'Until Eternity Itself Has Said Its Prayers'
May 4, 2009 6:34 AM Subscribe
posted by koeselitz (44 comments total)
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A few years ago, Russell Crowe, star of the breakaway Ridley Scott hit Gladiator
, ran into fellow Australian Nick Cave
and managed to convince the exotic dancer
and sometime screenwriter
to consider writing a sequel of the Roman period piece for him. The resulting script included the reincarnation of Maximus as the eternal warrior, the betrayal of Hephaestus, the sickness unto death of the Roman gods, the martyrdoms of St. Irenaeus of Lyon
and St. Cassian of Imola
, the persecution of Emperor Decius
, the Crusades, and the Vietnam war; it ended in the men's bathroom at the Pentagon. Here is a review and detailed synopsis of that script
, which was unfortunately (though not too surprisingly) rejected by the studios.
Amazingly, between writing outlandish scripts and taking off his clothes for money, Cage has found time over the last fifty years to pursue various careers as an amateur magician
, a presumptuous monarch
, a compassionately agnostic christian
, a notably self-entitled literary critic
, a scary guy who seems to be in love
, a very nice and mild-mannered middle american evangelical who loves kittens
, and even a mean motherfucker called Stagger Lee
Nowadays you always have to do videos for albums; it's a standard record company requirement, and Nick Cave is always complaining about this. A few years ago, the suits came to him again and said they'd set up meetings with producers and videographers so that he could made a video for his latest. He was feeling punchy, so he asked them: 'what's the most popular thing to put in a video right now?' An uncharacteristically honest wag among them replied: 'the rear ends of scantily-clad black girls.' To which Nick Cave reportedly replied: all right then, bring it on.
If anyone can find a copy of Nick Cave's Gladiator 2
script and pass it on to me, they will be justly rewarded both in this life and the next.