KLAN

STATE OFFICE
PO BOX 24225
BELLEVILLE, ILLINOIS

I'll be sure to put some extra stickers on the envelope.
posted by sararah at 7:20 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wait. Aren't we all homo sexuals? I don't get what they're railing against.
posted by maxwelton at 7:48 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sararah - the return address could be:

American Family Association
P O Drawer 2440
Tupelo, MS 38803

I think they could be pen-pals.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:55 PM on January 15, 2009 [3 favorites]


Future AskMe: "My girlfriend likes rainbows, and I am asking her to marry me. However, the only card with rainbows on it is meant for gay people. Will she care?"
posted by parmanparman at 7:57 PM on January 15, 2009 [2 favorites]


Thank you Halmark. To show my gratitude I will send a Sweetest Day card to my big gay boyfriend.
posted by munchingzombie at 8:07 PM on January 15, 2009


Isn't the greeting card industry largely responsible for Sweetest Day, Secretaries Day, Mothers Day and bunch of other stupid, how-could-you-not-have-sent-a-card holidays? I don't think it's overly cynical to suggest Hallmark's support for the gay community is largely driven by their desire to expand the greeting card buying community.

That's how you become part of the American mainstream baby, you got some dollars? Welcome to the show, nice to see you. Capitalism is ugly as hell, but it's egalitarian across the board, the only thing it hates is broke. Gotta get in where you fit in.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:11 PM on January 15, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm going to start buying Hallmark cards now. I always go out of my way to support anything the AFA boycotts.
posted by mike3k at 8:48 PM on January 15, 2009


That's how you become part of the American mainstream baby, you got some dollars? Welcome to the show, nice to see you. Capitalism is ugly as hell, but it's egalitarian across the board, the only thing it hates is broke. Gotta get in where you fit in.

I'm still waiting for my Bar Wife's Day card, you cad.
posted by jonmc at 9:01 PM on January 15, 2009


Hallmark's benefits (including domestic partner benefits).
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 9:08 PM on January 15, 2009


I am such a bad homo. I support in an abstract sense the right of all consenting adults to enter into their own legal arrangement (we agree to become BobJane INC!) and all the benefits they get due to, due to well, weird-ass thousands old traditions that just make everything easier cause we've all agreed to accept them so whatever but I don't really want to get married but I probably will end up all civil unioned cause I really need health insurance (some long-lasting health problems that will get nasty in the future, maybe) and because my BF doesn't want his kid and ex-wife (loooong story) to get a penny, so I'm reluctantly signing the forms and thinking I should be more YAH! Civil Rights! but I'm totally ambivalent on making it all legal or standing up for anti-gay marriage cards (you need a special card to send out for your same-sexin' marriages, really?) and I just want to get on with my life withou the feeling that I'm letting down the Cause cause I'm not on the steps on the Capitol with a flag, boycotting shit.

Then again, my Uncle is on his 4th wife and my own Mom Never Married so maybe I shouldn't stress out so much.
posted by The Whelk at 9:57 PM on January 15, 2009


"American Greeting Cards, Hallmark's competitor, does not offer same-sex marriage cards."

YET
posted by cthuljew at 12:43 AM on January 16, 2009


This thread is the first I'd heard of Sweetest Day. After some (very minimal) research, I still don't really get it: you give people candy and that's it? H
posted by naoko at 12:45 AM on January 16, 2009


Wait. Aren't we all homo sexuals? I don't get what they're railing against.

Take your taxonomy elsewhere. We all start from a taxonomic stub 6000 years ago. :(
posted by cthuljew at 12:46 AM on January 16, 2009


"I'm leaving you you bitch, and yes that's my piss in your handbag"

I had no idea domestic cats were giving cards these days. How do they hold the pen to sign the card with their paws?
posted by winna at 12:51 AM on January 16, 2009 [2 favorites]


Or did they mean there is fiber in God Slaw? Cos, yeah!

Ok, MeFoodies, we need to come up with a GodSlaw recipe right quick. I'm going to propose that involves bacon—or better, French-style lardons—, fried to a crisp, with their fatty drippings whisked into the marinade somehow.

Mayonnaise? That should probably be in there

Oooh! Jell-o? Do we dare combine coleslaw with the white working woman's standby, jell-o salad? Maybe there can be marshmallows in there, too.

All I know is, the final result should have a flaming sparkler set in it.
posted by LMGM at 1:20 AM on January 16, 2009


I wish they had an international section in card shops. 2008 was the first year I remembered to buy a Mother's Day card in March (UK) without losing it by Mother's Day in June (US). Apparently 2009 marks the 250th celebration of Burns Night. It'd be nice to send a silly card from the States to a Scottish friend. Ach no, wil'na be.
posted by woodway at 5:22 AM on January 16, 2009


I only hope that Hallmark will expand this trend to all their cards, so that gays can be included in the side-splitting hilarity that is Shoebox!
posted by orme at 5:53 AM on January 16, 2009


The $4 a pop is enough to make me want to boycott the cards. Make your own, folks! Cooler, cheaper, more thoughtful, and you can make them as gay as you like.

You cannot "make" a card gay. They are born that way. Its genetic.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:00 AM on January 16, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm looking forward to the Skittles boycott when they finally find out what "Taste the rainbow" means.
posted by klangklangston at 8:04 AM on January 16, 2009 [3 favorites]


US Mother's Day is in May, not June. It's a wonder my parents still speak to me. Maybe Hallmark will sell Mother's+Mother's day cards in the future.
posted by woodway at 9:08 AM on January 16, 2009


If I find out that my child is gay, and I send him/her to a camp, does Hallmark have a card that I could send to the camp to say that we do this out of love, and here's hoping that the kid comes home free of his/her sexual brokenness. . .

That would be awesome if they had a card like that. It only seems fair. . .
posted by Danf at 10:07 AM on January 16, 2009


You cannot "make" a card gay.

You obviously have not been gluing on enough sequins.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:54 PM on January 16, 2009 [1 favorite]


You cannot "make" a card gay.

It's fun to flirt, though.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:21 PM on January 16, 2009 [2 favorites]


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