Love M'nuts
May 2, 2009 12:02 PM   Subscribe

Rap Chop. Some impressive sound editing from DJ Steve Porter.

Part of the latest in strange editing memes of the Slap Chop infomercial (link to original). Even Billy Mays is in on the fun.
posted by fucker (32 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
Anyone hear about he made an underground comedy movie and then beat up a hooker?

Vince Offer, that is, not Steve Porter.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:24 PM on May 2, 2009


You missed Cock Shot, my favorite thing to come out of this whole mess: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfYijyWMAjo
posted by CharlesV42 at 1:00 PM on May 2, 2009 [10 favorites]


These commercials for kitchen accessories are so absurd. That thing is just a peice of junk that would probably sit in your cupboard 99% of the time. He even points out you can buy stuff like that in a store ("but you can't wash it, it's worthless!")


The remix is pretty good, though.
posted by delmoi at 1:01 PM on May 2, 2009


"Beat up a hooker" doesn't seem like a particularly fair characterization of that.
posted by Flunkie at 1:02 PM on May 2, 2009


What I want to know is why is the slap chop so damn small? It can barely fit all of the things he puts in it. Oh one hardboiled egg for egg salad? Put it in the slap chop and it's full! Sorry, you can't chop anything else right now. Look I'm cutting up half an onion!
posted by Arbac at 1:03 PM on May 2, 2009


If I have time to pre-chop the veggies and then clean the device, why can't I just mince everything with a regular, had-to-get-it-dirty-anyway knife?

Anyway, not a patch on All Will Come Right.
posted by DU at 1:03 PM on May 2, 2009


Wow, that "I Hate LA" video is just all sorts of hatred rolled into one disturbing little ball, isn't it.
posted by Flunkie at 1:07 PM on May 2, 2009


I'll take my food processor over the SlapChop(tm) anyday.
posted by jeffamaphone at 1:11 PM on May 2, 2009


The greatest bizarre, useless infomercial food implement evar.
posted by fire&wings at 1:12 PM on May 2, 2009


Don't back down.
posted by boo_radley at 1:15 PM on May 2, 2009


Ok, Cock Shot was pretty funny, but when it got to "1 800-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK" I almost spit my drink out.
posted by Roman Graves at 1:44 PM on May 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


Beat up a hooker? Really? Were you aware that "hookers" are also human beings? Applying the "hooker" label does what exactly? Oh right, it turns them into something less than human beings. Stop that.
posted by Brocktoon at 1:56 PM on May 2, 2009


it turns them into something less than human beings. Stop that.

Yeah, debasement is another $50, buddy.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 2:07 PM on May 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


Applying the "hooker" label does what exactly?

Applies context by telling you what she does for a living and how he met her. It isn't always about dehumanization.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 2:10 PM on May 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


can't stop replaying. chop chop!
posted by bottlebrushtree at 2:28 PM on May 2, 2009


When I saw this gem on TV on a Sunday morning, I had to really think about whether I was still watching a Saturday night spoof.

It's unremixed, but chock full of Mr. T!
posted by rollbiz at 2:35 PM on May 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh man, I'm glad someone else has experienced the Flavor Wave.
posted by Roman Graves at 2:37 PM on May 2, 2009


I guess the Flavor Wave people couldn't get Flavor Flav, huh?
posted by Sys Rq at 2:49 PM on May 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


All right, I'll admit it: I would like something like the Slap Chop and something like the Flavor Wave.

I assume that they're both pieces of junk, Mr. T's endorsement notwithstanding. But does anyone have any recommendations for things like what they supposedly are?
posted by Flunkie at 2:50 PM on May 2, 2009 [1 favorite]


Sys Rq- That would be unbelievably awesome.

Darla- "And it looks like the pork is done, in just 16 minutes!"

Flav- "YEEEEEEEAH BOOOOOYYYYYYYEEE!"
posted by rollbiz at 2:59 PM on May 2, 2009 [2 favorites]


I didn't give you that The Cheat-sized Slap Chop so you could throw Slap Chop raves!
posted by nosila at 2:59 PM on May 2, 2009 [5 favorites]


I assume that they're both pieces of junk, Mr. T's endorsement notwithstanding. But does anyone have any recommendations for things like what they supposedly are?


A knife and an oven? 16 minutes is plenty of time to cook a steak, I've cooked them even quicker in my, uh, George Foreman grill (but the ones I did were thinner then that one). And the slapchop just replaces a knife. Using a knife might increase the time you spend chopping by like 50% or something.
posted by delmoi at 3:15 PM on May 2, 2009


delmoi, thank you for your input, but I've chopped things with a knife, and I've cooked things with an oven.
posted by Flunkie at 3:28 PM on May 2, 2009


delmoi, thank you for your input, but I've chopped things with a knife, and I've cooked things with an oven.

So you're not missing anything :P
posted by delmoi at 3:44 PM on May 2, 2009


that's some half-assed electro right there
posted by dydecker at 3:57 PM on May 2, 2009


My mom has the pampered chef version of the slap chop. They work alright, but aren't anything to write home about. You can't fit a lot underneath them so if you have a bunch to chop you have to break out a knife. They don't really save you that much time and they are a pain to clean. As far as I'm concerned, it's something that ends up in a drawer collecting dust.

As far as the Flavor Wave, did anyone else notice that Mr. T's steak looked to be medium well or well? I could have sworn he asked for medium rare.
posted by robtf3 at 4:06 PM on May 2, 2009


The worst thing about this video is that it's going to reach a million views and in three months some savvy informercials will go all chopped-and-screwed electro-break and we'll finally be living in the age of blipverts and exploding heads.

Which really might not be so bad.
posted by loquacious at 6:14 PM on May 2, 2009


Oh that fucker!
posted by humannaire at 7:50 PM on May 2, 2009


Oh, big whoo.
posted by orme at 8:09 PM on May 2, 2009


There's only one whoo. Bubb Rubb!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:43 AM on May 3, 2009


Although its a really amateur production - I laughed shamefully at the Billy Mays Kaboom Parody the first several times I watched it.

I barely smiled while watching it again for this post - so you mileage may vary...
posted by cinemafiend at 8:08 AM on May 3, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have been obsessed with this for the last 48 hours. I wish I had a portable autotune. Sure would make the workdays go faster.

Applies context by telling you what she does for a living and how he met her.

There are a number of options for doing that, carrying various amounts of other baggage. I guess YRMV but where I'm from, prostitute would be a less loaded term.

Now imagine how hilarious the above would sound through autotune. See what I mean?
posted by flotson at 9:44 PM on May 4, 2009


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