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Odds are if you're a hipster, you'll laugh...
May 17, 2009 9:55 AM   Subscribe

How to Impress a Hipster

If you need help defining hipster look no further than Wikipedia (for a hilariously detailed article) or the linked site

Some accurate examples:
-Darren Aronofsky
-Joy Division
-Marcel Duchamp ("the scapegoat for bad art")
-Blade Runner
-Un Chien Andalou
-Maurice Sendak (double points if you mention that "Where the Wild Things Are" is being directed by Spike Jonze, a hipster director)
-Vinyl Collecting
-Gallery Openings
posted by azarbayejani (162 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Too much work.
posted by tommasz at 9:58 AM on May 17, 2009


meh... kind of like a less funny version of stuffwhitepeoplelike.
posted by modernnomad at 9:58 AM on May 17, 2009 [8 favorites]


This month's blogging trend: hipsters. Lets collectively move on.
posted by jeffamaphone at 10:00 AM on May 17, 2009


yeah, like whatever
posted by From Bklyn at 10:06 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


How to impress a hipster: Disable the right-mouse key.
WTF did they do that for?
posted by Lucubrator at 10:07 AM on May 17, 2009 [14 favorites]


Yeah, the right-mouse disabling is annoying. I had to go out of my way to find a greasemonkey script for it.
posted by azarbayejani at 10:11 AM on May 17, 2009


No true hipster would enjoy the films of Darren Aronofsky. There is such a thing as too pretentious. Just sayin'.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:12 AM on May 17, 2009


LATFH
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 10:12 AM on May 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's a little stuffwhitepeoplelike, but it's a little AV Club Primer/Gateways to Geekery and Dictionary of Cultural Literacy too. Interesting blend, anyway.
posted by box at 10:13 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm not looking to impress the hipster so much as strangle them. Is there a blog for that?
posted by educatedslacker at 10:15 AM on May 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


I just don't get the fixed gear bicycles. With the tiny handlebars. And one little teeny brake.

I predict there will soon be a hipster backlash against this, and we'll be seeing hipsters riding 30 gear bikes with chunky tires and shock absorbers.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 10:16 AM on May 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


They lost me at "Listening to 80s Hair Metal"
posted by glycolized at 10:16 AM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Re: Aronofsky

Luckily for hipsters his second film Requiem for a Dream was better, unfortunalty his films have dragged conciderably since then.

I could've sworn that The Wrestler got good reviews, was seen by a lot of people and was nominated for several awards. Not sure about hipster appeal though.
posted by slimepuppy at 10:18 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


You know there's something really wrong with a scene where the best way to get into a girl's pants is to wear girl pants.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:20 AM on May 17, 2009 [20 favorites]


Love the right-click blocking popup: "Homie don't play that!"
posted by Decimask at 10:20 AM on May 17, 2009


Here are a bunch of things I like. But I'm too cool to admit that I like stuff, so I'm going to be ironic and detached and talk about why "those" hipsters like these things.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:21 AM on May 17, 2009 [10 favorites]


Actually, I think I might be too cool for this.
posted by fuq at 10:22 AM on May 17, 2009



Yeah, fuck cool young people!
posted by bukharin at 10:23 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


If you'd rather piss off a hipster, you can mention that Heathers is basically a rip-off of Massacre at Central High.
posted by jonp72 at 10:24 AM on May 17, 2009


It just never fails to depress me me that "hipster" which was a specific and dated cultural phenomenon detailed by Normal Mailer in The White Negro, has morphed into describing what we used to call "scenesters" in the Twin Cities. I want hipsters to play the bongos, smoke weed, listen to modern jazz, and discuss Camus. I do not want them drinking PBR, wearing white belts, and listening to twee alternapop.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:25 AM on May 17, 2009 [20 favorites]


I have a wand.
posted by oddman at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2009


Love the right-click blocking popup: "Homie don't play that!"

Especially since most of these images are clearly just stolen from various sites on the internet.

Of course, hipsters appropriate things. I shouldn't be surprised.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:30 AM on May 17, 2009


The Cure. Bauhaus. Heathers. Obscure horror directors. EinstĂĽrzende Neubauten. David Lynch. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Cocteau Twins. Tim Burton films. The Lost Boys. Nick Cave. Where the Wild Things Are.

See the common thread? This person is a Goth, not a hipster.
posted by dydecker at 10:30 AM on May 17, 2009 [34 favorites]


I have also now realised that I actually like most of the things hipsters like. Good to know I guess. I just always figured that liking films in the style of the Lumiere brothers, Ed Wood, Luis Bunuel etc. made me a film nerd, not a hipster. I'm plenty pretentious about it all too if the mood takes me. I guess all I'm missing is the fashion.
posted by slimepuppy at 10:31 AM on May 17, 2009


All I'm missing is the bongos.
posted by box at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2009


This is really entertaining. I'll probably end up reading back to the beginning. Also, I seem to be more hipster than I knew, but it's probably unhipster of me to admit it.
posted by zinfandel at 10:32 AM on May 17, 2009


So skating is no longer "cool" or hipster approved or whatever?

Also, hey, I have really enjoyed 2 of Aronofsky's films, and I think Joy Division is the bomb (as I have for more than 20 years). Gallery opening have free wine. Blade Runner was a killer movie. Where is the list of things that humorless, supercilious, judgmental shit-heads like?
posted by Mister_A at 10:35 AM on May 17, 2009 [5 favorites]


I can feel the hipster hate.
posted by rageagainsttherobots at 10:37 AM on May 17, 2009


No, hipsters like Un Chien Andalou because it's referenced in "Debaser". Duh.
posted by unknowncommand at 10:37 AM on May 17, 2009 [5 favorites]


Also, yeah, dude's a total ex-Goth.
posted by box at 10:37 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm basically saying what the esteemed Mr. Bartfast said already, as it turns out.
posted by Mister_A at 10:38 AM on May 17, 2009


How to Impress a Hipster

I reckon any blunt object with sufficient heft and a comfortable grip would do, no?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:45 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I heard that Cronenberg's gonna remake Videodrome.
posted by boo_radley at 10:53 AM on May 17, 2009


See, I remember when being a hipster meant something besides a fashion statement. You had to know how to spell Klactoveedsedstene and be able to sing at least one chorus of a Charlie Parker solo. In those golden days, "hippie" was a pejorative for wannabes that followed the hipsters around like groupies, but could never make true hipsterism because you had to work to be hip.

But then they started stealing the words, bop stolen by the Big Bopper ugh. Cool became a meaningless adjective. Hippies made a virtue of shallowness. Now this. The new hipsters! Gads. it's enough to make me shave of my goatee and burn my beret. There is no hope. There is no future. Lord Buckley weeps.
posted by charlesminus at 10:54 AM on May 17, 2009 [5 favorites]


It's not hipster to admit an actual opinion about anything. Tshah.
posted by chicobangs at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2009


Most of this is really old. I'm a couple of years past 40, wear Crocs all the time, rarely keep up with current fashion trends or music anymore, and still knew most of it. Heathers? Bottle Rocket? The Cure? Blow Up? Is that all you have? Duran Duran still has no soul, though.
posted by raysmj at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


None of these things are particularly obscure. In my experience of hipsters, what they don't like is sincerity.
posted by mippy at 10:57 AM on May 17, 2009 [8 favorites]


Things that people who are now in their thirties enjoyed when they were younger.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:58 AM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


So we're all hating Hipsters now...? But I can still hate Emos, right?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:58 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Alvy: Hipsters don't leave impressions. Maybe try silk-screenings one? They fucking love silk-screening.
posted by boo_radley at 10:58 AM on May 17, 2009


A full-proof plan for impressing any hipster is finding a way to be one of the select few to have ever seen Tom Waits in concert. For a guy that's been making music for nearly 40 years the odds of seeing him live are roughly 1 in 1,000,000.

I saw Tom Waits in 2006; a $200 ticket that I somehow didn't have to pay for. Worship me theoretical sub-cultural entities.
posted by dgaicun at 11:02 AM on May 17, 2009


Needs more griftage.
posted by godisdad at 11:03 AM on May 17, 2009


Perhaps it would be enlightening to post an article "Why to impress a hipster"?
posted by biffa at 11:07 AM on May 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


How to impress a hipster: Disable the right-mouse key.
WTF did they do that for?


When I read this, I immediately thought "wait, the hipsters are disabling their right-click? To have an old-time Macintosh mouse? Is this some sort of "fixed gear" mouse thing?", but then I went to the site and saw that the guy had just disabled right-clicking.
posted by interrobang at 11:10 AM on May 17, 2009 [19 favorites]


"Stuff Forty-Year-Olds Like"
posted by aquafortis at 11:10 AM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Fixed-gear mouse, hahahahaha!
posted by box at 11:11 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Apparently, hipsters are impressed by stilted writing.
posted by klangklangston at 11:14 AM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


If liking these things makes you a hipster than I am a hipster. I listened to the Talking Heads obsessively in highschool and had a huge crush on Carolee Schneeman, for example. And I am a noise artist and the noise scene is a veritable cesspool of hipsterdom. I am part of a generation, and I accept the fact that it will influence and guide my tastes.

Social scenes are inherently shallow, hipsters are not new or even exemplary in this respect. It seems like hipsters are the scapegoat of the inevitable artificiality and inanity of counterculture.

I am going to say this because somebody has to: I am probably a hipster and I don't find the threats of violence here funny. Is this some kind of social insecurity about feeling not as cool? Nobody invites me to parties and I go most weekends without hanging out with any friends, liking the right stuff doesn't do that much good.
posted by idiopath at 11:15 AM on May 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


The thing with being a hipster is that it only works in the city. Try liking this stuff, dressing that way, in a small town. You'll get your head kicked in.

I do worry that some of the things I like out of a genuine enjoyment for them - riding an upright bike, sewing and crafting, listening to fairly obscure music, using a Lomo - will make me be seen as someone who does these things only for a fashion. I've wanted to learn to knit for years, and it's good that knitting is fashionable now because I can go to a young women's knitting group and drink wine and learn. But I've started cross-stitching again, and have noticed that people are trying to make it 'the new knitting' by selling kits of the word 'Fuck' embroidered on black for 8GBP.
posted by mippy at 11:19 AM on May 17, 2009


I am probably a hipster and I don't find the threats of violence here funny.

Threats of violence? Huh?

I'm not sure I really know what a hipster is anymore and I think the term has lost its meaning, if it hadn't already in the 60's. I too like almost everything this guy references. What I think is funny is that this particular blogger so obviously has admiration for all these things and hides it under a veil of disdain for hipsters, of which he secretly identifies himself as (though as others correctly pointed out, he is an ex-goth). A review of every single Cure album?! That's not explaining hipsterism to a non-hipster, that's blogging about a band you love.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:39 AM on May 17, 2009


Threats of violence? Huh?

I assume he means my pun about making an impression on a hipster with a blunt object.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:43 AM on May 17, 2009


Also: hipster runoff.com. Previously on AskMe.
posted by Xere at 11:44 AM on May 17, 2009


Ah, missed that [NOT HIPSTER-IST]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:45 AM on May 17, 2009


alvy, yeah that, and a reference to strangulation, there may have been a few others.
posted by idiopath at 11:46 AM on May 17, 2009


Missed it, or tacitly approved it? [SHIFT THE BLAME-IST]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:47 AM on May 17, 2009


Too many levels of irony, smugness and superiority here. I'm going to go ahead and just like what I like and hate what I hate, it's so much easier.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:47 AM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


How to impress a hipster: Claim to hate hipsters, while demonstrating obsession with everything that hipsters are obsessed with. If confronted, claim irony. What mippy said.
posted by hattifattener at 11:48 AM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


So we're all hating Hipsters now...? But I can still hate Emos, right?

It's not an either-or thing, emo hate is always justified. Well, unless you're in Mexico I guess. They take their emo-bashing pretty seriously there.

But seriously, who said hipsters could take Blade Runner? That's just wrong.
posted by Talanvor at 11:51 AM on May 17, 2009


Yeah, I don't get it. So hipsters=retro (goths or art school kids) or just plain artists for the most part?

I graduated from college in 1989 and all of these things (Bauhaus, the Cure, Rock and Roll High School etc.) were the things my friends and I were really into at the time. If I still am still sincerely fond of these things, does that make me a hipster, or would I need to be fond of them primarily in an ironic way in order to be defined as one?

I am honestly confused by all this. I always considered myself an aging goth, possessing a low cultural status equivalent to that of an aging hippie. Maybe I'm killing two birds with one stone and am lame in a few new and exciting ways! Go me!
posted by stagewhisper at 11:55 AM on May 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


Oh, damn. I like at least 70% of this stuff, even stuff that most people don't know about, like The Glove and Daughters of Darkness. In that remaining fraction would be Jess Franco, because those films went absolutely nowhere. Some friends and I would play a game to Industrial Symphony No. 1 where we would pretend to be various directors and Hollywoodites having to direct that particular piece. At one point, I was Charles Nelson Reilly, yelling into a megaphone (rolled up cone of paper) "Onto the Pontiac! Writhe! Writhe, you bitches, writhe!" I'm not sure if that was hipster or anti-hipster, or is it one of those freaky Zen things which contains its own opposite?

Making fun of hipsters is so passe, though. More than a decade ago, my friend, my significant other, and I marched into a local coffeehouse, a truly unbearable one, with neglected little chess tables and the occasional folk singer as incomprehensible as they were earnest. I will not name names, but it was burdened with a small cross where a T ought to have gone, in addition to the usual painful coffee-derived "joke." It was a hot-spot (more of a lukewarm region) for the frat-loathing Independents.

The three of us wore matching black berets I had purchased and carried additional props: a cigarette holder, a copy of Being and Nothingness, and so forth. We ignored absolutely everyone, and instead had a scripted elaborate and arch conversation after our complicated drink orders, jealously referring to each others' affairs, and talked about film school. Towards the end, we scattered, leaving puzzled patrons in our wake. Not long after, the coffeehouse closed as the miserable tax shelter it was, then began to fall into the creek out back. It wasn't my fault, but I always felt a little guilty in a way I could not precisely define — not exactly as if I had told a bunch of toddlers that there was no Santa Claus and then the town Christmas tree had burnt down.

Hipsters are so over, but they were never under(ground). So is making fun of them. This did not even manage to make fun of hipsters, because it so painfully missed the mark on hipsters, somehow cross-breeding them with anyone who listened to alternative music in the 80's and forty-something ex-goths. The majority of the stuff on this list reads like "aren't you a little young to be liking this?" And who the heck can have a problem with Siouxsie and the Banshees, anyway?
posted by adipocere at 11:58 AM on May 17, 2009 [13 favorites]


"I graduated from college in 1989 and all of these things (Bauhaus, the Cure, Rock and Roll High School etc.) were the things my friends and I were really into at the time. If I still am still sincerely fond of these things, does that make me a hipster"

That makes you the older brother/sister/cousin that a hipster has always really want to be.
posted by oddman at 12:02 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


The Dark Crystal?! Oh fuck you hipsters, fuck you.
posted by Talanvor at 12:05 PM on May 17, 2009


I am going to say this because somebody has to: I am probably a hipster and I don't find the threats of violence here funny.

You know what to do.
posted by Meatbomb at 12:06 PM on May 17, 2009


"Stuff Forty-Year-Olds Like"

oh snap
posted by zinfandel at 12:07 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is there anyone who actually defines themselves as this kind of "hipster"? Every time I read something about these "hipsters" it is in the context of hating them, of looking at a pervasive social scene from the outside and turning the sour grapes of not being accepted as one of the Cool Kids into hate-based humor.

I mean, I am an artsy chick pushing forty who has had her own solo art show, I still like goth and electronic stuff, I have funny little glasses with no rims and an eclectically retro dress sense, does that make me a "hipster"? I certainly never set out to be one. I still think of myself as a "nerd", if pressed to define a social clade.
posted by egypturnash at 12:14 PM on May 17, 2009


I think I'm going to stick to making fun of hipster because of their taste in pants. More defensible.
posted by fshgrl at 12:20 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I am a hipster and I am not impressed
posted by tehloki at 12:24 PM on May 17, 2009


Most important and most hilarious sentence from the Afronsky article:

There is a possibility he will recapture the hearts of hipsters once more in 2010 when he reworks the 1987 Cyberpunk film Robocop.

This is the first I'm hearing of this. I was entertained enough by Pi and disgusted enough by Requiem for a Dream to be excited by this news.

But seriously, if Robocop was capital-C cyberpunk then Red Dawn was socialist realism.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:25 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Aronofsky" article, that is

(someday, i'll remember about the preview button)
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:28 PM on May 17, 2009


Until I saw this I'd concluded that the if one were to try to discern the meaning of "hipster" solely on the basis of the many websites devoted to being unaccountably enraged by them, it would reduce to nothing more specific than "not yet middle-aged; if male, not overweight; buys clothes at small shops and thrift stores rather chains and department stores". But if I factor this site in, even those distinctions are gone. To go by the web, the word can encompass pretty much the whole human race, or at least anyone who wandered in front of someone's cellphone camera possessing any distinctive visual characteristic at all. I seriously expect to see a seminaked 40-year old suburbanite at a ball game with his body painted in team colors put forward as a hipster at some point very soon. I've never been terribly convinced that the word is meaningful but at this point I'm quite sure it's meaningless.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:29 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Okay. Look, every time I meet a web site that blocks right-clicking, I get pretty pissed off. It's just rude, and it does nothing to stop anybody; if people are under the interesting impression that their web design is going to be stolen and replicated by some guy who doesn't know how to click 'View->Source', they shouldn't be designing web sites that anybody uses.

So there's that. But... what the hell? Right-click blocking on an utterly anonymous blogspot account with a blogger template? Is this person seriously trying to hoard images--images that were obviously found on google?
posted by koeselitz at 12:31 PM on May 17, 2009


I am glad that there is this socially acceptable way to hate a large group of people who were different than me. Now that we can't hate on African Americans anymore because of the election and everything, I was wondering who I was going to aim my hate at. Thanks to the internet, I know that it is safe and cool to despise hipsters. This is an enormous relief because I have like a million really offensive jokes that I can make all over again.

What I especially like about hating hipsters is that there seems to be a touch of "they are ghey" about the whole trend, which means I can secretly engage in discrimination against effeminate men again and not be discriminated against.

Please alert me when its no longer cool to hate them and, specifically, who it is cool for me to hate so I can remain part of the mob instead of one of "them."
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:36 PM on May 17, 2009 [7 favorites]


I seriously expect to see a seminaked 40-year old suburbanite at a ball game with his body painted in team colors put forward as a hipster at some point very soon.

Another Side of Kerouac: The Dharma Bum as Sports Nut
posted by raysmj at 12:37 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Also, there's an interesting kind of cognitive dissonance going on with a web site devoted to teaching us all about what hipsters like. Maybe the person who made this (there's no identification of any kind anywhere on the site, so who knows) really doesn't get the fact that, knowing all this stuff, s/he is probably a hipster; or maybe this is an intentional act of sabotage, a kind of trick designed to replicate more hipsters by turning readers to the dark side.
posted by koeselitz at 12:39 PM on May 17, 2009


Hating on hipsters is silly. It's a bullshit applause light. "Oh yeah, people almost exactly like me are the worst, what with their slightly ostentatious sunglasses and their t-shirts for bands I like. I hate them." If you hate hipsters there's a fifty percent chance that people think you are a hipster.
posted by I Foody at 12:54 PM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


I think this post has just outed most of Metafilter as hipsters, or vice versa.

Anyway, he's obviously poking fun rather than attacking, and it's a pretty good read. If you feel uncomfortable with being assigned to a social group based on your interests, that's just pride fucking with you. You're as unique as everyone else, and you have every right to rotate your frame of reference so that when you look at everyone else, you're looking down.
posted by Wrinkled Stumpskin at 12:56 PM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


The hipster irony and dismissal of earnestness strike me as a defense mechanism that people use to justify their continued inaction in the face of widespread social collapse and injustice. I have good friends who shop in thrift stores, like indie music and might rock a keffiyeh from time to time. However they are also fully engaged and enthusiastic about their art, and often, politics as well. I don't consider them hipsters.

An old friend of mine is a fairly accomplished artist. His politics are all over his art. Marched against the war in 2003. He said that during 2007 and 2008 that in his social circle, no one even wanted to talk about the Iraq War. He's a hardcore news junkie and when he would bring things up, people would just shrug.

I think a lot of people recognize that our culture is pretty fucked. However they've been educated to think that what they buy in a store and how they appropriate it is a way to jam that culture. Thus, the struggle to find the ever more hipper, more indie bar/band/hat/shoes/drugs whatever. And seriously, cocaine? I remember in the late 90s someone I know pointed out that powder cocaine use showed he was higher class than the scrubs that were hitting their bongs. I guess the fantastically low street prices of cocaine these days (thanks globalization!) kind of screwed that up for him. Now even lower middle class kids can snort it. What's next for the hipsters, maybe ayuhasca , since that requires a trip to the jungles of Latin America and the intervention of a shaman. Can't get too much hipper than 1)foreign travel 2) "exotic" local guides 3) ground up plant bark. But is the bark organic, is the real question that many of you are probably asking yourselves.

So. I understand that facing up to the yawning social and economic collapse in front of us is pretty ugly. Definitely staring into the black void of craziness there. The pursuit of buying ever cooler shit sure isn't going to fill that void. Co-operating with other people to do something really productive that helps others just might. Don't admire Che. Don't ironically use Che as desktop wallpaper. Don't try to be Che-- he was an asshole who killed a lot of people with his delusions of grandeur and pursuit of an ultimately brutal ideal.

Be. Better. Than. Che. Make your own damn icons by, I dunno, getting out there and DOING something. /rant mode off
posted by wuwei at 12:59 PM on May 17, 2009 [12 favorites]


fashion shows? you gotta be kidding me

everyone loves fashion shows, them's there purty girls.

also, I actually found that wikipedia link quite good on the hipster, especially the criticism bit...seems like the best bits were taken off of this popmatter's article though (itself riffing off of an n+1 panel discussion).
posted by doobiedoo at 1:08 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I was under the impression that what makes a person a hipster is not what they like, but their belief that they liked it first, and better than you ever could.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 1:10 PM on May 17, 2009 [8 favorites]


A hipster would like this link. Ironically.
posted by Artw at 1:18 PM on May 17, 2009


The hipster irony and dismissal of earnestness strike me as a defense mechanism that people use to justify their continued inaction in the face of widespread social collapse and injustice. I have good friends who shop in thrift stores, like indie music and might rock a keffiyeh from time to time. However they are also fully engaged and enthusiastic about their art, and often, politics as well. I don't consider them hipsters.

That is 90%+ of people who call themselves hipsters. I live in Silver Lake, Los Angeles, one of the the most famous "hipster" neighborhoods in the world, and everyone I know is socially and politically aware and active. You couldn't turn around without hitting an Obama or "no on 8" sign a few months ago.

If you construct a straw man by excluding anyone with any redeeming qualities from the "hipster" category, than of course you are going to think all hipsters are assholes.

Be. Better. Than. Che.
I'm with you. But what the heck does that have to do with hipsters? I can't imagine anything less hip than Che t-shirt. You'd get laughed out of my neighborhood, I can tell you that much.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:20 PM on May 17, 2009 [3 favorites]



That is 90%+ of people who call themselves hipsters

Sorry, I meant "who get called Hipsters." No one calls themself a hipster.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:21 PM on May 17, 2009


However they've been educated to think that what they buy in a store and how they appropriate it is a way to jam that culture.

I don't think educated is really the appropriate word in this sentence. Indoctrinated, perhaps?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:25 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I love Bunuel's Mexican films.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:30 PM on May 17, 2009


meh... kind of like a less funny version of stuffwhitepeoplelike.

Yes, but it's so informative. Stuffwhitepeoplelike is simply satire, this site truly tells you how to impress a hipster. Which is good, because I've been feeling rather un-hip lately...
posted by callmejordan at 1:34 PM on May 17, 2009


I think everyone -- not just hipsters -- should be impressed by the fact that I saw Motley Crue and Loudness in 1986.
posted by The Straightener at 1:42 PM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


Q. How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. I don't know, it's pretty obscure, you probably wouldn't get it anyways.
posted by Tavern at 1:51 PM on May 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


Wait... Is "hipster" short for "grew up fondly in the 70's/80's" or "has a passing art history knowledge" or "enthused about non-practical things"? Because not once in my entire life have I ever thought I was a hipster but I am now concerned that I will be beaten in the streets for being happy while mentioning how awesome it would have been if de Lempicka designed a Transformer.
posted by cheap paper at 1:52 PM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


To join the pile-on: in the few examples I read, the author was explaining things that were painfully obvious: "Hipsters like A Tribe Called Quest. But if you want to impress them, drop names like Del [sic] La Sould or the Jungle Brothers". Really? This guy's readers have never heard of De La Soul? Same for the Joy Division and Bladerunner items. All this stuff is really mainstream, surely? (Or maybe.....I'm a hipster? A really uncool hipster?).
posted by Infinite Jest at 1:58 PM on May 17, 2009


how awesome it would have been if de Lempicka designed a Transformer.

hmmmmmm DENTATOTRON
posted by doobiedoo at 2:01 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I hate hippies too!
posted by Max Power at 2:02 PM on May 17, 2009



Q. How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. I don't know, it's pretty obscure, you probably wouldn't get it anyways.


alternate ending:

A. You mean you don't know?
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 2:03 PM on May 17, 2009 [5 favorites]


Christ Stylus Happenstance, you're such a lightbulb joke scenester.
posted by doobiedoo at 2:15 PM on May 17, 2009


I can't hate or impress something I've never encountered. I'm still not convinced these so-called "hipsters" actually exist. Perhaps all the web sites that reference them are really cryptozoology sites. I think I'd be more likely to run into Bigfoot.
posted by desjardins at 2:29 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


How to get me to avoid a website: name it "How to Impress a Hipster". It could have excellently-photographed nude pics of every woman that I've ever had a crush on, and I'd still have a hard time clicking it.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:39 PM on May 17, 2009


So, these hipsters. They're the LOLCATS of 2009 now?
posted by converge at 2:47 PM on May 17, 2009


How not to impress me: put a fucking right-click trap on your page that pops up a dialog box. Theend.
posted by JHarris at 2:52 PM on May 17, 2009


How to get me to avoid a website: name it "How to Impress a Hipster". It could have excellently-photographed nude pics of every woman that I've ever had a crush on, and I'd still have a hard time clicking it.

Plus, it'd be a real pain to download all those pictures without right-clicking.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 2:54 PM on May 17, 2009 [3 favorites]


i'm grateful the blog turned me onto this "hanno cambiato faccia." in fact i'm downloading it right now -- the internet is fucking cool.
posted by Hammond Rye at 3:25 PM on May 17, 2009


See the common thread? This person is a Goth, not a hipster.

Thank you! I was scrolling down the front page thinking "What? Was on the high school lit mag with whoever wrote this?"

I have to confess that I don't even understand what "hipster" is supposed to mean. It seems so broad and all-encompassing, a throw-away expression of disdain for anyone who thinks they're cooler than they are, or who care too much about appearing not to care. I was much happier with the word we used to use for people like that when I was younger: Oasis fans.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:38 PM on May 17, 2009


It was a funny site, but seems like it was done by someone a bit older. No recent hipster music staples are referenced at all. My god, Jeff Mangum is a deity practically. That site cannot be taken seriously without mentioning ITAOTS (ironic abbreviation, dig it.) Any self respecting hipster should know at least the main E6 bands, and how they interrelate, etc. Past that, I think of Animal Collective, MGMT, Amanda Palmer, Boards of Canada, Gogol Bordello, Blonde Redhead, I could go on forever. Pitchfork Media is a pretty hipster-ish music site.

Anyway, not saying I am a hipster, but I know a few and they do like some music newer than 1989.

That being said, I loved the site. The entries were funny and it turned me on to a lot of obscure film and art stuff I hadn't seen before, and I got a few chuckles.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 3:41 PM on May 17, 2009


Can't believe I forgot this one: Bonnie Prince Billy.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 3:47 PM on May 17, 2009


Ah, Blonde Redhead. I was at a show once where they were headlining, and while watching the opening act, someone sneezed, very loudly and wetly, onto the back of my neck. I turned around, and this girl - the only person right behind me - gives me this look of "What? What did I do?". I went to the restroom and washed her mucus from my neck. Turned out the sneezing girl was the lead singer of Blonde Redhead. So if you're reading this, Kazu Makino, thanks a whole bunch for the flu you gave me. There's nothing I love more than congestion, high fever, and Three's Company re-runs.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:50 PM on May 17, 2009 [5 favorites]


never, i repeat, never get caught skiing.
posted by kitchenrat at 3:56 PM on May 17, 2009


So if you're reading this, Kazu Makino, thanks a whole bunch for the flu you gave me.

Pfft, I caught pinkeye from the Pace Twins. Before BR was big.

The above is not true, but rather a humourous example of what I consider to be the defining - and damning - characteristic of the hipster. It's not about what you like, or even what you wear, but rather a desperate need to derive status from shit, particularly cultural phenomena/ephemera, you ain't really got nothing to do with.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:08 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Y'know, I was pretty happy with the site the moment I opened the Hipster Authors sidebar and saw E. E. Cummings (capitalized and everything). I guess that makes me easy to impress.
posted by Kattullus at 4:29 PM on May 17, 2009


Oh, and the worst birthday I ever had involved seeing Blonde Redhead live.
posted by Kattullus at 4:30 PM on May 17, 2009


Hipster Olympics
posted by spoobnooble at 4:31 PM on May 17, 2009


Q. How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. I don't know, it's pretty obscure, you probably wouldn't get it anyways.


yeah, that joke was funny back when my friends and I were the only ones who had heard of it.
posted by saul wright at 4:56 PM on May 17, 2009 [4 favorites]


I knew that joke back when you could only hear it at this one club downtown. And even then it opened for the Vampire Teabag one.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:10 PM on May 17, 2009



Hipster Olympics
posted by spoobnooble at 4:31 PM


Yeah, I was waiting for someone to post that.

Hipster-ism isn't about clothes. It's about attitude. Annoying attitudes.
posted by Cycloptichorn at 5:11 PM on May 17, 2009


If, as the Wikipedia article suggests, a defining characteristic of people who belong to this particular tribe is a shunning of earnestness and sincerity, we had a word for them back in the '80s, too, when I was of an age to care (a very little) about style and fashion and such. That word was assholes.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:14 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


My wife wants to know what it means if she happens to know more than two people featured on latfh.com but only matches the Heathers and Sugarcubes sections of the How to Impress a Hipster.
posted by furtive at 6:41 PM on May 17, 2009


The singer from Blonde Redhead is a woman?
posted by fshgrl at 6:49 PM on May 17, 2009


By which I mean that I have some Blonde Redhead songs on a mixed tape that are definitely not sung by a woman... Or not unless she's an unusually deep-voiced, masculine sounding woman.
posted by fshgrl at 6:51 PM on May 17, 2009


Hey, now this was a pleasant surprise. I'd never even heard of this before. A 57 second short film by David Lynch.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:17 PM on May 17, 2009


Hipsters are so over, but they were never under(ground). So is making fun of them. This did not even manage to make fun of hipsters, because it so painfully missed the mark on hipsters, somehow cross-breeding them with anyone who listened to alternative music in the 80's and forty-something ex-goths.

Agreed on the cross-breeding. I kinda thought it missed the mark by casting the net too broadly. The comment sections are pretty good.

I can't hate or impress something I've never encountered. I'm still not convinced these so-called "hipsters" actually exist.

Did you not spend any time in the Mission when you were in San Francisco, desjardins? Weekend brunch hours in particular?

The best sentence in the blog: "If you don't get the irony of this site then I feel sorry for you."

I might've messed up that link since I had to COPY AND PASTE THE URL BY WRITING IT ON A PIECE OF PAPER.

posted by salvia at 7:32 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


I have to agree the right-click blocking bugs me, as it prevents me from doing Context Search. Besides which View Source renders the block pointless.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:36 PM on May 17, 2009


Let's ghettoize varied pieces of culture by associating them with a meaningless pejorative!
posted by StopMakingSense at 7:36 PM on May 17, 2009 [2 favorites]


fshgrl: By which I mean that I have some Blonde Redhead songs on a mixed tape that are definitely not sung by a woman... Or not unless she's an unusually deep-voiced, masculine sounding woman.

Some Blonde Redhead tracks are sung by Kazu Makino and some by Amedeo Pace.
posted by Kattullus at 8:28 PM on May 17, 2009


Oh, also this thread reminded me how much I like Charlie Parker and how I haven't listened to any in ages. Time to change that.
posted by Kattullus at 8:36 PM on May 17, 2009


drjimmy11--that's why I linked to the Che+Apple wallpaper. The Che t-shirt is pretty done. Glad to hear that people in your neighborhood are engaged. That hasn't been my experience, or that of my friends.
posted by wuwei at 8:39 PM on May 17, 2009


God, I just found out... I'm a hipster!
posted by KokuRyu at 8:49 PM on May 17, 2009


I can wear my absurdly glittery red-and-black Che T-shirt (the one I wore while dressed up as a glammed-out, feather boa-wearing Che for a Mardi Gras parade, only to end up looking more like Cap'n Jack Sparrow with a glittery che shirt on a Vespa) with my red-and-black Crocs and you can kiss my ass. I may even wear a douchey beret with it while wearing running shoes, and you could still kiss my ass, even if you laugh at me. Just to let you know.
posted by raysmj at 8:54 PM on May 17, 2009


This appears to be largely cribbed from Hipster Handbook (Previously). Did anyone really ever say "deck" before that book?

By the way, that book is like 6 years old now.* Is it time for a new counterculture yet?

*Does pointing out that I liked something better x years ago when it was called y make me a hipster?
posted by naoko at 9:10 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


That was fucking awful. Shamelessly bad.

Golly. The so-called hipsters seem to like all the stuff everybody else likes.

Look. If you find yourself constantly ruminating and lamenting over the mythic "hipster" you either got too much free time, are a bitter ass-wipe... or ARE ONE YOURSELF.

The only thing that I can tell is that these actual hipsters seem to have more fun and get laid more than these other anti-matter hipsters— whose entire existence seems to be about deigning themselves by what they are not and how much they hate that which they are not.
posted by tkchrist at 9:30 PM on May 17, 2009 [1 favorite]


Past that, I think of Animal Collective, MGMT, Amanda Palmer, Boards of Canada, Gogol Bordello, Blonde Redhead, I could go on forever.

(the hipsters have moved on from all of these bands already)
posted by mykescipark at 9:31 PM on May 17, 2009


does using MeFi impress hipsters?
posted by callmejordan at 10:58 PM on May 17, 2009


mykescipark: Only a true hipster would point out how over something is, kudos. I just threw some of the more obvious ones out there because even if they are no longer in vogue, they are pivotal enough that if you haven't heard of them you can't say how much they suck, or how last week they are, or say how the new flavor of the week is so derivative, or how [your favorite band]'s cover of MGMT is so much better than the original etc. I'd list some more bands, but by the time you read this they will be over anyway, so why should I bother.

The stuff I know about is where the hipsters former tastes and my tastes intersect. Most of the people I know that I would define as a true hipster tend to go from what I listed on toward the more twee, shoegazing, navelgazing, indie, folky, emo-ish side of things. Think Apples in Stereo. I've been to more than a few pure hipster music concerts, see the French Kicks for an example of this subgenre perhaps. Not my thing, but i'll listen to anyone once.

Anyway, now that I've gone on and on, I don't think the linked blog is in the loop about hipsters. He seems to have some ideas about his subject, but is missing big chunks of knowledge. He seems to think his obscure 80's proto-goth knowledge will impress the young'uns, but has no inkling of anything current music wise. Things like Bauhaus or Einsturzende Neubauten or other seminal goth bands just don't strike me as things the hipsters I know would fawn over.

I still like the blog and second the gratefulness at finding that awesome David Lynch short, that thing gave me chills. The blog has a lot of good stuff, and is very funny, it just didn't strike me as asolutely nailing the hipster demographic, but I don't know a damn thing about a damn thing, so don't blame me if I'm wrong.

In other words, his site is so over. I have moved on from it already, there is this other cooler site, but I'm not telling anyone but my peeps where it is, sorry.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 11:07 PM on May 17, 2009


Antidises......whatever, I already saw it on your facebook: Do's & Dont's.
posted by headless at 12:37 AM on May 18, 2009


Hipsters are not real. They are a collective hallucination provoked by a creeping horror at how many of our own thoughts is not self-authored.
posted by kid ichorous at 1:36 AM on May 18, 2009


...are not self-authored. Fortunately, I didn't author that.
posted by kid ichorous at 1:37 AM on May 18, 2009


not trying to impress any hipsters that may be lurking here, but, seriously, didn't talking about and complaining about hipsters become passe 2 years ago with that timeout new york article from 2007?

on preview: naoko is even more tired of this than i am, putting the hipster nadir at 6 years ago with the hipster handbook.
posted by molecicco at 2:59 AM on May 18, 2009


Who Is KK Downey

That is all.
posted by saysthis at 4:58 AM on May 18, 2009


Why is it that every conversation involving the term 'hipster' inevitably turns into a very weird sort of argument where every party accuses every other party of being one? Who the fuck cares if someone is a hipster or not?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:13 AM on May 18, 2009


Hipsters are cool people who want you to know they know they're being cool.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:26 AM on May 18, 2009


Who the fuck cares if someone is a hipster or not?

Because they will steal your drugs, vomit in your bathtub, leer at your girlfriend, disparage your music, steal your girlfriend, vomit on your music, leer at your drugs... and will remain trapped in such permutations of behavior until threatened with a broom. I'm saying cat people.
posted by kid ichorous at 5:48 AM on May 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh yeah and they'll be wearing Aladdin Sane facepaints and going woo woo like Bub Rubb the entire time.
posted by kid ichorous at 5:50 AM on May 18, 2009


raysmj: ...dressed up as a glammed-out, feather boa-wearing Che for a Mardi Gras parade...

I don't know hipster from a hole in the ground. I like about half the stuff on the linked website and a lot of what I don't think I like I've never heard of. But if being earnest or sincere denies a person entry into the hallowed halls of hipsterdom then just paint me this season's uncool.

Now, for the real question, raysmj - do you have pics?
posted by djeo at 7:12 AM on May 18, 2009


Whether or not it's specific to hipsters or whomever, I'm bloody well sick of "irony" permeating everything so. You see old photos of dudes in afros and bell-bottoms, doo-wop greaser hair, big Siouxie goth hair, whatever, sure, it's goofy now, but when that photo was taken, that was the SHIT. Even when I was 15 wearing giant black JNCO pants, I somehow had the foresight to know these wouldn't be cool forever.

There's nothing specifically wrong with the things that hipsters like, or claim to like; I grew up on Transformers, I'm 27 years old and STILL like Transformers. The new movies provide a wealth of new media and merchandise for me to consume. If someone calls me out for being a manchild desperately clinging to nostalgia tinged relics of his childhood, I'm not going to go on a diatribe of how I wear stuff like that for kitsch value and to illustrate the absurd commercialism of children's programming or some shit, I'm gonna tell you that Transformers is awesome and you can eat a bag of dicks. Treating everything you wear, say, or do with this roll-eyed caveat of "You don't think I seriously LIKE this stuff do you?" It's like playing tag with those wussy kids who would call "time-out" the moment you were about to tag them.

My problem with Hipsters is thus; doing goofy shit for pussy is part of life, just don't be so fucking coy about it.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 7:26 AM on May 18, 2009 [3 favorites]


Antidisestablishmentarianist: Things like Bauhaus or Einsturzende Neubauten or other seminal goth bands just don't strike me as things the hipsters I know would fawn over.

I see too many of these tattoos to fully accept that Einsturzende Neubauten has crumbled as a hipster touchstone.

Also, Che hasn't disappeared, he's just always been the symbol of a different subculture, radicals. There's a lot of interplay between hipsters and radicals, in some way they're both part of the same subculture, but there is a clear distinction between them, though the edges are kinda fuzzy, populated with hip radicals and radical hipsters.
posted by Kattullus at 7:37 AM on May 18, 2009


Also, sincerity is the new irony (spread the word).
posted by Kattullus at 7:40 AM on May 18, 2009


Kattullus: sincerity is the new irony

Join the conga line, we're trendsetters! q:
posted by djeo at 8:20 AM on May 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


Anyone who gets irritated about hipster appropriation should attend (or better yet, play!) a chiptune show in NYC.

Half of the audience is sloppy UNIX hacker nerds who obsess over minimal technology, and the other half is carefully manicured cooler-than-thou hipsters who are there to ironically appreciate something retro-novel. Everyone hears the same music and ends up dancing and yelling, and their initial intent stops mattering. The high fives and delirious sweaty man-hugs afterward are anything but ironic.

Finding some common ground -- whatever it may be -- with people who are otherwise different than you is the best way to rise above the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory, and rebuild some faith in humanity.
posted by jake at 9:27 AM on May 18, 2009


Actually that's a point - if your mouse even has a right button you probably aren't a hipster.
posted by Artw at 9:30 AM on May 18, 2009


Who are we to say whether a mouse button is right or wrong?
posted by grubi at 9:40 AM on May 18, 2009


I see too many of these tattoos to fully accept that Einsturzende Neubauten has crumbled as a hipster touchstone.

Look at the full picture - we've got black tank top, long black hair, black thong necklace (most likely with Ankh or Scattered Pentagram Pendant). This is not the hipster you are looking for. And I kind of want a Neubauten tat myself, or Tribes of Neurot.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:46 AM on May 18, 2009


LOL@HIPSTERS is the new LOL@XTIANS. I don't know how to feel about that.
posted by ben242 at 10:19 AM on May 18, 2009


I suppose it depends on how you feel about Hipster Churches.
posted by Artw at 10:20 AM on May 18, 2009


FatherDagon: Look at the full picture - we've got black tank top, long black hair, black thong necklace (most likely with Ankh or Scattered Pentagram Pendant). This is not the hipster you are looking for.

To be honest that was just the first Neubauten tattoo picture that came up on Google image search, I linked to it simply as illustration. The point was that I see this tattoo a lot. I've seen a few examples here in Providence, a couple in Iceland, even one in Australia (where the tattoo in my example is from).

I'll note, however, that both Iceland and Providence have a strong noise music culture, so that might be a factor for me.
posted by Kattullus at 10:28 AM on May 18, 2009


That looks a lot like John Dee's Heiroglyphic Monad to me.
posted by Artw at 10:31 AM on May 18, 2009 [2 favorites]


Whoa, that looks like most of the planets conjoined in some horrible typesetting accident. Also, I start to worry that you, I, and Alan Moore are ransacking the same books for story research.
posted by kid ichorous at 10:43 AM on May 18, 2009 [1 favorite]


What affectations in dress, music or conversational topics other people who I'll never associate with want to adopt is no concern of mine. I think the important thing to have in mind here is trucker hats are dead, and have been for quite a while. And isn't that all that really matters?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:03 AM on May 18, 2009


kid ichorous - Heh. It was in a Hunt Emerson cartoon in the last Fortean Times, and so fresh in my mind - I'm pretty sure Moore would remember it in a snap without any prompting and be able to tell you exactly what it means.
posted by Artw at 11:29 AM on May 18, 2009


LOL@HIPSTERS is the new LOL@XTIANS. I don't know how to feel about that.

Wow, that's harsh. On Christians. Even I wouldn't stoop that low.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:46 PM on May 18, 2009


I thought all you had to do to impress a hipster was not give a fuck about them.
posted by davejay at 9:35 PM on May 18, 2009


Aren't we all experts...
posted by hillabeans at 11:23 PM on May 18, 2009


Kattullus: In the midwest anyway, subcultures tend to be fairly well defined. I don't know why, but that is the way it is. Here anyone with an Einsturzende Neubauten tattoo would be a goth, and would dress that way. The hipster culture here is separate from those of differing style, and it is more indie music oriented. As I said, the people I know and would categorize as hipsters wouldn't be impressed, but my intersection is with a very limited subset of a much larger and more indefinable cultural oddity. I am, however, practically on the campus of two universities with 20,000-40,000 students, faculty and staff from across the globe, so things are perhaps more cosmopolitan than your average mid-western stomping ground.

I am by no means an expert, but I like to digest and regurgitate things that I observe and find amusing or interesting. The hipster phenomenon amuses me. I don't know who is more amusing, the hipsters, the haters, or the "who cares just stop talking about it already" crowd.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 1:48 PM on May 19, 2009


Right-click blocks are generally hateful, but I kind of like this one.
posted by Artw at 2:32 PM on May 19, 2009


Greasemonkey? Just do Edit→Preferences / Tools→Options; Content → Enable JavaScript → Advanced…; uncheck "Disable or replace context menus".

I actually don't mind the whiny dialog box then because it amuses me more when my right click menu pops up anyway.

But yeah, tools.
posted by vsync at 5:08 PM on May 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


I can't imagine anything less hip than Che t-shirt. You'd get laughed out of my neighborhood, I can tell you that much.

I've got a black Astro Guevara t-shirt, combining Astro Boy & Che (obviously). How does that rate?
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:07 AM on May 21, 2009


hipstersarefuckingawesome.tumblr.com

So, um, now you know.
posted by mippy at 3:33 AM on May 21, 2009


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