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A boy named Sue and a girl named Marijuana Pepsi
April 22, 2009 9:06 AM   Subscribe

By high school, her name was cool to many. "They were like, 'Oh yeah. Man, I wish I had your name. I love that. I'm going to name my kid after you.' I hear that so much and I go, Lord, please don't do that to that child." --Marijuana Pepsi Jackson [via]

Just like Winner and Loser Lane, bad names really don't have an impact on your life.
posted by jaimev (177 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
I prefer marijuana and Dr Pepper, but that is still completely awesome.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:10 AM on April 22, 2009


Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"

-- Johnny Cash / Shel Silverstein, A Boy Named Sue
posted by Afroblanco at 9:10 AM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


I knew this guy who named his brand-new baby boy Beige Likecola Cristostomo. Hand to God.

People, they are teh crazy.
posted by Pecinpah at 9:13 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


bad names really don't have an impact on your life.

What?! Regardless of the fact that you drew a bizarre conclusion from one instance (in which the name did in fact have quite an impact), this is an interesting story and I'm glad you posted it.
posted by languagehat at 9:13 AM on April 22, 2009


I wonder who's doing the hula in Hawaii these days....
posted by Afroblanco at 9:14 AM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


"...a lot of family members and best buds call her Pepsi."

She must have Canadian friends.
posted by gman at 9:15 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Complain all you like, I'm still naming my child Tarzan Roachclip.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:16 AM on April 22, 2009 [10 favorites]


I can't tell you many times I've overheard her name dropped in conversation here in Milwaukee...
posted by jon_hansen at 9:16 AM on April 22, 2009


"best buds"

heh.
posted by ocherdraco at 9:17 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


I wonder if Adolf Hitler Campbell will grow up into an school teacher/post-doc
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:18 AM on April 22, 2009


And I wonder if her and Hitler 1.0 share a birthday.
posted by gman at 9:19 AM on April 22, 2009


Oh man, if someone tries to fuck with her family, this is going to be one AWESOME revenge-movie.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:19 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Marijuana Pepsi Blue Jackson?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 9:20 AM on April 22, 2009


I wonder if Adolf Hitler Campbell will grow up into an school teacher/post-doc?

For the love of God if he shows an interest in art, humor him.
posted by joe lisboa at 9:24 AM on April 22, 2009 [82 favorites]


Parent Jackass Jones
posted by Nelson at 9:25 AM on April 22, 2009


From the Winner and Loser link:
The data show that, on average, a person with a distinctively black name—whether it is a woman named Imani or a man named DeShawn—does have a worse life outcome than a woman named Molly or a man named Jake. But it isn't the fault of his or her name. If two black boys, Jake Williams and DeShawn Williams, are born in the same neighborhood and into the same familial and economic circumstances, they would likely have similar life outcomes. But the kind of parents who name their son Jake don't tend to live in the same neighborhoods or share economic circumstances with the kind of parents who name their son DeShawn. And that's why, on average, a boy named Jake will tend to earn more money and get more education than a boy named DeShawn. DeShawn's name is an indicator—but not a cause—of his life path.
Emphasis mine. In other words, "ethnic" names reflect the living situation, but I'd say are common enough that they are common in their own way. Marijuana Pepsi Jackson is very distinct, to the point of many people not believing her. She had to fight for recognition and belief when she met people, where as DeShawn or Jake would be nothing unusual in particular areas.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:25 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh my god she's from Beloit.

*facepalm*

she seems awesome, but I can't help but wonder about her parents
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:26 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


DeNiece and DeNephew.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 9:27 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I like the idea of naming a child after the things you consume most.

My next kid's going to be Twizzler Macallan.
posted by brain_drain at 9:27 AM on April 22, 2009 [10 favorites]


I've claimed naming rights for my first-born son's middle name. It will be Muscles. Or maybe even "Muscles". I will tie weights (small ones, I'm not a monster!) to his little baby arms and will make him do push-ups every day.

On the first day of kindergarten, I will dress him in a toddler-sized sleeveless t-shirt and will draw a full beard on him with magic marker. His first interaction with children his age will be suplexing them.

I will be on hand with a video camera because I'm sure that will be the last day anyone even half sane will leave a child in my care. But seriously, a 'roided up five-year old hefting other kids in his meaty arms and hurling them through school desks? That's worth a lifetime of parenting right there.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:29 AM on April 22, 2009 [32 favorites]


This makes me feel better about my own middle name which is:

A) A verb

B) A command

C) Spelled wrong
posted by The Whelk at 9:31 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


The Phuk Whelk?
posted by joe lisboa at 9:33 AM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Kneill?
posted by Afroblanco at 9:34 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Ben Dover Whelk.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:36 AM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


I really wish Afroblanco was engaged in comic exaggeration there.
posted by The Whelk at 9:39 AM on April 22, 2009


There was a kid who went to my high school named Coke Dick. I never had the nerve to ask him how his parents could not have anticipated the issues inherent with this name.

Additionally, there was a boy who went to a neighboring school named Jamaica Honky. Again, why would you do this to your kid?
posted by orville sash at 9:40 AM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


This is wonderfully hilarious. Totally stupid but great.

I also love this quote from the principal:

"They could make a movie about her," he said. "I could almost write a book on Marijuana myself in terms of a young student who's been so resilient and taken even her name and made it into a positive. We're so very proud of her. She's exactly what any kid in America needs to know about someone who can truly make it if they put their mind to it."


So, um, what would that movie consist of? Her confrontations with person after person about her wack job name? I hope they cast "The Rock" in yet another inspiring "based on true events" style film that he is so damn good at.
posted by RajahKing at 9:40 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


A recent BBC piece 'Most unfortunate names' revealed received several comments on its website, ranging in tone from amused to embittered, from people with such names as Jo King, Daisy Picking, Sue Mee (a lawyer married to a banker called Rob Mee), and, worst of all, Jenny Taylor.
posted by Doktor Zed at 9:45 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


There was a kid in my school who got a lot of teasing because his last name was Dick. But the REALLY bad teasing began when people learned his parents' first names: Harry and Anita.

I SHIT YOU NOT.
posted by educatedslacker at 9:46 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


If we had less inertia and fewer bundles of paperwork for friction, I'd suggest that people regularly get to choose new names throughout their lives, if only get away from dippy moves like this. It seems to be mostly viewed as flaky now.

I'm in the "weird name club." Having an unusual name, especially one where the individual names have other meanings in English, can be a drag, especially people's reactions. "Come again?" is the most polite. Less so are "You're kidding, right?" "Is that your stage name?" and "Did you pick that out yourself?" The saddest is a slightly mortified pause, followed by "Oh. I'm sorry."

Pick a funny name? That joke will have gotten old by the time the child is seven. Can you rhyme something nasty with it? Can it pass the tests of cruel kindergarteners, vicious and verbally precocious tweens, and the failed slyness of ignorant twentysomethings? How is that name going to look when your child is fifty?

Parents, don't give your kids cute names or heavy duty family names. The burden of whatever point you're trying so hard to make will be borne by five year olds who do not understand whatever it is you are attempting to accomplish.
posted by adipocere at 9:51 AM on April 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


Over two semesters and a summer, she earned her master's degree from Georgia Southern University and moved back to Beloit with her son in May. She plans to fund a scholarship bearing her unique name.

The Marijuana Pepsi Scholarship... somehow I think a lot of students are going to apply for that one.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:54 AM on April 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K, born to Evelyn and Kendall at 9:10 p.m, Saturday, February 15, 2003.

Greatest name EVAR.
posted by GuyZero at 9:57 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


A school friend of mine lost a bet once, and is now honour-bound to name his first son "Shovel".

He thinks we won't hold him to it.
posted by teresci at 9:59 AM on April 22, 2009 [7 favorites]


Oooh, i love crazy baby names threads. While perusing the Alberta baby names of 2008 I came across Anarchy and Tyranny. It doesn't say, but I sure hope the girls were twins.
posted by saucysault at 10:00 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


A friend-of-a-friend once ran home from school crying because a kid in her class had made fun of her name (Meredith).

"That's not very nice!" her mom said. "What's his name?"

"*sob* Dicky Wackle!"
posted by Madamina at 10:02 AM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


I like the idea of naming a child after the things you consume most.

My next kid's going to be Twizzler Macallan.


But please tell me you don't wash down the first with the second. That would border on sacrilege.
posted by VicNebulous at 10:02 AM on April 22, 2009


If we had less inertia and fewer bundles of paperwork for friction, I'd suggest that people regularly get to choose new names throughout their lives, if only get away from dippy moves like this. It seems to be mostly viewed as flaky now.

I've always thought it kind of odd that choosing a new name for yourself isn't a part of coming of age. On the other hand, if I'd renamed myself when I was a teenager, I'd probably regret it now.
posted by teresci at 10:03 AM on April 22, 2009


There's always the Frank Zappa story where he wanted to name his kid Dweezil, but the nurse refused to do it, so Frank made up some names and put them on the birth certificate: Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa.

When Dweezil was five, he found all this out and insisted that his name be legally changed to Dweezil.

It's not that surprising, really, considering that's what they had been calling him his whole life.
posted by eye of newt at 10:08 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Imagine how my eye doctor was addressed as a child.
posted by gman at 10:16 AM on April 22, 2009


All this way and no one has thought "Name of the Year winner for sure"? I mean, she's no Assumption Bulltron, but come on, people!
posted by battlebison at 10:16 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


My parents veteranian was named Dr. Hotvet. I don't think he had any choice about his profession.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:28 AM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


There's an OB/GYN on my girlfriend's side of the family: Dr. Hole, and I wish I were kidding.
posted by joe lisboa at 10:29 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Here's the proof. People always think I'm lying.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:30 AM on April 22, 2009


Anarchy and Tyranny can be Ann and Ty for short. I'm fond of "safety" nicknames being available for those with weirder names, because being embarrassed enough by your weird name to go by "K" instead is rather sad. Personally, I think Talula is an interesting, nice name. The rest of it is a bit much, and a pain in the arse for those bubble-in-your-name forms.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:30 AM on April 22, 2009


On the opposite end of the spectrum, when I lived in Pasadena TX, (southeast of Houston) I knew two kids whose given legal first names were Bubba and Junior.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:30 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


From the always-helpful Yahoo Answers: Should I name my son Optimus Prime?
posted by rottytooth at 10:33 AM on April 22, 2009


I still think Seven Sirius Benjamin is a pretty awesome name.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:42 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


From the always-helpful Yahoo Answers: Should I name my son Optimus Prime?

No, but you should name him Optimus Chyme.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:44 AM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


In high school, there was a water polo coach named Dan Drown. He had the varsity team swim a ridiculous number of laps of butterfly stroke one day, without warning, to beat the old school record for most butterfly laps.
posted by filthy light thief at 10:44 AM on April 22, 2009


Thread doesn't seem complete without mentioning the encyclopedic Utah Baby Namer, which has been chronicling strange-but-true Utah/Mormon baby names on the Web since 1996. I especially recommend their "Cream of the Crop"section, which does the heavy lifting for you. VulvaMae? Clitoris? Someone's been watching Seinfeld reruns.
posted by mosk at 10:45 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


What's wrong with Jenny Taylor?
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 10:45 AM on April 22, 2009


Nothing at all! Both kinds are great.
posted by Aquaman at 10:49 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


If you've missed it, be sure to peruse the travesties of the baby-naming process in this post about stupid baby names.
posted by Zack_Replica at 10:51 AM on April 22, 2009


If you're nine years old, it sounds like "genitalia."
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 10:51 AM on April 22, 2009


As the bearer of a somewhat unusual (but not deliberately ridiculous) name, I can testify that it may have been a trial at times during my childhood, but it's nothing but awesome now. There are still occasional difficulties when introducing myself at parties (I give everyone a free pass to call me Devin once, since that's what they invariably hear). The weird part is that the only other people who share my name that I've ever met (2, so far) have been women, which is odd since the meaning of Bevan comes from "son of Evan". Ah well..
posted by FatherDagon at 10:55 AM on April 22, 2009


My father taught special education in an inner-city high school.

One of his students was named...

Well, the name was pronounced "ah-scholl-lee" Brown.

But it was spelled, "Asshole Brown."

I've always wondered what he got up to in his life, but I'm afraid to Google his name.
posted by BrianBoyko at 10:55 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Hmm, Chyme has a nice sound to it. 1% of people will know what it means, so no harm. Plus, fate would then push him/her to a career in gastroenterology.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:57 AM on April 22, 2009


At least they didn't name her Christian.
posted by yeti at 10:58 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


What's wrong with Mary Jane? And, um, Cola, I guess... because Pepsi is foul.
posted by Artw at 11:00 AM on April 22, 2009


I used to tutor math to grade schoolers. I wouldn't believe it if I didn't do it myself, but I swear to you: I taught a kid named Bile Cumer. Spelled that way, pronounced completely different.
posted by battlebison at 11:04 AM on April 22, 2009


The Jiffy Lube Kid says: Girls names should be flowers and gems. Boys names should be
shop tools and American cars.
posted by doctorschlock at 11:05 AM on April 22, 2009


A friend of a friend recently named his first-born son "Memphis Danger Jackson".

"Danger" is his middle name.

*facepalm*
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:06 AM on April 22, 2009 [5 favorites]


Growing up we knew a girl named Celeste Teal, which is cheesy, but I guess could have been a lot worse.
posted by snofoam at 11:06 AM on April 22, 2009


Haironfire Pepsi Jackson would be an even cooler name.
posted by ericbop at 11:07 AM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


Well, the name was pronounced "ah-scholl-lee" Brown.

But it was spelled, "Asshole Brown."


And of course there's the name pronounced "shi-thead", spelled without the hyphen.
posted by inigo2 at 11:10 AM on April 22, 2009


I'll have them all beat when I name my kid Call Childservices.
posted by naju at 11:14 AM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


I think a weird name is good for you. Sure you get teased when your a kid, but that is going to happen any way and you learn not to judge people for stupid shit like what they were named. I've thought about naming my kids from other ethnicities than my own, just so they'll understand the world a little better. Akira, Deshawn, Santiago they are all cool names.
posted by afu at 11:15 AM on April 22, 2009


Herschel Walker, asked how he built and maintained his physique without spending hours in the gym, explained that, until about age 15, he thought his name was "Get Wood".
posted by Mister_A at 11:17 AM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]




Robert'); DROP TABLE Students
posted by Artw at 11:19 AM on April 22, 2009


"I've always thought it kind of odd that choosing a new name for yourself isn't a part of coming of age."

Speak for yourself. One of the best things about being Catholic.
posted by jock@law at 11:21 AM on April 22, 2009


I always wondered if Cokie Roberts had a sister named "Pepsi."
posted by Floydd at 11:22 AM on April 22, 2009


"Matt Doar" = "doormat" or "matador". Tends to stick in customer's minds these days. Haven't heard a new comment on it for years. My wife wouldn't let us name our third child "Humi Doar".
posted by mdoar at 11:23 AM on April 22, 2009


My little brother went to elementary school with a kid named Molester, pronounced "maul•ester".
posted by interrobang at 11:24 AM on April 22, 2009


In my former job I often ran across odd-to-us sounding 19th and 18th century names like Patience, Shadrach, etc.

I did find two siblings from around the 1880's. Surname was Snow and their first names names were Frost and Ice. They had a couple other siblings with names like Robert and Elizabeth.

I also found a Civil War soldier with the first name "Anguish."

My former boss swears he found a family in the census records that had like 15 kids and the last one was named "Abcdef." I guess they got tired of thinking up names.
posted by marxchivist at 11:25 AM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Oh, and I went to high school with a girl named "Jeanne Poulle". I don't remember the exact spelling of her last name, though.
posted by interrobang at 11:29 AM on April 22, 2009


My friend Gloria was called Glory by her family and close associates. She married a man named Hoel.

I once met a woman named Aquanette. The final "e" is not silent, which only seems to add meter without reducing the weird.
posted by joaquim at 11:29 AM on April 22, 2009


My wife wouldn't let us name our third child "Humi Doar".

Your second child is named Screen, though, right?
posted by inigo2 at 11:31 AM on April 22, 2009


Speak for yourself. One of the best things about being Catholic.


Yes, because you get to call yourself after the stupidest saint's name you can think (one of my friends came up with Athenaseus the Athenite).

I knew a woman who after she got divorced changed her name to Kasha Sera Sera (= K Sera Sera = Que Sera Sera).
posted by Infinite Jest at 11:33 AM on April 22, 2009


I came to this thread to make up weird names, but found I couldn't compete with the truth. Reality is much stranger than fiction.

Growing up there was one Harry Butts or Harry Buttes in our local phone book with a listed number. That poor bastard must have had a hundred calls a day from giggling grade-schoolers.
posted by loquacious at 11:34 AM on April 22, 2009


Your second child is named Screen, though, right?

As I said, "haven't heard a new comment on it for years". But since you ask, he's called Jake. Nearly "jackdaw" but not quite. My car has the license plate 4 DOARS. You can work out what's on the minivan that we had to get after the third kid.
posted by mdoar at 11:36 AM on April 22, 2009


I have a friend whose last name is "Bakin" (pronounced the same as the delicious breakfast anytime treat -- bacon). When I first met him, I said "hah! you should become a cop!" and he said "actually, my dad's a Sergeant".

True story. Not sure if it counts in this thread, though.
posted by revmitcz at 11:38 AM on April 22, 2009


I'm surprised nobody's linked to this Slate piece about aptronyms yet.

According to the family scuttlebutt1, my cousin wants to name his daughter-on-the-way Maple. Now, Maple's not a terribly unattractive name, although I keep thinking of it as a great name for a poodle. However.

My cousin's last name is Lieff (pronounced leaf). Yes, he wants to name his daughter Maple Lieff. And yes he lives in Toronto and yes he does like hockey. Why do you ask? Thank God his wife has overruled him on that one, I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face.

1: Usual disclaimers about family scuttlebutt's veracity apply.
posted by Lemurrhea at 11:41 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


When I was a kid there was a listing in our phone book for "Simplicio Tampon." We called that guy so many times and just giggled on our end of the phone. I also used to work with a guy named Sandeep Dikshit. A friend of mine married a man named Preston Clay. She named her son Dustin, and bless her, she didn't even consider how it sounded.

But Marijuana Pepsi is a whole new kind of crazy.
posted by routergirl at 11:45 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


My sister in-laws original last name is Bacon, but now that they're married her initials are HAM.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 11:49 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


My kids' high school has had some keepers...

- Bright Oh
- Shimmery Jones
- and a girl with the first name Fajita

Wish I could remember some others.
posted by VicNebulous at 11:52 AM on April 22, 2009


Man, I'm loving the fact that someone on that Utah names page named their kid "Hereditary."

I wonder if there's a "Hereditary Jr."
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:59 AM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


"I've always thought it kind of odd that choosing a new name for yourself isn't a part of coming of age."

Speak for yourself. One of the best things about being Catholic.


Choice and Catholicism don't always go together. When I was 7, girls in my parish were told to choose either Anne or Mary as their Confirmation names, so Anne it was. Two years later, math class introduced the concept of squaring, and I was very sad at my missed opportunity to have a name including "^2".
posted by maudlin at 12:03 PM on April 22, 2009


A friend's parent's wanted to name her Misty Dawn. The nurse refused, saying she'd grow up to be a hooker. So they went with Misty Anne instead. Seems tame in comparison.

BrianBoyko, that's funny. I went to college with a guy who wanted to name his kid "asshole" just so every teacher would have to say it out loud during roll call. He imagined they'd go through great length to find an alternate pronouncement, only to hear his son correct them.
posted by ShadowCrash at 12:05 PM on April 22, 2009


There was a guy at my company named Randy Dickman.
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:06 PM on April 22, 2009


I worked in a restaurant kitchen with a guy named Salvatore Monella. We were forbidden (by the head chef, upon pain of messy frozen-fish bludgeoning) to call him Sal.
posted by elizardbits at 12:16 PM on April 22, 2009


Choice and Catholicism don't always go together. When I was 7, girls in my parish were told to choose either Anne or Mary as their Confirmation names, so Anne it was.

Woah... that's kinda early for confirmation. My parish did it around 13/14. Is it normal for confirmation to be that early? *looks around online* Huh. Well I guess our bishop was pretty old-school. I think it makes more sense at the later age, unless someone younger requests it.

I think Theresa would be a beautiful confirmation name for a girl. Mine is Michael, though I never use it really.
posted by jock@law at 12:19 PM on April 22, 2009


Interesting. A "black people have some crazy names" story that's actually true. That's got to be a first.
posted by electroboy at 12:20 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Rule #1: Don't name a baby. Name the adult human you hope that baby grows up to be.
posted by Herodios at 12:24 PM on April 22, 2009 [15 favorites]


I came to this thread to make up weird names, but found I couldn't compete with the truth. Reality is much stranger than fiction.

And Ruth is stranger than Richard (according to Robert Wyatt).
posted by Herodios at 12:25 PM on April 22, 2009


I'll be naming my boy Billy Rubin.
posted by SPrintF at 12:32 PM on April 22, 2009


My confirmation name (age 13) is Naphtali. I'm all sorts of awesome. My father swears he was in school with a boy whose last name was Bastard. Of course, in England at the time students were addressed by their last names in class.
posted by saucysault at 12:33 PM on April 22, 2009


Additionally, there was a boy who went to a neighboring school named Jamaica Honky. Again, why would you do this to your kid?

Maybe they figured it would sort of even out.
posted by sour cream at 12:34 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


For the first time, I feel a little guilty for all the crank calls I placed to the guy I found in the phonebook named Jamida Abdiasis all those years ago.
posted by mannequito at 12:37 PM on April 22, 2009


A friend of mine who is a teacher recently had a girl in her class named Veryspecialtome. Awwww. So sweetly horrible.
posted by otolith at 12:39 PM on April 22, 2009


"Very special tome? Wot, like the Necronomicon?"
posted by Artw at 12:44 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


I grew up with a little girl who's last name was Valentine. Her mom named her Candace and everyone called her Candy. Unfortunately she was born a strawberry blonde in the sense that her hair was naturally pink. Never stopped being funny.
posted by FunkyHelix at 12:46 PM on April 22, 2009


eye of newt talking about Dweezil Zappa reminded me of seeing Moon Zappa on Letterman years ago. Of course he asked about their names, and Moon told the story about how her brother Ahmet hated his name because the kids all called him "Ahmet vomit". So he insisted that everyone call him Rick - at which point the kids started calling him "Rick the dick". He switched back to Ahmet.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:55 PM on April 22, 2009


saucysault My father swears he was in school with a boy whose last name was Bastard. Of course, in England at the time students were addressed by their last names in class.

Reminds me of a joke:

A new chauffeur for the managing director reported for work one Monday morning. As the boss climbed into the back of the Rolls-Royce, he said, 'What's your name, driver?'

'Henry, sir," said the chauffeur.

'I don't call my chauffeur by his Christian name,' said the boss huffily. 'What's your surname?' 'Darling, sir.' 'Very well then, Henry - drive on,' said the boss.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 12:56 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


My mom works for a company that does school pictures -- for a while they had a running list of the most AMAZINGLY BAD names ever... I wonder what happened to it. And my childhood neighbor worked at a hospital, where someone actually named their baby Acetominophen. Man.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 1:10 PM on April 22, 2009


My father swears he was in school with a boy whose last name was Bastard.

Oh, yeah? Which of the other Young Ones was your father, then -- Ric, Mike, or Neil?
posted by Herodios at 1:13 PM on April 22, 2009


My kids will be named Senator and Atilla.
posted by tkchrist at 1:19 PM on April 22, 2009


I shall name him... shmegegge.com. Because, you know... free advertising.
posted by shmegegge at 1:26 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Drew Peacock goes where?
posted by qvantamon at 1:29 PM on April 22, 2009


Marijuana Pepsi Jackson is my NPR name.
posted by jeremy b at 1:29 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


Sorry to be late, but robocop is bleeding? My grandfather and his brother came through Ellis Island and his brother took the name "Muscles" as his middle name. So, erm, keep up that proud tradition, I guess.

Note: I've not seen any proof this actually happened, but I've heard awesome stories of it since childhood.
posted by Nabubrush at 1:31 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


My father swears he was in school with a boy whose last name was Bastard.

Probably from around Blandford St Mary?
posted by mdoar at 1:31 PM on April 22, 2009


I also recall a certain "Wayne King" in one school.
posted by mdoar at 1:31 PM on April 22, 2009


Ashfaq. So unfortunate...
posted by pantsrobot at 1:47 PM on April 22, 2009


"Danger" is his middle name.

I've been working on an old friend who is about to have his first child. He knew it was coming when I called him up and had the "talk" about what is in the best interests of giving his son a name he could be proud of, and I was pleased to see that he agreed that "Danger" would indeed be the perfect middle name, but he said that his wife wasn't convinced.

I worked on her later, and that's when I found out that while my buddy has to suffer with me, she had her own demon to confront. Thus, between the two horrible friends that they have, we have been working on seeing their firstborn named Rock'n'Roll Danger Fritz.

I think it must be something about Wisconsin that makes us do things like this.
posted by quin at 1:49 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


A long time ago I got busted for stealing English muffins, and spent the night in jail. In the cell next to mine there was a gay school teacher who was in for writing bad checks. In the cell next to his there was a redneck drunk who wouldn’t tell the cops his name. Every time they asked him he shouted, “My name is Sue, how do you do!” Every time he did that the gay guy would start crying and the cops would crack up.

That went on for 3 or 4 hours before the cops got tired of it.

The next morning we all went before the magistrate. I was last on the docket and the gay/teacher/check guy was right before me. It was his first offense so the judge just put him on probation and fined him court costs. So the guy is beside himself with glee and he blurts out, “Can I pay that with a check, your honor?”

After everyone stopped laughing I was called up for stealing English muffins.
posted by Huplescat at 1:50 PM on April 22, 2009 [5 favorites]


Come on, people, you know the rules. No secondhand stories about kids with crazy names. You have to have met the person in question before you're allowed to tell the story. I don't care how many kids your sister (who's a public school teacher) has taught named Oranjello, it didn't fucking happen.
posted by electroboy at 1:55 PM on April 22, 2009 [6 favorites]


Remember that 2.0 kid?
posted by gman at 2:06 PM on April 22, 2009


In my family we have (last names) Boogher and Dumbell.

The latter was a school teacher.
posted by Restless Day at 2:07 PM on April 22, 2009


It's not just people, but institutions- a local prep school recently changed their name. They were the Dummer Academy, named for Governor Dummer (head of Mass bay colony in the 1750's). They're now the Governor's Academy, which lacks panache, but probably helps around college admissions time.
posted by jenkinsEar at 2:21 PM on April 22, 2009


A long time ago I got busted for stealing English muffins,

Did you ever have that moment at a party, when you say something that makes sense in context, but it's at just the right moment when there is a lull in the noise, so everyone just hears the one line, and then they all stop and are looking at you expecting you to explain how those words you just said came to fit together like that?

This is one of those moments.
posted by quin at 2:25 PM on April 22, 2009 [9 favorites]


I wanted to name my son Wank Advil (me pregnant=insane). Alas, my plan was foiled. The boy grew up with a nice, normal name, but he does have a friend named Paycheck.
posted by Heretic at 2:34 PM on April 22, 2009


I once knew a guy who had about a dozen names on his birth certificate, but we called him Martin. I guess his parents just couldn't make up their minds, so they went with "all of the above." Everybody seemed to know him by a different given name, and they were all correct.

Anyway, Martin ran a small business that eventually failed, and much to our surprise he immediately opened a new one. Apparently he had skipped out on his debts by the simple expedient of using different combinations of his names when setting up each business. So while his old landlord was looking for a certain four-named guy who had stopped paying his lease and was in arrears, the same fellow had just signed a new lease with four different names on a shop about five blocks away. Same neighborhood, all legal names. A bankrupcy court would probably disagree, but it always seemed legal to us. (Albeit immoral.) If some creditor really did their homework they could find him, but no one ever did.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:37 PM on April 22, 2009


I'll never make fun of my friend for naming his son "Logan Tiberius" again.
posted by Aversion Therapy at 2:57 PM on April 22, 2009


I work in a school district and see plenty of fun and bizarre names in the student information database. My favorite so far:

FirstName: Precious
MiddleName: Love Forever
LastName: Moore
posted by DakotaPaul at 2:59 PM on April 22, 2009


I am currently classmates with a Vietnamese kid named Phuc Vu.
posted by Suparnova at 3:26 PM on April 22, 2009


She also sold real estate there. It was the one time in her life that she went by MP Sawyer professionally because the name Marijuana was freaking out the customers and causing her for-sale signs to be stolen as souvenirs.

Heh. Also, I knew somebody whose last name was 'Goff' and almost named his kid 'Jackson'. Jackson Goff -> Jack Goff....
posted by suedehead at 3:28 PM on April 22, 2009


one christmas my brothers & sisters & i were sitting around in the kitchen playing cards & talking when my mom walked in and said, 'fuckenstein.' we all froze for a second until one of us said, 'um, what?' my mom repeated, 'fuckenstein. they just had a story on the news about someone named fuckenstein.' we, of course, told her that she must be mistaken and that the name was foo-ken-stein or farquenstein or something like that, but she just kept shaking her head & saying, 'no! it was fuckenstein. FUCKenstein!'

i don't think my mom ever recovered from that one. i know i sure didn't.
posted by msconduct at 3:32 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


No mention of the kid who changed his name to "Trout Fishing in America"? I expected that 10 comments in.
posted by Ynoxas at 3:37 PM on April 22, 2009


The worst name my mother ever saw in her career as a maternity nurse (in Vermont) was Harlem Geto.

And yeah, it's Vermont, obviously this kid was white.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:47 PM on April 22, 2009


Well, I went to school with a boy named Chris Peacock. And later on I worked with a guy called Richard Pullar. I don't recall the obvious jokes being made about either name.
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 3:50 PM on April 22, 2009


I knew a girl named Spatula.
posted by cazoo at 3:53 PM on April 22, 2009


Can you rhyme something nasty with it? Can it pass the tests of cruel kindergarteners, vicious and verbally precocious tweens, and the failed slyness of ignorant twentysomethings?

Marge: Homer, I've been thinking, if the baby's a boy, what do you think
of the name Larry?
Homer: Marge, we can't do that! All the kids will call him `Larry Fairy'.
Marge: Well, how about Louie?
Homer: They'll call him `Screwy Louie'.
Marge: Bob?
Homer: `Flob'. [?]
Marge: Luke?
Homer: `Puke'.
Marge: Marcus?
Homer: `Mucus'.
Marge: What about Bart?
Homer: Let's see... Bart, Cart, Dart, Ee-art... Nope, can't see any problem
with that!
posted by 445supermag at 4:01 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I went to band camp with a Mike Hunt. And there was a poor girl in my middle school named B.J. This was a source of endless entertainment for the middle school boys. Even at 13 I wondered why anybody would do this to their child.

However-- I am familiar with the insanity that can come over you when you are trying to name a baby. We gave our daughter a name that is difficult to spell, difficult (for many people) to pronounce, and has a strong (perhaps inescapable) literary allusion. And with our last name, it makes her first and last initials "HO." This didn't seem like a big deal when she was mewling in her bassinet, but now I kinda wish I'd been more careful.

Name is Hermione - no need to be coy about it.
posted by jeoc at 4:03 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Rule #1: Don't name a baby. Name the adult human you hope that baby grows up to be.

This is a good rule. When I consider names for my future children, I think about a boy in the following scenarios:

#1) "And now, starting quarterback for the New England Patriots __________"
#2) Supreme Court Justice ____________

For girls it's different since there's the chance they could ditch the last name anyhow. I would definitely still try to have a name that sounded "right" as either a sports star or a supreme court judge, but mostly, I'd just aim for "not sounding like a hooker."
posted by grapefruitmoon at 4:06 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


I had a lecturer named Cockburn. For some bizarre reason, she pronounced it Coburn.

On that point, if you want your name pronounced significantly differently from how it is phonetically spelled, change it, or learn to live with the phonetic pronounciation.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 4:22 PM on April 22, 2009


I went to college with a Jasmine Appleberry and a Phoebe Dee. I also had a friend named Shira whose name sounded just like She-Ra. She got a lot of "Yeah, and I'm He-Man!" from guys who asked her for her name in bars. What's even more bizarre is that her parents names were Ken and Barbie, and He-Man/She-Ra didn't yet exist at the time she was born.
posted by jonp72 at 4:28 PM on April 22, 2009


It's probably a good thing I was ignorant of cusswords when I was young, else my dear family friends, the Pucketts, would've been something other than the Buckets.
posted by rubah at 4:31 PM on April 22, 2009 [1 favorite]


Marijuana Pepsi Jackson is very distinct, to the point of many people not believing her.

In Mitchell Duneier's book, Sidewalk, he tells the story of a black homeless man from New York whose real name was Robert F. Kennedy. He eventually had to stop divulging his real name to police officers, because most New York City cops would look at a black homeless guy claiming to be Robert F. Kennedy and send him to Bellevue for observation.
posted by jonp72 at 4:32 PM on April 22, 2009


There is a great neuroscientist who I've seen give several wonderful talks, but I always do a double take when I see his name come across an email or on a flyer... it's not pronounced how it reads (but of course can I ever remember the proper pronunciation? nooo...)
posted by NikitaNikita at 4:45 PM on April 22, 2009


On that point, if you want your name pronounced significantly differently from how it is phonetically spelled, change it, or learn to live with the phonetic pronounciation.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 4:22 PM on April 22 [+] [!]



List of names in English with counterintuitive pronunciations (Wikipedia):
Featherstonehaugh — /ˈfænʃɔː/ (FAN-shaw);
posted by 445supermag at 4:48 PM on April 22, 2009


My father swears he was in school with a boy whose last name was Bastard

Ask the next ob/gyn you meet for the most outrageous names people come up with for their kids. I've heard Placenta offered.

Then there's an old old joke of a woman who wanted to name the infant Wasserman Positive. (Can't quite recall the setup- something to do with reading her own medical records without understanding and liking the sound of it....)
posted by IndigoJones at 5:18 PM on April 22, 2009


NBC affiliate KSDK in St. Louis has a news anchor named Jennifer Blome; the e is silent, but can you imagine what highschool was like for her?
posted by Restless Day at 5:19 PM on April 22, 2009


On that point, if you want your name pronounced significantly differently from how it is phonetically spelled, change it, or learn to live with the phonetic pronounciation.

The Roman alphabet, motherfuckers. Do you speak it?

It'll be a cold day in Hell before I recognize "Rafe" Fiennes.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:34 PM on April 22, 2009 [3 favorites]


My boyfriend swears he went to high school with a girl named Shithead. Pronounced sheh-thayd, like Sinead. Poor girl.

Worst I know is a girl named Clio, middle name Patra.
posted by yellowbinder at 5:43 PM on April 22, 2009


The rule for naming our son is that the name had to work for a banker as well as the lead guitarist of a band. Hence, "John Liam". Can be "John L." or "Johnny Lee". We did have fun with coming up with bad baby names. There were the demagogues and despot names: "Osama bin" and "Tito Benito", the homicidal maniac name "Manson Gacy", the name I concocted off of the Goth baby name site: "Marmaduke Maelficius", the one that rhyme with or riff on our last name: "Herman" & "Tank".

Seriously though, I've heard that in many countries, the state has the power to overrule parents on naming their children. While there's a big part of me that rankles at the thought, I'm sure that little Marijuana Pepsi would have been grateful.
posted by echolalia67 at 5:58 PM on April 22, 2009


Seriously though, I've heard that in many countries, the state has the power to overrule parents on naming their children.

In Iceland, there's an official list. Seriously. You can not name a child a name not on the list if that child is to receive citizenship. When I was married to an Icelander, this gave me GREAT consternation as many of these names would equate child abuse for a child who spent half of his/her childhood in the United States, nevermind the fact that their own mother (that would be me) wouldn't have been able to pronounce their names correctly.

It also irked me that this was a nation that would deny me the right to name children after my own family who went and the unmitigated gall to be German. As if that wasn't white enough. My own grandmother's name (Marianne - closest English pronunciation and the spelling I would go with if I ever *do* use the name: Mariana), which I have thought about using, NOT ON THE LIST.

But, oh. I could name my child Snót. SNÓT. I could name my kid a word that refers, in English, to something that comes out of your nose, but NOT after a member of my immediate family.

Clearly, their economy could have benefited from a "You can use a name not on this list if you pay me $5" buy in. Had I remained married to an Icelander and produced children, I would have ponied up big time.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:20 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


I have met so many people whose loser parents were trying to be "creative" and gave them a perfectly usual name, except with crappy crappy spelling. Spelling my last name for people is trouble enough—if I had to spell my first name too, every time, by now I'd be on a quest to kill everyone in the world with edged weapons.

On the other hand, I would be totally cool with naming my kid Hazmat al-Wasabi. Just sayin'.
posted by eritain at 6:25 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


On the other hand, if I'd renamed myself when I was a teenager, I'd probably regret it now.

Nope.
posted by Mars Saxman at 6:52 PM on April 22, 2009


My boyfriend swears he went to high school with a girl named Shithead. Pronounced sheh-thayd, like Sinead. Poor girl.

Can we stop repeating this racist urban legend over and over again as fact until someone ponies up with proof? By the number of people who claim to know someone who knows someone named Shithead, it would have to be in the "top 500 girl names for certain-looked-down-upon class/ethnic population girls as recorded by the Social Security Administration" or something.

I've met a Tequila (with an Ivy League education), but no Shitheads or Oranjellos yet, and won't believe it until I do.
posted by availablelight at 6:53 PM on April 22, 2009 [4 favorites]


Featherstonehaugh — /ˈfænʃɔː/ (FAN-shaw)

That can't be right. I'm sure it's pronounced FUST-in-hoff.
posted by The Tensor at 7:06 PM on April 22, 2009


Went to school with a guy called Andrew Cock. Not so bad until the day a note was posted on the class noticeboard asking him to see the head of music, Andrew being a French Horn player and all:

"Miss French needs to see A. Cock immediately"

To a classroom of 13 year old boys, this was perhaps the funniest thing that we could ever even conceive of, let alone witness.
posted by tim_in_oz at 7:16 PM on April 22, 2009 [2 favorites]


I collect names from the Raleigh newspaper obits. One that really stuck with me recently was a woman named Placid. I can imagine all sorts of background stories-- perhaps her mother had a whole brood of kids and wanted one quiet one?

Another woman was named Ettaq-- I pronounce it Etta que in my head but maybe the q is silent? or pronounced like a K?

Some of my favorite names are feminine forms of traditional male names-- I always think they must be daughters named after dads-- such as Nelsie. Franquette could have been my name.

Then there are names that are "Only in the South" such as Olervure or Fronie or Omnolee or Thelbert or Jermove or Diqueena.

And what to make of Maleface?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:33 PM on April 22, 2009


My sister in-laws original last name is Bacon, but now that they're married her initials are HAM.

So her husband is Canadian, then?
posted by oaf at 8:59 PM on April 22, 2009


I know a Sal Minella, but that does not hold a candle to these names.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:10 PM on April 22, 2009


I had a teacher at high school whose first name was Shay and she married a guy with the last name King. At our end of year breakup, it was she who insisted on loudly singing the merry refrain, "Shay King all over!"
posted by h00py at 9:32 PM on April 22, 2009


Oh my god she's from Beloit.

You'd think that a Milwaukee columnist would understand which is the bigger stigma here.
posted by dhartung at 9:38 PM on April 22, 2009


I went to school with Peter Pan, Treasure Hunter and Winter Holiday. (The math teacher, as I recall, called Treasure "Precious" for most of the year.)
posted by hades at 9:54 PM on April 22, 2009


Local parents here have a 1 year old boy called Jedi. Surname: Strong.
posted by ninazer0 at 10:48 PM on April 22, 2009


A friend's dad is named Hyacinth. This is what happens when non-English-speaking parents attempt to pick a fancy English name for their kid.
posted by Xere at 11:24 PM on April 22, 2009


There are many, many reasons why I intend to never have a kid, but if I did, and it was a girl, I think "Felony" would be a lovely name.

This is probably one of the reasons, yes.
posted by rifflesby at 1:10 AM on April 23, 2009


Speaking of officially sanctioned names: Here in Norway the authorities frowned upon any unusual names until a few years ago - incidentally this was a pet peeve of mine. They relaxed quite a bit, I guess partly due to the influx of immigrants we've had since the 70s. I'm married to a foreigner myself, and we had quite a bit of trouble to find names that "work" in both languages for our two kids.
posted by Harald74 at 1:13 AM on April 23, 2009


When I was at the Linguistic Society of America Conference this last January in SF, I attended a fascinating talk hosted by the American Name Society. The speaker was Kem Roper, and her session was called "An analysis of distinctive African-American names." Her abstract/summary was as follows (copied from the LSA handbook, 2009):
This is an examination of the naming practices of individuals within certain African-American communities. Drawing on Mailloux's notion of cultural rhetoric as "the political effectivity of various tropes and argument in culture," I argue that the act of naming in many African-American cultures is a response to and mockery of mainstream cultural aesthetics. Some scholars have argued that distinctly "Black" names have detrimental economic effects on African-Americans; however, I extend that conversation by offering a cultural-rhetorical approach that sees names not as arbitrary signs but "symbolic mechanisms" of power and self-determination.

She focused a major portion of her argument on expanding the scope of this Levitt and Dubner chapter of Freakonomics. She added a whole new side to the data that absolutely must be considered, the specific sociohistorical context and identity construction that occurs and is indexed by the act of naming your child in this particular community.

I wish I could find more info about this, a link or something to share. Her talk was absolutely unbelievable. There were maybe 15 people in the small room, tops. Many of them clearly missed the point of her research, including one a-hole who wasted 4 of the 5 minutes of discussion time loudly dismissing her entire argument in a rather racist and disrespectful way. But her talk actually made me cry. I wanted to punch that guy in the face, and I almost did. All of this in a stuffy room of a silly hotel at a wordnerd conference. These are the gems that I desperately wish could be packaged up in internet form and added to FPPs like this.
posted by iamkimiam at 1:20 AM on April 23, 2009 [4 favorites]


My GP right now is Dr. Kwak. No, I'm not a happy patient.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:23 AM on April 23, 2009


Kem Roper's talk sounds fascinating. Think there's any chance she'd write an article on the subject for a general readership?
posted by ocherdraco at 5:20 AM on April 23, 2009


Although a newspaper reporter I knew named Ignatius Turdo comes close, the ultimate mind boggler in the "What Were They Thinking When They Named That Poor Kid Sweepstakes" was a girl who went to grade school with my sister.

Her name was Vaselina Lickett.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 5:28 AM on April 23, 2009


I'm all for unique and borderline silly names. How many more "Nick"s or "Joe"s does the world really need?

(note: my first and middle name are Nick and Joseph.)
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:59 AM on April 23, 2009


Re: Shithead, I wasn't aware of the racial urban legends surrounding it. Doing some quick research I see it's often brought up as a "LOLZ look what stupid black people name their babies" example.

This isn't the case in my example, it would have been an Irish girl in Newfoundland, who commonly went by a middle name, but the name Shithead was on the school list, so it often came up at the beginning of the year or when a substitute was in.

My boyfriend isn't prone to confabulation, nor is he LOLZ stupid Irish, so I'm inclined to believe him. However, I concede I have no proof, and my quick search didn't turn up any reputable listings of the name. But I certainly didn't bring it up to perpetuate racial stereotypes I was unaware of.
posted by yellowbinder at 6:30 AM on April 23, 2009 [1 favorite]


Both "a-schol-e" and "shi-thead" are long-time urban legends... I've met at least two people who swore their parents taught a "Shi-thead".

And interestingly enough, these kids are just always black.

Think for a moment. You don't just "name" a kid - lots of officials are involved, you need a birth certificate, probably a baptism certificate. You think a priest is going to baptize a kid "Asshole"?

(Or if you don't like my reasoning, Snopes also think it's a legend...)

I'd have a chat with your dad, were I you.

(Interestingly enough, one of the parents was the novelist Esther Friesner - and the kid was simply unable to entertain the idea that the parent wasn't being accurate, despite all sorts of evidence to the contrary. Humans!)
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 8:11 AM on April 23, 2009


On preview, I wasn't implying that commenters here mention race as an issue.

However, I assure you that the Newfoundland story is almost certainly false. In Newfoundland, a child would almost certainly have their name registered in three places: a provincial birth-certificate, a baptismal certificate, and with the Federal government to get a Social Insurance Number.

"Newfies" in Canada are the butt of the jokes that used to be told about Poles in the US. (Q: Why do Newfies have yellow semen? A: They don't know whether they're coming or going.) So it's no surprise this joke ends in Newfoundland when it's translated to Canada...
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 8:17 AM on April 23, 2009


Naw, we have Newfie jokes too. But we don't understand how you could peel smarties, or why you'd think there was chocolate in smarties.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:49 AM on April 23, 2009


I have a relative named Richard Nelson Cooter. He, for some unknown reason, has chosen to go by "Dick".

Dick N. Cooter. Gawd.
posted by tryniti at 10:11 AM on April 23, 2009


It's pronounced az-WEE-pay. Az-wee-pay!

You can not name a child a name not on the list if that child is to receive citizenship. When I was married to an Icelander, this gave me GREAT consternation as many of these names would equate child abuse for a child who spent half of his/her childhood in the United States, nevermind the fact that their own mother (that would be me) wouldn't have been able to pronounce their names correctly.

Foreign parents get a free pass on this, or they do now anyway. Foreigners in Iceland can give a child any name they please, and their child can still be a citizen.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 10:32 AM on April 23, 2009


For years my company's designated contact at our biggest customer was Phillip Head. No big deal, but he signed everything P. Head.

My cousin who lives nearby has in her class a little girl with a name pronounced "Ladasha." Unusual but hardly remarkable, except that it's spelled La-a.

I lived next door to a little boy named Courvoisier. His granny disapproved and called him Scooter instead. A co-worker named her daughter Wachovia.

For years my father's dentist was Dr. Stephen Fink, which apprently isn't even unusual. My ex-girlfriend's sister's dentist was Dr. Rape.

The local fishwrapper has a special subsite for looking up unusual baby names in Georgia.
posted by notashroom at 10:32 AM on April 23, 2009


"Pius Felator"

That is all.
posted by griphus at 2:02 PM on April 23, 2009


Foreign parents get a free pass on this, or they do now anyway. Foreigners in Iceland can give a child any name they please, and their child can still be a citizen.

Good to know. When I was living there, I was told that my kids WOULD have to have a name on THE LIST. Of course, I was also nearly forcibly expelled for being a foreigner, so maybe this is part of a general mellowing on the part of the Icelandic government.

In other news: How could I have forgotten (until now) about the little girls in my old preschool - QuessSymphonee, Quessonthyme, and QuessSadde? (And their brother's name? Patrick. Go. Fig.) There was also a girl named NyQuilla, though unrelated to the Quesses.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:21 PM on April 23, 2009


My mom swears she went to school with a girl named Crystal Shanda Lear.

My aunt had a classmate named Iona Little White Man.
posted by amarie at 10:31 PM on April 23, 2009


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