Pulp browsers

April 15, 2009 12:58 AM

"What" ain't no rendering engine I ever heard of! They support CSS3 in "What"?!
posted by slater (37 comments total)

We happy?
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:03 AM on April 15

You should see what they call a Mac OS in Redmond.
posted by rokusan at 1:06 AM on April 15 [5 favorites has favorites]

That draggy thing in the top left is neat.
posted by juv3nal at 1:09 AM on April 15

So which web browser is the Scientologist?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:14 AM on April 15

That snaky rectangle thing on his main page is kind of annoying.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:15 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

what
posted by dunkadunc at 1:45 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

That draggy thing in the top left is neat.

The first time you see it, yes. Every other time after that, increasingly annoying in its cutesy pointlessness. But this was lolworthy, and his SpeadTweet is also funny, so we're cool.
posted by flashboy at 1:53 AM on April 15

Your favourite web browser sucks.
posted by bjrn at 3:02 AM on April 15

This actually works fine in IE8. I'd show you a screenshot but I'd have to bring out the gimp.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 3:58 AM on April 15 [26 favorites has favorites]

People say things like:
Elliott Kember uses a lot of colored boxes for no apparent reason.
posted by archaic at 4:05 AM on April 15

Disregard my previous statement
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:16 AM on April 15

IE doesn't render right because of the metric system.
posted by TedW at 4:42 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

IE doesn't render right because Marsellus told it to take a dive.
posted by panboi at 5:21 AM on April 15

I don't be tickling or nothing.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:22 AM on April 15

twoleftfeet - the snakey thing on the main page is kind of annoying until you realize that it's a fully playable recreation of the "Snake" game in HTML 4 and CSS. Seriously. Start hitting arrow keys, you can control the snake. The only rule it doesn't follow is that it wraps at page top and bottom, rather than crashing. I was impressed.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:24 AM on April 15 [5 favorites has favorites]

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking page!

Someone needs to chain that boy to a radiator until he stops using Javascript.
posted by 0xdeadc0de at 5:26 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

Did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said CSS3 support?

No. I didn't.

You know WHY you didn't see that sign?

Why?

'Cause it ain't there, 'cause supporting CSS3 ain't my fucking business, that's why!
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:30 AM on April 15 [12 favorites has favorites]

Except I felt sorry for that kid in Pulp Fiction.
posted by DU at 6:08 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

Is this something you'd have to understand to understand it?
posted by not_on_display at 6:14 AM on April 15

Describe what border-radius looks like!

Well, in Firefox it looks like this:
-moz-border-radius

In Safari it looks like this:
-webkit-border-radius

In standards-compliant browsers:
border-radius

When applying border-radius, you may feel a slight sting. That's CSS fucking with you. Fuck CSS. CSS only hurts, it never helps.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:25 AM on April 15 [7 favorites has favorites]

Five long years, he supported IE 6. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the login. I supported that uncomfortable hunk of code for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family.

And now, little man, I give the login to you.
posted by No-sword at 6:32 AM on April 15 [3 favorites has favorites]

I had to crash that browser.
posted by stubby phillips at 6:37 AM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

This made me laugh a lot.
posted by roll truck roll at 7:49 AM on April 15

If I'm curt about your browser, it's because render time is a factor. I think fast, I surf fast, and I need this thing to load fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, load the fucking code.
posted by porn in the woods at 8:00 AM on April 15 [3 favorites has favorites]

Hey, daddy-o, don't be a ...
posted by swift at 8:23 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

Start hitting arrow keys, you can control the snake.

I just assumed that there was no more content when I tried to scroll using the cursors, and nothing happened. Which is a pretty poor bit of front-page usability for a hotshot web 2.0 designer.
posted by Luddite at 9:02 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

Which is a pretty poor bit of front-page usability for a hotshot web 2.0 designer.
That's funny. You used "usability" and "web 2.0" in the same sentence...and you weren't being ironic.
posted by Thorzdad at 9:08 AM on April 15

That's funny...
posted by PuppyCat at 9:58 AM on April 15

Get the fuck out my face with that no-CSS shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of broke-ass code on account of your dumb nonstandard ass. Well, I'm a strict-doctype-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch conditional comments, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN' WITH IE6 BUG FIXES? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON QA DETAIL!
posted by kirkaracha at 10:17 AM on April 15 [4 favorites has favorites]

I gave a footrub to IE once, and threw myself out the window.
posted by inigo2 at 10:30 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

I'm not entirely sure that fucking around with CSS3 before it's finalized is really a good idea. Uniform CSS2 support is what will make me happy at the moment, CSS3 is just grandstanding and showing off.
posted by Artw at 11:13 AM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]

So what does a guy like that make?
posted by geoff. at 11:16 AM on April 15

I want you to go on del.icio.us and find that DOM reference I bookmarked.

Which one is it?

It's the one tagged "BadMotherfucker."
posted by anthom at 1:00 PM on April 15 [3 favorites has favorites]

all I get is 'undefined' in null or not an object wtf??
posted by mattoxic at 1:32 PM on April 15

I am the best choice for all your front end development needs. Why? Let me tell you, one word.

Ajax, motherfuton
posted by brundlefly at 1:47 PM on April 15 [4 favorites has favorites]

NERDS
posted by hifiparasol at 3:24 PM on April 15 [1 favorite has favorites]

Let's not start logging each other's mouse clicks just yet.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:57 PM on April 15 [2 favorites has favorites]