Grab this grasshopper out of my hand

June 17, 2009 11:44 PM

Obama's ninja-like fly swat has been objected to, rejected, genuflected, relatively neglected and hopefully disinfected.
posted by twoleftfeet (120 comments total)

Obama has the cheat codes.
posted by Pronoiac at 11:55 PM on June 17 [5 favorites]

so he is beelzebub, after all
posted by pyramid termite at 11:57 PM on June 17 [2 favorites]

I, for one, injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected not to kill the fly, but to instead welcome our fly overlords.
posted by IvoShandor at 11:57 PM on June 17 [8 favorites]

Now if we can only get our civil rights back.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:58 PM on June 17 [16 favorites]

That video is crazy awesome. Who could object to such precision fly-slaughter? Oh, right ...

the outspoken animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) said they wished Obama had served a better example. “We support compassion for the even the smallest animals," says Bruce Friedrich, VP for Policy at PETA. “We support giving insects the benefit of the doubt."

For fuck's sake, PETA, sit down and shut the hell up. All your self-important preaching only makes me wanna go out club baby seals so at least you'll have a real issue to grandstand about.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:00 AM on June 18 [30 favorites]

For fuck's sake, PETA, sit down and shut the hell up. All your self-important preaching only makes me wanna go out club baby seals so at least you'll have a real issue to grandstand about.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:00 AM on June 18 [+] [!]

Eponysterical.
posted by The Tensor at 12:03 AM on June 18 [8 favorites]

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS.

Cyborgs, at least.

Domo arigato, Mr. Presidento.
posted by jabberjaw at 12:07 AM on June 18 [8 favorites]

PETA never ceases to surpass their own idiocy.

Barely related: Obama's Plan for Gay Rights.
posted by serazin at 12:16 AM on June 18 [5 favorites]

Pretty good, but I'll be impressed when he starts using chopsticks
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:19 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

By the way, the title of this post is an homage to David Carradine, whom I'll always remember for Kung Fu (and not that other thing).
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:22 AM on June 18

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS.

Hmmm.
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:22 AM on June 18

Pretty fly.
posted by tellurian at 12:24 AM on June 18 [9 favorites]

For a half-white guy.
posted by Item at 12:27 AM on June 18 [33 favorites]

I second the motion to tell PETA to give it a rest about the flies thing. There's too damned many of them, they will be here long after we are gone, and you can't prove that they have nerve endings anyway.

That being said, I'm only mildly impressed by Obama's fly-swatting abilities. As I prefer either the lazy efficiency of fly-paper (disregard the ick factor), or the over-kill-ness of a can of hairspray and a lighter.
posted by Severian at 12:33 AM on June 18

I'd really like to know whether, when one of these PETA people gets a tapeworm or something, do they just leave it be out of compassion? It becomes a pet you're really, really close to, who essentially eats off your plate?

Do they refrain from laundering their bedclothes out of compassion for the dust mites?
posted by XMLicious at 12:33 AM on June 18 [6 favorites]

Do they refrain from laundering their bedclothes out of compassion for the dust mites?

Jainists might. They try to avoid killing bugs to a fairly extreme degree.
posted by wildcrdj at 12:39 AM on June 18

Severian - I was thirty years old before I realized the ultimate in bug killing was the wand attachment on my vacuum cleaner. Why chase these critters around swinging a roll of newspaper when all you gotta do is creep up on them and suck'em down into the dust?
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:39 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

I catch flies in a cup covered with cardboard and let them outside. I haven't killed a fly in years. I just don't see the need to kill them when they're so easily relocated.
posted by scrowdid at 12:40 AM on June 18 [16 favorites]

Not killing bugs that you could easily kill is a good way to teach your children about compassion for weaker things.

Which is why I capture flies in a cup and let them outside when my kids are around, and hang the fly traps out of their sight.
posted by davejay at 12:47 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

I just don't see the need to kill them when they're so easily relocated.

It's not about need.

It's about satisfaction.
posted by Jimbob at 12:47 AM on June 18 [9 favorites]

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS.

Hmmm.
posted by carsonb at 12:51 AM on June 18 [9 favorites]

I killed at least 200 mosquitoes today and I'm only sorry it wasn't more. PETA can come out here and give them the benefit of the doubt if they like though.
posted by fshgrl at 12:52 AM on June 18 [3 favorites]

carsonb - what the fuck was that?!
posted by serazin at 12:53 AM on June 18

Why chase these critters around swinging a roll of newspaper when all you gotta do is creep up on them and suck'em down into the dust?

They can survive and reproduce in there. At least the ickier ones. I'd rather not have to contemplate what's colonizing the inside of my vacuum when I'm looking at it
posted by frobozz at 12:53 AM on June 18

and with one smack on youtube obama becomes the new chuck norris.
posted by sexyrobot at 12:54 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

on a related note, did you know that every time President Obama turns his head it's to look into the future and see a better tomorrow?
posted by sexyrobot at 12:55 AM on June 18 [21 favorites]

frobozz - Yikes. I guess I'll find out if I've been vacuuming down insects such as those next time I dump the dust cylinder. That should be fun.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:57 AM on June 18

Just dump it into a river of lava and you should be okay.
posted by Item at 12:59 AM on June 18 [4 favorites]

Ok, that read like a freaky cross of Clive Barker ghostwriting for Dan Brown, with some blushingly implied homoeroticism and presidential slash, and enough insanity to make even Grant Morrison seem pedestrian.

carsonb just broke my brain.
posted by Iosephus at 1:08 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

The only reason I'm awake is a mosquito up in here fat with my blood, I could use a visit from President Obama right about now.
posted by breezeway at 1:23 AM on June 18

carsonb - what the fuck was that?!

Proof that there's people on the internet even crazier than you.
posted by Item at 1:23 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

I once jokingly swung a big kitchen knife at a fly. The abdomen fell to the floor while the head and thorax (with wings attached) carried on buzzing round.

It was actually a bit repulsive.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 1:26 AM on June 18 [7 favorites]

I totally fail to be impressed by this.

He didn't eat the fly, did he?

He didn't flick out his reptilian tongue and *swurp* *blink* go back to the interview, did he?

He didn't catch the fly and then throw the dead fly on the interviewer and say "here, lunch's on me", did he?

Could have been so much more boss.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:37 AM on June 18 [8 favorites]

and what was so weird about the story carsonb linked to?

... what?
posted by From Bklyn at 1:38 AM on June 18

Little Fly,
Thy summer's play
My thoughtless hand
Has brushed away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink, and sing,
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength and breath
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die.

(W.Blake)
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 1:40 AM on June 18 [11 favorites]

help me.... help me....
posted by geos at 1:44 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Man swats fly! Film at 11 on YouTube.
posted by moonbiter at 2:11 AM on June 18

Brother's on a roll.
posted by bardic at 2:11 AM on June 18

Poem:
But I, a man, must swat you with my hate,
Slap you across the air and crush your flight,
Must mangle with my shoe and smear your blood,
Expose your little guts pasty and white,
Knock your head sidewise like a drunkard’s hat,
Pin your wings under like a crow’s,
Tear off your flimsy clothes
And beat you as one beats a rat.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:20 AM on June 18

I've spent the last few weeks catching flies that somehow sneak into my room and releasing them outside, so Obama quickly dispatching that fly should anger me, but I guess I'm not PETA enough. I did after all initiate a fly genocide last summer after fruit flies started breeding in the kitchen. I gave them a week or two to die off on their own, but they didn't take the hint. I mean, my general philosophy is that I shouldn't kill something unless I'm going to eat or make use of it somehow, and killing because something is annoying seems like a pretty weak reason, but sometimes it's hard to avoid if you want to uphold something resembling the socially accepted definition of cleanliness. Although every summer there seems to be a spider web between my car's passenger side mirror and the door, and I don't do anything to get rid of it because I feel like a badass with my little spider buddy 8o]
posted by palidor at 2:20 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

Can't say the fly wasn't warned.

Piss off the Prez, you get dead.
posted by bwg at 2:29 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

The problem with swatting houseflies (as opposed to biting flies, strangely) is that they've got all these gooey innards that get all over your hand.
Just imagine if it had been a mouse.

>: Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS.
Be certain Bush practiced for hours and hours with the Secret Service avoiding hurled objects.
posted by dunkadunc at 2:33 AM on June 18

He was just enforcing the no-fly zone around the president.
posted by therubettes at 2:38 AM on June 18 [77 favorites]

Here is the thing: flies have no respect for the fact that I am a million times bigger and find them annoying. A mouse will run and hide. Even a cockroach will scurry under the fridge. But flies think they get a free pass. As I am typing right now, a fly landed on my left hand. That is not acceptable.

There are so many where I live that you can see them completely coating the power lines. They move in clouds thick enough that you can use your hand to wave them away from your face and hit several flies in midair with a single slow swipe. If you let a drop of coke fall to the ground (I did this as an experiment) the spot will be covered with 10 to 20 flies, climbing over each other to get to the coke, in less than a minute.

Plus they can carry cholera and hepatitis e.

Outside, I concede. They both outnumber and (collectively) outweigh me. But in the house I am merciless. I probably kill between two and three hundred a day. Go Mr. President.
posted by Nothing at 3:09 AM on June 18 [6 favorites]

Goddamn. I'm just getting used to the ten-foot rabbit. Now I have to make room for the black man and his partner? I'll not move. We're in for it.
posted by LeeJay at 3:18 AM on June 18

Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS.

HMMM?
posted by TheTorns at 3:30 AM on June 18

The problem with PETA's response to this is that the President did treat the fly ethically. He didn't grab it, hold it down against its will, and tear off its wings like a sadistic little boy. No, one clean swat, and it was dead before it knew it.

PETA's arguments never hold any water in my view, because they routinely forget that humans are animals too. If you're campaigning for non-human animal rights at the expense of humans, you're doing it wrong.
posted by explosion at 3:34 AM on June 18 [6 favorites]

Goddamn. I'm just getting used to the ten-foot rabbit. Now I have to make room for the black man and his partner? I'll not move. We're in for it.

Holy crap, where do get my hands on some of that.
posted by From Bklyn at 3:42 AM on June 18

I just discovered the swearing in that video I linked to has been beeped out by Adult Swim. This offends me deeply, so here's the uncensored version on Youtube.
posted by TheTorns at 3:48 AM on June 18

Never swat a fly,
He may love another fly,
He may sit with her and sigh
The way I do with you.

Never a harm a flea,
He may have a favorite she
That he bounces on his knee
The way I do with you!

Never stop a bee if he is going anywhere,
You may be concluding some terrific love affair!
Be careful!

Don't step on an ant
In the middle of a pant,
He may want to but he can't
The way I do with you!


(DeSylva, Brown, Henderson)
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:02 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

Well, Biden did say this guy would be tested.

I think he passed. Now we can move on.
posted by mmoncur at 4:02 AM on June 18 [3 favorites]

jabberjaw: "Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS. "

Good thing that John Harwood didn't ask any questions about porridge birds.
posted by octothorpe at 4:27 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

I would have shooed that fly. It grosses me out to think of swatting flies with my hands.

But in the house I am merciless. I probably kill between two and three hundred a day.

WHY are there 200-300 flies in your house daily? Do you not have screens on your doors and windows?

I don't get too many flies in my house, thank goodness. I do get mice, and occasional weird insects I've never seen before. Sometimes I see the largest black shelled cricket-like things I've ever seen. They are a good inch long. There's one kind of insect I see occasionally that is a sort of centipede or millipede like creature — whichever it is, it just seems to have an obscene number of legs. One time I squished one with a tissue, and a couple of the legs fell off on the counter. I watched, transfixed with horror, as the detached legs just kept wiggling for a full ten seconds.
posted by orange swan at 4:39 AM on June 18

Excellent use of the word "boss," From Bklyn.
posted by Mister_A at 4:44 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Somali pirates, flies .... soft on security my ass
posted by ElvisJesus at 4:54 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Man swats fly: that's not a story. Fly swats man: now that's a story.
posted by Electric Dragon at 4:58 AM on June 18

Jimmy Carter carried a large, bulky, translucent satchel. Darkish red and purple clumps of indistinct flesh could be seen through the glistening varicose pouch: an animal casing of some kind. Jimmy Carter stroked the distended sac reverently while addressing Barack. “These are the Reagan Organs. They have yet to be transferred into a Melchoki Jar like the ones you see adorning this chamber. Until the Jar is ready it is my duty to carry and protect the Organs...."

Barack Obama lowered his shoulder and dashed towards Jimmy Carter at full speed. There was a tremendous collision and the Reagan Sac was caught between them. The pressure of the two men smashing together applied a stress to the Reagan Sac which was too great for it to bear. The thin casing tore completely apart and the precious intestines and their preservative fluids were ejected, spiraling out into the surrounding area, whipping and coiling in their anguish. Barack Obama’s face sustained a gigantic splash of Reagan’s juice which seared his eyes and entered his beleaguered mouth, passing down his throat and scorching the soft tissues within. One of Reagan’s intestines, blinded by fury, wrapped itself around the exposed throat of Jimmy Carter. Within a few seconds it had wound so tightly that Jimmy Carter’s neck was catastrophically crushed. The intestine continued its constrictions and a moment later Jimmy’s eyes, ballooned and engorged with blood, erupted in a shower of meaty ocular detritus before his entire head detached from his body, launching high into the air on a jet of blood where it collided with the ceiling of the Chamber, exploding into a putrid carnage which cascaded down onto Gerald Ford, who was even more befuddled than usual. Barack didn’t waste time to witness the spectacular mutilation and death of Jimmy Carter. Even before Jimmy’s head separated, Barack had turned his attention toward George W. Bush.

I'd vomit but I'm laughing too hard. carsonb, I...well, I don't know what to say.
posted by mediareport at 5:34 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Why chase these critters around swinging a roll of newspaper when all you gotta do is creep up on them and suck'em down into the dust?

They can survive and reproduce in there. At least the ickier ones. I'd rather not have to contemplate what's colonizing the inside of my vacuum when I'm looking at it

There is also nothing to stop them from just crawling back out through the hose. It's much more fun and effective to fry them with an electric swatter or freeze them with spray from an inverted can of compressed air. Then flush them down the toilet - they will also crawl back out of garbage cans.
posted by metaplectic at 5:47 AM on June 18

The first two videos of last night's Colbert Report referenced this and were pretty funny.
posted by mdn at 5:49 AM on June 18

Where was the Secret Service anyway? I'm not sure I feel comfortable if a simple insect can get that kind of access to the president.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 5:52 AM on June 18

...our Presidents are ROBOTS.

Robama?
posted by orme at 6:20 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

His Beleaguered Mouth - my new band name

Witness the Spectacular Mutilation and Death of Jimmy Carter - our first album
posted by minifigs at 6:29 AM on June 18 [3 favorites]

any good hunter eats what he kills.
posted by lester at 6:34 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

WHY are there 200-300 flies in your house daily? Do you not have screens on your doors and windows?

Look at Nothing's location, orange swan. Speaking as someone who's lived in Central America, at certain climes you're going to have insects in your house unless it's hermetically sealed.

And then even the roaches will get in.
posted by elfgirl at 6:37 AM on June 18

I catch flies live in my hands, unharmed and then let them go. Not because I love flies but because I'm a total fucking show off.
posted by longbaugh at 6:41 AM on June 18 [4 favorites]

I, for one, welcome our new, insect-killing overlord.
posted by The Bellman at 6:42 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

Ah... the honeymoon period. In which the new President could fart in Hu Jintao's face during trade negotiations and the media would sigh how it was redolent of cedar.

Bush II had his as he manfully cleared brush. In an alternate universe where the economy didn't fall apart for another 12 months, President McCain is enjoying his. And in 2012, President Romney or whoever will be enjoying theirs.
posted by Joe Beese at 6:43 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Bill Clinton let Monica get his fly.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:48 AM on June 18

And in 2012, President Romney or whoever will be enjoying theirs.

Dream on, Joe Beese. I'll give you a hint: It won't be a fly, it'll be a moose. It won't be a CNN interview room, it'll be a helicopter. And it won't be "manful". . . . It'll be "hot".
posted by The Bellman at 6:53 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

I've been a vegetarian for almost fifteen years, and PETA's drivel just makes me want to stab kittens with knitting needles.
posted by ixohoxi at 7:00 AM on June 18 [8 favorites]

carsonb's linked story was... amusing, but we already know that the Prez does whatever a spider can. Including eat flies. (He saved it for later.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:03 AM on June 18

Reminds me of the scene from The Fifth Element where the president smashes a cockroach with his shoe. Of course that cockroach happened to be a listening bug for the villain. I wonder what super villain happened to commission this fly?
posted by arcolz at 7:07 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

There's been a fly buzzing around my head for the last 2 days. Where can I get an Obama of my own?
posted by jacquilynne at 7:09 AM on June 18

Some dong sent us a terrible YouTube edit of this last night via the contact form, chopped up ineptly with some sound effects to be Obama Craps Pants On Television.

So it's comforting to find out at least what the hell they were starting with.
posted by cortex at 7:09 AM on June 18 [3 favorites]

Pitiful humans: your President could have killed it with his mind.
posted by silkyd at 7:17 AM on June 18

Plus they can carry cholera and hepatitis e.

Wait, whoa...there's a Hepatitis E now? Is there some sort of liver-disease arms race I'm not aware of going on?
posted by kittyprecious at 7:20 AM on June 18

I didn't think there were any flys on television.
posted by storybored at 7:24 AM on June 18

I catch flies live in my hands, unharmed and then let them go. Not because I love flies but because I'm a total fucking show off.

You want to freak your friends out? Why, of course I do. What kind of stupid question is that?? Next time you catch a fly in your hand, run a sink full of water -- enough to submerge the hand + fly anyhow. Hold the fly underwater until it stops moving, being careful not to crush it. Put Dead Fly on a flat surface -- paper plate, whatever. Poke it a few times to demonstrate that it is indeed dead, but again be careful not to damage it. Pour table salt onto the fly, until Dead Fly is entirely buried under a mound of salt -- ENTIRELY buried, as in you should not be able to see the fly at all. Say a few magic words and wait about 30 seconds.

The fly will dig itself out of the salt mound (creepy as hell!), crawl up to the top, clean its wings and fly away.

Works best if your friends are really stoned... even better if they're really gullible ("I SUMMON THE POWERZ OF SATAN!!1!")
posted by LordSludge at 7:25 AM on June 18 [19 favorites]

>: I wonder what super villain happened to commission this fly?

Actually, this fly was pointedly released by the Secret Service to give Obama an opportunity to demonstrate his cat-like Marxist reflexes- crushing flies today, crushing enemies tomorrow.
posted by dunkadunc at 7:26 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

here's been a fly buzzing around my head for the last 2 days. Where can I get an Obama of my own?

SkyMall? Hammacher Schlemmer?
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 7:37 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

I am reminded of the caption on my favorite 'shopped photo of Obama ever: "Chill the fuck out, I got this." Right on for killing the fly, Mr. President. I myself am a huge fan of killing disease-ridden creatures that can multiply faster than I can.
posted by PuppyCat at 7:37 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

I invite flies over for tea, and occasionally I'll have some of those Hawaiian rolls which make it extra special. Many of the flies I've had tea with are never heard from again. Sometimes, I sit and worry, and wonder where they are now. Stuck in some psycho's vacuum? Searching for lost family members, not knowing they have been horribly dismembered by kitchen knives? Trapped under a cup and exiled to the wastelands? Those executed by the state, they're the lucky ones. Then I weep, and go onto the internet to inform people "omg I am actually crying right now".
posted by Brocktoon at 7:41 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Barack Obama hates black... flies.
posted by Midnight Rambler at 7:42 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

I had no idea there were so many anti-fly-killing types on Metafilter. I really don't know how anyone can feel guilt about killing flies, mosquitos, or similar disease-carrying, swarming insects; you're not going to wipe them out by smushing or zapping the ones that get close to you. And they'll get you after you're dead anyway.

I mean, I use organic bug repellent, but that is to benefit me, not the bugs.
posted by emjaybee at 7:52 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Where was the Secret Service anyway? I'm not sure I feel comfortable if a simple insect can get that kind of access to the president.
Well until they took it down with the... Sorry. I meant, yeah, he slapped it dead. He did. The President. On his own. Uh huh. He sure did. All Kung Fu Kid and what have you. How about that. Ha. Ha.

Move along now. Thank you.
posted by GeckoDundee at 7:59 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

IvoShandor: I, for one, injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected not to kill the fly

Kid, we only have one question: Have you ever been arrested?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:04 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Awesome!

He must have been pretending that fly was the Bill of Rights, or maybe a gay person. I love this guy so much I just can't stand it.
posted by drjimmy11 at 8:23 AM on June 18 [3 favorites]

You can also stun flies with canned air held upside down to "freeze" then, then tie very thin thread or a human hair around their neck. When they thaw and wake up, you have a fly on a leash. You can keep em in the freezer for longer periods of storage.
posted by internet!Hannah at 8:24 AM on June 18

You know, if George Bush swatted a fly, and then got his yes-men to tell him what a good job he did, and made MSNBC film the dead fly…

Well, let's just say it would be a totally different discussion.
posted by paisley henosis at 8:28 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

Also: I'm so glad that we, as a society, are so post-race that a president, who happens to be black, is able to do a totally normal, everyday thing without it becoming a Topic.

I swear to God, we will get a full news cycle on the First Black American Presidential Fart Captured on Film. And the talking heads will all pretend it is a legitimate thing to discuss.
posted by paisley henosis at 8:31 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

hillary clinton swats fly, breaks elbow
posted by pyramid termite at 8:37 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

You know, if George Bush swatted a fly, and then got his yes-men to tell him what a good job he did, and made MSNBC film the dead fly…

Well, let's just say it would be a totally different discussion.

That's because George W. Bush (to whom I presume you are referring) was an illiterate and possibly insane imbecile who did more harm to the people of any number of nations in a shorter period of time than many historical tyrants, dictators, terrorists (actual meaning), and even genocidists did their entire careers.

Barack Obama, on the other hand—as an individual and a representative—as done more in less than a single year to inspire world's population (in the very least) than the last eight US presidents combined.

An appropriate analogy to what you are saying that is that if Richard Nixon had killed the fly, and then had the moment captured and replayed, it would spin in a very different way than had, say, Jimmy Carter.

And for precisely the same reasons, you are right.
posted by humannaire at 8:54 AM on June 18

humannaire: That's because George W. Bush (to whom I presume you are referring) was an illiterate and possibly insane imbecile who did more harm to the people of any number of nations in a shorter period of time than many historical tyrants, dictators, terrorists (actual meaning), and even genocidists did their entire careers.


No…shit? Who the fuck ever said GW was a good person, ever? Christ, take a cold shower.

My point, which you completely fucking missed, was that when the Good President does something, then we talk about it being interesting/funny/whatever, but when the Bad President does the same thing we talk about how ridiculous or bad it is.

If Obama landed an F-16 on an aircraft carrier, the reaction would be quite different from when the last guy did it, even though it would be the same action. Which is what I said, but apparently it was more important to you to give yourself a hernia than to catch my drift.

Whatever. This is stupid and shouldn't even be discussed as though it carried even the weight of a fly.
posted by paisley henosis at 9:07 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

I hate PETA.
I hate flies.

I am trying really, really hard not to say I love Obama, but goddamn it ...
posted by liza at 9:08 AM on June 18

In college, the smoking room was attached to a food area that rarely got cleaned and this obviously made it a breeding ground for flies. You could walk in the room and easily find 20 or 30 of the things buzzing around on any given day.

Because the way my schedule played out, I spent a lot of time in there waiting for friends to finish up their classes, and in my boredom I became an absolutely expert fly catcher; To this day, I can with one hand, reach out and snatch a fly off a table almost every time on the first try. This works because I did it so often, it became a muscle memory and I don't have to even think about it, I just see the fly and suddenly it's in my hand. I'll usually hold my fist up to my ear to confirm that I caught it, and then I'll let it go with a small grunt of satisfaction.

I should reiterate the "without thinking about it" part, because apparently if you absentmindedly do this in a work meeting, people will look at you funny.

Even more so if you've been doing it repeatedly to the same fly.
posted by quin at 9:11 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

Samurai Obama is more real than any of us imagined.
posted by naju at 9:17 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

(I had no idea fly-catching was an usual skill -- been doing that since I was a little kid. Way more impressive if you snatch em out of the air... with chopsticks)
posted by LordSludge at 9:27 AM on June 18

"My point, which you completely fucking missed, was that when the Good President does something, then we talk about it being interesting/funny/whatever, but when the Bad President does the same thing we talk about how ridiculous or bad it is."

Try replacing "Good President" with "articulate scholar", and "Bad President" with "person who has failed at everything he's done in life".

Comparing Bush to Obama as if the fact that they're both a president makes them the same is silly. Bush was a show-off, a drunk frat boy, a punk trying to out do his daddy.

It's no surprise that when he did goofy stuff it came off looking ridiculous. That's how he got attention and affirmation his whole life. Being the life of the party. Being a clown.

It should also be no surprise that Obama can bring a certain grace and charm to such things.
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:32 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

I must say tho, Mike Relm has done a fantastic remix of the swatting.
posted by samsara at 9:43 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Even more so if you've been doing it repeatedly to the same fly.


What a werid day that must have been for the fly. Well, life, cause they only live like 15 hours and most of that was spent in your hand.
posted by The Whelk at 9:50 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Robama?

Just as long as he doesn't start taking breaks to try to find a "Sarah Connor."

"Come viss me if you hope to change."
posted by ilana at 9:54 AM on June 18 [1 favorite]

I think if I was president I'd set things like this up. I'd have the CIA get a trained bug to fly into my copsticks or something. Have a baby in a greet line freaking out, then suddenly start laughing when I touched him. That sort of thing. Having staged events where the president buys a burger just seems like a waste. Between the CIA, DARPA, and the NSA it seems like he could come up with some badass staged miracles.
posted by y6y6y6 at 10:00 AM on June 18 [2 favorites]

It's no surprise that when he did goofy stuff it came off looking ridiculous. That's how he got attention and affirmation his whole life. Being the life of the party. Being a clown. It should also be no surprise that Obama can bring a certain grace and charm to such things.

As a person who first decided to support the guy when he called up that reporter and apologized for stomping on his game, I agree that Obama is charming and that this is a tremendous asset to him.

But humans have a definite tendency to see all the good in people they like, and all the bad in people the don't. Bush could have had that exact same, "Did you see that, Fliescher? Did you like that?" interaction with his press secretary and peeps would have been all over it as the act of an arrogant frat-boy always demanding obsequious applause from his gang of underlings.

Being just...dreamy is a valuable quality for a leader because it leads people to instinctively support them rather than stepping back and thinking critically about their policies.

I want Obama to a be one charming motherfucker. It's gonna help him get a lot of stuff done that I like. But our brains are not as one. I'm sure there stuff he's gonna want to do or not that I'm not gonna like. And that being the case, it's wise to step back sometimes and give Price Awesomeness the hairy eyeball...

Fly thing was petty sweet, though.
posted by Diablevert at 10:04 AM on June 18 [4 favorites]

For heaven's sake, does anyone expect PETA to say anything else? The whole point of a principled stand is that there can be no exceptions -- they're not the People for Ethical Treatment of Some Animals. If you believe abortion is murder then you must be opposed to it without exceptions for rape etc.

As for Mr Obama -- hell, anyone can swat a sitting fly. I want my president to be better than that; I want him to be able to grab one in flight. With his jaws. And then eat it. (But I'm just one of those pinko liberals for whom he'll never be able to do enough.)
posted by phliar at 10:20 AM on June 18

I guess not everyone went to a summer camp where you learned how to hypnotize a fly. (we learned a two handed method I can't find on video)
posted by nomisxid at 10:23 AM on June 18

How would he do against Brundlefly?

President Bush...noticing that there was a lot about al Qaeda, asked Condi Rice why it was that we couldn't stop 'swatting flies' and eliminate al Qaeda.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:42 AM on June 18

a fly is not technically an animal, is it?
are insects animals?
posted by bitteroldman at 11:57 AM on June 18

the last 5 seconds of the Obama fly

Also:

The Fly
by Karl Shapiro

Oh hideous little bat the size of snot,
With polyhedral eyes and shabby clothes,
To populate the stinking cat you walk
The promontory of the dead man's nose,

Climb with the fine leg of a Duncan Phyfe
The smoking mountains of my food
And in a comic mood
In mid-air take to bed a wife.

Riding and riding with your filth of hair
On gluey foot or wing, forever coy,
Hot from the compost and green sweet decay
Sounding your buzzer like an urchin toy;
You dot all whiteness with diminutive stool;
In the tight belly of the dead
Burrow with hungry head
And inlay maggots like a jewel.

At your approach the great horse stomps and paws
Bringing the hurricane of his heavy tail;
Shod in disease you dare to kiss my hand
Which sweeps against you like an angry flail;
Still you return, return, trusting your wing
To draw you from the hunter's reach
That learns to kill to teach
Disorder to the tinier thing.

My peace is your disaster. For your death
Children like spiders cup their pretty hands
And wives resort to chemistry of war.
In fens of sticky paper and quicksands
You glue yourself to death. Where you are stuck
You struggle hideously and beg;
You amputate your leg
Imbedded in the amber muck.

But I, a man, must swat you with my hate,
Slap you across the air and crush your flight,
Must mangle with my shoe and smear your blood,
Expose your little guts pasty and white,
Knock your head sidewise like a drunkard's hat,
Pin your wings under like a crow's,
Tear off your flimsy clothes
And beat you as one beats a rat.

Then like Gargantua I stride among
The corpses strewn like raisins in the dust,
The broken bodies of the narrow dead
That catch the thrust with fingers of disgust.
I sweep. One gyrates like a top and falls
And stunned, stone blind, and deaf
Buzzes it's frightful F
And dies between three cannibals.
posted by madamjujujive at 12:03 PM on June 18

bitteroldman : a fly is not technically an animal, is it? are insects animals?

Kingdom: Animalia

Yep, they're animals.
posted by quin at 12:05 PM on June 18

Try not to complain about trivial matters. If you do, then your legitimate complaints will be seen as trivial as well.
posted by discountfortunecookie at 12:18 PM on June 18 [1 favorite]

Whatever. This is stupid and shouldn't even be discussed as though it carried even the weight of a fly.

And yet... you are here doing so. Your original point may have had merit, but that kind of drained away with the reply.
posted by edgeways at 12:35 PM on June 18

That's the same fly that put Cheney in a wheelchair, Mr Potter style.

Obama's obviously a Vulcan, and he's the best Vulcan for the job.
posted by Hickeystudio at 1:32 PM on June 18

I was sure yesterday that this was either 1) someone trolling the AP by making this up and no one had thought to fact check before posting or 2) PETA just trying to get itself in the news again in order to drum up new members. Guess it's 2.

Someone already mentioned mosquitoes, and boy, I just have to think that all the PETA folks kvetching about this must not live in the deep south. Or anywhere with a large number of insects. In particular Louisiana. Granted when I lived there I had several holes in the wooden floor of the house that I lived in so I shared the place with more bugs than I can ever give the correct names to. Many of which wanted to sting, bite and/or drink my blood. And as they outnumbered me I wouldn't call mine the winning side of the battle. I won't even go into the swarm of bees that tried to move in there, or the scorpions that tried to move in with me in Alabama.

So yes, let's invite those PETA folk down to Louisiana, dress them in black, and slather them with BBQ sauce. Then we can all go on a lovely swamp tour at dusk. I'll bring my camera.

By the way, people who consider themselves PETA supporters but who own pets? They don't think you should do that either. (I once worked for the corporate offices of a pet chain who had to negotiate with PETA, and read up on them back then. I'm pretty sure it hasn't changed - I'll let someone else find the links since reading their websites usually annoys me.)
posted by batgrlHG at 3:41 PM on June 18 [1 favorite]

While I know that mosquitoes are attracted to the color black I have no idea about the BBQ sauce. I'm pretty sure it'd attract flies though. And so possibly make the person a more appetizing meal for our insect friends.
posted by batgrlHG at 3:46 PM on June 18

phliar: The whole point of a principled an extremist stand is that there can be no exceptions

Fixed. That's the problem with extremists and fundamentalists, right there, isn't it?
posted by yiftach at 4:10 PM on June 18

Also the average housefly only lives from 15 to 25 days. So no one has any clue whether this was a youngish or oldish fly - just that either way it's not going to be around for much longer. Which makes it seem even sillier for PETA to get jazz'd up about.

Note that from the ABC link: "Friedrich admits that despite his fly-swatting ways, the President has been a champion for animal rights in the past. PETA claims to be pleased by Obama’s denouncement of factory farming, Canadian seal hunting and Michelle Obama’s stance against wearing fur."

So....PETA admits that this president has already addressed some of the larger issues they wanted him to speak against - but they want insect compassion too. And then they wonder why people don't take them seriously.
posted by batgrlHG at 4:16 PM on June 18

Oh man, Barack Obama is just so cool. I could watch that video over and over, and I am not kidding.

jabberjaw: Holy crap. This, along with the amazing Bush shoe-dodging episode, solidify my newfound belief that our Presidents are ROBOTS.

Cyborgs, at least.

Unfortunately, I think my prime minister has already won the Most Lifelike Robot In Charge of a Country contest.

/is jealous of Americans with their smart, handsome leader
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 6:52 PM on June 18

Surely this…

wait, am I in the right thread?
posted by hattifattener at 9:55 PM on June 18

"Can't do it. System overload. Circuits breaking down," Obama said, mimicking a robot.

From a fundraiser speech yesterday.
posted by jabberjaw at 9:25 AM on June 19

Iosephus: "Ok, that read like a freaky cross of Clive Barker ghostwriting for Dan Brown, with some blushingly implied homoeroticism and presidential slash, and enough insanity to make even Grant Morrison seem pedestrian. carsonb just broke my brain."

Okay, I have to go see what you guys are talking ab– oh sweet Jesus what the hell?!
posted by WCityMike at 9:59 AM on June 20