Prescription for Disaster

January 16, 2009 12:14 PM

Prescription for Disaster:The dangers of teens using prescription pain killers and other doctor-prescribed drugs.
posted by jacobw (51 comments total)

This is news?
I seem to recall "teens abusing prescription drugs" hysteria back when I was a teen. In the 70's.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:18 PM on January 16

Because the DEA is the first name you should trust when it comes to getting accurate information about drugs.
posted by Brodiggitty at 12:20 PM on January 16 [12 favorites has favorites]

Woah. Because prescription dung abuse among adults is so, so low.
posted by GuyZero at 12:22 PM on January 16

Pills are bad, m'kay?
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:22 PM on January 16

Hook me up with some of that zebra scat, GuyZero. I hear it's the SHIT.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:23 PM on January 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

Patsy: I took the labels off of all of our prescriptions so the kids won't know what they are.

Husband: Are these your pills or mine?

Voice Over: Don't be a patsy.
posted by fixedgear at 12:23 PM on January 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

Going to the DEA for drug addiction issues is like going to the NHTSA website for tips on pouring concrete.
posted by crapmatic at 12:25 PM on January 16

What?
posted by OmieWise at 12:25 PM on January 16

I'd read this but I need to go buy some aderol on the black market so that I can concentrate long enough to work on my thesis, grade my students' papers, analyse this week's five hundred pages of reading, and coordinate my environmental education team. (joke, I manage to do this all without focusers)
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 12:26 PM on January 16

Just say "no!"
posted by ericb at 12:27 PM on January 16

Wendell to the ICU, stat!
posted by Poolio at 12:27 PM on January 16

In other shocking news, teens have been discovered to be dangerous drivers.
posted by terranova at 12:28 PM on January 16

Teens: Alcohol And Other Drugs.
posted by ericb at 12:29 PM on January 16

Teens and Risky Behavior.
posted by ericb at 12:29 PM on January 16

@Thorzdad, I think this is news, but then again, I wasn't born until the 80s.

@fixedgear, Funny reference to Patsy. I just saw that PSA the other day.

@crapmatic, Definitely not intended for drug addiction issues. It's primarily a pill booklet for parents who don't know much about this issue and a corresponding website.
posted by jacobw at 12:30 PM on January 16

Teens and Pregnancy.
posted by ericb at 12:30 PM on January 16

Now that Chris Hanson and the regional FBI bureaus has saved all the children of the world from online predators, it is time to go after the bad parents. Each and every one of them.

If you're not guilty, you have nothing to worry about. Papers, please.
posted by plexi at 12:32 PM on January 16

YOUR TEENAGER IS YOUR ENEMY, BE AFRAID AMERICA, OF THE HOODLUM IN YOUR MIDST!

IT'S YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO MONITOR THEIR COMMUNICATIONS AND CONSTANTLY SEARCH THEIR ROOMS.

JUST BECAUSE YOU SMOKED POT IN HIGHSCHOOL DOSN'T MEAN YOUR KIDS WON'T TURN INTO ZOMBIE KILLERS IF THEY DO.

--

Seriously, I had no idea parents really bought into that but reading through some threads on more mainstream sites indicates that there are lot of parents who are really scared about this crap. It really goes to show the power of unchallenged government propaganda massively amplifying the appearance of a problem.

There was a thread on time.com about a woman who had apparently tried speed as a kid but was amazed that teenagers would still do drugs "given all we know now" but we don't know anything we didn't know in the 70s, what's different is the level of fear and paranoia that the government creates.

And now we get propaganda that basically tells parents they should be afraid of their own kids, and advocating all kinds of privacy invasion. It's ridiculous.
posted by delmoi at 12:36 PM on January 16 [3 favorites has favorites]

jacobw, this isn't twitter.
posted by delmoi at 12:37 PM on January 16 [5 favorites has favorites]

I read The Orton Diaries in high school, and consequently wanted to try valium. Nonplussed, the drug vendors at my Jesuit high school admonished me that good, honest marijuana was the way to go, and what did I want to fuck around with pills for, anyway?

Proffering The Orton Diaries yielded nothing.
posted by everichon at 12:38 PM on January 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

The Harper's Index this month is the gift that keeps on giving:

Percentage change since 2002 in the number of U.S. teens using illegal drugs: –9

Percentage change in the number of adults in their fifties doing so: +121

But yeah, those damn kids are out of control!
posted by mullingitover at 12:43 PM on January 16 [3 favorites has favorites]

I read James Clavell and wanted to have uninhibited and frequent sex with Asian women. And in a pinch, men.
posted by dawson at 12:44 PM on January 16

> I read The Orton Diaries in high school, and consequently wanted to try valium.

When I was in grade school I listened to a Bill Cosby cassette which included a skit about accidentally getting high on his wife's valium. Sounded like a good time.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:45 PM on January 16

It really goes to show the power of unchallenged government propaganda massively amplifying the appearance of a problem.

Nonsense; we need to give government MORE power and MORE money until all of our problems are solved for us.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:45 PM on January 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

What are you talking about? I don't need pep pills to be suspicious. If I want to comment on it, I'll comment on it. Who's going to stop me--you, pep pill boy? Pep boys pills, Beverly sills.....oh boy. Oh boy. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
posted by porn in the woods at 12:46 PM on January 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

Prescription for Disaster

I've never needed a prescription for this.
posted by terranova at 12:49 PM on January 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

How about a recipe, then?
posted by owtytrof at 12:53 PM on January 16

Do you remember the old ads in the '80s with the singing muppet pills going on about how they're not candy? Or did I just make it up?

This is serious.
We can make you delirious.
When you hmm hmm hmm hmmm
Then you hmm hmm hmm hmm
Motherfucka, we're not candy!

Anyone remember that?
posted by Mister_A at 12:54 PM on January 16 [4 favorites has favorites]

Just say "no!"

Just say "no!"
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:55 PM on January 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

OTC disaster is just as effective!
posted by Mister_A at 12:59 PM on January 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

Mister_A writes "Anyone remember that?"

You mean this? Or this?
posted by mullingitover at 1:02 PM on January 16

Not this shit again.
posted by odinsdream at 1:06 PM on January 16

jacobw, this isn't twitter.

@jacobw: this is vry serious. http://tinyurl.com/ywzp7s
3:05 PM today from web
posted by ALongDecember at 1:06 PM on January 16

Would kids turn to popping pills if they could just go down to 7-11 and get a wino to buy them an eighth? Eh, probably.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:08 PM on January 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

Flagged as

dude
posted by Dumsnill at 1:12 PM on January 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

lol. I have never seen that Drugs are Bad, mmmkay.
posted by jacobw at 1:17 PM on January 16

The experts give some reasons why teens might turn to
prescription drugs to get high:

- Escape and boredom;
- Preservation of friendships, romantic relationships, and family life;
- Competing for college admission, including competition for advanced
placement and honors courses in high school;
- The balance between schoolwork, grades, and extracurricular activities
like sports and clubs; and
- The desire to have the “ideal” physical appearance.

A few reasons they left out:

- It feels good
- Scoring your shit from Mom & Dad's medicine cabinet is cheap and convenient
- Big Pharmacy cuts your dope with a much higher grade of Drano^®
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:19 PM on January 16 [2 favorites has favorites]

I love the retro candy PSA.

I don't remember any commercials, but I remember a Mr. Yuck sticker on the main phone in my house as a kid.
posted by jacobw at 1:21 PM on January 16

Yea mullingitover, that's it (this #1).
posted by Mister_A at 1:23 PM on January 16

From the totally anecdotal evidence of who I run into the most who has serious prescription addiction problems, it's the middle-aged women. They're the ones going into serious withdrawal from their Xanax or Valium or Oxy or whatever. The teens are like, yeah, I tried a pill once... The only difference is that the older people have prescriptions for theirs (from several doctors) and take more of it more often.

I mean, I practically had to detox my mom off Xanax and Ambien and she HATES drugs or anything that makes her feel high. I think there are a lot of doctors out there who just hand out Xanax prescriptions to every middle aged woman who walks in the door and says she's stressed.
posted by threeturtles at 1:56 PM on January 16

If it keeps them off my lawn, let 'em use whatever they can get.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 1:59 PM on January 16

OMG TEENS! Things affecting teens are bad because teens are trying to break out on their own and make their own decisions but without realizing that they still need our advice and protection!
posted by Eideteker at 2:04 PM on January 16

Wendell to the ICU, stat!

Huh? What? Yeah, I recently cut down from two anti-depressants to one and I'm wondering what to do with an unneeded 60-day supply of.... uh, nevermind.
posted by wendell at 2:13 PM on January 16

A SLDPP (Single Link DEA Propaganda Post)? You know, I usually roll my eyes when people complain about the merits of FPPs, but isn't this, like, Pepsi Drug Raid At 4 AM? Pepsi Buzz Cut And Aviator Shades?
posted by DecemberBoy at 4:12 PM on January 16

Let me say that based on EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE of teenage girls, if there's one thing they LOVE, it's going to the school nurse to get ibuprofen because they're having WICKED MENSTRUAL CRAMPS. They usually like to make sure everyone knows that they're TOTALLY MENSTRUATING.

(seriously - not to be sexist - but why else would girls hide ibuprofen and trade it illicitly? It's all there in the court findings. I feel bad for the girls - let them have a little dignity for crissakes)
posted by GuyZero at 4:35 PM on January 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

It was MOTRIN when I was in school. The girls traded them like inmates with cigarettes.
posted by Eideteker at 4:51 PM on January 16

A SLDPP (Single Link DEA Propaganda Post)?

Not so much Best of the Web, more Best of the Readers Digest, 1974?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:00 PM on January 16

STRIP SEARCH THEM ALL!!!
posted by orme at 5:26 PM on January 16

If we could only imprison every person on earth then the bad, evil drug problem would be solved! Where are the funds? Is Obama on this "imprison every person on earth" project?
posted by telstar at 6:14 PM on January 16 [1 favorite has favorites]

I've heard of abuse of ibuprofen, a seemingly harmless gateway drug, and pretty soon teens are stripping to support their habit.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:45 AM on January 17

OTC disaster is just as effective!

OTC speaks of a planet disaster.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 7:09 AM on January 17