I await Trepanation with great Trepidation.

June 18, 2009 12:01 PM

We've discussed trepanation, the boring of holes in the head as practiced in antiquity and by a fringe do it yourself-ers, before. There now seems to be research indicating that the procedure may have medical merit, and even help stave off age related cognitive decline. This curious research brought to you by the Beckly Foundation which "promotes the investigation of consciousness and its modulation from a multidisciplinary perspective" and has a sweet logo.
posted by phrontist (50 comments total)

Drill, baby, drill!

I'm sorry.
posted by Joe Beese at 12:06 PM on June 18 [6 favorites has favorites]

That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:06 PM on June 18 [13 favorites has favorites]

zzzzt! ZZZt! ZZZZZZT!

ah, that's better.
posted by longsleeves at 12:10 PM on June 18

I clicked the link with some trepanation.
posted by hal9k at 12:12 PM on June 18 [9 favorites has favorites]

It would explain that whistling sound I hear when the wind blows.
posted by tommasz at 12:13 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

I need these puns like I NEED A FREAKING FREAKING IN THE FRAKING BACK OF MY FREAKING HEAD.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:14 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

Black as your soul / I'd rather die / Than give you control
posted by scrowdid at 12:15 PM on June 18 [4 favorites has favorites]

I only trepan so that Dust can enter
posted by edgeways at 12:16 PM on June 18 [7 favorites has favorites]

With a sweet logo, how could they be wrong?
posted by owtytrof at 12:17 PM on June 18

Gives new meaning to a proper skull fuck.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 12:17 PM on June 18

Plus, if you do this it prevents the government mind-control waves from working much better than a tinfoil hat.
posted by XMLicious at 12:18 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

Booooooooooring.
posted by darksasami at 12:19 PM on June 18 [12 favorites has favorites]

I just want the job title of "trepanator"
posted by MysticMCJ at 12:21 PM on June 18

practiced in antiquity and by a fringe do it yourself-ers

Trepanation is commonly used by bonafide doctors to relieve pressure on the brain from burst blood vessels or remove tumors, among other reasons. It goes by a different name now, but it's not at all relegated to antiquity.
posted by JohnFredra at 12:24 PM on June 18

hey guys watch me over-trepinate a plate of skull beans.
posted by JohnFredra at 12:26 PM on June 18 [2 favorites has favorites]

If it was good enough for the mad doctor in Frankenhooker, it's good enough for me.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:30 PM on June 18

"Because we're aliens. That's what we do."

Giggity!
posted by zarq at 12:31 PM on June 18

Gives new meaning to a proper skull fuck.
posted by Christ, what an asshole at 12:17 PM

Which, in turn, eponysterically gives new meaning to "fuck the skull of jesus"
posted by gurple at 12:38 PM on June 18

What the world needs now is another folk singer.
posted by billysumday at 12:42 PM on June 18 [3 favorites has favorites]

I just wanted to have a place to keep my candle steady.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:44 PM on June 18

OK that logo is fucking creepy.
posted by longsleeves at 12:44 PM on June 18

Anyone else immediately think of Mason from Dead Like Me?
posted by limeonaire at 12:53 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

billysumday, are you trying to get me in bed?
posted by davejay at 12:54 PM on June 18

yes
posted by billysumday at 12:57 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

Of course they help stave off cognitive decline. They're speed holes. They make the brain go faster.
posted by Krrrlson at 1:03 PM on June 18 [4 favorites has favorites]

And, amazingly, a key plot point in the novel "Anne's House of Dreams". Anne of Green gabbles, that is. Anne's husband, Gilbert, now a practicing doctor, takes Anne's best friend's mach-child husband to Montreal for a trepanation so that he might regain his senses. SPOLIER WARNING: it turns out to be the guy's twin brother!

Seriously. The Anne of Green Gables novels get weird later on.
posted by GuyZero at 1:04 PM on June 18

man-child. sheesh.
posted by GuyZero at 1:05 PM on June 18

Seriously. The Anne of Green Gables novels get weird later on.

Wow, no kidding. Now I'm sad I stopped reading at #3.
posted by gurple at 1:09 PM on June 18

Impartiality fail.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:14 PM on June 18 [2 favorites has favorites]

That is a pretty sweet logo, although I think it might be more of an insignia.
posted by slogger at 1:15 PM on June 18

Trepanation is commonly used by bonafide doctors to relieve pressure on the brain from burst blood vessels or remove tumors, among other reasons. It goes by a different name now, but it's not at all relegated to antiquity.

In fact, per capita (it means "PER HEAD", hahahaha!) trepanation is more common now than at any other point in history. It's most common use is to relieve swelling in the brain caused by head injuries sustained in car accidents.

Thank you, Biological Psychology class! Why is it the only things that I retain from college involve morbid treatments for massive head trauma?
posted by Parasite Unseen at 1:23 PM on June 18

yes

\o/ yaaaaaaaaaaay
posted by davejay at 1:29 PM on June 18

Like so many moments in life, drilling holes in people's heads is one of those "It seemed like a good idea at the time" and "Vodka's great; it steadies my hands and acts as an antibiotic!" and "What do you mean we shouldn't use a spade-bit" and "So, how exactly are we gonna get rid of this body?" things that science should probably embrace wholeheartedly.
posted by quin at 1:29 PM on June 18 [5 favorites has favorites]

DIY.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:31 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

Holistic medicine.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:33 PM on June 18 [4 favorites has favorites]

Why is it the only things that I retain from college involve morbid treatments for massive head trauma?

Maybe it's that unseen parasite?

Cabinet Magazine had an article and interview by Christopher Turner with Amanda Feilding. It's chock-full of interesting quotes.

"It’s not a difficult operation.... Drilling a hole in one’s head is really a nerve battle, doing something which obviously every instinct in your body is against. In a sense it’s quite satisfying that one can overcome one’s nerves to do it."

posted by filthy light thief at 1:39 PM on June 18 [2 favorites has favorites]

Michael Ironside in Scanners was right!

Michael Ironside is always right.
posted by brundlefly at 1:45 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

Anne's best friend's mach-child husband

I could only love this more if it were Diana's mech-child husband.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:46 PM on June 18

OK, the whole article is really interesting. I stopped reading too early on the first go-through. Though she, um, drilled her own hole the first time, she went to have the hole re-opened in Mexico (after finding no local doctors willing to do the procedure). Amongst other information, there's a promotional poster for Amanda Feilding’s campain for parliament, 1979, stating "Trepanation for the National Health."
posted by filthy light thief at 1:48 PM on June 18

I'm looking forward to Bob Vila plugging the ideal Craftsman tools for trepanation.
posted by crapmatic at 1:49 PM on June 18

Impartiality fail.

I liked the old-school Wodehouse aristos who worried about raising fat pigs and marrows and getting inside tips for Goodwood. These new-style aristos who run around funding fake research on head-drilling and anti-vax campaigns and whatnot frost my cupcake a bit.

And let's not even talk about the Prince of Wales's dangerous nonsense...oh, for the days when Princes of Wales only wasted public money on mistresses.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:51 PM on June 18 [3 favorites has favorites]

Diana ideed retains her mechanical, armour-suited husband, but this is Anne's new BFF, Leslie the Blonde Emo, as she's moved away from Green Gables. Of course, she's only emo because her husband is a man-child and it clears up as soon as his true identity is revealed. And then Diana goes off to command Super Battle Fortress Macross and he husband is outed as a Zentradei spy.

As noted, it goes off the rails a bit for the Anne series.
posted by GuyZero at 2:00 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

Amanda Feilding’s campain for parliament, 1979

That's more awesome that Canada's Natural Law Party! Doug Henning for PM!
posted by GuyZero at 2:02 PM on June 18

Personally, I prefer the slightly disused "trepanning."
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:45 PM on June 18

A: Have you got a hole in your head or something?
B: Um, yeah. Actually I do.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 5:04 PM on June 18

I read an article a while back (sorry, it's lost to me in the whorl of the Interwebs) written by a big trepannation advocate who did it to himself. He said that after the procedure he did in fact feel better, had less depression, had a great mental powers, etc. But all those benefits only lasted him about a month, then he felt back to "normal". And he even admits that all the changes could've been psychosomatic, but didn't believe so.

So in short, he was glad he did it, and was really happy with it for the month it had positive effects, but was truly disappointed that it was only temporary.
posted by zardoz at 5:52 PM on June 18

Thought translation device, cannabis, fun for all the family!
posted by fcummins at 6:46 PM on June 18

Drilling a hole in one’s head is really a nerve battle

Not to mention making sure the set-screw on the depth stop is nice and tight, otherwise there go the piano lessons.
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:09 PM on June 18 [1 favorite has favorites]

CynicalKnight: Impartiality fail.

Sidhedevil: And let's not even talk about the Prince of Wales's dangerous nonsense...oh, for the days when Princes of Wales only wasted public money on mistresses.

quin: Like so many moments in life, drilling holes in people's heads is one of those "It seemed like a good idea at the time" and "Vodka's great; it steadies my hands and acts as an antibiotic!" and "What do you mean we shouldn't use a spade-bit" and "So, how exactly are we gonna get rid of this body?" things that science should probably embrace wholeheartedly.

Ye Gods—leave it to Metafilter to see everything in the most negative light possible. I swear, there isn't a single thread these days that isn't full of merciless snarking and jokes at the expense of someone or other. Why is it so hard for everyone just to shut up for a moment and try understanding someone else's point of view?

I tell you, Metafilter would really improve if all of you could be just a little more open-minded.
posted by koeselitz at 9:42 PM on June 18 [3 favorites has favorites]

I tell you, Metafilter would really improve if all of you could be just a little more open-minded.

Dude, you didn't need to boldface the punchline. I haven't got a hole in my head.

what the world needs now...
is another...
folk singer...
posted by DecemberBoy at 9:54 PM on June 18