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Omegle - like a slot machine, only with people
March 30, 2009 1:10 PM   Subscribe

Talk to strangers! "When you use Omegle, we pick another user at random and let you have a one-on-one chat with each other." [via waxy]
posted by Lush (147 comments total) 59 users marked this as a favorite

 
I tried connecting to this a few times via AIM earlier this morning (about 400 online, looks like 1303 currently). Here are the first lines from each random person I connected to:

"don't be boring. DON'T DO IT"

"Bonjour. Too slow loser."

"How's it going"

"Fight me"

"CRSX?"

"are you a guy"

"helloooooooooooooooooooooooo is it meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you're looking fooooooooooooor"

"wasssssup"

"hi"

So, in case you are curious but lazy, there you have it.
posted by mikepop at 1:16 PM on March 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


i managed to insult 5 different random strangers all in a very short amount of time. this is great!
posted by cazoo at 1:18 PM on March 30, 2009


Stranger: wsup
Stranger: hey
You: Hi. Do you think this is really a good idea?
Stranger: stfu i don't wanna hear about your ideas faggot
Stranger: we're not cybering pedo
You: Heh, I figured. Thanks.
Stranger: i'm just trying to kill time in economics
Stranger: what's up with you
You: Wanted to know what the hell this thing was.
You: Now I know.
You: Later.
Stranger: wtf
Stranger: dont leave me
posted by cimbrog at 1:19 PM on March 30, 2009 [60 favorites]


Stranger: hello
You: Hey you.
You: what's going on in your part of the world?
Stranger: crimewatch, lol
Stranger: you?
You: I'm a bot.
Stranger: asl?
posted by Bernt Pancreas at 1:25 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


The internet summed up perfectly for me.

Stranger: stfu i don't wanna hear about your ideas faggot
You: Wanted to know what the hell this thing was.
You: Now I know.
Stranger: dont leave me


That's art right there.
posted by M Edward at 1:27 PM on March 30, 2009 [28 favorites]


Wasn't there a bot that was doing this automatically, a while back? Had a name that was fish-related? Salmon, maybe?

Hasn't happened in a while but for a few months I was getting a message at least once a day that would appear to be from someone, but when I'd start talking to them would be someone else as confused as I was, who themselves received a message and hadn't initiated the conversation. It led to hilarity a couple of times and strange insults a few more.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:27 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


...

You: hi
Stranger: i love your dads cock in my ass
You: awesome
Stranger: he is so hard tonight
You: he would be. he's been dead for 30 years
Stranger: yea yea
posted by metaxa at 1:28 PM on March 30, 2009 [11 favorites]


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: sup
Stranger: oooooooooooooooooooh YEA!
You: kool aid man?
Stranger: oooooooooooooooh YEA!
posted by lazaruslong at 1:28 PM on March 30, 2009 [10 favorites]


You: sup
Stranger: the sky
You: while that's literally true, i don't think the most appropriate answer given the context
Stranger: oh go write a book
You: okay brb
posted by lazaruslong at 1:29 PM on March 30, 2009 [35 favorites]


this is really fun
posted by lazaruslong at 1:29 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Looks like someone is out to prove the Greater Internet Dickwad Theory.
posted by borkencode at 1:29 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe it's Randy "Macho Man" Savage, lazaruslong.
posted by Bernt Pancreas at 1:29 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


This is really fun at first but either people can't handle me or I'm a horrible conversation partner. But oh look! There's another stranger who wants to chat!
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 1:32 PM on March 30, 2009


This reminds me of IMVU, a 3D chat program that randomly matches you with avatars that look like bratz dolls, and usually turn out to be 14 year old boys trying to cyber.
posted by Phalene at 1:32 PM on March 30, 2009


for reference, re: borkencode's comment.
posted by lazaruslong at 1:33 PM on March 30, 2009


Will this go away if someone gives the creator a job?
posted by cimbrog at 1:33 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 335d
You: Hello!
You: 335d? What's that?
You: Is it a really huge D&D die?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Oh man, this is just like going on a blind date.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:35 PM on March 30, 2009 [17 favorites]


Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can.

I don't see the difference here.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 1:37 PM on March 30, 2009


Also, it occurs to me that the comments (mine included) here are resembling something off of /b/.
Not that I would know anything about that.
posted by cimbrog at 1:38 PM on March 30, 2009


Stranger: hi
You: Sup
Stranger: not much, you?
You: Not much, running out the clock on this work day, 26 minutes
You: you?
Stranger: not a lot, playing som civ 4
You: good game
Stranger: yea it is
You: I'm totally addicted to WoW and TF2 right now though
You: No time for others
Stranger: horde or alliance?
You: horde
Stranger: I have nothing left to say to you. Good day, sir. (alliance)


You know what's kind of a weird feeling? Connect to talk to someone, get some basic small talk going, and then just leave.

I never, ever can bring myself to do this in person, or on forums where I am known. But it's sort of empowering! I mean, this is a random stranger, I will never know who they are, and we are not really interacting in a meaningful manner. But when I leave the chat in the middle, it feels assertive somehow and new.

That was a fun 15 minutes, thanks so much for this post.
posted by lazaruslong at 1:38 PM on March 30, 2009 [4 favorites]



Maybe it's Randy "Macho Man" Savage, lazaruslong.
posted by Bernt Pancreas at 4:29 PM on March 30


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi!
You: Hi, is this Randy "Macho Man" Savage? I love him.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm not sure if that's a yes or a no.
posted by Aversion Therapy at 1:40 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


I got a bot, twice. The second one may have been based on Xhibit.
posted by condour75 at 1:40 PM on March 30, 2009


Stranger: :)
You: howdy
Stranger: i'm robin hood
Stranger: the internet robin hod
You: lil john, here. where you at?
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger: L.A
You: oh yeah? i wish i was in la. toronto for me
You: you in film?
Stranger: yep
Stranger: how do you know
You: yer in la. :)
You: what do you do?
Stranger: I eat niggers. what do you do?
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 1:46 PM on March 30, 2009


"This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated."
posted by Joe Beese at 1:46 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Stranger: perkele ootko suomesta?
You: no thanks, I just ate
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by rmless at 1:47 PM on March 30, 2009



Stranger: hi
You: hi. do you like beer?
Stranger: love it
You: me too
Stranger: nice one
Stranger: where u from
You: i like ale even more
You: New Haven, CT
You: you?
Stranger: im not so keen on ale
Stranger: scotland
You: ach!
You: lovely place
You: i've been to aberdeen and glasgow
Stranger: im in glasgow
You: great. how's the weather there?
Stranger: excuse my ignorance, which state is CT?
You: Connecticut
Stranger: weather is actually taken a turn for the better this week
You: spring is starting here
Stranger: i just found this website 10 mins ago, u seem very intelligent for it
You: ha!
Stranger: lol
Stranger: whats ur name
You: i saw it on MetaFilter
Stranger: saw it on a link on a car forum
You: name's brian ... you?
Stranger: andy
Stranger: so what would u be doin in aberdeen
Stranger: harldy a tourist hot spot
You: oil bidniss
You: and my brother went to U Glasgow
Stranger: thought as much
Stranger: what age r u
You: 46
You: u?
Stranger: 30
You: are u in an occupation?
Stranger: yes, a cad technician
You: SolidWorks?
Stranger: u?
Stranger: no, autocad
You: marketing hi-tech oilfield equipt
Stranger: you'l be loaded then haha
You: oil's been a little iffy lately
You: we took a pay cut
Stranger: isnt everywhere
You: and had a layoff
You: yup
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: anyways, im on here to escapre the recession
Stranger: gtake care buddy
You: bye!

posted by ZenMasterThis at 1:48 PM on March 30, 2009 [7 favorites]


I think I just convinced a stranger to drop out of college and become a bum. This site has TONS of potential.
posted by bondcliff at 1:49 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Talked to four people. Two of them were aspiring singer/songwriting guitar players.

This confirms something I've always suspected.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:50 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Great conversation about Liverpool football club and cars with a guy in Baghdad. It ended like this:

Stranger: i am into nissans
Stranger: but im gonna go take a shit
Stranger: take care

So worth it!
posted by therubettes at 1:51 PM on March 30, 2009


Ooh, sounds awkward!
posted by Mister_A at 1:53 PM on March 30, 2009


I suspect this is mostly populated by teenage boys who aren't currently playing Counter Strike. The only reason he didn't call me "gay" was because he suspected I was a woman:


Stranger: asdf
You: Hi, this is Judy from Time/Life how can I help you today?
Stranger: i want to cancel my subscription
Stranger: you whore
You: I'm sorry, sir and/or maam, you cannot do that.
Stranger: Judy you're being a cunt again
You: And, while technically you can call me a whore, you really shouldn't.
You: Or a cunt. I certainly don't appreciate it. You should wash your mouth out with soap.
Stranger: k
Stranger: sorry
You: Apology accepted. Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Stranger: a blowjob maybe?
You: While it's obvious there is a dire need for one in your life, I'm afraid I can't help there either.
Stranger: why not
You: Well, sir, not only are we separated physically, but I suspect you have a minuscule penis.
Stranger: so?
You: So? So what? If you can think of a way where I can actually perform fellatio on you, I'll do it. I won't like it, but I'll do it.
Stranger: i put my miniscule penis in your mouth
You: But I suspect there's no way. Hence, the huge risk I'm taking.
Stranger: WELL FUCK YOU THEN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by bondcliff at 1:58 PM on March 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


Not as bad as I thought it would be... roll your dice.
posted by Binliner at 2:00 PM on March 30, 2009


Stranger: hi
You: Are you there?
You: I'm you from the future.
Stranger: How did you know?
You: I would warn you of impending doom, but you lead a really boring life for the next couple of years.
Stranger: I am from the year 2015
You: You never really amount to anything.
Stranger: My name is Marty Mcfly
You: No, no, I'm from the far future.
You: Where hoverboards DO work on water.
Stranger: THEY DO????
Stranger: Take me with you
You: I can't take you back to the future.
Stranger: Not even at 88MPH?
You: Not without Huey Lewis.
Stranger: With or without The News?
You: Normally people disconnect by now.
Stranger: They are weak. They are from the past.
You: Zombie huey lewis is just as good.
You: We ought to send robots back to kill everyone's mother.
Stranger: Yes. I heard there was this guy called John Connor.
You: In the far future, we give the robots John Connor and they leave us alone.
You: It was really obvious, in hindsight.
Stranger: I never saw that.
Stranger: I was just really happy with my hover board
You: Still no jet packs.
You: Or flying cars.
Stranger: Doc is working on it
You: how many gigawatts do you guys have?
Stranger: 1.20
Stranger: just 0.01 left
You: holy shit!
You: 1.21 gigawatts!?
Stranger: Amazing isn't it?
You: 1.21 GIGAWATTS?!?!
Stranger: 1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!
You: UNO DOS UNO HEEEGAWATTOS?!?!
Stranger: SI
You: oh, ok.
Stranger: The flux capacitor is acting up though.
You: It's really just a coat hanger, ya'know.
Stranger: Thats what people have been trying to tell me. I still have faith in Doc.
You: ok, I'm going to get back to the future. we have eloi to rustle.
Stranger: Godspeed to you good sir.
You have disconnected.
posted by stavrogin at 2:01 PM on March 30, 2009 [41 favorites]


This reminds me of a delightfully mischievous little game called Cheer Up the ChatBot, by rrrrthats5rs.com.

It poses as a simple chatbot program in which you have to (duh) cheer up the machine. The trick is, after a short time your connection to the chatbot is replaced by a connection to someone else playing the game at the same time. This happens randomly as long as you play -- you never know who or what you're talking to, or when the swap occurs. This makes for a bizarre and schizophrenic experience, as you try to deal with an incoherent, amorphous conversational partner.

Especially interesting is the fact that the game is not up-front about this mechanic, so many of the people playing are unaware of what's really going on. It's fun, in a way, to try to imitate the chatbot, just to see what kinds of things people say when they think they're talking to a machine.
posted by Rhaomi at 2:07 PM on March 30, 2009 [10 favorites]


the best is acting normal then saying something horribly offensive, to see the other person's reaction:

You: :)
Stranger: howdy
You: i'm robin hood
You: the internet robin hod
Stranger: lil john, here. where you at?
You: hmmm
You: L.A
Stranger: oh yeah? i wish i was in la. toronto for me
Stranger: you in film?
You: yep
You: how do you know
Stranger: yer in la. :)
Stranger: what do you do?
You: I eat niggers. what do you do?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by jermsplan at 2:09 PM on March 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


strangers are creepy
posted by joelf at 2:11 PM on March 30, 2009


I wonder how many of you have been having conversations with each other through this thing unknowingly... Identify your fellows!
posted by nerhael at 2:12 PM on March 30, 2009


You Should See The Other Guy and jermsplan were talking to each other?
posted by Lush at 2:14 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Send feedback to Omegle (or a job offer to its founder)

I wonder if the guy who made the website is using it to look for job opportunities. 5 minute speed-networking with internet-savvy strangers? Not a bad idea.
posted by naju at 2:17 PM on March 30, 2009


I'm having a blast with this thing. I wonder how many folks I'm chatting with are from MeFi.
posted by sciurus at 2:20 PM on March 30, 2009


Wasn't there a bot that was doing this automatically, a while back? Had a name that was fish-related? Salmon, maybe?

I made a front-page post about it here.
posted by Mo Nickels at 2:30 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Stranger: ello
Stranger: how goes it?!
You: Welcome to Omegle!
Stranger: thanks!!
You: If you'd like to chat with a different stranger, please type 1! If you'd rather continue chatting with me, don't type anything
Stranger: 8
You: Buenos dias!
You: Bienvenidos a Omegle!
Stranger: g'day mate
You: Si quieres hablar con otra persona, please type 1! Si prefieres hablar conmigo, don't type anything.
You: (my spanish is lacking)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by theiconoclast31 at 2:31 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


needs keybinds
posted by M Edward at 2:33 PM on March 30, 2009


You: Ahoy there!
Stranger: Um... Is this thing on?
You: It appears to be.
You: Weird, huh?
Stranger: Are you on a boat?
You: Nope. I'm not on a raft either.
You: Are you in an airplane?
Stranger: No, but the food is bad
You: Ummmm....hospital?
You: School cafeteria?
You: PF Chang's?
Stranger: Now I know... This service is useless...


Gawd I love this. Also, stavrogin's conversation was amazing.
posted by nosila at 2:33 PM on March 30, 2009


*fondly thinks of ICQ back in the day*
posted by cthuljew at 2:36 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]



Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: i eat ass
Stranger: nohomo
You: men or women?
Stranger: animal
You: never tried it ... must be kinda gamey
Stranger: it's awesome
Stranger: u should try it
You: big animals or small? wild or domesticated
You: the mind boggles
Stranger: i prefer wild
Stranger: elephants
You: you use a stepladder?
You: or stilts?
Stranger: i use a stepladder
Stranger: custom made
You: FAIL
You: too bulky
You: stilts is where it's at
Stranger: no stilts are gay
You: not only provide enhanced stature and far-seeing, but SPEED too
You: think about it
Stranger: i eat elephant ass, im not some homosexual gross
You: so you're telling me you go running around the African bush, looking for elephants, lugging a fucking stepladder?
You: you're insane
Stranger: yeah done that once, i practice at zoo's
You: but you prefer wild, right?
Stranger: yes
You: so, get some stilts
Stranger: i do
You: the kind that painters & deocrators use
Stranger: no man, only gay elephant ass eaters use those
You: you seem worried about the strangest things
Stranger: yeah
You: maybe you should suck a dick or two, help you relax

posted by kcds at 2:39 PM on March 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


Talk to strangers!

mmmmmm no. Don't think I will.
posted by everichon at 2:44 PM on March 30, 2009


this is, like, new?

some of us remember irc....

some of you will have a new, addictive, and eventually enlightening non-experience...
posted by HuronBob at 2:47 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


You: Ahoy!
Stranger: whats the best porn
You: www.lemonparty.com
You: it is so hot
posted by harperpitt at 2:48 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: yo yo yo
Stranger: bo bob o
You: this is vanilla ice
Stranger: hell mr ice
You: im just coolin'
Stranger: im walls icecrem
You: right on
Stranger: right off
You: hard on
Stranger: limp
Stranger: dam it
You: soft on
You: do u rememember my hit Ice Ice Baby?!?
Stranger: soft cream, that will be u if u get hot
Stranger: yher i do
Stranger: u so cool
You: vanilla wafer is my brother
Stranger: i wana have ur babies
Stranger: take me know in the brown wafer
Stranger: choco nut
posted by porn in the woods at 2:50 PM on March 30, 2009


Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: greeings comrade
You: Have you used this site a lot yet?
Stranger: no
Stranger: why?
You: Just trying to get a picture of how often the average user has used this, out of curiosity. I think this is about my sixth.
Stranger: i have 3 a day
Stranger: sometimes 4
Stranger: six is a lot
You: Most have been very short.
You: And I've mostly talked with these strangers about talking with these strangers.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by Anything at 2:56 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: Im gay
You: nice to hear it.
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: homophobe?
You: i'm looking for someone to kill someone for me. i'll kill someone for you in exchange.
You: because we don't know each other, we'll never get caught!
Stranger: yes
Stranger: :)
You: what do you say?

then they disconnected. drat! back to the drawing board!
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 2:56 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Upon further inspection, this is bizarre and wonderful.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 2:57 PM on March 30, 2009


I will probably end up talking about something I never would've talked about otherwise. This site seems wonderful.
posted by Anything at 3:00 PM on March 30, 2009


You: So.
You: It comes down to this huh?
Stranger: So.
Stranger: I guess it does.
You: This is how its going to end?
Stranger: Only one way to find out. Do it.
You: After all we've been through?
Stranger: Just do it, damnit.
You: 3 kids
You: 24 years of marriage
You: and you want a divorce
Stranger: Dont make this harder than it already is
Stranger: I just don't see where we were going
You: the least you could have done was to call me on the phone
You: love doesnt _GO_ anywhere
Stranger: I just didn't want to hurt you..
You: oh well great
You: mission accomplished
You: you've always been such a coward
Stranger: Please don't do this to me
You: YOU are doing this
You: YOU ARE
Stranger: I've said you can have full custody!!
Stranger: What more do you want?
You: what do I want?
You: i want my life back
You: i want to hear you breath in my ear at night
Stranger: You can't force yourself to love someone, you should know this after Steve
You: Steve?
You: wait is this Sandra?
Stranger: Sandra?
You: Ooops
You: wrong window
Stranger: FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuu
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:00 PM on March 30, 2009 [55 favorites]


Oh. HA. hahahahahahahAHAHhaha. Oh god it hurts. This is COMEDY GOLD.

UNO DOS UNO HEEEGAWATTOS?!?!
posted by Stunt at 3:01 PM on March 30, 2009


I tried to do a funny one, and connected to someone else that found it on metafilter...now what?
posted by HuronBob at 3:04 PM on March 30, 2009


I can't find anybody on this thing that isn't from 4chan.
posted by burnmp3s at 3:04 PM on March 30, 2009


Stranger: hi, it's todd
You: Welcome to Moviefone!
You: For current listings, please enter your zip code, or your location in the following format (city, state).
Stranger: Kansas City, MO
Stranger: Hurry up!
You: في نشىسشس سهؤفغ ةهسخعقهو غخع ؤشى سسث ش ةخرهثز
Stranger: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER!
posted by The White Hat at 3:04 PM on March 30, 2009 [7 favorites]


You: hi
Stranger: hey guess whut!
You: what?
Stranger: 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307\
816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359\
408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128\
475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273\


Your conversational partner has disconnected.


It went on for about 10200 more numbers.
posted by lilkeith07 at 3:05 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


You Should See The Other Guy and jermsplan were talking to each other?

Nope. I ain't buying it.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 3:09 PM on March 30, 2009


You know, my mother told me never to talk to strangers.

I think this is one time I may take her advice.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:11 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


/b/tards... as far as the eye can see. It's just too much for one man to handle. I'll stay in the land where I know people until their love of this dies down.
posted by bookwo3107 at 3:13 PM on March 30, 2009


Now all we need is some linguistic Kutiman to jujitsu the chatlogs into the next Hamlet.
posted by Rhaomi at 3:13 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I wish it were true, but actually I only did it since I figured I couldn't be the only person reading this thread wishing desperately that two mefites would unwittingly post opposing sides of the same conversation. Hopefully those other people smiled where I was disappointed.

I come clean now for fear that in a distant MeTa flameout, someone will bring up my posting history to prove that I am, in fact, a racist cannibal.

On Preview, YSSTOG is a pretty good witness against me.
posted by jermsplan at 3:13 PM on March 30, 2009


Is anyone else reminded of improv skits in the above conversations where the Stranger cooperates?
posted by olya at 3:16 PM on March 30, 2009


Nice!

I met three retards and an abortion, but then this really interesting bookophile came along, and we talked about Amiga history. And then he disconnected, and I'll never talk to him again, and that's the mess-with-your-head fun-for-grownups part.
posted by krilli at 3:17 PM on March 30, 2009


You: Halo
Stranger: Hola
You: Haw ary uoe?
Stranger: Outstanding. How are you?
You: tahr ias samething wring wuth ny koibart
Stranger: Did you try fapping? It might turn it green.
You: o thint ny cauturtor is burkoln
Stranger: Well say his name.
You: du uoe cnow huw o ctn fiz ut?
Stranger: ҉ ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇HE COMES͡҉ ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ~ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝
Stranger: ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉
͡҉ ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ ~ ҉ZA ҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ L ҉GO~ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝
You: WORKED
You: thank you strange wizard
Stranger: Warrgarbl
You: oh dear
You: did i give it to you?
You: good lord
You: its everywhere
Stranger: It is everything.
Stranger: Don't fight. Just say his name.
You: STEVE
Stranger: ͡҉҉ ͡҉ HE҉̔̕̚̕̚҉ COMES҉҉ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ SAY͡҉ HIS҉ NAME҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ ͡҉҉ ̔̕̚̕ ҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ BE ̵̞C̟̠̖̗O̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿M̿̿E̕̚̕̚͡ ҉O҉NE̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉
You: I LOVE YOU STEVE

***********

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: BECOME ONE WITH ME
You: oh wtf i just broke up with you
Stranger: WHY?
Stranger: I NEED YOU\
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:17 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Stranger: hi
You: hello
Stranger: how are you
You: im alright, you?
Stranger: i am good.
Stranger: my name is peter
Stranger: what is your name
You: Jesus
You: I know it was you
You: and Judas
Stranger: D:
Stranger: i iz not a disabled
Stranger: *disciple
posted by lilkeith07 at 3:18 PM on March 30, 2009


You: Most have been very short.
You: And I've mostly talked with these strangers about talking with these strangers.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
QFT LOL
posted by krilli at 3:19 PM on March 30, 2009


It's really a fat 50-50. Which is not too bad. Wonder where it'll be in two years? Five?
posted by From Bklyn at 3:19 PM on March 30, 2009


3:12:49 PM Linus Enriquez: DOD
3:13:01 PM omeglebot: Department of Defense?
3:13:04 PM omeglebot: What are you doing here
3:13:07 PM Linus Enriquez: Login:...
3:13:10 PM omeglebot: YOur supposed to be protesting me
3:13:16 PM Linus Enriquez: User not found.
3:13:17 PM omeglebot: ptotecting
3:13:29 PM Linus Enriquez: IP trace enabled.
3:13:46 PM omeglebot: Good luck with that you jew scum
3:14:00 PM Linus Enriquez: IP found.
3:14:23 PM omeglebot: Mind telling me what it is? Never could find a reliable site
3:14:55 PM Linus Enriquez: Reverse IP request granted. 155.7.40.239.
3:15:15 PM omeglebot: Ah ha
3:15:15 PM omeglebot: fail
3:15:18 PM omeglebot: That ain't it
3:16:03 PM omeglebot: Thats for Defenselink.mil

Scary.
posted by linux at 3:21 PM on March 30, 2009


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I WIN.
Stranger: hey
Stranger: you
Stranger: ..................................................................................,-~~'''''''~~--,,_
....................................................................................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
...............................................................................,~''::::::::',::::::::::::::::::::|',
...............................................................................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
...............................................................................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
...............................................................................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
..............................................................................(_''~-': : : ::: : : : : :
...............................................................................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
...................................................................................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
..............................................................................,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
........................................................................__,-';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
...............................................................__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
...................................................,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,__
................................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .''|::::::::|. .,';;;;;;;;;;''-,
................................................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
.............................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : |__|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
...........................................,-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;;;. . |:::|. . .'',;;;;;;;;|;;/
........................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;. . |::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
......................................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;; |..|. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
......................................./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'', |.;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
....................................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|. |.;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
................................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;|
...............................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .'|;;',;;;;;|
..............................|;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,';;;;;',;;;;|_
............................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
............................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
......................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--,
......................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--,
...................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,-~~'''__''~-
..................,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.....................''-,_''-,''-,''~
................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|.............................._''
Stranger: no, youve already lost

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

posted by koeselitz at 3:21 PM on March 30, 2009 [16 favorites]


So, it's like an elevator, except that you don't move anywhere.
posted by applemeat at 3:27 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


Stranger: PSUC? SPUF? EOCF?
You: WWF? CSPAN?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 3:37 PM on March 30, 2009


I just had a great chat with a guy from England doing his Ph.D work in computer visioning. Turns out we'd both seen that TED talk about sixth-sense computing.

The rest, though? Crap. One conversation revolved around how many of my mother's pussy worms Stranger wanted to eat.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 3:40 PM on March 30, 2009


You: I WIN
Stranger: NO
Stranger: NEVER
Stranger: YOU WILL NEVER WIN
Stranger: THE GAME
You: BUT I ALREADY WON
Stranger: ARE THE SAME GUY AS BEFORE
You: I SEVERELY DOUBT THAT, SIR
Stranger: ALRIGHT.
Stranger: ...HEY. WHATCHA WEARING
You: A BUCKET
You: IT IS FULL OF CARP
You: WANT ONE?
Stranger: NO THANKS
You: OKAY
Stranger: MY TOMATO BOX IS SAFE ENOUGH
You: IS IT SAFE FROM THE TERRORISTS?
Stranger: ...
Stranger: N-NO
Stranger: THE GERMANS STILL GET IN
You: HERE, TAKE THIS SMALL WHITE KITTEN
You: IT WILL KEEP YOUR TOMATO BOX SAFE
Stranger: I WILL NAME IT YUKI
Stranger: THANK YOU, DEAR
You: GERMANS THINK KITTENS ARE AWESOME
Stranger: I WILL KEEP SAFE. SEE YOU LATER, Y/Y?
You: N
posted by kldickson at 3:41 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi!
You: hurf durf
You: have you noticed how everyone on here has a gimmick
Stranger: lol yeah
You: they'll say something and then wait for your reaction
Stranger: or just ask me absurd questions
You: except usually it's just two people exchanging their gimmicks
Stranger: indeed
You: and then disconnecting in frustration at the lack of reaction.
Stranger: you are indeed observant
You: i don't think this thing will work very well.
Stranger: nor do I
Stranger: especially since what is the point of chatting with strangers
You: well, i'm off to tell somebody else "hurf durf"
Stranger: hurf durf
posted by tehloki at 3:43 PM on March 30, 2009 [14 favorites]


Stranger: Meh, you're too intelligent to fuck with. :]
You: Sorry
Stranger: Yes, be sorry.
Stranger: You smartarsed bastard.
posted by davros42 at 3:44 PM on March 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Vienna?
You: Sausage?
Stranger: Close enough!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by kenlayne at 3:44 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


This would totally be awesome if they had some barriers in place to keep out the idiots and kiddies. Half the transcripts above sound like they're from the same 14-year old gangsta wannabe.
posted by crapmatic at 3:45 PM on March 30, 2009


Hey, my 4chan knowledge actually came in handy for something:

You: Hello
Stranger: Hey.
Stranger: Do you like the game?
You: You just lost it.
Stranger: ASs did you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by burnmp3s at 3:45 PM on March 30, 2009



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: .
……………_„-,-~''~''':::'':::':::::''::::''~
………._,-'':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::''-„
………..,-':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\
………,-'::::::::::::„:„„-~-~--'~-'~--~-~--~-|
……..,'::::::::::,~'': : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: : '-|
……..|::::::::,-': : : : : : : : - -~''''¯¯''-„: : : : :\
……..|:::::::: : : : : : : : : _„„--~'''''~-„: : ;: : : '|
……..'|:::::::,': : : : : : :_„„-: : : : : : : : ~--„_: |'
………|:::::: : : „--~~'''~~''''''''-„…_..„~''''''''''''¯|
………|:::::,':_„„-|: : :_„---~: : ''¯¯''''|: ~---„_: ; |
……..,~-,_/'': : : |: _ o__): : |: : : : : _o__): \...|
……../,'-,: : : : : ''-,_______,-'': : : : ''-„____./
……..\: : : : : : : : : : : : : : :„: : : : :-,: : : : :\
………',:': : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'__: : : :_',: : :; ,'
……….'-,-': : : : : :___„-: : :'': : ¯''~~'': ': : ~--|'
………….|: ,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: : :/
………….'|: \: : : : : : : : -,„_„„-~~--~--„_: :: |
…………..|: \: : : : : : : : : : : :-------~: : : : .|
…………..|: :''-,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : /
…………..',: : :''-, : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: ,'
……………| : : : : : : : : :_ : : : : : : : : : : ,-'
……………|: : : : : : : : : : '''~----------~''
…………._|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :
……….„-''. '-,_: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ,'
……,-''. . . . . '''~-„_: : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'''-„
█▀█░█▀█░█▀█░█▀█░█▀█░█▄░█░█▀▀░░
█▀▀░█▀▄░█░█░█▀▀░█▀█░█▀██░█▀░░░
▀░░░▀░▀░▀▀▀░▀░░░▀░▀░▀░░▀░▀▀▀░▀
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:49 PM on March 30, 2009 [7 favorites]


I got the Vienna guy too.
posted by krilli at 3:53 PM on March 30, 2009


This was pretty awesome:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: England?
You: Not at all.
You: India?
Stranger: No.
Stranger: China?
You: No. Bahrain?
Stranger: No. Congo?
You: No. Equatorial New Guinea?
Stranger: No. Netherlands?
You: No. Macedonia?
Stranger: No. Lithuania?
You: No. Lichtenstein?
Stranger: No. Switzerland?
You: No. Japan?
Stranger: No. America?
You: No. Sri Lanka?
Stranger: No. Bangladash?
You: No. Indonesia?
Stranger: No. Australia?
You: No. Italy?
Stranger: No. Spain?
You: No. Finland?
Stranger: No. Norway?
You: No. Denmark?
Stranger: No. Sweden?
You: No. Austria?
Stranger: No. France?
You: No. Uzbekistan?
Stranger: No. Georgia?
You: No. Tajikistan?
Stranger: No. Afghanistan?
You: No. Turkey?
Stranger: No. Cyprus?
You: No. Malaysia?
Stranger: No. Mongolia?
You: No. Jordan?
Stranger: No. Chad?
You: No. Niger?
Stranger: No. South Africa?
You: No. New Zealand?
Stranger: No. Antarctica?
You: No. Taiwan?
Stranger: No. Hong Kong?
You: No. Federated States of Micronesia?
Stranger: No. The Principality of Sealand?
You: No. Nepal?
Stranger: No. San Marino?
You: No. C'ote d' Ivoire?
Stranger: No. Costa Rica?
You: No. Trinidad & Tobago?
Stranger: No. Egypt?
You: No. St. Kitts & Nevis?
Stranger: No. Faroe Islands?
You: No. Madagascar?
Stranger: No. Iceland?
You: No. Falkland Islands?
Stranger: No. Ireland?
You: No. Central African Republic?
Stranger: No. Chile?
You: No. Argentina?
Stranger: No. Brazil?
You: No. Bolivia?
Stranger: No. Canada?
You: No. Uruguay?
Stranger: No. Mexico?
You: No. Paraguay?
Stranger: No. Belgium?
You: No. Luxembourg?
Stranger: No. Estonia?
You: No. Czech Republic?
Stranger: No. Panama?
You: No. Russia?
Stranger: Comrade!
You: Comrade!
posted by disillusioned at 4:03 PM on March 30, 2009 [52 favorites]


I got the Vienna guy too.

You know who ELSE was from Vienna?
posted by kenlayne at 4:04 PM on March 30, 2009


You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: ....now what?
Stranger: lol
Stranger: not sure
You: is this life in the digital age?
Stranger: asl ?
You: 24 f LA
You: u?
Stranger: 22 m ireland
You: d'gay mate
Stranger: ? lol
You: sorry bad joke....
You: i like to make fun of people.
Stranger: lol
You: i was using an austrailian slang term...to ridicule your accent/culture
Stranger: well u coulda said u dont sweat much for a fat bird
Stranger: or something like that
Stranger: or ur oura ur wheely bin
You: fat bird?
You: wheely bin?
Stranger: lolz
You: those termz are like nuts.
Stranger: irish slang
You: ahhh
You: do you call those police van paddy wagons?
Stranger: no
You: or do you call them 'american wagons'?
Stranger: pig carriers
You: lol
You: r u working?
Stranger: nope lol
Stranger: u ?
You: what u doing?
You: yeah...i do this...webcam stuff for money...
You: and i goto school.
You: working on my post graduate in sociology....
Stranger: nice
Stranger: tryna get work with computer tech here
You: focusing on financial circumstance and infrastructure support for lower classes and the effects of community support.
You: u like computers.... cool.
Stranger: lol easy to work with
You: yeah....cool.
Stranger: better working with what i no
You: you sound like a nerd.
Stranger: than learning something newe
Stranger: nah
You: no...ok.
Stranger: i actualy am hoping to join the army
You: and kill brown people?
You: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./ It’s a trap!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _,,,--~~~~~~~~--,_ . . . . ._________/
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ : : : :::: :::: :: : : : : :º ‘-, . . /. . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . .,-‘ :: : : :::: :::: :::: :::: : : :o : ‘-, . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ :: ::: :: : : :: :::: :::: :: : : : : :O ‘-, . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . .,-‘ : :: :: :: :: :: : : : : : , : : :º :::: :::: ::’; . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .,-‘ / / : :: :: :: :: : : :::: :::-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ; . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . /,-‘,’ :: : : : : : : : : :: :: :: : ‘-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;;| . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . /,’,-‘ :: :: :: :: :: :: :: : ::_,-~~,_’-, ;; ;; ;; ;; | . . . . . . .
. . . . . _/ :,’ :/ :: :: :: : : :: :: _,-‘/ : ,-‘;’-‘’’’’~-, ;; ;; ;;,’ . . . . . . . .
. . . ,-‘ / : : : : : : ,-‘’’ : : :,--‘’ :|| /,-‘-‘--‘’’__,’’’ ;; ;,-‘ . . . . . . . .
. . . :/,, : : : _,-‘ --,,_ : : : ||/ /,-‘-‘x### :: ;;/ . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . / /---‘’’’ : # : : : : : | | : (O##º : :/ /-‘’ . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . /,’____ : : ‘-# : , : : : : ‘-,___,-‘,-`-,, . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . ‘ ) : : : :’’’’--,,--,,,,,,¯ :: ::--,,_’’-,,’’’¯ :’- :’-, . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .) : : : : : : ,, : ‘’’’~~~~’ :: :: :: :’’’’’¯ :: ,-‘ :,/ . . . . . . . . .
. . . . .,/ /|| | :/ / : : : : : : : ,’-, :: :: :: :: ::,--‘’ :,-‘ . . . . . . . .
. . . . .’| |/ ‘/ / :: :_--,, : , | )’; :: :: :: :,-‘’ : ,-‘ : : : , . . . . . . .
. . . ./¯ :| | : |/ :: ::----, :/ :|/ :: :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : ‘’-,,_ . . . .
. . ..| : : :/ ‘’-(, :: :: :: ‘’’’’~,,,,,’’ :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : : : :,-‘’’ . . . .
. ,-‘ : : : | : : ‘’) : : :¯’’’’~-,: : ,--‘’’ : :,-‘’ : : : : : : : : : ,-‘ :¯’’’’’-,_ .
./ : : : : :’-, :: | :: :: :: _,,-‘’’’¯ : ,--‘’ : : : : : : : : : : : / : : : : : : :’’-,
/ : : : : : -, :¯’’’’’’’’’’’¯ : : _,,-~’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : :| : : : : : : : : :
: : : : : : :¯’’~~~~~~’’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : : :
posted by spark_001 at 4:04 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I just had a interesting conversation with a guy from Amsterdam who was studying artificial intelligence. So I think that the site as some potential, just need to weed out all the people who say one liners and then log off.
posted by lilkeith07 at 4:12 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


You: Hello
Stranger: fap fap fap
posted by cior at 4:17 PM on March 30, 2009


Is anyone else reminded of improv skits in the above conversations where the Stranger cooperates?
posted by olya


Yes, this is pretty much the first thing I thought about. Some of the most fun ones have been, of course, the most absurd and meandering little 'skits'. I tend to like it more when they either exit abruptly after a well-placed line or we end up talking regularly. I also feel the pressure to come up with something good before I disconnect, though, and so am often disconnected on.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 4:18 PM on March 30, 2009


I got a bit further with Vienna Guy:

Stranger: Hi. Vienna?
You: ??
You: ja!
Stranger: oui?
Stranger: parlez-vous francais?
You: un peau :D
Stranger: i'm american, alas
Stranger: but austria is rad
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Who Will Break The Record?
posted by krilli at 4:50 PM on March 30, 2009


Stranger: hi
You: Third floor, please.
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: wow, that is so weird
Stranger: I am on the third floor of a building
You: Oh, hi.
You: Is this the third floor then?
Stranger: I don't know
You: Maybe I have the wrong building.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by shoesfullofdust at 4:55 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


You: yo
You: still hangin'
Stranger: sup dawg
You: nothing. chillin
You: you?
Stranger:
……………….._„-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-„
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_„—-„_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._„,—-„_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-„„—-~~’’’’’’~—„,_…..„-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _„-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-„_ „-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;„-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : ; ; ; |
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-„_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
…………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; „-~’’ , , , , „,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;|
..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~—-~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-„„—~~’’’¯’’’~-„_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | … … ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, … . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~—‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, „- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-„,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-„_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; „ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
…..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
…,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-„„,—~~’’’’’’~-„ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
…| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _„-‘’
….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_„-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’’~-„_ ; ; ; ; _„,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;„-‘
………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-„___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; „-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;„-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’„’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘—„
………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~„
……………………………………………’’-„ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-„
………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; „_ ; ;’-,’’-,
…………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,—.
……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;„-~’’’ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , „’,_/—‘
You: that's what I'm talking about!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by abc123xyzinfinity at 4:55 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


"You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello
Stranger: where you from?
You: Pittsburgh
Your conversational partner has disconnected."

*Sigh*
posted by UrbanEye at 4:57 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: oh my god, I can see you on my screen!
You: this technology is creepy!
Stranger: yes, i really do look like a pair of pixels
You: i'm drinking merlot from a box
You: does that make me white trash?
Stranger: do you not have a cup in the house?
You: i'm an anti-cuppist
Stranger: don't know about white trash, but Merlot is red shite
You: but it keeps the heart healthy
You: shite - are you in the UK?
Stranger: iam
Stranger: i am
You: Seattle, WA, USA here
You: I want to visit the UK, do the Abbey Road crossing and eat your legendary food
Stranger: ah nice. still cold there?
You: 50 degrees
Stranger: people speak highly of my food
You: i hear the spotted dick is to die for!
Stranger: didn't know it was legendary though, i only know a few recipes.
Stranger: spotted dick? overrated
You: what would you cook for me?
Stranger: if you're vegetario
You: vegetable rights and peace!
Stranger: are you vegetarian? that may alter my plans
You: no, if god didn't want me to eat animals he wouldn't have made them out of meat
Stranger: or made them so tasty.
You: are you near Swindon?
Stranger: Swindon? no. Closer to Newcastle
You: I'm a big fan of XTC
Stranger: Ah, Senses Working Overtime. good song
You: in fact, the Brits make the best music. And comedy shows. Spaced FTW
Stranger: You know what, I've never seen Spaced and people tell me it was fabulous
You: you should watch it, guvna
Stranger: i should, but i have a lousy record for buying DVDs and not watching them
You: so, do Americans suck? Sorry about that Bush guy, we're trying to get over it
Stranger: love America, would like to have a look round someday
You: we drive on the wrong side of the road
Stranger: i can live with that, but you do drive crass cars
Stranger: how many jeeps and 'trucks' do you need?
You: actually, all our automakers are going under at the moment. I drive an 81 Toyota pickup
You: don't you mean lorries?
Stranger: no, i mean like the tundra, F150 and so on.
You: in answer to your query, we need lots. We have to haul around a lot of guns and beef.
You: but here in Seattle, the men are quite pussified and they all drive Subaru Outbacks
Stranger: had to find a picture of one
You: what do you drive? an Austin Powers shaguar? A mini?
Stranger: hehehe
Stranger: i don't drive
Stranger: I use the bus to get to work
You: good for you, it's overrated
You: is it a red double decker bus? Driven by Vyvian?
Stranger: CLiIIIFFFF!
You: spot on!
Stranger: ah no, it's just a single decker thing.
You: you're funny, I wish we could 'go round to the pub'
You: and pick up some 'birds'
Stranger: not going to happen. the pubs shut 2 hours ago.
You: bbbut it's only five in the evening!
Stranger: it's five o clock somewhere.
Stranger: but we have the pubs
You: what time is it there?
Stranger: 00:57
You: our bars are open until 0200
Stranger: Ours might be open late too, but I'm not sure how many bother during the week
You: anyway, got to go, sorry about the whole revolutionary war thing, keep in touch: markmurphy@hotmail.com
Stranger: If it was closer to the weekend, then they would certainly be open now.
Stranger: tea was wasted on the US anyway, you need proper kettles.
Stranger: Good to talk to you mark.
You: likewise
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by markjamesmurphy at 5:07 PM on March 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


Stranger: vienna?
You: on sundays
You: how'd you know
Stranger: i'm from there too
Stranger: you know
You: in the winter, too?
Stranger: the place
Stranger: all the time man
You: that's awesome. i only qualify every second day and they treat me poorly when i'm not home.
Stranger: that sucks holmes
Stranger: want to get them back?
Stranger: i know a guy
You: yeah, but they're always like that with noodles.
You: yeah, you think he can help?
Stranger: for sure
You: 'cuz i got heavy timber for the guy who can do the job.
You: he could retire right after
Stranger: for real?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 5:16 PM on March 30, 2009


It's fun to use what little Romanian I know to weird the shit out of people. Someone's already mistaken me for a Mexican.
posted by kldickson at 5:18 PM on March 30, 2009


Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: what are you?
You: Hello, there.
Stranger: hi
You: a person in San Francisco.
Stranger: awesome
You: What is your biggest secret?
Stranger: i like amputee porn :(
You: I've looked at ampuporn
Stranger: do you like it?
You: Some is of lurkers following amps on the street, and they don't know they are being followed.
Stranger: oh cool
Stranger: have you ever spuffed on a stump?
You: I think all fetishes are of interest as to how people are
You: spuffed?
Stranger: i think that too
Stranger: yes, spuffed.
You: okay...what is spuffing?
You: what I think it is?
Stranger: what do you think spuffing is?
You: something that I am physicall unable to do.
You: (physically)
Stranger: oh no. re you injured?
You: if you call female "injured"
Stranger: haha no. where do you live?
You: I do have a spinal injury...years of operations...and pain...but it doesn't show enough to invoke anyone's spuffage.
Stranger: oh, ok thank you for the honesty
You: Four blocks from Union Square in San Francisco. U?
Stranger: wow, thats very specific
You: Not enough to Google Earth my apt bldg though.
Stranger: dont worry i'm not gonna spend a grand on a plane ticket just to stalk you
You: lol
You: and u?
Stranger: i live in England
You: Ah...north...south...?
Stranger: East
Stranger: :)
You: :*)
You: Someone from the Commonwealth
Stranger: How old are you mystery female from San Francisco?
You: I just had my birthday on the 18th...meh...over (gasp) 50.
Stranger: wow, you type like a much younger person
Stranger: :)
You: I work as a partner in an information security consulting firm...forever young, etc...we just roll like dat.
Stranger: tee hee
Stranger: guess how old i am...
Stranger: you have three guesses
You: 22
Stranger: No.
You: Did that age insult you?
Stranger: Yes.
You: That's a good hint. So is the "tee hee"...let's see...
You: okay...
You: 14
Stranger: Wow. That age insulted me more.....
You: More or less insulted?
You: Then...42
Stranger: ooh too bad, you lose. I am 27 :)
You: On the Internet no one can guess your age.
Stranger: but isn't it fun guessing!
You: Unless you reference seeing a particular historical event making it ez. Yes...it is interesting. I always win a prize at carnival at the "Guess Your Age" booth.
You: Need to see if that's still true.
Stranger: I do too!! but we rarely have carnivals where i live. such a shame.
You: Whut do u do?
You: Need moar carnivals....
Stranger: indeedo we do.
Stranger: guess what i do?...........
You: Information technology?
Stranger: god you're good
You: (blush) nah...I was just playing the odds on this service's likely population
Stranger: you are very clever. yep yep
Stranger: so...
You: so...when one of us clicks "Disconnect" we'll never speak to each other again, eh?
Stranger: i guess so. thats sad :(
You: The Buddhists would understand....things are fleeting
Stranger: thats too clever for me, sorry
You: nature of universe, and so on
Stranger: so true
Stranger: still
You: Have a very good night...and an ever increasingly good life.
Stranger: you too, i mean that :) god bless x
You: Goodbye...forever old pal.
Stranger: tara
You: :*) you too
You have disconnected.

I suddenly feel so empty. and un spuffed. sigh.

posted by Dunvegan at 5:20 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Just reading these comments provided all the entertainment I'd likely get from this application. Thanks guys!
posted by thatbrunette at 5:25 PM on March 30, 2009


You: yello
Stranger: Hello c:
You: Cool, a C prompt!
You: cd windows
You: cd system
You: notepad.exe
You: Dang, that didn't work.
Stranger: you forget something
You: the slash?
Stranger: thegam.exe
posted by grubi at 5:27 PM on March 30, 2009


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Welcome to Omegle!
Stranger: :D
You: Are you looking for some stimulating conversation?
Stranger: ehm..
Stranger: :D
You: Please press '9'.
You: PRESS IT
You: Please
Stranger: OK
Stranger: vabbe
You: If you don't, I don't know what'll happen.
Stranger: chidiamo è meglio
Stranger: ok
You: gezundheit
You: I'm BEGGING you
You: they will hit me if you don't press 9!
Stranger: hello sorry
You: OH GOD PRESS IT
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by grubi at 5:37 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


You: hi
Stranger: I just farted on your soul.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 5:42 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Stranger: I'm supposed to have sex with you if you're female
You: who pressed you into that?
Stranger: God
Stranger: He's all powerful apparently
You: oh, that temperamental little shithead?
Stranger: yeah that bastard
You: he doesn't exist. you can break out of those bonds.
Stranger: YES! IM FREE
You: now go have glorious gay buttse
Stranger: im gonna go fuck a wall socket
posted by kldickson at 5:44 PM on March 30, 2009 [7 favorites]


oh, i think i got the vienna guy too but i didn't realize what was going on ..............
posted by yeoz at 5:51 PM on March 30, 2009


You: Is it safe?
Stranger: I dunno...how good are you on a minigun?
You: not too good
You: I end up killing everything
You: so many embarassing moments
You: *sigh*
Stranger: boy was your face red
You: Oh yeah
You: you're tellin me
You: and guess who had to clean up the mess?
Stranger: ...mexicans/
Stranger: ?
You: No, my mom.
You: Who is not Mexican.
You: As far as I know
You: She never tells me her secrets
Stranger: she could be a secret mexican?
You: Oh, it's possible.
You: And if I ask her, she's likely to lie about it
Stranger: we are through the looking glass here people...
You: WAIT YOU SEE IT TOO?
Stranger: ZOMG
Stranger: this thing is ABOUT.TO.GET.HUGE
You: I need to lay down
You: I'm hyperventrilicating
Stranger: yeah! me too! and I don't even know what the fuck you just said!
You: oh wait
You: i'm not hyperanything
You: i'm dizzy
You: Dizzy Gillespie, actually.
Stranger: I am gemini. nice to make your aquantance
You: Don't mock me.
Stranger: life did that long ago
You: I'm a brilliant surgeon.
Stranger: really? wow. what is your specialty
You: pancakes.
Stranger: tripple layer
Stranger: nice
You: don't talk like that
You: you'll get me disbarred
Stranger: snizzap
You: great
Stranger: good
Stranger: fine.
You: now I'm disbarred
You: thanks
Stranger: I think we are done here
You: ARE WE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by grubi at 5:55 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, that was fun.

I love talking shit, and had a few good conversations in that sense.
posted by flippant at 5:56 PM on March 30, 2009


You: hello-- anyone there?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Man, I suck.
posted by availablelight at 6:03 PM on March 30, 2009


you guys are all talking to each other, you know..... think about it...
posted by HuronBob at 6:10 PM on March 30, 2009


I copied like 5 conversations into this box, but couldn't be arsed to switch all the You:s and Stranger:s so I deleteded them.
posted by carsonb at 6:13 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


*ahem*
Talk to Strangers

Now i wasn’t raised at gunpoint
And i’ve read too many books
To distract me from the mirror
When unhappy with my looks
And i ain’t got proper diction
For the makings of a thug
Though i grew up in the ghetto
And my niggers all sold drugs,
And though that may validate me
For a spot on mtv
And give me all the airplay
That my bank account would need,
I was hoping to invest in
A lesson that i learned
I thought this fool had jumped me
Just because it was my turn.
I went to an open space
Because i knew he wouldn’t do it
If somebody there could see him
Or somebody else might prove it,
And maybe in your eyes
It may seem i got punked out
Because i walked in their own path
And then went and changed my route.
But that open-ness exposed me
To a truth i couldn’t find
In the clenched fists of my ego
Or the confines of my mind
Or the hip-ness of my swagger,
Or the swagger of my step,
The scowl of my grimace,
Or the mean-ness of my rap.
Because we represent a truth son,
That changes by the hour,
And when you open to it,
For nobility is power,
In that shifting form you’ll find a truth that doesn’t change
And that truth is living proof of the fact that god is strange…

Talk to strangers
When the family fails and friends led you astray
And buddah laughs and jesus weeps and turns out god is gay.
As angels in disguise love can come in many forms,
The hallways of your projects or the fat girl in your dorm,
And when you finally take the time to see what they’re about
Perhaps you find they’re lonely or their wisdom trips you out.

Maybe you’ll find the cycles end
Right back where you began,
But come this time around
You’ll have someone to hold your hand,
Who prays for you who is there for you
Who sends you love and light,
Exposes you to parts of you
That you once tried to fight.
And come this time around
You choose to walk a different path,
You’ll embrace what you turned away
And cry at what you laughed,
Because that’s the only way
We’re going to make it through this storm,
Where ignorance is common sense
And senseless is the norm.
Infact we’re high above the truth
And that you never touch,
And stolen goods are overpriced
And freedom costs too much,
And no-one seems to recognise
The symbols come to life,
The bitten apple on the screen
And jesus had a wife,
And she was his messiah
Like that stranger may be yours,
Who holds a subtle knife
That carves through worlds
Like magic doors,
And that’s what i’ve been looking for,
The bridge from then to now,
Just watching b.e.t like what the fuck son,
This is foul
But that’s where [boston?] represents
This fear that we live in,
The world is not a flat screen
I ain’t trying to fit in.
But this ain’t for the underground
This here is for the sun.
A seed a stranger gave to me
And planted on my tongue.
And when i look at you,
I know i’m not the only one.
As a great man once said,
There’s nothing more powerful
Than an idea
Who’s time
Has come.

posted by Bageena at 6:20 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Stranger: The number you have called is not in service at this time. Please call again.
You: shit
You: i really wanted a pizza
Stranger: what would you like on that pizza mister/miss?
You: hmm....
You: well, I like mushrooms and pepperoni
You: so, that's easy
Stranger: FUCK MUSHROOMS AND PEPPERONI
You: ah
You: you won't be making it then?
You: how about onions?
You: hamburger?
Stranger: NO FUCK ONIONS
Stranger: HAMBURGERS TOO
You: hmm
You: how about a salad?
posted by josher71 at 6:21 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


You: hey
Stranger: hey did you know trix are for kids
You: says who?
Stranger: those damn kids
Stranger: i feel bad for the rabbit
You: i AM the rabbit
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by sharpener at 6:49 PM on March 30, 2009


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 1st word comes into ur head>
You: Tooth.
Stranger: boredom
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by Anything at 6:53 PM on March 30, 2009


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: CDs or Tapes?
You: tapes
Stranger: tape these nutz to ur mouth
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I think I know what he would have said had I chosen CDs...
posted by prefpara at 7:07 PM on March 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


This is almost as much fun as trying to jerk off a broom.
posted by dr_dank at 7:12 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I've had some nice conversations, but I've always had to get them going myself and mostly to keep leading them. People expect to be entertained without effort.
posted by Anything at 7:30 PM on March 30, 2009


So I actually met someone worth chatting with, and then my internet went out. Lady who thought I was a dude and asked me to sail away, contact me! (This could open up a whole new section of "Missed Connections" on craigslist)
posted by availablelight at 7:37 PM on March 30, 2009


This one made me chuckle:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi ther
You: greetings random
Stranger: did you bring me flowers
You: it seems everyone is nuts
You: I brought you nuts
Stranger: ill be right back i need to wash my hands
Stranger: go ahead and sit in the kitchen
You: ok have fun
Stranger: …………………………………………""-^*''''*^~^*'''*^-""
……………………………………."-^*''::::::::::"""-~-""~-*-""-^*~~-""
……………………………….."-^*''::::"""-::::""-~~-""::~-""::::/:::-~^^-"
……………………………."-*':::::::::"-^*::-"":::~-""::-":::/::""""-~:::::'\
………………………….../::::::::"-~^^::::^~-"-":::"-*-"/":::::::::::""-::'\
…………………………../::::::::/::-~~-""::-"::'\:""-*' . . . . *-"::::"""-~^::
…………………………::::::::~~-""____"""-~^* . . . . . . . . *-":::::::-"\
…………………………:::::"-^*''¯ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'\::::^-":-"\
…………………………::::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .':::~-"":'|
…………………………..\:::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \:::~-"""
……………………………\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::"-'"
…………………………….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-~~~~-"" . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
……………………………...-| . ""-~~~~-" . . . . "-*"-^*''o¯¯'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
……………………………...'\| .*^^*'''¯o¯'''*-" . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-" '|
…………………………….... . *^~~-~^*'' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./-~./
……………………………….\'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| . . /'
……………………………….. . . . . . . ."- ' . . . .*^" . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-" . . . . . \"-""_""-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| ........Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…………………………………….'\ . . . ""_""-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .\
……………………………………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ . . \-"-"
……………………………………….''-" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."-* . . . | . \''*-""
………………………………………….*-" . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-^'' . . . . / . . '\;;;;*^-""
…………………………………………...*^-"" . . . . . . .""-*' . . . . . ./' . . . ;;;;;;;;;;¯''*^~-""_
……………………………………….""-^*'|\ . . ¯''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . ."-* . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;¯'''*^~-""_
……………………………….."""-^*'';;;;;;;;| *-" . . . . . . . . . . . "-*'' . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;¯''*^-""
…………………………""-^*''¯;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;|\ . .*-"" . . . . . . ."-*' . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*^ ~-""
……………………""-^*';;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;'|.\ . . . *^~-""""-^*' . . . . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;¯'''*^-""_
……………..""-^*'¯;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| .\ . . . "-*'::::::-" . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;''\
………."-^*''¯;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . \ . ./''\:::::::::::/'''*^-" . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;'\
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You: hahah
You: nice
You have disconnected.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:45 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


(that looked better on preview)
posted by Burhanistan at 7:49 PM on March 30, 2009


I can't take that much rejection today. Yick.
posted by PuppyCat at 8:07 PM on March 30, 2009


I jibber jabbered for a bit and then we realized it was with a mefite (or at least a lurker). So I am back over here. I missed the vienna guy but did get someone inquiring about GLR? I made a couple of guesses, but then they disconnected. So I Googled it, and came up with the rather improbable (but not impossible) A gay leprechaun rubbing one off. The other mefite suggested girl lover right? which was better than my gorilla liberation revolutionary guess. Now I kind of wish someone sent me asci art.....
posted by zenon at 8:28 PM on March 30, 2009


You: Who wants some taffy?
Stranger: why are you on omegle
You: I'm giving away taffy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Oh man. I just wanted to make someone happy.....
posted by otolith at 8:56 PM on March 30, 2009


Stranger: Virulent sources.
You: I've seen better
Stranger: Have you ever seen a yellow moon?
You: only where the sky ceases
Stranger: I once ran a whole mile...
You: hate makes us do wonderful things
Stranger: I'd rather have a round soul than three old fingers.
You: ahh - but two noses will get you just as deeply
Stranger: Well fill it up. All the way this time.
You: you must keep your promises this time though
Stranger: I'll never spot a promise I can't catch.
You: a promise of all?
Stranger: All or nothing, we can't concede here.
You: we can - but only if we concede
Stranger: I knew you'd be here before I turned that corner.
You: i knew you would say that when you got here
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by nudar at 9:54 PM on March 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


I got this exciting (if somewhat creepy) tidbit from an otherwise uninteresting conversation.
Stranger: If you are the type who eats out regularly, one day a stranger might join you at the table. This stranger will always appear to be of your age and sex, and he (if it is a he) will only appear if you are alone. No matter what style of restaurant it is, he will always be carrying his own plate of food.

After a few seconds, he will look directly at you and say, “You seem like an interesting person. May I know you better?” Say yes, and he will begin to ask you questions about yourself in between bites. These questions will be innocuous enough at first: what your name is, what you do for a living, and so forth, but should you open your mouth to answer, you will be forced to tell the truth, even if you do not consciously know what the truth is. Remain silent, and the stranger will scowl at you, pick up his plate, and leave. You will never see him again. If you do indulge his questions, however, they will grow darker and darker as the food leaves his plate, and it will become harder and harder to resist answering. Do not attempt to leave the table before he does under any circumstances.

When his plate is clean, he will stand up to leave, but not before asking you one last, irresistible question: “What would drive you to take your own life?” You will instantly be aware that you will be able to lie in response to this one question, and I suggest you do, for whatever you describe will come to pass within the week. Those who are canny may use this chat to gain whatever they desire, but know that if the happenstance you name does not drive you to suicide, the stranger will start guessing as to what will. And consider how much he now knows about you.
posted by Lush at 9:56 PM on March 30, 2009 [6 favorites]


You: I put on my robe and wizard hat.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Wanna play a little game?
Stranger: Sure.
You: Err...
You have disconnected.

You: Never gonna give you up!
Stranger: Never gonna let you down!
You: Never gonna run around and desert you!
Stranger: Faggot.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: :)
Stranger: 8==D
You: :D
Stranger: 8==D~
You: ;( you got it in my eye!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:01 PM on March 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Stranger: I will beat you like the Sham-Wow guy beats hookers.
Stranger: Sham-POW!
You: wat
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:17 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]



My partner and I, we had a language problem....

Stranger: Konichiwa
You: hola
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by dejah420 at 10:19 PM on March 30, 2009


I asked someone what their quest was, and they responded with a blank, so I said that shouldn't take long, and they agreed, then I left.

Someone else told me to "DO A BARREL ROLL!!!!", so I did and then they left.

Then I made pleasant small talk with a lovely Canadian who suggests I watch Ugly Betty.

I guess I've run the gambit. Thank you, Internet. The only way I can get more out of this experience is if one of those people was one of you people.
posted by juliplease at 10:27 PM on March 30, 2009


I got asked "GLR?" as well. After fruitless guesses, they disconnected. Does it refer to some website that linked to Omegle maybe? I can't really get on the gay leprechaun train.

I also got someone who told me that they kept me long enough "to infect me" which was obvious BS. Then I got a nice British guy named Dan who was a fan of the Tottenham Hotspurs. We chatted for awhile about England. He said the previous people he talked to were all trolls.
posted by Locative at 10:48 PM on March 30, 2009


another "damn i wish i thought of that" site on the internet
posted by madh at 11:45 PM on March 30, 2009


The 4chan spammers get old very quickly, but I've had three or four genuine conversations today. My favorite was discussing French politics with a 20 year old Parisian ex-student, now searching for work. Don't even know his name. I guess that's part of the deal.
posted by theiconoclast31 at 12:20 AM on March 31, 2009


I really have no time for 4Chan, but this sounds fun.
posted by mippy at 3:42 AM on March 31, 2009


You: Hey
Stranger: nice woman?
You: meh.. decent
Stranger: but man
You: or woman
Stranger: or man
You: both?
Stranger: no
You: alien?
Stranger: tampoco
You: ah.. illegal alien
Stranger: je je
posted by namewithhe1d at 7:23 AM on March 31, 2009


These omegle people seem awfully interested in whether or not I have a vagina. AOL chat flashbacks.
posted by lysistrata at 9:32 AM on March 31, 2009


Stranger: well, do you think negros taste better on white or wheat bread?
posted by dontoine at 10:35 AM on March 31, 2009


Ukulele rockin' chicks need to give it up and find a new quirky meme to exploit.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:36 AM on March 31, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wait, wrong thread. Curse you Recent Activity!
posted by Burhanistan at 10:36 AM on March 31, 2009


Late to the party, but anyways:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: don't say anything
You: just listen
You: I missed you, stranger
You: so much
You: and now
You: you don't even dare to say anything
Stranger: but
You: but?!
You: there is no but
You: not anymore
Stranger: I..
You: you...
You: see?
You: *cries*
Stranger: We're not talking like we used to
You: ah come on
Stranger: you used to be so energetic
You: who started that?
You: Damn you and your sister!
You: I knew..
Stranger: You knew I've been with her this whole time?
Stranger: Who else knows?
You: everybody does
You: it's on the ... interweb!
Stranger: Fuck.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by Henrik at 3:02 PM on March 31, 2009 [3 favorites]


Mine went down like this, tried to throw some scottish at em and they bailed on me. Not sure if I want to try again :But I will

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: ih
You: whats up
Stranger: faggot
You: aye
posted by Upon Further Review at 5:10 PM on March 31, 2009


You: What are you doing here?!
Stranger: fuck a bitch!!!
You: I dropped you off at soccer practice two hours ago!
Stranger: i walked!
You: You better go to your room.
You: And no kaleidescope for you.
You: Not tonight.
Stranger: you always cut my sandwhiches wrong, mom!
You: You lost your scholarship, you lost your oboe...
Stranger: i hate you! you're ruining my life!
You: I never cut your sandwhiches right because you never really loved me, son.
You: If you loved me more, I would have.
Stranger: im a girl!!!
You: And your father wouldn't have left us.
Stranger: you dont even KNOW ME!!
You: Can I help it if I'm busy, if I have my own life?
You: God, you're so needy.
Stranger: too busy to notice the dick i pull out and masturbate over your face every night
Stranger: i hate you mom
You: In my day, we were married at twelve and a mother by thirteen, and we NEVER masturbated over our mother's faces.
You: Kids today.
You: Selling crack, listening to krunk.
Stranger: kids today, have moms like you
Stranger: whore
You: slattern.
Stranger: i smoke crack, not sell it!
Stranger: see?> you dont EVEN LISTEN!
You: Right! So how do you expect to move up in the world?
You: Do you just share it, I suppose?
You: God forbid you make some pocket money.
posted by redsparkler at 10:03 PM on March 31, 2009 [3 favorites]


You: Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Stranger: indeed
You: Cause I wonder where you are
Stranger: yes i know
You: And I wonder what you do
Stranger: implicit sir
You: Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Stranger: both
You: Tell me how to win your heart
You: For I haven't got a clue
Stranger: cp?
Stranger: idk
You: But let me start by saying, I love you ...
Stranger: do u have a gun?

You have disconnected.

Man, so much for the power of Lionel Richie.
posted by dersins at 3:58 PM on April 1, 2009 [2 favorites]


This is not new.
posted by allkindsoftime at 8:21 AM on April 2, 2009


You: HI!
Stranger: heyy
You: what's up
Stranger: nm u?
You: nm
Stranger: cool! :D
You: lol
Stranger: :P
You: so
Stranger: sooooo
You: michael jackson
Stranger: :O
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
posted by majikstreet at 2:42 PM on April 5, 2009


This is really, really fun.

My first conversation went on about 30 minutes, with a teenager in Brazil. He/She (beats me. Didn't come up.) is about to graduate and doesn't know what to do with his/her life at the moment. They don't like Brazil and wants to travel.

It's fun to connect with someone from another country, learn a little about them, then one of you has to go, and the next time you have some time to burn, spin the wheel again. If a conversation isn't going well, disconnect and try again. There seem to be just as many people sincerely looking for a good conversation as there are just wanting to mess around.
posted by Laen at 5:42 PM on April 8, 2009


NOTICE TO CHATTER: In accordance with the Terms of Service you have accepted to use this chat client, this conversation has been monitored and recorded by the Child Internet Service Protection Agency, as licensed by the Child Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA).

You are receiving this notice due to a potential violation of US law. Your IP address has been recorded and sent to the Child Online Pirvacy Protection Act (COPPA), who will review the chat log and request all available contact information from your Internet Service Provider, and will pursue a criminal investigation if necessary. If you believe this chat session was logged in error, please contact the Child Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) within 24 hours and quote the reference number #2334531-0343.
WTF?
posted by prefpara at 7:58 PM on April 11, 2009


I had a really cute conversation-slash-adventure that I think is worth sharing.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: rwar!
You: hi?
Stranger: i am a dinosaur
You: hi dino
You: i am a cat
Stranger: hi
You: meow!
Stranger: a big cat"?
You: tiny one
Stranger: because I would not want to squish you by accident
Stranger: i am a bright magenta dino
You: can i ride on your back?
Stranger: well if you don't dig in too much
You: oh that's very cool!
Stranger: we should go on a quest
Stranger: to find some duck babies
Stranger: they are delicious
You: ducklings?
You: ugly ones?
Stranger: for cats and dinosaurs to share
You: yes, and their eggs too
Stranger: no the cute ones, they taste better
You: i've never had ducklings before
Stranger: as a dinosaur i eat them every chance i get
You: are there many ducklings around here?
You: i don't see any
Stranger: no
Stranger: we have to travel to the riverlands
Stranger: this is the plains
Stranger: i came here, it took me many days
You: oh
You: well then
Stranger: had to run past the mammoth hows, and the lava pits, swim across the lake of burning eels
You: let's start our voyage!
Stranger: and traverse the forests of hate
Stranger: ok hop on
You: *hop*
You: *careful not to dig in claws*
Stranger: *starts running at about 30 mph*
You: hey this is fun!
You: the sun on my face, the wind in my fur
Stranger: tell me if you see anything that looks dangerous on the horizon, i don't have my contacts in
Stranger: :D
You: i see the end of a huge horn
Stranger: a horn.... is it purple?
You: yes, and it sparkles
Stranger: oh no it is a horrible barneyosaurus
You: how do we get rid of it??
You: do we kill it?
Stranger: we had better slow down and try and aviod it
You: i can claw it if you like
Stranger: if it sees us it will let out a horrible wars song that breaks ear drums
Stranger: it will not hurt me
You: oh no
Stranger: but you have eardrums
You: okay, i'll be vewwy vewwy quiet
You: let's tip toe around it
Stranger: maybe, lets try ans sneak up on it
Stranger: *slows down*
You: i'm scared :(
Stranger: ouch, don't hold on so tight, your claws are sharp
You: i'm sorry!
You: *retracts claws*
Stranger: we are only about 20 feet away now and he is looking the other way
You: he looks very big and clunky
Stranger: i think it is a female, and she is pregnant
Stranger: i have never seen a barneyosaurus that fat before
You: oh no, baby barneysaurs! we must kill it before it multiplies!
Stranger: right
Stranger: you go for the eyes
Stranger: i'll go for the throat
You: okay!
Stranger: on three you count
You: i'm game
You: one
You: two
You: three!
Stranger: * runs up and bites at the beasts thick neck*
You: DIE BARNEYSAURUS DIE!!!! *swipes claws on eyes*
Stranger: * tairs into her belly with my long claws*
You: *shreds barneysaurus's eyes into little pieces*
Stranger: YAY! it is not moving anymore!
You: oh but look, the belly is cut wide open
You: it's little barneysaurs squirming inside!
Stranger: oh no
Stranger: what should we do?
You: eat them?
Stranger: maybe we could raise one to be a nice barneyosaurs
You: they might taste like ducklings
Stranger: he could be our faithful companion
You: is there such a thing as a nice barneysaurus?
Stranger: i am talking crazy talk i know
You: it's insane... but it just might work
Stranger: but we can't get too attached
You: why not?
Stranger: because it could turn on us at any moment
Stranger: and we would have to kill it
You: so what's the point of raising it?
You: we could just kill it right now!
Stranger: your right, lets eat!
You: *nom nom nom*
Stranger: * nom nom nom*
You: baby horns are kind of crunchy
Stranger: like fried chicken
You: *nom nom nom8
Stranger: the babie are delicious, but not as good as baby ducks
Stranger: babies*
You: let's go back to looking for baby ducks
Stranger: yeah, we are almost to the forest of hate
You: *hops on back*
Stranger: Onward! * runs*
You: why is it so dark all of a sudden?
Stranger: * hums(as well as a dinosaur can hum)the indiana jones theme*
Stranger: i don't know
You: and cold
Stranger: this wind smells bad
You: s-s-s-so c-c-c-c-cc-c-cold..
You: I see a rat!
You: it is a rat, which is also a ninja
Stranger: i can't feel the cold, my reptilliness makes me impervious to cold
You: NinjaRat!
Stranger: ninja RAT!?!?!?!
You: where is it? it disappeared
Stranger: i always thought they were just a legend
Stranger: it is behind us
You: oh no!
Stranger: *whips around*
You: do we kill it, or befriend it?
Stranger: it' gone again
Stranger: it is too fast for me to catch
You: oh there it is again!
Stranger: we will have to talk to it, unless you can keep up with his ninja speed
You: *pounces on NinjaRat*
You: hello mister rat!
Stranger: *cheers*
Stranger: heh dino cheers soud like uwaauauauauauarrrruuuaaa
Stranger: sound*
You: it scared him a little bit
Stranger: we mean you no harm sir rat...at least not yet
You: o rat ninja, can you tell us about the forest of hate?
You: we bear friendship and dead baby barneysaurs
Stranger: the rat squirms and demands to be releases
You: *bares claws and raises paw*
You: better start talking, sir rat!
You: hmmm.... silence
Stranger: rat: the forest of hate is a dreadful place
You: why.. why?
Stranger: rat: there are trees that talk, and move
You: what is so bad about that?
Stranger: Rat: and spiders that are so tiny yet so deadly that you never feel their bite
Stranger: you are dead before you hit the ground
You: how can we survive the forest of hate???
Stranger: rat: and the humans live there
Stranger: they kill and eat EVERYTHING
You: *shudders* ... humans!
Stranger: rat: even the noble ninjarat is a food for humans
You: how do YOU survive?
Stranger: rat: i stay hidden, and cover my body in the secret spider repllent
You: what is this repellent and where can we get it?
Stranger: rat: i cannot tell you, it is a secret of my dojin
Stranger: rat: only those who have passed the ninja test and given the oath can use it
You: I would like to be a ninja!
Stranger: me too what do we have to do?
Stranger: ( your turn to be the rat)
You: rat: it will take years and years of practice and dedication
Stranger: oh
You: rat: but there is a way to learn all the techniques in one day
Stranger: well is there anyway we could take the test
Stranger: that sounds like what we need
Stranger: can you show us, please?
You: rat: if you are able to get the beaks of a thousand whooping cranes, come to me, and i will teach you the secret, and administer the test
Stranger: a thousand! where would that many cranes be?
Stranger: are there any marshes around here
You: they live on the shores of the lake of the burning eels
You: if you hurry, you can get to them before they migrate
Stranger: oh, i know where that is, it will be a dangerous mission, are you up to it cat?
You: I am!
Stranger: alright then sir rat, we must take our leave if we are to catch a thousand cranes
You: rat: come back to this spot with the beaks and i will come to you and teach you
You: rat: everything i know, you will know
Stranger: * me bows as best as a dinosaur can*
You: *bows as low as a cat can bow*
Stranger: come on cat we must be off
You: *hops on*
You: do you think he was telling the truth?
Stranger: * takes off full speed into the sunset*
Stranger: maybe, but either way fighting cranes will help our reflexes
Stranger: and we will have plenty of crane food
You: he kept twitching his tail and his nose..
Stranger: yes, but he is a rat
Stranger: they are twitchy folk
You: this is true
You: oh look! look at the lakeshore, dino
Stranger: we will have to be cautious when we return
Stranger: yes it is beautiful
You: there's so.... many of them
Stranger: and the cranes are still there!
Stranger: ( brb)
You: (i have to go soon.. :( )
Stranger: (back)
You: (welcome back but i must take my leave)
Stranger: ( aw thats sad, you are the only person on here that was fun to talk to)
You: (aww you too)
Stranger: ( well have fun out there in the real world)
You: (i have to make sandwiches because we're going on a real trip! and we leave in a couple of hours)
Stranger: ( cool what kind of sandwhiches?)
You: (egg salad sandwiches and cheese pimiento)
Stranger: ( a good choice)
Stranger: (farewell good luck on your journey)
You: (thank you, and you as well)
You: (until the further adventures of cat and dinosaur!)
Stranger: (until then)
You have disconnected.
posted by Lush at 9:05 AM on April 13, 2009 [3 favorites]


NOTICE TO CHATTER:
[SNIP]

WTF?


YHBT. (4chan is all over that place. )
posted by dersins at 9:24 AM on April 13, 2009


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