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May 4, 2009 10:50 AM   Subscribe

You, like me, have probably often wondered where exactly Wolverine fits in the grand continuum of comic-book hair. Wonder no more.

You can cultivate your own Wolver'do (warning: pop-ups), admire the attempts of others to replicate hero haircuts (discussed previously), or just reminisce about other luminaries of comic-book coiffure, including the mid-'90s: the era of the superhero mullet. If you're one of the few superheroes with prehensile hair, of course, a bad hair day is merely a part of your arsenal.
posted by Shepherd (36 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
Puffy balls. *snicker*
posted by stinkycheese at 11:03 AM on May 4, 2009


Of course, just Wolverines hair covers a whole universe of possibilities depending on who's drawing it and whether or not it's still the 90s where they live.
posted by Artw at 11:13 AM on May 4, 2009


Wolverine's healing factor makes him invulnerable to split ends.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:24 AM on May 4, 2009


At one point Claremont had a plan for Wolverines Adamantium bones to start leaching out through his hair, giving him a sort of spiney indestructible porcupine look – which would have been cool.
posted by Artw at 11:28 AM on May 4, 2009


At last, the final ingredient to my epic President Abraham "Wolverine" Lincoln Halloween costume!

(well, and the claws. I need the claws)
posted by mkb at 11:38 AM on May 4, 2009


At one point Claremont had a plan for Wolverines Adamantium bones to start leaching out through his hair, giving him a sort of spiney indestructible porcupine look

is this true?
posted by shmegegge at 11:40 AM on May 4, 2009


Why'd they leave out the colour?
posted by Sys Rq at 11:42 AM on May 4, 2009




(this is after Lady Deathstryke rips out his heart and then he comes back from the dead, of course)
posted by Artw at 11:51 AM on May 4, 2009


Why'd they leave out the color?

From the site: "This is of course a simplified version of the Continuum. The real thing is 3D and requires a supercomputer to properly render." I imagine color, texture, and versatility and growth factors make things a bit hard to flatten down to 2D.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:51 AM on May 4, 2009


This? No, it's not a goatee, and no, it's not a Van Dyke, or Balbao, or even a Napoleon III Imperial... it's an Evil Chin Adornment. Here, allow me to arch my eyebrow and snarl for the full effect.
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:54 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Did anyone consult Danzig for Wolverine hair advice?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:55 AM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


I always liked Dr Strange's hair. If I thought I could get away with it, I would wear my hair like that, as well as his costumes.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:01 PM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


I saw Danzig in concert last year. I was in the balcony. From my perspective, which is to say, "above," Danzig might well be one of the last people one may want to consult about hair advice.

Speaking of "above," I think we do need a 3-D version of this, if only so we can render how Wolverine's hair looks while he's screaming up at the sky, over and over again, like in the movie.
posted by adipocere at 12:01 PM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


Slap*Happy, can we start a club of people with evil chin adornments? I also have severe looking eyebrows which lend to the effect.
posted by greekphilosophy at 12:03 PM on May 4, 2009


Did anyone consult Danzig for Wolverine hair advice?

Actually, Danzig had borrowed his look from Space Pirate Captain Harlock, so that would have been appropriate in an odd sort of way, given Wolvie's propensity to be the engine for any number of shitty '80s stories about ninjas.
posted by Shepherd at 12:04 PM on May 4, 2009


Er. Captain Harlock having been a Japanese cartoon and ninjas and the Hand also being Japanese, that is.
posted by Shepherd at 12:04 PM on May 4, 2009


Puffy balls. *snikter*
posted by rokusan at 12:07 PM on May 4, 2009


Are you serious, Shepherd, or are you yanking my chain? I always thought Danzig was all about schlock horror and superheroes. And steroids.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:09 PM on May 4, 2009


My own superhair is invisible.
Well, unless I take my shirt off and turn around.
posted by orme at 12:17 PM on May 4, 2009


I remember Danzig saying in an interview that he liked to call his sideburns Wolverines.
posted by Sailormom at 12:17 PM on May 4, 2009


You know who, in his prime, would have been perfect to play Wolverine? Bob Hoskins. Srsly. Think about it. Short, hairy, belligerent.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:29 PM on May 4, 2009


Are you serious, Shepherd, or are you yanking my chain? I always thought Danzig was all about schlock horror and superheroes. And steroids.

He denied it in an interview with Nardwuar once (oh, good, Nardwuar has already been FPP'd, twice even), but frankly if you spend more than 10 seconds looking at Harlock and then at nascent Misfits stuff, it's blindingly obvious. The timelines match up, too: Danzig would have been in his late teens when Harlock became available over here, and according to Wikipedia was a fan.

He was also apparently in consideration to play Wolverine in a movie once.
posted by Shepherd at 12:31 PM on May 4, 2009


There's a scene in Bob Fingerman's Minimum Wagecomic, in an issue set at NYCC, where "Denn Glanzig" goes up to Fingerman's self-insertion character, paws through one of his comics, makes a crack about how he likes to draw women with big boobs, and stalks off with the comic; the cartoonist remarks that he's just been put down by "rock's most perfect Wolverine clone."
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:32 PM on May 4, 2009


If it's possible that folks can think less of me, let's set the bar a bit lower: I have some old Danzig videos on VHS. He's very pointedly reading a Wolverine comic in one of them. I'll have to dig it out and check, if I am not too traumatized by the associated memories the tape brings back. Yeah, he was up for Wolverine, briefly. Instead, he ends up with a tiny, tiny part in Prophecy 2, and from there to video fame getting punched out by someone from another band.

From the Devillock to the sideburns to that strange conjunction of thinning hair and mullet, we bring you ... The Many Hair Styles of Danzig.
posted by adipocere at 12:36 PM on May 4, 2009


If it's the same video I'm thinking of, my favorite part would be where he's sitting in the graveyard, being "interviewed", at one point talking about some T-shirt that featured a demon biting Jesus' head or something, and how this offended some people. The "interviewer" asks Danzig, "Don't you care?" And Glenn just looks out at the horizon, makes a dismissive handwave, and says, "Fuck 'em."

Do you see? Danzig doesn't care about your "rules".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:43 PM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Yes!
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 12:47 PM on May 4, 2009


I'm pretty sure ras al-ghul is depicted three different times on that image in the first linke

posted by mulligan at 1:05 PM on May 4, 2009


Here's Danzig reading Wolverine. I love how gigantic the comics look in his hands.

While I have absolutely no issue with Hugh Jackman playing Wolverine, Danzig is, at the very least, the right height since Wolverine was supposed to be pretty short in the comics.
posted by darksong at 3:22 PM on May 4, 2009


I dunno, I kind of like the idea of cheeky-cockerney-chappie wolverine. He'd need a shootah though.
posted by Artw at 3:32 PM on May 4, 2009


Darksong found it. Yeah, Wolverine is supposed to be short, but ... that comic looks to be almost fakishly oversized in Danzig's little hands.

Now I have to watch the "Danzig getting knocked out" video over and over. I like watching him spin around the Axis of Baldness after someone throws a punch your average martial arts instructor would giggle at were it not for the size of the guy behind it.
posted by adipocere at 4:17 PM on May 4, 2009


Wow, adipocere, you just brought to mind a Danzig memory.

I had a roommate who spent most of his unemployed days hanging out at a local punk rock record store. One day, Danzig walked in. While the owner and my roommate stood there, a little surprised, Danzig pointed at the wall behind the counter and said, "Gimme the bootlegs." Behind the owner, on the wall, were a series of Misfits and Samhain bootlegs. The owner, incredulous, looked at Danzig and said, "No." Danzig repeated his demand. The owner again refused. This went back and forth for a bit until finally Danzig asked, "When do you get off work?" The owner told him they close at seven. "Fine," said Danzig. "I'll be waiting." He then spat on the floor and walked out.

Danzig never came back, but the owner demarcated the area around Danzig's spittle with masking tape, and labelled it with an index card which read, "DANZIG SPAT HERE".
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:04 PM on May 4, 2009 [12 favorites]


I used to work in a record store and the only , um, rock star that came in was Gary Richrath. I knew it was him because his girlfriend told me. He bought a couple REO records on vinyl.
posted by Sailormom at 5:27 PM on May 4, 2009


You can make Gary Richrath cry by telling him, "I'm a huge fan of yours - I loved Goodbye Stranger."
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:33 PM on May 4, 2009


I still think it would be a good idea to have a midi file of that song play site wide whenever someone closes their account.

Gary walked into the store and went straight to the back where we had the vinyl. My co-worker considered putting on Hi Infidelity but we decided not to interrupt God Ween Satan, at least not before L.M.L.Y.P. came on. His girlfriend sort of hovered near the front of the store then made her way to the counter where my co-worker and I were playing Operation. We kept it next to the cash register and would occasionally challenge people to a game offering a few bucks off their total purchase if they won. She kind of whispered, "Do you know who that is?" I didn't but my co-worker did.

Gary never said a word the whole time he was there. Not to me or my co-worker or his girlfriend. He bought some REO albums and a few others then left.

Fast forward about eight years. A good friend of mine is playing bass in a bar band doing cheesy 80's and 90's covers. The lead singer / guitar player happens to be Gary Richrath's son. His son's wife is also in the band. One weekend they were playing and Gary walked in carrying his guitar. I was thinking cool, maybe they'll play Riding The Storm Out or something. But Gary's son won't let him play. He barely acknowledges his presence. It was a little uncomfortable because the crowd was thinking they were in for a treat but instead got a dose of family dysfunction.

No one in this story had a Wolverine haircut but there were plenty of mullets.
posted by Sailormom at 9:10 PM on May 4, 2009 [1 favorite]


Not interrupting God Ween Satan is always the best policy.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 9:21 PM on May 4, 2009 [2 favorites]


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