I'm the healthiest 55 year old you'll ever see! I play golf every weekend!

April 27, 2009 6:26 PM

Get your swine flu shot!(Circa 1976)
posted by miss lynnster (40 comments total)

I don't think that the swine flu is the only thing Betty gave the mailman!
posted by schyler523 at 6:32 PM on April 27 [1 favorite has favorites]

Is it just me or was everything sexier in the 70s?
posted by ob at 6:35 PM on April 27 [2 favorites has favorites]

Poor swine flu ridden chihuahua, we hardly knew ye.
posted by fire&wings at 6:36 PM on April 27 [1 favorite has favorites]

Is it just me or was everything sexier in the 70s?

The voice in the 2nd commercial certainly was.
posted by gman at 6:40 PM on April 27

The Hater's responce:

So, if you want to avoid the scourge of swine flu:

1. Don't boast about how you're never going to get swine flu. (The virus is apparently attracted to hubris.)

2. Don't be Daddy's favorite. (Did you notice how Joe's other kid didn't get a kiss from his father or swine flu? Sure, that other kid may never feel the warmth of his father's affection, and may spend his entire life trying to get the slightest sign of love from an indifferent parent, but he also won't contract a terrible flu named after pigs.)

3. Don't be happy/go anywhere/own a chihuahua. (Swine flu wants to destroy happy, social, chihuahua-owning people. See, once, a long time ago, a young, trusting, innocent Swine Flu was wronged by a happy-go-lucky chihuahua owner, and now Swine Flu has hardened into an extremely vindictive virus.)

posted by The Devil Tesla at 6:41 PM on April 27 [3 favorites has favorites]

Cold gotcha down? Chills? Fever?

Sounds like you need a buddy! Flu Buddy!™

Fast-acting Flu Buddy™, available at pharmacies everywhere.

Flu Buddy™!
posted by Rhaomi at 6:41 PM on April 27 [2 favorites has favorites]

I'm not worried about swine flu, I've been devouring bacon to boost my immunity.

brb, cooking moar bacon.
posted by mullingitover at 6:42 PM on April 27 [2 favorites has favorites]

I don't think that the swine flu is the only thing Betty gave the mailman!

Seriously! All through that second PSA. when the narrator intoned about giving "it" to someone, I wasn't thinking "swine flu" so much as "sex termites."
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:49 PM on April 27 [2 favorites has favorites]

I got that shot! At like age 4. I'LL OUTLIVE YOU ALL, YOU BASTARDS!
posted by the dief at 7:08 PM on April 27 [2 favorites has favorites]

Seriously! All through that second PSA. when the narrator intoned about giving "it" to someone, I wasn't thinking "swine flu" so much as "sex termites."

Yep. I kept thinking of VD is For Everybody.
posted by aquafortis at 7:14 PM on April 27 [1 favorite has favorites]

Is it me or was that one old looking 55 year old? My father is 56 and looks much younger than him. That actor looked more like my 80-something grandfather.
posted by codswallop at 7:16 PM on April 27

How'd the pig get on the roof?
The swine flew!!!

Been waiting over 30 years to tell that joke again.
posted by The Deej at 7:18 PM on April 27 [24 favorites has favorites]

Yeah, that vaccination campaign went well.

not!
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 7:18 PM on April 27

In California, Betty's mother gave it to her best friend Dottie. But Dottie had a heart condition, and she died. But fuck Dottie, moving on . . .

The narrative arcs in this commercial are seriously flawed.
posted by bibliowench at 7:42 PM on April 27 [1 favorite has favorites]

It is going to take months before any sort of usable vaccine comes out. It is possible that the seasonal flu vaccine may provide some production. But the good news is that it is spring, and historically, flu outbreaks tends to be mild in the summer. Maybe a good time to book that cheap vacation to Mexico (traveling later on the year of course)
posted by Snowstorm at 7:45 PM on April 27

The poster of the video is related to the Time Cube guy! Search for truth home page
posted by desjardins at 7:57 PM on April 27

and he's a member of the conspiracy theory web ring - go figure.
posted by desjardins at 7:59 PM on April 27

What I learned from the video:

Even dying people can spread swine flu.

Young "urban" basketball players are too cocky about their speed, and will thus die of swine flu.

Don't kiss your children. Ever. Ever!

There is no need to write on the school chalkboard with your face 1 inch away from the teacher's. That's just asking for it. And asking for the flu as well.

If you are 55 and healthy enough to play golf every weekend, you will appear to be 82.
posted by The Deej at 8:18 PM on April 27 [2 favorites has favorites]

And the one with the 55 year old guy was tonight's "moment of zen" on The Daily Show. Where would those writers be without all their RSS feeds? Doing two shows a week, that's where.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:43 PM on April 27

The Deej: Oh my god, flagged as UNBEARABLY AWESOME.
posted by honeydew at 9:17 PM on April 27

Deaths lack a dot in marker
posted by tellurian at 9:43 PM on April 27

How'd the pig get on the roof?
The swine flew!!!

Been waiting over 30 years to tell that joke again.

I got it from The Deej!
posted by humannaire at 10:01 PM on April 27 [2 favorites has favorites]

So many swine flu jokes. It's like an epidemic or something.
posted by netbros at 10:02 PM on April 27 [1 favorite has favorites]

Great. Now I'm experiencing Threads flashbacks. That's cheery.

Might as well nip off and watch some of those sweet biohazard Airwolf episodes, too...
posted by Kikkoman at 10:02 PM on April 27

just the thing to read while i am in the er
posted by pjern at 10:02 PM on April 27

Snowstorm: flu outbreaks tends to be mild in the summer.

Ordinary flu, yes.

In the spring of 1918 large numbers of soldiers in the trenches in France became ill. The soldiers complained of a sore throat, headaches and a loss of appetite. Although it appeared to be highly infectious, recovery was rapid and doctors gave it the name of 'three-day fever'. At first doctors were unable to identify the illness but eventually they decided it was a new strain of influenza. The soldiers gave it the name Spanish Flu but there is no evidence that it really did originate from that country. In fact, in Spain they called it French Flu. Others claimed that the disease started in the Middle Eastern battlefields, whereas others blamed it on China and India. A recent study argued that the disease was brought to the Western Front by a group of USA soldiers from Kansas.

For the next few months soldiers continued to be infected with the virus but there were very few fatalities. However, in the summer of 1918, symptoms became much more severe. About a fifth of the victims developed bronchial pneumonia or septicemic blood poisoning. A large percentage of these men died. Others developed heliotrope cyanosis. Doctors were able to identify this by the bluish condition of the sufferer. Over 95% of those with heliotrope cyanosis died within a few days. This second-wave of the epidemic spread quickly. In one sector of the Western Front over 70,000 American troops were hospitalised and nearly one third of these men died failed to recover.

By the end of the summer the virus had reached the German Army. The virus created serious problems for the German military leadership as they found it impossible to replace their sick and dying soldiers. The infection had already reached Germany and over 400,000 civilians died of the disease in 1918.

The first cases of the influenza epidemic in Britain appeared in Glasgow in May, 1918. It soon spread to other towns and cities and during the next few months the virus killed 228,000 people in Britain. This was the highest mortality rate for any epidemic since the outbreak of cholera in 1849.

The country that suffered most was India. The first cases appeared in Bombay in June 1918. The following month deaths were being reported in Karachi and Madras. With large numbers of India's doctors serving with the British Army the country was unable to cope with the epidemic. Some historians claim that between June 1918 and July 1919 over 16,000,000 people in India died of the virus.

It has been estimated that throughout the world over 70 million people died of the influenza pandemic.

The big question mark at the moment is how deadly is this new swine flu? Are the ongoing deaths of otherwise healthy young adults (another symptom of the 1918 flu) a result of inadequate healthcare in mexico city, or is there a more severe strain that has not yet left the country, thus the mild cases that respond well to early administration of antivirals that have so far been seen in the US, UK and Spain? Is it that the infection is much more widespread in mexico than currently reported, so the death toll is just a small percentage of a much larger number?

And we can joke about it, but the 1957 swine flu pandemic killed 2 million people, and the 1968 swine flu pandemic killed another million.

Let's hope that the large stock of antivirals built up in preparation for a bird flu outbreak continue to prove effective (enough shots for 50% of the population in the UK), as the WHO have bumped it up to phase 4 it's more likely than not we're facing a pandemic now, especially given the volume of air-travel these days. As usual though, the hammer will fall heaviest on the developing nations.
posted by ArkhanJG at 10:06 PM on April 27

The Deej: Oh my god, flagged as UNBEARABLY AWESOME.

Awwww shucks. :::looks down shyly, kicks instep:::
posted by The Deej at 10:52 PM on April 27 [1 favorite has favorites]

Epidemisterical!
posted by Xoebe at 11:37 PM on April 27 [1 favorite has favorites]

Get your swine flu shot! (1994)
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 12:30 AM on April 28

Why did the government feel the need to spread panic in 1976 while now the role has changed to hush hush child (not that swine flu is anything particular to worry about ... its the slow gestation airborn ebola that concerns me)?

Also, which multinational chemical company had just developed an expensive swine flu vaccine in 1975? (am I too cynical?)
posted by fistynuts at 2:16 AM on April 28

Put some oinkment on it.
posted by vbfg at 2:29 AM on April 28 [1 favorite has favorites]

Apparently they had an alternate version of this ad in some rural counties - it just said "Don't Fuck Pigs. Or you'll git ill."
posted by MuffinMan at 4:18 AM on April 28

Me? Get sick? When swine flew!
posted by DU at 4:32 AM on April 28

In California, Betty's mother gave it to her best friend Dottie. But Dottie had a heart condition, and she died.

No, you need an exclamation point to represent the perky cheerfulness with which the news is delivered:

... But Dottie had a heart condition, and she died!
posted by languagehat at 5:26 AM on April 28 [1 favorite has favorites]

My new favorite alternative to saying "Gesundheit" when someone sneezes in the office is to point and yell, "Swine flu! Destroy the incubator!"
posted by steef at 5:58 AM on April 28 [1 favorite has favorites]

No, you need an exclamation point to represent the perky cheerfulness with which the news is delivered:

... But Dottie had a heart condition, and she died!

But how do you represent the creepy chromatic scale background music with the funky wah pedal guitar to contrast that perky cheerfulness?
posted by mrducts at 8:24 AM on April 28

My friend got one of those swine flu shots that year. It put him in a wheelchair. It was about twenty years before he could walk and talk again.
posted by kozad at 9:10 AM on April 28

My friend got one of those swine flu shots that year. It put him in a wheelchair. It was about twenty years before he could walk and talk again.

Some of the commenters in the Youtube thread also imply that many who had the vaccination ran unto severe side effects too. Can anybody provide more details?
posted by rongorongo at 9:34 AM on April 28

I'm the healthiest 55 year old you'll ever see! I play golf every weekend!

And I like to kick! Streeettch! And kick!
posted by schoolgirl report at 9:52 AM on April 28 [1 favorite has favorites]

This will start you off rongorongo.
posted by tellurian at 6:03 PM on April 28