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When you care enough to send the very worst...
April 21, 2009 9:00 AM   Subscribe

Wrong Cards. Some of these are tailor-made for MetaFilter. Some are probably offensive. Some I can even imagine sending to people I know. Which probably negates their mission of being wrong for every occasion, but I guess they can't be wrong all the time.
posted by jacquilynne (76 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite

 
Some good stuff on there and I always appreciate a separate section for zombie-related e-cards, but I still prefer someecards for my abusive/stalkerish e-card needs.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:09 AM on April 21, 2009 [4 favorites]


I can be abusive/stalkerish without e-cards, thank you :).
posted by The Devil Tesla at 9:13 AM on April 21, 2009


Yeah, someecards are better.
posted by amro at 9:20 AM on April 21, 2009


There are a lot of funny ones here, but this one actually made me laugh out loud. (Which was embarrassing because I wasn't about to explain that shit to my coworkers)

Many of these have just the right level of randomness to ping the parts of my brain which respond really well to WTF? humor.
posted by quin at 9:24 AM on April 21, 2009


There is a fortune to be made here, and it's not ecards. Seriously, how hard would it be to charge five bucks to mail an actual paper card to someone with one of these witty covers? Why has no one done this yet?
posted by ColdChef at 9:32 AM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


some(e)cards feels like married to the sea got into the e-card business. I like that wrongcards mixes up the visual styles.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:33 AM on April 21, 2009


Dogg It Must Feel Sick As Hell to Receive a Card From a Dude


Ain't This Just Sick as Hell
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:33 AM on April 21, 2009 [12 favorites]


i concur! the someecards writer and the wrong card artist should merge together for optimal abuse.
posted by the aloha at 9:44 AM on April 21, 2009


Coldchef: We have Moonpig.com in the U.K. that does exactly that.
posted by Ramo at 9:50 AM on April 21, 2009


Do not eat any eggs that come out of a rabbit is sound advice.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 9:52 AM on April 21, 2009


Because they are not chocolate.... They're not chocolate at all!
posted by Mastercheddaar at 9:53 AM on April 21, 2009


Coldchef: We have Moonpig.com in the U.K. that does exactly that.

Yes! Yes! Yes! That's exactly what I'm talking about. How much do they charge?
posted by ColdChef at 10:04 AM on April 21, 2009


Because they are not chocolate.... They're not chocolate at all!

"Wait, these aren't smart pills, they're deer pellets!"

"See, they're working already."
posted by hippybear at 10:14 AM on April 21, 2009 [3 favorites]


Coldchef: You had the price point right! A standard card is about $5 including postage.
posted by Ramo at 10:15 AM on April 21, 2009


Most are pretty lame, but there are some good ones...
posted by jon_hansen at 10:52 AM on April 21, 2009


The "this thread link on this page sent me back here. They were the first two things i clicked on when I checked out the site. I am confusing!
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 11:03 AM on April 21, 2009 [2 favorites]


Wait WTF? we give this fucker free advertising and they respond by freaking out as if ColdChef is attempting to plagiarize them or something and try to ruin his reputation and impugn his family?

Am I missing something or did this e-cards site just go from quirky and fun to BATSHITINSANE tag worthy?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:12 AM on April 21, 2009 [2 favorites]


I like this one.
posted by grounded at 11:19 AM on April 21, 2009


I thought I'd check out their store, and it made me laugh.

Don't you have enough useless stuff?
A Novelty Coffee Mug will not raise your status in the pack. Nor will it increase your chances of procreating.

posted by jasper411 at 11:19 AM on April 21, 2009


I think what you are missing is that it was never especially fun. It went from hackneyed and reactionary to explicitly repulsive.
posted by paisley henosis at 11:19 AM on April 21, 2009


Oh my god, that guy is batshitinsane.

ColdChef, you oughta infringe his copyright out of principle, now. What an asshole.

Wow, he already pulled it. I KNEW I should have copied and pasted it. Basically, he printed ColdChef's real name and location, and ranted verbosely about how CC was planning to steal the cards, and that when those copyright violations happened, ColdChef would be the first person whose door he'd knock on. He said something along the lines of "I bet that guy studied criminology in college, because that's all he knows how to do."

Dude is a mess. Don't buy his shit.
posted by Malor at 11:21 AM on April 21, 2009


potomac avenue,
the link now goes to a 403. i think it was better that i miss it.
posted by the aloha at 11:21 AM on April 21, 2009


Well it's gone now, I guess they realized their mistake. I'm tempted to let it go but it was a really stupid and petty so here is what it looked like:

WRONG WRONG E CARDS, JUST WRONG
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:24 AM on April 21, 2009 [16 favorites]


The comments to that post are still live, apparently. Which is different.
posted by paisley henosis at 11:26 AM on April 21, 2009


Heh, well, I remembered criminology, but got the context exactly backwards. Oh well.
posted by Malor at 11:28 AM on April 21, 2009


Holy fucking crow. Especially the not-sly "Oh, and you can see what his kids look like" bit of nasty winking. Ugh.
posted by Skot at 11:30 AM on April 21, 2009


Nice catch, Potomac Avenue.


Altogether now, everybody.....

CHRIST, WHAT AN ASSHOLE!
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:30 AM on April 21, 2009


Does he offer a card suitable for over-reaction?
posted by cairnish at 11:36 AM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


Wow. When I thought about the kind of mind that would come up with all those cards, I originally thought "Quirky, slightly odd, maybe a tiny bit paranoid." As it turns out, you could replace "maybe a tiny bit" with "holyfuckingbatshitinsane-should-be-on-meds" and get somewhat closer to the truth.

I feel bad now for having linked to the site.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:37 AM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


Maybe this one?
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:38 AM on April 21, 2009


cairnish,
he just made a new one:

"i think threatening other people on the internet is not only fun, but it is good for business."

(ouch, i am so wrong.)
posted by the aloha at 11:39 AM on April 21, 2009


Wow, that was weird. Way to screw up some free publicity, ecard guy.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:40 AM on April 21, 2009


For what it's worth, a friend of mine writes for someecards, and they seem to be pretty alright folks. You can probably assume that they won't try to have anonymous internet hordes harrass your children. So they've got that going for them.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:43 AM on April 21, 2009 [6 favorites]


Dr-Baa, how about this one?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:50 AM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


But you guys, WE are an anonymous internet horde! :D Except we usually understand words so we wouldn't have thought Coldchef was trying to steal our business.

Also, the way he keeps using Coldchef's name reminds me of the dippy unicorns in Planet Unicorn (Chaaaarrrrrlliiieee).
posted by spec80 at 11:50 AM on April 21, 2009 [2 favorites]


Kris just updated his blog:
One of the people I work with called me infuriated that someone was boasting of stealing our content for his profit online.

That made me sick but not as sick until I read his blog post about it here. I unpublished that immediately and explained to him that real criminals don't advertise this sort of thing and that he was being a goat. The end. Hope nobody was offended. I have no wish to see anyone's name come up in Google results for goofing around on the web. Suppress for the guy's sake by all accounts. God save me from my friends.
Awesome: Now an imaginary friend is responsible for his spastic freakout. He seems to be ignoring the screencap that shows the blog entry linked above was posted under his name.
posted by fatbird at 11:57 AM on April 21, 2009 [3 favorites]


Wow, that is some seriously psychotic shit there.
posted by dead cousin ted at 11:57 AM on April 21, 2009


One of the people I work with called me infuriated that someone was boasting of stealing our content for his profit online.

That made me sick but not as sick until I read his blog post about it here. I unpublished that immediately and explained to him that real criminals don't advertise this sort of thing and that he was being a goat. The end. Hope nobody was offended. I have no wish to see anyone's name come up in Google results for goofing around on the web. Suppress for the guy's sake by all accounts. God save me from my friends.
So, now you are pawning this all off onto your "friend," who published some nonsense on your weblog, under your byline. And not, by the way, actually admitting that CC didn't even joke about stealing your shitty content.

For the record, if I ever find myself with the opportunity to fraudulently sell anything produced by wrongcards as my own, I promise that I shall do so, and keep all the money for myself.
posted by paisley henosis at 11:59 AM on April 21, 2009


Oh, apparently there was a [more inside]. Full text is:
One of the people I work with called me infuriated that someone was boasting of stealing our content for his profit online.

That made me sick but not as sick until I read his blog post about it here. I unpublished that immediately and explained to him that real criminals don't advertise this sort of thing and that he was being a goat. The end. Hope nobody was offended. I have no wish to see anyone's name come up in Google results for goofing around on the web. Suppress for the guy's sake by all accounts. God save me from my friends.

Bless you all, I am grateful when you stop by, and we have made endless amount of friends through wrongcards. At the end of the day the site is for you all. Plz forgive when our judgment is wrong.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:13 PM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know, the cards may be funny, but seeing the site owner's reaction and blaming game, I feel it would be better if this post was deleted. That way the dickhead doesn't get any more hits from us.
posted by splice at 12:16 PM on April 21, 2009


There are a lot of funny ones here, but this one actually made me laugh out loud.

Hey thanks quin, I wouldn't have clicked thru to see that; my brother was coincidentally in the hospital from a cat bite, he'll be quite amused.
posted by sammyo at 12:28 PM on April 21, 2009


Go cortex go!
posted by ocherdraco at 12:33 PM on April 21, 2009 [6 favorites]


Heh, crazy Internet dipshit should read this before starting in on the MeFi crowd with weird half-assed blame obfuscation. Hopefully he starts a twitter campaign next.
posted by mrmojoflying at 12:35 PM on April 21, 2009


Metatalk thread on the subject, for the record.
posted by cortex at 12:41 PM on April 21, 2009


I almost made a joke myself about ripping off his stuff because of the "gay-ass" one. I'd have a part in my hair from that dodged bullet, if I still had hair.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:41 PM on April 21, 2009


What I meant to say is that I don't know ColdChef from Adam, but I've seen him be the most remarkably decent, humane, and stand up MeFi member in both his words and actions. He definitely does not deserve the indignity of having this go any further.
posted by mrmojoflying at 12:42 PM on April 21, 2009


Today's Dinocomix is about e-cards.
posted by grobstein at 12:56 PM on April 21, 2009


Heh. I just sent him a message saying basically, No hard feelings, but...um...relax.

The internet is a weird place. I don't blame him for freaking out that someone wanted to steal his work (which, as has been pointed out...no one was ever going to), so, yeah. He overreacted a tad, but let's not dwell on it.

We all make mistakes. And that's one to grow on.
posted by ColdChef at 12:57 PM on April 21, 2009 [3 favorites]


Awesome: Now an imaginary friend is responsible for his spastic freakout.

He's also probably "low on sleep," as of late. He's likely to offer us a free donation any day now.
posted by ericb at 1:02 PM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


Nice post of a site that gives huge add space to scott hunter's google link scam.
posted by srboisvert at 1:08 PM on April 21, 2009


The best thing about this is that the site is just filled with "HEH SO RANDOM" crap that you couldn't pay me to send, let alone the other way around.
posted by SamuelBowman at 1:12 PM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


Back in the 70s, there was something something similar: Potshots.
posted by eye of newt at 1:16 PM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


He's also probably "low on sleep," as of late. He's likely to offer us a free donation any day now.

I bet he's got the "it was an experiment for a sociology class" blog post all teed up.
posted by fatbird at 1:26 PM on April 21, 2009


Most of these are pretty lame. I was expecting more along the lines of goatse or 2 girls 1 cup sort of wrong, not what if christopher robins shot pooh, or what if you got drunk, doods.
posted by garlic at 1:28 PM on April 21, 2009


Fun link! I belong to a greeting card group and "anti greeting cards" are often a topic of much discussion.
posted by Calzephyr at 2:55 PM on April 21, 2009


We all make mistakes. And that's one to grow on.
Posted by ColdChef


....Sir, you are a true gentleman and a scholar, and now I am not only grateful, I am PROUD to have met you.

(Stands and salutes)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:43 PM on April 21, 2009


Heh. I just sent him a message saying basically, No hard feelings, but...um...relax.

You know, this is the sort of stuff why if there is a heaven, ColdChef will be there in the end. Most of us would have basically wanted to punch this guy in the nose and ColdChef, he wanted to make sure the guy's feelings weren't hurt.

I admit that I am feeling a little inadequate right now.
posted by caddis at 5:09 PM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


As always, Coldchef is a stand-up fella. This Kris guy, well, the jury is still out.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:20 PM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


Funny, the first card I noticed on the site was the I like you even more than toast card, which has almost the same wording as a Mr. T Experience song, MoreThan Toast. [warning: godawful lyrics site]

Coincidences happen. Also, people in glass houses might want to watch what they do with their rock collection.
posted by lekvar at 6:38 PM on April 21, 2009 [1 favorite]


I just sent him a message

Was it an ecard message? One of these would be good.
posted by naoko at 7:50 PM on April 21, 2009


Just want everyone to know that I got a very contrite and sincere apology email from the wrongcard site owner. He was already having a bad day and he unleashed his wrath in a very poorly thought out way. I assured him that I would ask MetaFilter to douse its torches and sheathe its pitchforks for another day, but he should consider being a little less quick with the GoogleBombing next time. Big ups to cortex and all fellow MeFites who had my back. Represent!
posted by ColdChef at 7:50 PM on April 21, 2009 [2 favorites]


Just out of curiosity, did he admit, then, that he wrote the blog post, and not some unnamed underling?
posted by jacquilynne at 7:57 PM on April 21, 2009


Manfully played, ColdChef. You are an Averter of Internet Drama. Kudos.
posted by Barry B. Palindromer at 8:00 PM on April 21, 2009


Just out of curiosity, did he admit, then, that he wrote the blog post, and not some unnamed underling?

No. From what he told me, he shares (or used to share up until this kerfuffle) admin rights with a friend who overstepped the lines of appropriateness. I have no reason to doubt this was the case. kris seemed like a nice guy who wasn't planning on dealing with this kind of thing when he woke up this morning.
posted by ColdChef at 8:00 PM on April 21, 2009


Go cortex go!

Fuck Cortex (no offence intended), Go Coldchef (especially the PS note). :-)
posted by Nice Guy Mike at 8:30 PM on April 21, 2009


I prefer to repurpose cards from the less popular sections at the Hallmark store for my own twisted needs. Divorce announcements used as graduation cards? Why, new beginnings can be challenging but full of possibilities. Keep up the good work on your weight loss, as a birthday card for the friend who was never overweight. And you can never, ever go wrong with a sparkly princess card with the crown for the recipient to punch out and wear. Not even when you are using it to express condolences for the loss of a family member.
posted by little e at 9:55 PM on April 21, 2009 [2 favorites]


If anyone's having trouble reading the comments on the original site blog like me, cortex's slapdown (and coldchef's more measured response) are available here.
posted by ArkhanJG at 1:00 AM on April 22, 2009


Or, you know, were, before they weren't anymore.
posted by cortex at 7:01 AM on April 22, 2009


Hmmm...I don't know. This new ecard seems oddly specific.
posted by ColdChef at 7:24 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Yes, but really it should say "I'm sorry because now I look like a douchebag".
posted by sandraregina at 11:24 AM on April 22, 2009


New weblog post:
Sighs
By kris on April 22nd, 2009

Yesterday a friend who helps administer the site fired off a crazy rant at a user of a popular forum. I have this strange suspicion that he has some sort of problem with this forum, like he's sure they collectively murdered his mother or something. I don't understand this type of behaviour. I spent all yesterday trying to work it out. We have a couple of administrators and any of them can post as me or any other name they want, but I guess my name is selected by default. I'm sure he didn't think he was causing me harm. I don't think that's how crap like this gets started. I take full responsibility for it though, and I unpublished that rant within minutes, but it was too late. It's hard to get good help in this world. Especially free help. It may also seem weird to any reader that I didn't even know there was a comments section turned on on the blog page. I think it's recent, the past month or two, but it's invisible whenever I'm logged in. Mostly I just talk about rubbish so I don't expect comments to appear anyway. I got all the comments people wrote yesterday via email and thought they were emailing me via the contact form. Some of them were too abusive to keep. I wound up working out how to turn it off. I'll probably shut down the blog in a few days and just do visual art in future. I don't have much ability in blogging and it takes a lot of time.

So I create the wrongcards. I write boring essays about philosophy in the blogs, but I don't spend much time at this site. I'm sorry people were upset. The offended party turned out to be cool though, and the guilty party won't be having anything to do with wrongcards in future. I have slow mood swings and I don't comprehend these people who get so angry at other people over nothing, even when it's allegedly in my defense. But I'm strangely not that disappointed and I think this type of person who overreacts to imaginary offenses is a phenomenon that a lot of people will be familiar with. Some people love to be angry, they're just walking around looking for a reason.

For months I've also been getting these emails about how I disrespect Jesus - it's been going on for a while now and I'm getting jaded about negative feedback.

But I can see how these people were praising us then felt like they were attacked for no good reason, and I imagine they must have felt that the happy-go-lucky creator of the wrongcard was ungracious. That's reasonable from their perspective. Second thing, I can't help appreciating that an online community rallied around one of its members, because most just tear each other to shreds all day. From my perspective I felt that some good traffic came along, and then something I could not foresee happened to spoil the entire day for me, as well as the poor guy who got ranted at. At least he and I share a similar sense of humour (UPDATE: At risk of being hated by people without one I just did him a card ... heh). I'm not superstitious but I'm only half joking when I say that perhaps this site is jinxed, maybe its the wrongcards with dead birds on them. Things like that upset people. Maybe those guys are right and Jesus really disapproves of this stuff after all. If you still think I'm evil then I can't do anything about it anymore. Some people are just going to be angry anyway, just like some people are going to be depressed or elated - they'll just find their reasons where they can. Those who are angry just won't be coming back here.
I don't know about the rest of you, but this strikes me as the exact opposite of how this post should read. Frankly, I think shutting up would have been better than to keep picking the scab, and playing the "it wasn't me" and "I'm such a victim of this being talked about" cards.

And the new stupid card is downright insulting.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:25 PM on April 22, 2009


Also, it looks like the entire commenting system on the weblog has been totally removed. I could be wrong, but it certainly isn't where it was yesterday.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:29 PM on April 22, 2009


Paisley, in the related Metatalk thread, ColdChef says that the new card was his idea.
posted by Skot at 12:29 PM on April 22, 2009


Oh, so it was.

Sorry, I just have an incredibly sour taste in my mouth, between the initial asshattery and the follow-up wishy-washy nonsense. I'll try to be quiet now, though.
posted by paisley henosis at 12:33 PM on April 22, 2009


Yeah, I dunno, I'm feeling okay about the guy. I buy that it was his friend, I buy that a lot of the weirdness comes from a confluence of misplaced trust and crap communication. He seems to have been genuinely wanting to make good with ColdChef and has been a good sport on what had to have been one shit rollercoaster of a day.
posted by cortex at 12:55 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: initial asshattery and the follow-up wishy-washy nonsense.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:58 PM on April 22, 2009


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