Wishful Blogging

February 3, 2009 2:44 PM

"The biggest problem with the metal bikini, was that it wasn’t metal. ——Not that metal would’ve been an improvement over what it was actually made of, which was kind of a hard plastic. Whatever it was, it didn’t adhere to one’s skin. MY skin. My young, soon to be popular, unlucky skin. SO, when I was relaxing leisurely against Jabba the Hutt’s gigantic, albiet grotesque stomach, my hard, plastic bikini bottom……….well, it had the tendency to make my now not so private privates quite public. Especially for the actor standing behind Jabba playing Bobba Fett—–I believe his name was Jeremy—–from where Bobba/Jeremy stood, so straight and tall and severe behind his mask——to put it simply and weirdly, Jeremy could see beyond my yawning, plastic bikini bottoms all the way to Florida."

- Carrie Fisher goes from writing the occasional book to daily blogging, from substance abuse to abusing punctuation
posted by crossoverman (66 comments total)

Heh. I'll have to go and rewatch that scene now.
posted by arcticwoman at 2:48 PM on February 3

I like Fisher's writing. She was snarky before snarky was hip.

I'll also just assume the misspelling of Boba Fett is some feint designed to lure readers into an impending "Move Out of Your Parents' Basements"-style jazz rant.
posted by rokusan at 2:50 PM on February 3 [4 favorites has favorites]

There's no people like show people.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:52 PM on February 3

Q: Ms. Fisher, why is "Boba" misspelled on your blog?

A: A Sith lord did it.
posted by condour75 at 2:54 PM on February 3

Excellent. I've been a fan since Postcards From the Edge. Chick is funny.

/Endolphin rush
posted by CunningLinguist at 2:55 PM on February 3 [4 favorites has favorites]

Shut up, Carrie Fisher.
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:55 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

She was a hoot as the Not-My-Job guest on the last episode of NPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.
posted by jaimev at 2:59 PM on February 3

There's no people like show people.

And there's no show like show people either.
posted by grobstein at 3:00 PM on February 3 [2 favorites has favorites]

I liked her in Star Wars.
posted by Dumsnill at 3:00 PM on February 3 [7 favorites has favorites]

Postcards from the Edge was good reading, fascinatingly human frosted with just the right bit of humor and satire for me. I have my doubts she can write the same way as a blogger, but I enjoyed that book enough I'm definitely interested to see what she writes about and how she writes about it.
posted by weston at 3:01 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

well there goes my productivity for the day.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:04 PM on February 3

Her book Wishful Drinking - which is a memoir based on a stage show she does about her life - isn't too far removed from a blog in dead-tree form. And I'm sure there will be a bit of crossover from that. But when she writes about stuff like the Milk party she had at her house - and I presume that happens to her a lot, then a blog doesn't seem like too much of a stretch for her.
posted by crossoverman at 3:05 PM on February 3

I liked her in Blues Brothers. A vulnerable performance.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:06 PM on February 3

that's true
posted by Dumsnill at 3:07 PM on February 3

I've been to a bunch of parties with super famous people and never ever can think of a way to approach them, leaving me feeling dopey and awkward. I think she just gave me a great line:

I approached Mick Jagger and said, “You won’t believe this, but someone told me that Mick Jagger is here!”
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:09 PM on February 3 [12 favorites has favorites]

Holy shit, that Milk party entry is hilarious.
posted by boo_radley at 3:13 PM on February 3

But when she writes about stuff like the Milk party she had at her house

Before I realized it was for the movie Milk, I imagined a coke party, but with milk. 1%, 2% on tap, couples making fresh soft cheese and raw motherfucking milk straight from a fucking cow in the kitchen.
posted by stavrogin at 3:13 PM on February 3 [12 favorites has favorites]

I really like her writing style. Bookmarked!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:16 PM on February 3

Lucky, lucky Jeremy....
posted by Faze at 3:16 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

I think I want to take a trip to Florida.
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 3:21 PM on February 3 [3 favorites has favorites]

I think I want to take a trip to Florida.

Florida has changed. It's not like it was 30 years ago.
posted by crossoverman at 3:23 PM on February 3 [13 favorites has favorites]

Before I realized it was for the movie Milk, I imagined a coke party, but with milk. 1%, 2% on tap, couples making fresh soft cheese and raw motherfucking milk straight from a fucking cow in the kitchen.

It was held a milk-plus mesto, and you may, O my brothers, have forgotten what these mestos were like, things changing so skorry these days and everybody very quick to forget, newspapers not being read much neither.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:24 PM on February 3 [18 favorites has favorites]

Florida has changed. It's not like it was 30 years ago.

No more hairy bush nuns!
posted by djeo at 3:31 PM on February 3

Bikinis aside, Hollywood is the mother lode of yawning plastic.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:32 PM on February 3 [2 favorites has favorites]

... I thought MetaFilter was a place one fled to escape Hollywood. Did TMZ buy the new servers?
posted by terranova at 3:38 PM on February 3

... I thought MetaFilter was a place one fled to escape Hollywood.

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:40 PM on February 3 [7 favorites has favorites]

Blazecock Pileon : I liked her in Blues Brothers.

She'll always be the Mystery Woman to me.
posted by quin at 3:40 PM on February 3

... I thought MetaFilter was a place one fled to escape Hollywood.

Do you even know who Carrie Fisher is?
posted by smackfu at 3:50 PM on February 3

HAY GUYS! Did you know that Carrie Fisher once had to play a character where she wore a bikini so tiny that it became masturbation fodder for millions of nerds? And that it was so tiny and uncomfortable her vagina would show? And that when she told people about how uncomfortable and tiny it was, those same previously masturbating nerds started discussing how they totally would not like to have sex with her vagina anymore? I just read all of it on the internet.
posted by piratebowling at 3:52 PM on February 3 [17 favorites has favorites]

... I thought MetaFilter was a place one fled to escape Hollywood.

Do you even know who Carrie Fisher is?

Yes, she introduced herself at a Westside get-together several years ago. But thanks for playing.
posted by terranova at 3:54 PM on February 3

From Wishful Drinking on the question "Did you know Star Wars was going to be a hit?" -

Yes, of course I knew. We all knew. The only one who didn't know was George Lucas. We kept it from him because we wanted to see what he face looked like when it changed expression - and he fooled us even then. He got Industrial Light and Magic to change his facial expression for him and THX sound to make the noise of a face changing expression.
posted by crossoverman at 4:02 PM on February 3 [10 favorites has favorites]

And I thought Boba Fett was cool before...
posted by Aquaman at 4:02 PM on February 3 [2 favorites has favorites]

There's just something very special about that moment when a woman, even an onscreen woman, does something to you that you don't understand and don't quite expect but that you find absolutely overwhelming and sends the testoterone racing in a way no one ever did before.

I can start to criticize her for something, but then there she is in my mind's eye cradled against Jabba the Hutt in the metal bikini and suddenly I'm a kid again and newly discovered adolescent lust is pouring over me in a way that crowds out all other thoughts. [sigh]
posted by MasonDixon at 4:02 PM on February 3

crossoverman: "The only one who didn't know was George Lucas. We kept it from him because we wanted to see what he face looked like when it changed expression - and he fooled us even then. He got Industrial Light and Magic to change his facial expression for him and THX sound to make the noise of a face changing expression."

A lot of nerds have Asperger's Syndrome.

Uh, so I've heard.

I have to go now.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:05 PM on February 3

Metafilter : You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

fixed :)
posted by liza at 4:08 PM on February 3

I was going to say that you should totally register leiasmetalbikini.com, but people are already all over that.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 4:15 PM on February 3

Florida? I don't get it.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:16 PM on February 3

Florida? I don't get it.

One possible interpretation: Fisher was in the middle of sexual reassignment surgery during the shooting of Return of the Jedi, and the submarine nearly left the port.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:20 PM on February 3

Florida is hot and humid. Louisiana would have worked, too.
posted by frecklefaerie at 4:42 PM on February 3

Florida=The deep south
posted by lee at 4:54 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

frecklefaerie: Florida is hot and humid. Louisiana would have worked, too.



INT. SET OF JABBA'S THRONE ROOM - DAY

RODNEY DANGERFIELD stumbles into frame, tripping over electric cables that snake across the studio floor. As he stands up straight, he catches sight of CARRIE FISHER in her slave-girl costume and does a double take.

RODNEY

Oh mama!

He sidles up and leans against the side of the Jabba costume.

RODNEY
(suavely)

How do you do, ma'am? I'd like to discuss a Louisiana Purchase.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:59 PM on February 3 [3 favorites has favorites]

I wonder if she'll address the whole bandaided-nipples controversy in Ep. IV.
posted by gottabefunky at 4:59 PM on February 3

From Wishful Drinking:

George: "You can't wear a bra under that dress."
Carrie: "Okay, I'll bite. Why?"
George: "Because... there's no underwear in space."
...
Now George came to my show in Berkley... and explained why you can't wear your brassiere in other galaxies... So, what happens is you go to space and become weightless... But then your body expands??? But your bra doesn't - so you get strangled by your own bra. Now I think this would make a fantastic obit.
posted by crossoverman at 5:13 PM on February 3 [2 favorites has favorites]

I think this thread's gone all the way to Florida.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 5:13 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

I wonder if she'll address the whole bandaided-nipples controversy in Ep. IV.

Not band-aids, but gaffer tape. From an article Fisher wrote for Newsweek in 1999:

I was at a surreal age, on a surreal set. It took two hours to put my bad hair on. For some reason there wasn't any lingerie in space, so I didn't wear a bra, and when there were running scenes they bound my breasts with gaffer tape. I used to say, "At the end of the day we should have an auction with the crew—whoever wins gets to rip the gaffer tape off my breasts." At one point, I made a Xerox of said breasts, and my friend Charlie, who was a production assistant, passed copies out to the crew.

My pre-teen brass bikini fantasies have now been officially supplanted.
posted by rokusan at 5:20 PM on February 3

> Do you even know who Carrie Fisher is?

Yeah, she was the one at that party who kept bumping into people and asking them about Mick Jagger.
posted by ardgedee at 5:20 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

I've been to a bunch of parties with super famous people and never ever can think of a way to approach them

It takes brass balls, but I've seen this done successfully -- you go up to the person and in one, sharp line, praise something they've done that was really, really obscure.

John Ratzenberger was at a function I attended. My friend walked up to him and said, point-blank, "Dude, you fucking stole House 2."

Ratzenberger's reaction was priceless. "Holy shit. You fucking saw that?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:29 PM on February 3 [14 favorites has favorites]

Cool Papa Bell: "you go up to the person and in one, sharp line, praise something they've done that was really, really obscure."

A friend once took me to a Los Angeles art museum opening where I saw Dan Castellaneta mingling a few yards off. I flattered myself with the thought that even if I were socially maladroit enough to ask him to "say something" in character, I would probably be the only one who asked to hear Krusty say "(groan)... That brisket's not sitting right."
posted by Joe Beese at 5:41 PM on February 3

Pretty good in The 'Burbs; got the feeling that we were seeing raw, unfiltered Fisher in Drop Dead Fred, a vastly underrated movie.
posted by adipocere at 5:50 PM on February 3

you go up to the person and in one, sharp line, praise something they've done that was really, really obscure.

Wow, so this works? Because I'm not kidding, I've had a long time fantasy of meeting Tim Robbins and saying "Holy shit! You're that guy from Tapeheads!"
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 5:53 PM on February 3 [3 favorites has favorites]

Lentrohamsanin, I can guarantee you if I ever get a chance to meet Robbins or Cusack, the first thing I will do is deadpan, "We love the Swanky Modes."
posted by lekvar at 6:39 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

I would like to point out that my Mom loved Carrie Fisher's books without knowing about all the Star Wars baggage. It explains how I raised, a bit.
posted by The Whelk at 7:05 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

Also, she was really great on 30 Rock, if that says anything.
posted by The Whelk at 7:07 PM on February 3

Also, she was really great on 30 Rock, if that says anything:

"Help me, Liz Lemon, you're my only hope!"
posted by crossoverman at 7:10 PM on February 3

Rosemary: You can’t abandon me, Liz! You are me!

Liz: Oh my god! I lost my job!
Rosemary: You’re just like me. You get up in them morning and smoke weed.
Liz: No I don’t.
Rosemary: You obsess about the Jamaican man across the hall.
posted by The Whelk at 7:19 PM on February 3 [2 favorites has favorites]

Jack: Never go with a hippie to a second location.
Liz Lemon: I can't end up like that. I've got to make money and save it. I've got to do that thing that rich people do where they turn money into *more* money. Can you teach me how to do that?
Jack: With my eyes closed.
Liz Lemon: Oh good, because I want to send Rosemary $400 a month for... forever.
Jack: You should, that woman is unemployable.
Liz Lemon: Rosemary said that women become obsolete in this business when there's no one left that wants to see them naked.
Jack: You make enough money, you can pay people to look at you naked.
posted by crossoverman at 7:34 PM on February 3

Actually my favourite thing she ever did was an interview series called "Conversations from the Edge". There's not really a good database online anywhere with all the people she interviewed, but mostly she had people over to her house to chat about their lives which eventually became a discussion about her addiction and her messed up relationship with her mother and father.

The interview with her mother, Debbie Reynolds, was a brilliant hour but the absolute highlight of the whole series was an interview with her father, Eddie Fisher - which was covered by the New York Times when it aired.
posted by crossoverman at 7:43 PM on February 3 [1 favorite has favorites]

I always liked her in this short from Amazon Women on the Moon: Reckless Youth (unfortunately the only version I could find was dubbed in spanish, but you'll get the idea)
posted by 445supermag at 8:00 PM on February 3

rokusan: "I wonder if she'll address the whole bandaided-nipples controversy in Ep. IV.

Not band-aids, but gaffer tape. From an article Fisher wrote for Newsweek in 1999:
[...]
My pre-teen brass bikini fantasies have now been officially supplanted."

...

...

I'm going to listen to some Kate Bush now.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 12:48 AM on February 4 [1 favorite has favorites]

(unfortunately the only version I could find was dubbed in spanish, but you'll get the idea)

For me the best part of that short is Paul Bartel's "Sit dowwwn, Mary Browwwn." I can't see the video from here, but I'm guessing the Spanish dub ain't got that.
posted by Spatch at 5:59 AM on February 4

I am so happy she's blogging. Girl geekgasm, and I don't even CARE about the metal bikini.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:58 AM on February 4

Oh My God. Her blog is like a rabbit hole of amazing. Gay Republican Drug Addicts, The maid from Clue, Star Wars gossip, and closeted husbands!
posted by The Whelk at 12:59 PM on February 4

Jeremy could see beyond my yawning, plastic bikini bottoms all the way to Florida.

She calls her crotch "Florida"?? Does this mean she has a penis?
posted by TreeHugger at 1:01 PM on February 4

She calls her crotch "Florida"?? Does this mean she has a penis?

Catch up - we've already discussed the possibility of sex reassignment surgery!
posted by crossoverman at 2:31 PM on February 4

Drop Dead Fred

Drop Dead Fred is like watching someone have a seizure and then punch a toddler. You can't look away, you feel sorry, and it's also kinda funny.

I know at least one girl who had a weird sexual awakening to the movie, and ended up with bad boys for a loooong time afterward.

Still, it didn't pervert as many ladies as Labyrinth did. There is a strata of 20-36 year old women who will melt into incoherent puddles at "Until the World Falls Down."
posted by The Whelk at 7:06 PM on February 4 [1 favorite has favorites]

sorry AS the world falls down
posted by The Whelk at 7:06 PM on February 4