Eat Acai, Diet Home
February 11, 2009 6:43 PM   Subscribe

Nicholle, Amy, Melanie, and Jenny are "in no way affiliated with, endorsed by or sponsored by the products reviewed , its partners, or subsidiaries."
posted by MrChowWow (66 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
These quadruplets are super awesome! I wonder if their mom had IVF and if she got public assistance!
posted by hal_c_on at 6:46 PM on February 11, 2009


Is it just me, or are they from your community / province / state as well?
posted by Lemurrhea at 6:46 PM on February 11, 2009


I'm Horace Rumpole, from Belmont, Mass. and I just ate a bowl of cookie dough ice cream! It was all Oprah's idea.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:47 PM on February 11, 2009 [3 favorites]


Weightloss companies are getting in on astroturfing? I thought at least they would hold themselves to the higher moral standard so many organizations have tossed aside.
posted by Science! at 6:47 PM on February 11, 2009 [2 favorites]


Just. Wow. How is this allowed?
posted by Stewriffic at 6:48 PM on February 11, 2009


And yes, they're from my state.
posted by Stewriffic at 6:48 PM on February 11, 2009


Stewriffic: "Just. Wow. How is this allowed?"

On the internet? Umm... No one says you have to be honest on the internet.
posted by Science! at 6:49 PM on February 11, 2009 [2 favorites]


Good Catch Lemurrhea. I didn't see that. Nicholle lives in my town!! It's a town of 600 people! You'd think I would know her.
posted by MrChowWow at 6:50 PM on February 11, 2009


Ok, ok, I know. I'm clearly wide-eyed, naive and full of wonder. But it's just so *wrong*!

I suppose what I meant was isn't there any sort of control over this kind of thing for businesses? Or is it all sorted out through class-action lawsuits later?
posted by Stewriffic at 6:54 PM on February 11, 2009


Those right there are some seriously hardcore taters, if you know what I mean.
posted by dersins at 6:55 PM on February 11, 2009 [10 favorites]


Do you? Know what I mean, I mean? 'Cause I sure as hell don't.
posted by dersins at 6:55 PM on February 11, 2009 [6 favorites]


No one says you have to be honest on the internet.

What?! Since when?

Arrgh. I unsay everything I've said on Metafilter. Except this post, of course.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 6:57 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


That is some astoundingly bad photoshopping on Nicholle's after pic.
posted by stavrogin at 6:57 PM on February 11, 2009


what
posted by fixedgear at 7:02 PM on February 11, 2009


I Lost 25lbs with these amazing products!

£25, maybe.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:04 PM on February 11, 2009 [22 favorites]


How is that allowed? Ads on TV and in print are often just as obviously fake (why no, I'm NOT thinking of Vince Offer--why do you ask?) and yet I haven't seen a decline in their popularity either. Look at the photoshopped, renamed women in any magazine diet ad, for instance. Or compare a real McWhopper to what you see on the TV screen.
posted by DU at 7:07 PM on February 11, 2009


£25, maybe.

If you're lucky. These guys love to bill you monthly (again, if you're lucky, otherwise it'll be quarterly) for bottles of berries and other pills, at costs that approach several dollars a dose. And all for a berry or pill that does nothing. If I didn't have ethics, I'd sure be getting into this business.
posted by Meagan at 7:24 PM on February 11, 2009


Acai needs a new agency. Like... now.
posted by VulcanMike at 7:25 PM on February 11, 2009


Poor little berry can't afford a real ad agency like those fancy synthetic diet chemicals can!
posted by NikitaNikita at 7:30 PM on February 11, 2009


Subby here: Am I the only one who thinks she looked just fine in the "before" picture?
posted by MrChowWow at 7:36 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Hey everyone, my name is Nicholle Stevenson from Ljubljana, 04 and I wanted to share my weight loss story with you.."

Reading these pages through Tor makes them even funnier.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:39 PM on February 11, 2009 [4 favorites]


Acai. Hmmm. Rich in nutrients, sure, but berries don't induce weight loss.

There are so many tropical fruits no one up north has heard about.

When someone comes up with a durian diet, I will be delighted, amazed, and nauseated. Come to think of it, nausea would be a good component of a good weight loss regimen...
posted by kozad at 7:42 PM on February 11, 2009 [4 favorites]


Her face becomes oddly indented in one of the "after" photos, like that of a Persian cat from incompetent breeders.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:44 PM on February 11, 2009


Hey everyone! I get all my daily snark from this one amazing product! And, you're soaking in it!

please unsubscribe me from your spam folder
posted by not_on_display at 7:45 PM on February 11, 2009


my friend show me weight loss products so i think oh nice cool i show internet also
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:47 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like this one, from Mel's comments:

"WOW! THIS SOUNDS REALLY GOOD! I WILL DEFINETELY GO TRY IT! IT COULD'T HURT TO TRY, BUT IT'LL HURT NOT TO!"
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:49 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


Gross.
posted by wowbobwow at 7:49 PM on February 11, 2009


From the comments:

"My soon to be wife absolutely loves this product. She has lost 15 pounds in the past week alone. She promised that she will be down to 130 lbs by our wedding, and guess what? She will be, easily. Thanks to this product!"

Wow. That's gotta hurt.

Course the wedding will be at the morgue.
posted by netbros at 7:50 PM on February 11, 2009


BUT IT'LL HURT NOT TO

Are they... threatening me?
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:51 PM on February 11, 2009 [2 favorites]


That thing with knowing where I live creeps me out. I guess I'm a bit innocent about the ways of websites.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:52 PM on February 11, 2009


All the pages have a photo in this sweater vest, but for some reason, on Nichole's page, they 'shopped it to pink, for some reason.
posted by paisley henosis at 7:56 PM on February 11, 2009


What do I have to change in my browser so that my location shows up as "your large intestine" ?
posted by mecran01 at 7:58 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: It couldn't hurt to try, but it'll hurt not to!
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:58 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know, I'm surprised the dietmarketingjennyamymelanienicholleacaicolon tag hasn't been used before.
posted by cashman at 7:59 PM on February 11, 2009 [2 favorites]


That thing with knowing where I live creeps me out. I guess I'm a bit innocent about the ways of websites.

Don't worry. They're working off your IP address which gives them a vague and often inaccurate idea of where you are. The municipality name you see is usually all that can be gathered this way, and even that's not too reliable - when I was in Manhattan I was told about hot single girls looking for dates in Long Island City, Queens, for example.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 8:02 PM on February 11, 2009


My coworker fell for this. I got about two minutes into trying to describe how to understand fake websites before I realized that, once again, some people shouldn't be let on the internet and I liked it better back in 1996 when it was at least moderately elitist.
posted by cobaltnine at 8:02 PM on February 11, 2009 [4 favorites]


This sort of scam has been going on forever. I remember at an old job we used to get junk faxes detailing a similar weight loss plan which always included a "personalized" handwritten note along the lines of, "Hey Sue. This is the diet plan I was telling you about the other day than Janet has already lost 24 pounds with".
posted by The Gooch at 8:13 PM on February 11, 2009


Comments have been temporarily closed due to spam.

Ha! I love it.
posted by The Gooch at 8:16 PM on February 11, 2009


Comments have been temporarily closed due to spam.

Ah the sweet sweet irony.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:17 PM on February 11, 2009


Thanks Tim.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:18 PM on February 11, 2009


Sorry the comments aren't working now. I'm trying to get them fixed!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:19 PM on February 11, 2009


Hey ladies, this may sound awkward, but HELP IVE FALLEN IN A WELL AND IM TRAPPED, ladies. Come on ladies, it's like a jacuzzi with really high walls!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:23 PM on February 11, 2009


Jesus, here's a longer list. Don't piss off the guy that runs wafflesatnoon.com.
posted by swell at 8:24 PM on February 11, 2009


That Jenny seems like such a ho, but Nicholle...rawwwrrrr.
posted by logicpunk at 8:32 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


Heh. Here's the whole (for now) Fake Diet Girls Photo Album.
posted by yhbc at 8:37 PM on February 11, 2009


Oh those girls! I see them every time I log onto Facebook. Same pictures and probably linked to one of the sites listed on wafflesatnoon (psst swell, that link needs tweaking).
posted by jokeefe at 9:03 PM on February 11, 2009


I liked Amy but holy-hoo Nicholle seems like a real bitch.
posted by mazola at 9:03 PM on February 11, 2009


Ah, gotta love IP geolocation. It consistently tells me of all the people I could meet in a small township (pop. ~1500) around 50 minutes west of the city (pop. ~1.5 million) I actually live in.

I never knew there were so many hot moms, horny schoolgirls, or weight loss success stories in Lowood...
posted by Pinback at 9:22 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


I can't believe that this colon cleanse stuff still gets pawned off. I'm very surprised that google results don't have anything like this at the top. I've never seen a search so ridiculously full of commercialized results.
posted by niles at 9:29 PM on February 11, 2009


Hey everyone, my name is Nicholle Stevenson from Kronach, 02

In trying to figure out where Kronach is, I learned about the Women of Kronach. Thank you, weird diet scam website, for slightly enriching my day.
posted by cmonkey at 9:35 PM on February 11, 2009 [1 favorite]


This diet obviously isn't meant for me... Nicholle Stevenson from London, H9 couldn't possibly have something to tell me anything about dieting... I'm in Wakefield, WF1!

My ISP is based in Rochdale, which is north/east of Manchester... how are they pulling the location? Can't be based on IP addresses, otherwise I'd get Leeds or Rochdale.

Does this "I'm in your town too" marketing actually work?
posted by Grrlscout at 10:45 PM on February 11, 2009


How are they pulling the location? Can't be based on IP addresses

IP block (upstream) usually, or they're using a paid-lookup database. Pretty imprecise science no matter what. Heck, even when I'm NOT using TOR, I spend half my time surfing through a proxy in my office, which is in a different state/country than I'm usually in.
posted by rokusan at 11:34 PM on February 11, 2009


This diet obviously isn't meant for me...

Or me. I'm in Bradford, which it agreess with, but then gives me a Birmingham postcode.

It was so convincing too.
posted by vbfg at 1:01 AM on February 12, 2009


Oh man, the special offer expires tomorrow. I'd better get in quick.
posted by Duke999R at 1:52 AM on February 12, 2009


Warning: ingestion of Acai Berries can lead to multiple personality disorder.
posted by _dario at 2:18 AM on February 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


IP geolocation is screwy for me too. Nicholle is about 100km away in a newly-numbered (huh?) metropolis. But when I stream tv, all the h0tt13zzzz are in a town about 100km in the other direction, which I know for its large prison rather than the population sharing my affection for Gossip Girl. The hey-baby IMs are coming from inside the Big House!
posted by carbide at 2:34 AM on February 12, 2009


Heh, the IP thing is funny. »Nicholle Stevenson from Stockholm, 26« it says, but the offer isn't even available to people living in Sweden.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 4:24 AM on February 12, 2009


Wait a minute, I'm sensing a common thread among the women listed on the waffles link. I think I might have discovered the true secret to weight loss! Apparently I just need to change my last name to Conrad, and the pounds will melt away.
posted by spinturtle at 6:20 AM on February 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


It may not even be a photo-retouching thing on the before and after pics --

I wish I could find the blog that mentioned this, but a woman reposted a "help wanted" ad she'd found on her local Craigslist. They were seeking models for a diet-aid ad project, and they wanted really good-looking, trim models -- who were willing to then gain about 30 pounds over the course of the next few months. They'd be taking the "after" pictures before the "before" pictures, was the point.

Could be as simple as that.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:04 AM on February 12, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sometimes the simplest scheme is the best.
posted by Spatch at 7:59 AM on February 12, 2009


It's not just diet aids.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:08 AM on February 12, 2009


She's not from my town, but she is from the town where our corporate proxy server is located. Wonder if they know each other.
posted by evilgenius at 10:14 AM on February 12, 2009


Another common weight loss before-after scheme is to find natural athletes who have suffered an injury and have not been training for some time. They take the before picture, then the athlete resumes their normal training regimen. Genetics kick in, and pow, you take the after picture.

No lies, no shoops.
posted by evilgenius at 10:16 AM on February 12, 2009


I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the Everywhere Girl yet (with backstory even!)
posted by Rhomboid at 11:41 AM on February 12, 2009


The Acai craze is an attempt to capitalize on the popular notions that "The Amazon Has A Cure For Everything" and "Berries R Good 4 U OK Cuzza Antioxidants."

Both are mostly bullshit to begin with; when it comes to Acai, the bullshit is absolute.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:21 PM on February 12, 2009


Crap the declaimer lets cat out of the bag...

Disclaimer

This page and associated pages are an advertisement. The statements contained herein come from many different people and are not necessarily being made about this specific product.

Certain advertisers may charge a renewal fee for their products if consumer does not cancel their trial after a specified number of days. Please check terms and conditions on the pages of advertised products.

http://nichollesweightloss.com/story/disclaimer.php
posted by benk at 2:34 PM on February 12, 2009


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