You: Most have been very short.QFT LOL
You: And I've mostly talked with these strangers about talking with these strangers.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:49 PM on March 30, 2009 [7 favorites]
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: .
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Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: what are you?You have disconnected.
You: Hello, there.
Stranger: hi
You: a person in San Francisco.
Stranger: awesome
You: What is your biggest secret?
Stranger: i like amputee porn :(
You: I've looked at ampuporn
Stranger: do you like it?
You: Some is of lurkers following amps on the street, and they don't know they are being followed.
Stranger: oh cool
Stranger: have you ever spuffed on a stump?
You: I think all fetishes are of interest as to how people are
You: spuffed?
Stranger: i think that too
Stranger: yes, spuffed.
You: okay...what is spuffing?
You: what I think it is?
Stranger: what do you think spuffing is?
You: something that I am physicall unable to do.
You: (physically)
Stranger: oh no. re you injured?
You: if you call female "injured"
Stranger: haha no. where do you live?
You: I do have a spinal injury...years of operations...and pain...but it doesn't show enough to invoke anyone's spuffage.
Stranger: oh, ok thank you for the honesty
You: Four blocks from Union Square in San Francisco. U?
Stranger: wow, thats very specific
You: Not enough to Google Earth my apt bldg though.
Stranger: dont worry i'm not gonna spend a grand on a plane ticket just to stalk you
You: lol
You: and u?
Stranger: i live in England
You: Ah...north...south...?
Stranger: East
Stranger: :)
You: :*)
You: Someone from the Commonwealth
Stranger: How old are you mystery female from San Francisco?
You: I just had my birthday on the 18th...meh...over (gasp) 50.
Stranger: wow, you type like a much younger person
Stranger: :)
You: I work as a partner in an information security consulting firm...forever young, etc...we just roll like dat.
Stranger: tee hee
Stranger: guess how old i am...
Stranger: you have three guesses
You: 22
Stranger: No.
You: Did that age insult you?
Stranger: Yes.
You: That's a good hint. So is the "tee hee"...let's see...
You: okay...
You: 14
Stranger: Wow. That age insulted me more.....
You: More or less insulted?
You: Then...42
Stranger: ooh too bad, you lose. I am 27 :)
You: On the Internet no one can guess your age.
Stranger: but isn't it fun guessing!
You: Unless you reference seeing a particular historical event making it ez. Yes...it is interesting. I always win a prize at carnival at the "Guess Your Age" booth.
You: Need to see if that's still true.
Stranger: I do too!! but we rarely have carnivals where i live. such a shame.
You: Whut do u do?
You: Need moar carnivals....
Stranger: indeedo we do.
Stranger: guess what i do?...........
You: Information technology?
Stranger: god you're good
You: (blush) nah...I was just playing the odds on this service's likely population
Stranger: you are very clever. yep yep
Stranger: so...
You: so...when one of us clicks "Disconnect" we'll never speak to each other again, eh?
Stranger: i guess so. thats sad :(
You: The Buddhists would understand....things are fleeting
Stranger: thats too clever for me, sorry
You: nature of universe, and so on
Stranger: so true
Stranger: still
You: Have a very good night...and an ever increasingly good life.
Stranger: you too, i mean that :) god bless x
You: Goodbye...forever old pal.
Stranger: tara
You: :*) you too
Stranger: If you are the type who eats out regularly, one day a stranger might join you at the table. This stranger will always appear to be of your age and sex, and he (if it is a he) will only appear if you are alone. No matter what style of restaurant it is, he will always be carrying his own plate of food.posted by Lush at 9:56 PM on March 30, 2009 [6 favorites]
After a few seconds, he will look directly at you and say, “You seem like an interesting person. May I know you better?” Say yes, and he will begin to ask you questions about yourself in between bites. These questions will be innocuous enough at first: what your name is, what you do for a living, and so forth, but should you open your mouth to answer, you will be forced to tell the truth, even if you do not consciously know what the truth is. Remain silent, and the stranger will scowl at you, pick up his plate, and leave. You will never see him again. If you do indulge his questions, however, they will grow darker and darker as the food leaves his plate, and it will become harder and harder to resist answering. Do not attempt to leave the table before he does under any circumstances.
When his plate is clean, he will stand up to leave, but not before asking you one last, irresistible question: “What would drive you to take your own life?” You will instantly be aware that you will be able to lie in response to this one question, and I suggest you do, for whatever you describe will come to pass within the week. Those who are canny may use this chat to gain whatever they desire, but know that if the happenstance you name does not drive you to suicide, the stranger will start guessing as to what will. And consider how much he now knows about you.
NOTICE TO CHATTER: In accordance with the Terms of Service you have accepted to use this chat client, this conversation has been monitored and recorded by the Child Internet Service Protection Agency, as licensed by the Child Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA).WTF?
You are receiving this notice due to a potential violation of US law. Your IP address has been recorded and sent to the Child Online Pirvacy Protection Act (COPPA), who will review the chat log and request all available contact information from your Internet Service Provider, and will pursue a criminal investigation if necessary. If you believe this chat session was logged in error, please contact the Child Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) within 24 hours and quote the reference number #2334531-0343.
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
"don't be boring. DON'T DO IT"
"Bonjour. Too slow loser."
"How's it going"
"Fight me"
"CRSX?"
"are you a guy"
"helloooooooooooooooooooooooo is it meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you're looking fooooooooooooor"
"wasssssup"
"hi"
So, in case you are curious but lazy, there you have it.
posted by mikepop at 1:16 PM on March 30, 2009 [5 favorites]