spammen all over you

February 6, 2009 7:54 AM

overclockblocked, by Sumit Dan. short story told in speculative chippy dialect. Fucken AIbrid think he so fucking cool with he retrofleshy stylen. Like you don’t already know he dealin double-helix, not just some two-bit qubit.
posted by mwhybark (61 comments total)

I want to. I really do. But I just...can't.
posted by nosila at 8:08 AM on February 6, 2009

Crikey! That's a fierce 'un!
posted by orthogonality at 8:10 AM on February 6, 2009

I'll viddy this later.
posted by WPW at 8:11 AM on February 6, 2009 [2 favorites]

Can I get the Cliff's Notes to this? It's a little harder to understand than old English.
posted by Chan at 8:11 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

Finally, a place on the internet to read misspellings!
posted by DU at 8:13 AM on February 6, 2009 [3 favorites]

I crave eggy-weggy and steaky-wake.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:22 AM on February 6, 2009

Bunx on this. A Clockwork Orange did enough future jive that it isn't necessary to do it again. I feel that opaque patois is just a layer to cover lack of content. Anyway, something about this just projects "trying too hard." I don't want to struggle through a narrative unless there is some real kernel of something good. Style is so last century. Content is what's now.
posted by fuq at 8:22 AM on February 6, 2009 [2 favorites]

filed under Romance, Sci Fi

Oh, that explains it.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:24 AM on February 6, 2009

Also, I guess I'm further disappointed that this post wasn't about overclockedremix.
posted by fuq at 8:25 AM on February 6, 2009

Done in the 20th century, iteratively over thousands of internal monologues and hundreds of made-up lands. Let's have something actually scifi-ey (meaning, other than priggish hipster dreck) next time around.
posted by electronslave at 8:27 AM on February 6, 2009

"Next week on This American Life: Wing Commanders and Clockblockers -- tales from the geek dating scene."
posted by straight at 8:28 AM on February 6, 2009

I CAN HAZ GEEK CRED?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:29 AM on February 6, 2009

Whoa. I mean woe.
posted by Mister_A at 8:32 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

2l33t;dr
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:32 AM on February 6, 2009 [9 favorites]

The speech patterns are clearly just dressed up old jazz; what little I could bear to sample meters and thuds like Naked Lunch if Burroughs' primary influences had been Baxt, Bear, and Egan, with a molecular genetics textbook thrown in for good measure. This felix don't need to be spoonfed no transposon fulla leet-lingo, ya dig?
posted by adipocere at 8:35 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

I found a picture of the author.
posted by Mister_A at 8:38 AM on February 6, 2009

At first brush, it looked like a dorky white kid trying to use "that clever street language" in a way that only dorky white kids can accomplish.

But after the bit with the butterfly, it kind of grew on me. In the end, I like it - especially if its supposed to be slang developed by AI to communicate with one another quickly - loosely modeled on stuff the machines gleaned from urbandictionary.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:45 AM on February 6, 2009

I found a close cousin of this story in the university computer lab once, tucked under a keyboard. The top of the first page said "Honors Freshman Comp 1113"; the bottom of the last page said (in red ink) "What on earth are you trying to do?".
posted by ormondsacker at 8:46 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

*bursts into thread, huffing and wheezing*

hey! Is this the thread for shitting on some poor guy's story? It is! Sweet!

lolyourstorysux, dood.
posted by shmegegge at 8:49 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

So, it's how the borg would speak if they assimilated Ali G?
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:51 AM on February 6, 2009 [4 favorites]

Getten prehensile wit MetaFilter, hur hur hur.
posted by Vulpyne at 8:56 AM on February 6, 2009

I tried to read it, I tried to like it, I failed.
Chan is correct. It is more opaque to me than Old English. All I could think when I was trying to piece it together was "swa swa, effin' swa swa"
It might be genius; I wouldn't know. Bug me when they translate it for my limited psyche.
posted by Mizu at 8:58 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

christ, it's written in orc.
posted by boo_radley at 9:01 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

Seeing that boars face in my mynd that morning in the aulders and seeing it in my mynd now I have the same thot I had then: If you cud even jus see 1 thing clear the woal of whats in it you cud see every thing clear. But you never wil get to see the woal of any thing youre all ways in the middl of it living it or moving thru it. Never mynd.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:03 AM on February 6, 2009 [9 favorites]

Somebody's blocking my what now?
posted by Paid In Full at 9:08 AM on February 6, 2009

Potomac Avenue...um. Will you marry me? We can live with my mother!
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:20 AM on February 6, 2009

If they really wanted to do this right, they would have only used words found in Youtube comments.
posted by dunkadunc at 9:28 AM on February 6, 2009

D. Gorilla: Yes. Well wait, is she ethnic? I like ethnic food.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:33 AM on February 6, 2009

Riddley Walker is the source of the text posted by Potomac Avenue...
posted by Mister_A at 9:37 AM on February 6, 2009

Trying to read this would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-annoyance.
posted by orme at 9:45 AM on February 6, 2009

I also note that yet again no spoon is provided.
posted by motty at 9:46 AM on February 6, 2009

Behind everything, some further thing is found, forever; thus the tree behind the bird, stone beneath soil, the sun behind Urth. Behind our efforts, let there be found our efforts.

-- The Autarch, whose perspiration is the gold of his subjects.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:49 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

Potomac: Not even remotely, but there's a great Indian place right down the street from her house. Also, I make killer pasta.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:50 AM on February 6, 2009

Riddley Walker is the source of the text posted by Potomac Avenue...
posted by Mister_A

Mister_A is the ruiner of fine sport.
posted by rokusan at 9:52 AM on February 6, 2009

Done and done. I'll tell my sixteen cats they're getting a new mommy/daddy/Somnambulant_Cercopithecus. They love pasta.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:59 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

That was a fun read--rewards a few reruns. Also: Riddley Walker is a badass book.
posted by everichon at 10:08 AM on February 6, 2009

Wordy Meh
posted by Mblue at 10:14 AM on February 6, 2009

i dun googled it rokusan.
posted by Mister_A at 10:14 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is the script for "Pootytang 2," right?
posted by jbickers at 10:16 AM on February 6, 2009

I can only knock at it a bit, then retreat. The first bit's better on second read, but so self-consciously, goofily alien+dancehall.

The (English) future, I suspect, has less direct science, less latinate "proxim"s, and more polyglot loan words. I believe in Blade Runner.

And I firmly believe that if/when AI, their thoughts and dreams and goals will be entirely alien to us, so far as to be incomprehensible. Fundamentally, they'll exist as pure language—what will our metaphors from physicality be to them?
posted by klangklangston at 10:28 AM on February 6, 2009

At first brush, it looked like a dorky white kid

Hint: Mr. Dan is none of the above.
posted by mwhybark at 10:39 AM on February 6, 2009

"hey! Is this the thread for shitting on some poor guy's story? It is! Sweet!"

Dude, there is nothing wrong with masturbation. Everyone does it. No need to make fun of our smug, self-congratulatory circle jerk. We, in our monitor-lit cubes, rock, and I'm sorry if you don't get it.
posted by aapep at 10:53 AM on February 6, 2009

This is like Vicky from Little Britain got thrown into Flowers For Algernon.
posted by queensissy at 10:55 AM on February 6, 2009 [5 favorites]

hey! Is this the thread for shitting on some poor guy's story? It is! Sweet!

lolyourstorysux, dood.
posted by shmegegge at 8:49 AM on February 6

If you don't want something criticized, don't put it on the internet. It's just not a good story by any metric.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:03 AM on February 6, 2009

Jones: Morning, Squadron Leader.

Idle: What-ho, Squiffy.

Jones: How was it?

Idle: Top-hole. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.

Jones: Er, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you, Squadron Leader.

Idle: It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.

Jones: No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower.

Idle: Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.

-- MP, the RAF sketch.
posted by storybored at 11:22 AM on February 6, 2009

"If you don't want something criticized, don't put it on the internet. It's just not a good story by any metric."

Thus, this is a great way to use MetaFilter. Filling our time with things that are not worth our time.
posted by aapep at 11:23 AM on February 6, 2009

t's just not a good story by any metric.

Which metrics did you employ? I'll show you mine:

* Engaging use of language;
* Engaging structure--short, punchy, a small story with a wry ending.
* Expects the reader to keep up, rather than pre-chewing.
* Plausible-enough speculation about one cultural trajectory.

The plot is slight, and the stakes are low, but that's ok--it is an amuse-gueule of a tale. My guele was amused, in any case.
posted by everichon at 11:24 AM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

My guele (my guele, my guele)... talking 'bout my guele (my guele)

Sunshine. #@cloud fucken day. Right.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:34 AM on February 6, 2009

everichon has it. cyberpunk 2.0: revenge of the twitter.
posted by cowbellemoo at 11:40 AM on February 6, 2009

Tis neat that authors (amateur or not) are finally starting to explore the way the language of the interweb might shape our future. As people have pointed out, it seems like he's imagined a world based on a lexicon, rather than the more traditional SF vice-versa. I like it for that.

In short: Everybody's got something to hide except me and my guenon.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:42 AM on February 6, 2009

I liked the story, and didn't find it difficult to follow.

Should I be concerned?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:47 AM on February 6, 2009

Dude, there is nothing wrong with masturbation. Everyone does it. No need to make fun of our smug, self-congratulatory circle jerk.

hey, dude, i'm just over here having my own little one man jerk-a-thon over how much more smug I am.
posted by shmegegge at 11:52 AM on February 6, 2009

my smug is bigger than yours
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:53 AM on February 6, 2009

it's not the smug, it's the smugician.
posted by shmegegge at 12:20 PM on February 6, 2009

it's not the smug, it's the smugician

ah, the age-old mantra of the tiny-smugs
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:24 PM on February 6, 2009

For a moment there I thought you were talking about cocks.
posted by Mister_A at 12:29 PM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'll see your bet and raise you a SUPERCOCKBLOCKED.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:35 PM on February 6, 2009

That's a string raise. But I'm all-in anyway.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:53 PM on February 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

Which metrics did you employ?

I have only one metric for daytime Metafilter link judgment, namely: if I think "I should get back to work," it's not very good.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 3:06 PM on February 6, 2009

My guele (my guele, my guele)... talking 'bout my guele (my guele)

Quoi ma gueule ? Qu'est-ce qu'elle a ma gueule ? Quelque chose qui ne va pas ? Elle ne te revient pas ?
posted by Wolof at 12:28 AM on February 7, 2009

D'oh, I just now noticed the author's name is Sumit Dam, not Dan. My most humble apologies.
posted by mwhybark at 3:12 PM on February 7, 2009